Review: Disaster Movie

Plot: Spoofs of recent major films set against the backdrop of a world ending catastrophe.

The Ups: You know, honestly I didn't think I would have anything to put in this section other than the fact that the flick had a short run time. I did however think the 'Enchanted' character was funny, and the send up of 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' did have me laughing a bit. It also didn't hurt from a guys perspective that they had plenty of eye candy.


The Downs: Whew, where to start? First off 'Disaster Movie' is a misleading title, it should be called 'Movies that came out in the past six months and oh yeah there's asteroids falling'. Just about every single joke falls flat on its face and the only ones that don't are ruined by the filmmakers need to draw the skit out for 5 minutes longer than it should be. I'm not even going to comment on the lack of any kind of plot because lets be honest the only aim in these flicks is to find a way to link Amy Winehouse to '10,000 BC' so that they can transition between jokes. As if these latest spoof movies weren't bad enough, we now get to sit through takes on current pop culture “stars”. I mean Christ...they even managed to work in Wolf from American Gladiators. This seemed to be a joke even to those who were starring in it. When Z list celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra perform like they are better than the script you know it has to be complete shit.

The Final Word: Please....please...PLEASE do not give these people your money. They keep making more of these because we keep going on opening day. If we show them that this pathetic excuse for a movie just isn't gonna cut it then maybe we can get back quality spoof's like 'Airplane' 'The Naked Gun' and 'Hot Shots'. Well, at least it lived up to it's name it was most definitely a disaster of a movie.

1/10

Read More

Review: The Clone Wars

Clone Wars: It's been suggested to me that any attempt to review this turd of a "film" would end up in a rant. And that's probably true, but I'll give it my best shot to remain calm and civil. It's not like I have any special affinity for Star Wars and was it's biggest fan until Lucas decided he wanted to steal MY money and make endless versions of the same film and time their releases when he KNEW everyone had already bought the previous version and then decided he wanted to make kiddie movies--

Whoa whoa whoa! Gimme a sec to get a grip.........deep breath....okay...

Read More

Review: Tropic Thunder

Without doubt this summer has been a bit of a disappointment for me. I felt that there were four "Can't Miss" films this season: The Dark Night, Pineapple Express, Transsiberian, and Tropic Thunder. The Dark Knight exceeded expecation. Transsiberian was a borderline masterpiece. Pineapple Express is overrated and not nearly funny enough. And last but not least, Tropic Thunder, which had the luxury of having the funniest trailer I've seen in years. But was the film nearly as hilarious? Yes and no...


Directed by Ben Stiller himself, Tropic Thunder is the story of a war film gone horribly wrong. The film is helmed by a first-time director(the hilarious Steve Coogan), and it's gone massively overbudget. The film stars Dolph Lungren-esque action hero Tugg speedman(Ben Stiller); fart joke comedian and drug addict Jeff Portnoy(Jack Black); and arthouse favorite Kirk Lazarus(Robert Downey, Jr.). The clashing of egos by these whiny stars, combined with the less than talented director, has sent the production over the cliff.

Read More

Review: Death Race

Plot: In the near future the prison system has become so overcrowded that private contractors have been called in to take over complete control. They begin broadcasting gladiator style fights over the Internet for a fee. When the fights are no longer enough they invent Death Race where cars armed to the teeth race for freedom in a kill or be killed atmosphere. Jensen Ames is framed for his wife's murder and is sent to terminal island. Now he must race for his freedom.

The Ups: Now, I may be a bit bias because I'm both a Jason Statham fan, and a huge action junkie but I gotta say that the action sequences in this flick were as good as anything I've seen since Gone in 60 Seconds. They are able to incorporate a key element of any racing video game in a very believable way which I liked a lot. Whenever we would get to the actual race scenes they would be intro'd as if you were watching the pay per view which, surprisingly enough, didn't come of as cheesy the way it has in some other movies that tried the same thing. All of the kills in the film were done wonderfully most of them you don't even see coming and there are quite a few “HOLY SH%T!!!” moments throughout. Lastly the soundtrack was surprisingly good, or I should say the main theme, it was really funky and worked well with the environment they were giving you.

The Downs: The screenwriters for this one really didn't work very hard when dreaming up the background characters. They basically took the script and said “OK generic prison guy #1 here, insert prison cliché, make 'don't drop the soap' joke, generic prison guy#2 here and......scene”. The other thing about the cast that really bothered me, and is a staple in a lot of prison movies is the chubby, nerdy, wouldn't hurt a fly friend of the main character. How does this guy get sent to the hardest prison in the country?? Did he murder 30 people and rape an aardvark? Fine, just tell us in a throwaway line so my mind can be at ease. I mean, damn....anyway. My other big gripe about this movie is an open letter to Hollywood: STOP USING THE SHAKY CAMERA....I GET IT, THERES ALOT GOING ON ITS ACTION PACKED. I'm sorry but this is the stupidest thing, they spend millions on stunts and FX only to have them not seen because you can't tell what the hell is going on. This flick even added a new twist and did a zoom in/zoom out type thing, it's just really annoying and takes away from the action thats going on.

The Final Word: Come on folks, Casablanca it's not .Theres a lot of crudeness and the acting isn't gonna win anyone any awards. That being said this was a really fun action packed late summer popcorn flick. One that I would definitely recommend to fans of the action genre, but if your more of a How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days type, maybe wait for the rental. For those who do go see it in theaters, watch for the Dreadnought, if you liked the tractor-trailer scene in The Dark Knight you're gonna love this!

7.5/10

Read More

Review: The Rocker

Plot: Drummer Robert “Fish” Fishman is fired from the hair metal band ‘Vesuvius on the eve of their success. He spends the next twenty years working a dead end job until a new opportunity presents itself in the form of his nephew’s garage band.

The Ups: This is a fun little movie with quite a few decent laughs and a little bit of heart without cheesing it up too much. Rainn Wilson is great, really a talent with wonderful comedic timing and has just enough of that neighbor look to make him even funnier. Joshua Gad who plays Fish’s nephew was a nice surprise. The trailers had me believe that he was a Jonah Hill knock off but thankfully this is not the case. While there is a similarity their humor is a bit different and this kid is actually likeable as opposed to Jonah Hill’s “funny but an asshole” characters. Teddy Geiger who until now was known only as a pop music one hit wonder actually turns in a decent performance and while I don’t see Oscars in his future he wasn’t bad. Watch for a great cameo/bit part by Will Arnett as Vesuvius lead singer also the bands agent plays the pitch perfect douchbag manager type.

The Downs: Formulaic to a fault. The film was completely predictable and followed the same template as every other movie of its kind. Also, little attention was paid to the movie’s subplots, a big deal was paid to an absentee father but the only payoff was that it served as inspiration for the songs. The love story arc was brought up and dropped about three times with no real resolution. For a comedy A LOT of the jokes fell flat and they seemed to reuse all standard sight gags Guy stands up and hits his head, Guy gets hit in the Crotch, Guy is naked and it is not pleasant.

The Final Word: Not a theater movie, maybe a rental if you don’t mind seeing the same thing played out with different characters. It’s unfortunate because the entire cast did a great job, it just didn’t seem like they had all that much to work with. Then again, maybe it’s partially the effect of having so many amazing movies out this summer before it.

6/10

Read More

Review: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

I'll be frank, I think Woody Allen is overrated. He's a one-trick pony who writes the same characters every single movie, especially the ones starring himself. He's a wormy, neurotic nerd who somehow always bags the youngest, hottest chicks. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'd probably do the same thing if I were him. But I'm not, and so the criticism stands. Other than Annie Hall, which is a masterpiece that I fully admit was correct in beating out Star Wars for best film in 1977, I've found most of Allen's work to be middling at best, atrocious at worst. I swear to god an eleven year old had to have written Scoop. In recent years, Allen's creative output has been a see-saw ride, to say the least. He peaked with the outstanding Match Point in 2005, reached a new low with Scoop, and now he's mining some new territory in Vicky Christina Barcelona.

"New territory" in the sense that he hasn't produced a film this overtly sexual in quite some time. The story revolved around two best friend, Vicky(Rebecca Hall) and Christina(Scarlett Johannson), who are polar opposites on the scale of love. Vicky is more conservative, more analytical in her thinking on the subject. Chrstina is more gregarious, more sensual. She hops from guy to guy never quite able to find one who excites her for the long term. Both women are extremely beautiful and intelligent, like most Woody Allen characters. There's no dumbing down of the subject matter here, every word seems calculated for maximum effect.

Read More

Site Under Construction, But Still Semi-Open for Business

Let's be honest, we're all a little tired of the artsy fartsy old critics who've monopolized the scene all these many years. Not that there's anything really wrong with them, some of them are quite nice. But up on the current issues? Not always. A bit too in favor of comparing every modern film to some silent film from a millenia ago? Sometimes. Don't get us wrong, we like us some classic films too. We just don't think every film needs to be held up to comparison with them. We're striving to produce a fun, down to earth show that manages to give insight without alienating the average, everyday filmgoer. We hope you'll enjoy it.

In the next few weeks, John and I will be working on building this page and getting our podcast in full swing. We intend for this to be the companion page to the show, with links to upcoming films that we're keeping our keen eyes on; as well as critical information on upcoming DVD releases as well as our opinions on the current crop of titles.

You'll be hearing from us soon! Enjoy the show!

--John and Travis

Read More