11/28/2008

Tons of Punisher Stills

Here's a bunch of new stills I snagged from Latino Review...so thanks to them! I'm really loving the look of this flick, it really captures the Garth Ennis feel of the Punisher. Jigsaw is one GRUESOME MF'er...damn...

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Police Academy: Begins?


Ok, who was it? Who was clammoring for a new Police Academy movie? Who was beating at Guttenbergs door...well, whoever it was he answered your call. In a recent interview with The Sun the Gutte said,
"We are doing a new movie and it is going to be great fun. A script is being written and so far it is really great, everyone from the original movies who is still around will return."
As if that wasn't enough he went on to comment on a ready to go Three Men and A Baby sequel,
"Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and I are looking to make another Three Men And A Baby movie. It's called Three Men and A Bride. The script is pretty much written and we are really keen to get that made. We're very hopeful."



I'll be honest, I always liked Steve Guttenberg. I think though that his on screen charm is best left in the 80's. What do you guys think?

11/26/2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!


Happy Thanksgiving from your Punch Drunk Critics! We hope everyone has a happy, safe, and food filled holiday! I know we are definitely thankful for every single one of our readers and we look forward to the writing for you for many Thanksgivings to come!

New Public Enemies Images

Some new images from Micheal Mann's new movie Public Enemies have just hit the web courtesy of movieweb.com. I'm pretty excited for this, not only is it about the depression era gangsters but it has an awesome cast. The flick stars Johnny Depp as John Dillinger and Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis the FBI agent trying to bring him down. Everyone has heard the names Dillinger, Babyface Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd but really the star up to this point has been Al Capone for the gangsters and Elliot Ness for the feds. I happened to catch a documentary on the history channel about Dillinger and Purvis' pursuit of him, I was blown away by how interesting it was and by the fact that not much has been done on it previously. Past all of that, really, is there a cooler looking era then this?



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Your Daily Laugh

I just ran across this poster and cracked up, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. After all, who doesn't need a good laugh late on the last day before a long weekend?

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Punisher: War Zone Countdown 10 days!


WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENT IMAGES
18+ ONLY

Some of you will think me crazy for being so excited for the new Punisher, you may be right. I am hoping against hope you're not and this trailer, which came out quite some time ago, is standing in my defense. It's full of the kind of over the top unapologetic balls out action that the Punisher should bring. When other kids were diving into their XMen and Superman comics, I had Frank Castle. Frank thought those other guys were pussies...and I agreed. This movie seems to know what it is, and just goes for it without trying to be anything else. I can only hope that this isn't a clever trailer trick and that the actual movie is like this. Also I must point out how awesome the song in the trailer is, it just makes you want to go out and uppercut a random douchebag which I have to imagine is what they were going for. Thoughts?

Downey Jr. talks Iron Man 2


RD Jr. recently sat down with MTV.com to talk Iron Man 2. Below is an excerpt from the interview:



“If we don’t get it right, it’s really going to suck. It has to be the crowning blow of Marvel’s best and brightest, because it’s the hardest thing to get right. It’s tough to spin all the plates for one of these characters,” Downey tells MTV, later adding: “The danger you run with colliding all these worlds is that Jon was very certain that “Iron Man” should be set in a very realistic way. Nothing that happened in Iron Man is really outside the realm of possibility. Once you start talking about Valhalla and supersized super soldiers and jolly green giants, it warrants much further discussion."



I love that he's taken the stance that perfection is not a given, that there is a chance they can make an imperfect movie. This is the first step to actually make a great IM2 and an even better crossover Avengers movie, once you realize your not perfect you can look a little closer at what your doing and be more certain your making the right decisions. He's also making a great point about how you meld the different worlds. Sure, on the comic book page Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man can all hang out but in the cinematic world there's a big risk factor for cheese. It's a delicate balance of dedication to the source material and belivability that I think they will be able to pull off. So far so good as The Incredible Hulk was handled in a way that was fully belivable and set the stage for Captain America's super serum. The only one I'm worried about it Thor as he is the only one that really jumps into the supernatural. What do you guys think?

Wolverine Trailer!!!


No...sorry we don't have it yet. Just an idea of when we will. After months of no word and nothing but some grainy comic-con footage to go off of, final word has come down that the trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine will be attached to prints of The Day the Earth Stood Still. So if you didn't have any reasons to go see Keanu do his best Gort now you do. The second the trailer drops we will have it here for you, TDTESS comes out Dec 12th so we'll probably have a bootleg version that day with an official version the following monday the 15th.

11/25/2008

New Star Trek Trailer--Now With More Nimoy!!!


Ain't It Cool News has a new version of the Star Trek trailer on their site which is basically the same as what you've allready seen, save for one tiny detail. OG Spock Leonard Nimoy makes an appearance at the end! Go on over to check it out...but make sure you come back :)


Lundgren to joing 'The Expendables'?


Sylvester Stallone's latest project is shaping up to be quite possibly the most awesome who's who of action movies ever assembled. A bold statement you say? Yeah, I agree, but you know what it's backed up. Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and Jet Li as Mercenaries heading into the jungle to overthrow a dictator is rod inducing enough, but now the talk is that they are going to add Dolph Lundgren into the mix. I for one think this is an amazing idea, dude is still in amazing shape and has always been great in action movies even if he has had shit scripts to work with. Take a look at Universal Soldier or The Punisher, no I'm not kidding The Punisher. The movie was shit but he was convincing in the action scenes and did a good job with what he was given I thought. In any event I think this is an amazing addition to an allready great cast if it is in fact true. What do you guys think?

Give 'em Hell, Malone trailer: Looks Awesome!!

Ok, another movie has just leap frogged to the top of my most anticipated list. Give 'em Hell, Malone is a 70's style detective flick with a touch of the grindhouse thrown in. It looks like an episode of Kojak or Columbo, right up my alley. Gumshoes, scandalous dames, and secret briefcases. What could be better? The film stars Thomas Jane and Ving Rhames(who ironically played Kojak recently). Not sure of the release date as of yet. Check out the trailer! I can't wait!

New Terminator Salvation poster


A new flash poster for Terminator: Salvation has just hit the web. This is the first of it's kind that I have seen and I think the idea is really sweet, basically it starts as an birds eye view of L.A. and drops in to reveal the image above. Pretty cool idea, and a sick poster if I do say so myself. Have I told you guys how excited I am for this movie yet?

Punch Drunk Podcast Episode #6

This week on the Punch Drunk Podcast:

1. James Bond leaves the guys shaken, but decidedly unstirred as they review Quantum of Solace.

2. McLovin. Stiffler. Wyatt Trips? The guys take a look at Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott in Role Models.

3. The Prime Directive demands internal discussion of JJ Abrams upcoming Star Trek reboot.

4. John & Trav reveal their most anticipated films of 2008 and beyond!

We hope you'll join us by clicking right.......here!

11/24/2008

An afternoon treat


Just because I came across this picture. You know, I always thought Mila Kunis was a tasty lil tart when she was on That 70's Show but latley she's just been shooting up my list. So here's my dedication on a cold November afternoon to you Ms. Mila Kunis...why oh why are you dating Macualy Culkin (I dont know if I spelled his name right, and to be honest I don't really care, he doesn't merit a spell check.)

Twilight sequel gets green light


Despite lackluster reviews, a 70 million dollar opening weekend has guaranteed us a follow up to Twilight. Summit entertainment has just issued the following press release which I'm sure Travis will be more than happy about:




Los Angeles, CA November 22, 2008 – Summit Entertainment announced today that the studio is officially moving forward with the production of NEW MOON, the second installment of its filmed franchise TWILIGHT, the action-packed, modern day vampire love story. The movie will be based on the second novel in author Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series titled, New Moon. The first movie in the TWILIGHT franchise, the self-titled TWILIGHT, arrived in theaters this weekend to sold-out showings.

Ace Ventura Jr. Trailer

Yup, thats right...they actually did it and it seems as bad as it sounds. Well, at least it's direct to DVD. You know a movie is horrible when they advertise the special features just as much as the movie itself. Enjoy!


Trav to Twilight: Bite Me


You might not have known about it, but some movie called Twilight came out this past weekend. You wouldn't have known it because there was practically no marketing of the film whatsoever. It wasn't on every channel, or on the front of every magazine from Tiger Beat to Ladies Home Journal. It stars tons of name actors performing surprisingly meaty roles that stretch the boundaries of their craft. What little buzz it's attained has been through word of mouth only based off critical reviews of it's rich, deft, storytelling.

Obviously that's all b.s. This is without doubt the most overhyped movie of the year, and while that doesn't automatically disqualify the film from being good it does have the effect of magnifying the criticism when the film tanks. In every sense of the word this movie is a turd. It smelled from the first trailer I saw months ago, and it smelled worse over time and now the stink is a vapor trail wafting behind long after the opening weekend receipts have been tallied.

The film, inspired by the Stephanie Meyer book of the same name, tells the story of Bella Swan, played by one of my favorite actresses Kristen Stewart. Bella has just moved to the impossibly cloudy town of Forks, WA to live with her father. Why's the town so cloudy? So that vampires can walk around all day, silly! Duh! Her father is the folksy chief of police who's main job appears to be the cliche of hanging around the one diner in all of town and ordering the largest steak in the house. Bella is the new girl, so she's immediately taken a liking to by everyone. She's an instant celebrity. Well, to everyone but the Cullens, that is. The Cullens are the mysterious "family" of cool kids who hang out together in school. They are impossibly pale, impossibly good looking, and never eat anything. Oh, and they are never around when the sun is shining. I think there might be something wrong with them. Something vampirey.

Bella finds herself attracted to Edward Cullen, played by that guy who Voldemort killed in one of the Harry Potter movies. But Edward doesn't seem to like her back, in fact he actively avoids her. That is, until he's forced to save her life suddenly and outs himself to her. Then he can't stop talking. And when he talks...it's...like this all the.....time. He's so dark and moody it's a wonder he gets out of bed in the morning. Oh wait, he's a vampire, he doesn't have a bed. Color me stupid. Edward reveals that he is drawn to Bella, not because she's hot or anything, he never actually tells her anything remotely romantic, but because her "blood smells sweet". Try that one next time you're out at the bar, fellas. There's a small window time where that line might actually work, and if the lady in question has seen this movie more than once your chances increase two-fold. So Bella, being the cheap skank that she is, likes the fact that she is the Splenda™ of human cattle, decides she can't be without Edward now. She's introduced to his family, led by Peter Facinelli. Yes, that Peter Facinelli. He's playing somebody's Dad now. The guy from Can't Hardly Wait and Fastlane is a daddy figure.

For the better part of two hours nothing of note happens in this slow moving train of a film. Bella and Edward make awkward googly eyes at eachother for roughly 90 minutes. It's not terribly interesting, in fact it's downright boring. That is unless you are one of the myriad of of pimply faced little girls swooning everytime Edward Cullen....well, he doesn't actually do anything. Oh wait, he climbs trees and bounces falling apples off his foot. He's the monkey organ grinder of movie vampires. In all seriousness the vast majority of the early part of this movie is Bella and her not quite cool, not quite geeky friends. It's not terribly fun to watch. There's some stuff about people being murdered in town by "wild animals" that isn't compelling because we know where it's headed from the first mention of it. There is absolutely no conflict in this film. It's never in question whether Bella or Edward will be together. There's never a question whether his family will accept her, in fact they do quite easily. They try to make something out of Nikki Reed's(director Catherine Hardwick's muse) character perhaps not liking Bella but nothing comes of it. There's a trio of "evil" vampires who become rivals near the end but it amounts to literally ten minutes of a crisis for Bella and Edward. I guess this was supposed to be the time when Edward shows how much he really cares for her...sweet...smelling...blood. They even remove the most simple of problems for vampires, which is their presence in sunlight. In this silly little OK! Magazine world created for this movie, sunlight makes the vampires prettier rather than kills them. Yes, it makes them even more attractive. This movie simply abhors anything that stands in the way of making life difficult for it's high school sweethearts. I dare say there was more drama in High School Musical than in this mess.

Catherine Hardwick, who has made a career making shallow teen flicks of inflated importance, has decided to completely subtract the importance element from her resume here. This film is total schlock. It doesn't work as a vampire movie. It doesn't work as a teen drama. It doesn't work on any level whatsoever. It's wasted the talents of some great actresses like Stewart, Nikki Reed, and particularly Anna Kendrick. And what's worse for me it has finally found a way to make vampires decidedly UNcool. A feat I thought damn near impossible. I just hope this isn't the stake to the heart to other, more competent vampire movies.

4/10

11/23/2008

Masters of the Universe animatics

As promised earlier today in a podcast you couldn't possibly have heard yet here are the fan created animatics from a more grounded Masters of the Universe. I'll be honest, they are not as impressive as I remember, and I almost want to say that this is not the video I was looking for but this still gets my point across. He-Man can be done, and done right in today's world. I would put it almost as a Lord of the Rings, meets Braveheart meets, Star Wars...now how awesome does that sound? What do you guys think?

11/21/2008

Review: Transporter 3


Frank Martin is back…but not by choice. Transporter 3 begins with Jason Statham’s Frank Martin enjoying what appears to be semi-retirement by fishing with his only friend the French Inspector Tarconi and hanging out as his house watching fishing shows on TV. This all comes to an abrupt end when an acquaintance that he suggested to a client for a job because he wasn’t available, comes literally crashing through his wall. The next thing we know Frank wakes up in a hospital like room wearing an exploding bracelet. Frank is showed out to his car, which now contains a young woman named Valentina, two red bags, and a wireless transmitter set to blow his bracelet should he get more than 75 feet away from the vehicle. The job; Get to an undisclosed location with the cargo intact.

I’ll preface this by saying I was a fan of the first Transporter flick and LOVED the second. That being said…this was the first movie I’ve wanted to walk out of in the last five years. I even like to stay through shit like Disaster Movie just for the morbid curiosity of what were they going to do next, this flick did not even have that. There were absolutely no redeeming qualities about this movie except for the fact that Jason Statham and the Audi were in it. First off, I’ve said many times in the past that genre movies can get away with a lot if their specialty is done right, action does action and comedy does funny, ya know. Transporter 3, a movie that obviously is not going to win any Oscars for best screenplay, only has three real action sets and of those three two are exact copies of themselves and of scenes in the other Transporter movies. Here’s the scenario, the first two major action sets in the movie are the scene from Transporter 1 & 2 where the camera is at Frank’s back and the bad guys encircle him. He then fights them off, (one by one mind you, when will these guys learn to rush a mofo), using his suit in various ways and doing funny things like folding his suit jacket in the middle of the fight. Now, don’t get me wrong this was awesome the first time; hell it was still cool the second time but two more times in THE SAME FREAKING MOVIE!! c’mon, you guys aren’t even trying.

My next big issue with this flick was that they decided to make Frank become a romantic halfway through and basically break all the rules that he fought so hard to keep in the first two movies. It’s not even really that he breaks his rules, but that he does it for Valentina, this ass ugly bucket of yuck that the producers found in an eastern European alley somewhere. The character of Valentina would easily get on my top 5 list of most annoying movie characters of all time, and the first character since Jar Jar Binks to single handedly stain a legendary series. I’m not an extremely superficial person, I don’t think every actress has to be Jessica Alba, but DAMN, this chick is fugly. Now let me explain why this becomes a problem in this ACTION movie, literally 50% of the movie it seems is spent in a close up on her face and after about twenty minutes of this you start to wonder if the freckles engulfing her lips are going to come alive and attack Jason Statham so that maybe, just maybe we can have another action scene. Is that all? No my friends, I’m sorry, but it is not. They also decided to make Valentina Ukranian, and give her comically broken English to speak. Which truly is one of those things that’s only funny for about thirty seconds. When she starts to get into five minute monologues about roasted fish it just becomes painful. There were points where the audience was literally laughing out loud at how bad her lines were and then a few minutes later they were cringing because she was still talking and it was no longer funny. I could go on for another 2000 words about this chick but suffice to say she ruins the movie.

Other than the points already mentioned there is some SERIOUS suspension of disbelief issues, like when Frank jumps through his window, a window which has always been bulletproof so jumping through it would be a bit of a task, and about twenty other instances of comically unbelievable crap. As well as every other action movie cliché, bad one liner and cheap henchman from central casting you can think of. All of which would have been forgiven, mind you, had they had decent action scenes but they failed on the most basic of goals for this type of movie and I’m sorry but I can’t forgive them for that.

So, should you see this in the theater? What do you think? I would not even recommend watching this on TBS three years from now if you’re still up at four in the morning with a bad case of insomnia. You have no idea how disappointed I was as I walked out of that theater, not just by Luc Besson, but by Jason Statham. This is just as much his baby as it is anybody else’s, maybe even more so since this was his breakthrough series. He let them destroy the series for a paycheck and I just hope he’s got something good up his sleeve to make up for it.

1/10

Shazam!!! Captain Marvel Film a Go?

VARIETY is reporting that a deal might be in the works to bring the tales of Billy Batson, aka Captain Marvel to the big screen. Peter Segal, who just recently did the Get Smart film with Steve Carell, has apparently struck a deal to direct the film out of his own production house. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been attatched to the role of Captain Marvel's nemesis, Black Adam.

This sounds like a good deal to me. Captain Marvel always should've been just as big as Superman in my opinion, and a well done film could be just the boost the character needs. It won't take much for this to be superior to the current Superman franchise, and the addition of The Rock is a perfect fit. Anybody got any ideas on who would make a good Captain Marvel?




ShowHype: hype it up!

The Wrestler trailer



Finally, we have an offical trailer for The Wrestler a flick that Travis and I were lucky enough to see a screening of earlier this week. This flick was great, and while it doesn't come out in theaters for a few weeks yet check out the trailer and keep it on you list of must sees in the next month. More on this in the next podcast.

Astro Boy Teaser Trailer

I remember reading some of the Astro Boy manga when I was a little kid, but it never really hooked me as I got older. I have to admit though, this teaser has got me pretty damn interested. For those that don't know, Astro Boy is about a robot with a wide array of fantastic powers. He lives in the futuristic Metro City, and was created by a scientist to replace his dead son. Sounds like Mega Man, doesn't it?

Take a gander at the voice talent on hand for this one, too. Pretty impressive!








ShowHype: hype it up!

Answered Prayers: Arrested Development Film A Reality?

No, not the Arrested Development who did the songs "Tennessee" and "Mr. Wendell" back in the mid 90's. Hollywood Reporter is saying that a deal is close to being finalized for a big screen feature based on the damn hilarious sitcom about the wacky Bluth family. Speculation's been running rampant ever since the show was cancelled back in '06, mostly fueled by cast members. Word is Ron Howard will assist in the directing duties.

This is great news. The final episode left the door open for their to be a movie. A number of the stars are much bigger names now than when the show ended, specifically Michael Cera and Jason Bateman, helping to ensure a potential box office that wouldn't have been there a couple years ago. And plus, we might get to see more of the biscuit sopping Carl Weathers, and who couldn't go for more of that?






ShowHype: hype it up!

11/19/2008

50 Cent Rejects Racist Hollywood, Agrees to Star in London Gangster Film

50 Cent, who only last week openly hoped that Barack Obama's presidency would help cure all the racism in Hollywood(>sigh<), has decided that London is the place for him. He's signed on to play a loan shark in "Dead Man Running", a gangster film from Alex de Rakoff.

Dude, shut the fuck up. Marginally talented rappers with marginal acting ability who've been in Hollywood for five minutes need to stow all the "da man's holding me back" crap. I won't go off on too much of a tangent here because this post was about the movie, but many of the top stars in terms of credibility and salary are African-American. African-Americans have an increased stature behind the camera as well as in front of it. Just because you can't get any roles other than thugs and gangsters doesn't mean Hollywood is conspiring against an entire race. With little to no acting resume whatsoever you've already managed to star next to some of the most legendary names in Hollywood history. So again, shut the fuck up.






ShowHype: hype it up!

Gossip Girl Creator to Reboot X-men Movie Franchise???

Variety is reporting that Josh Schwartz, creator of the teen fad of the moment, Gossip Girl, has been chosen to reboot the X-men movie franchise in a film to be titled X-men: First Class. The title is the same as the current Marvel comic that also focuses on the x-men as teenagers in the early stages of learning about their powers.

The film is scheduled to drop some time in 2010. No word on who will be starring, but you can probably expect a bunch of CW types.

Can I just say that this is a completely unnecessary reboot? The last X-men film, directed by the awful Bret Ratner, was craptastic to say the least. The logical next time, in my opinion, would have been to continue on with a new batch of X-men that we haven't had the chance to see. Perhaps taking a bit darker tone, maybe pushing more towards X-force than Uncanny X-men. Instead we're getting teeny-bopper X-men, probably fighting against a Magneto who just graduated from college and is upset at having to pay student loans.



ShowHype: hype it up!

11/18/2008

Official Star Trek Trailer

No more bootleg! Here's the official version of the Star Trek trailer. Still looks awesome!




ShowHype: hype it up!

75 Comics Currently Being Made into Movies

As a comic book reader and fanboy, you'd think I'd be ecstatic that so many of my favorite heroes are being adapted into feature films. Well I was at first, but now it's gotten to the point where Hollywood no longer even bothers with original concepts. What's worse, the comic book industry has become the stepping stone for wannabe screenwriters to get noticed. They pop their head in, write a hero for a year doing a particularly inventive storyline, then move on to Hollywood when they get noticed. It's bad enough that Hollywood has already taken over the San Diego Comic-Con with all their movie trailers and crap. More movie memorabilia at the Con means less room for Japanese girls dressed up as Sailor Moon, and I can't have that.

Anyway, our friends at Den Of Geek have compiled a list of 75 comic books currently being made into feature films. It's pretty disgusting, actually.

Freedom Formula (2010)
Radical comics GN depicts a Robocop-style future where corporations rule and purpose-bred racers compete in tournaments with 'Vicious Cycles', exo-skeletal armour shells giving the wearer Iron Man-style powers, and depicts the story of 'Zee', the 'Neo' of this piece determined to bring down the whole corrupt system. Bryan Singer is producing the movie.

Runaways (2011)
This Marvel comics original finds teenagers fleeing to make up the sins of their parents, who they have discovered to be covert super-villains. A finished script is expected by early 2009 and Runaways is said to spearhead Marvel's post-Avengers strategy.

Ramayan 3392 A.D. (2011)
Mandalay pictures are producing this adaptation of the 2006 GN, which tells the story of legendary Indian warrior Prince Rama, a reincarnation of Vishnu. The original Indian epic has been moved to the kind of post-apocalypse setting currently so bankable in Hollywood.

The Leading Man (2011)
Effectively a combination of The Saint, Jason King and The Persuaders, Nick Walker is a globe-trotting superstar actor who - Elvis-like - does some serious spying on the side. Wanted producer Mark Platt is hoping for more comic book gold.

War Heroes (2011)
We discussed the absurd speed at which his comics are made into films with Mark Millar in our recent interview, and his latest work is no exception, with his tale of enhanced supersoldiers sitting currently with Ghost Rider producer Michael De Luca.

Sleeper (2011)
Holden Carver - known as 'The Conductor' - has absorbed the ability to transfer pain inflicted on him back to the source, making him a useful intelligence operative. Presumably, then, the torture scenes will be refreshingly short. This project - produced by Sam Raimi - is currently beguiling Tom Cruise.

Kick Ass (2009)
Another Mark Millar project that's highly anticipated and pretty much finished, though no release date has yet been set for the story of the self-styled teen superhero whose first successful tussle with bad guys gets YouTubed to world acclaim.

The Goon (2010)
Eric Powell's 1999 GN about a musclebound mob-flunkie and sidekick Franky is being produced as an animated movie by David Fincher. It's set to continue Watchmen's rather 1930s vibe, as you can probably tell from this poster.

Caliber (2010)
John Woo's retelling of the Arthur legend is based on Sam Sarkar's Radical GN, and finds Excalibur the sword replaced by Caliber the six-shooter as the medieval tale is reimagined in the old west.

The Leaves (2010)
Originator Kevin J. Walsh is adapting his own recent graphic novel for the screen. Here a New York doctor visiting India to attend a friend's funeral is told by a fortune-teller that he is the bringer of the apocalypse. Summit entertainment are producing the movie.

Last Blood (2010)
This graphic novel about a post-apocalyptic world where vampires must protect a core of humanity from zombies in order to have a reliable food supply, is available online. A History of Violence producers Chris Bender and J.C. Spink - who have 49 other titles in development including Zombies Of Mass Destruction - is working with Family Guy supremo David A. Goodman on the adaptation.

Buck Rogers (2011)
John Flint Dille's swashbuckling, future-dwelling astronaut is set to fly again with a new production from Avi Lerner at NuImage/Millennium. The project still needs a studio and a script.

Hard Boiled (2011)
Frank Miller is set to helm the movie version of his own graphically violent 1990 graphic novel, where a tax collector called Carl Seitz discovers himself to be a Terminator-style cybernetic assassin. Spirit producer Deborah Del Prete is also on board.

ZMDs: Zombies of Mass Destruction (2011)
Underworld creator Kevin Grevioux is set to launch a new supernatural franchise with the intriguing story of military-bred zombies who are dropped into enemy territory at night but have been designed to dissolve at daybreak, but - wouldn't you know it -one of the crusty critters fails to oblige.

Thulsa Doom (2010)
Gladiator/Push actor Djimon Hounsou is set to spin off from the mainstream world of Conan as the Cimmerian's arch-enemy, a sorcerer of great power (played in the 1981 Schwarzeneggar movie by James Earl Jones).

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
The film that definitively proves graphic novels are the new spec script, as writer Lionel Wigram's source comic remains unpublished and was produced in lieu of a speculative script. Robert Downey Jr. has an unlikely Doctor Watson in Jude Law, and this is, it seems, the begin of a career departure for hard-knuckled Guy Ritchie.

Red (2010)
Warren Ellis's 2003 thriller - about a retired CIA assassin that a new administration feel is a threat - is the first DC property to leave the fold for other producers, and will be produced by Transformers/2's Lorenzo di Bonaventura, amongst others.

Ocean (2010)
Described as "an alien thriller with a fresh take on the origin of man.", Ocean is another Warren Ellis original heading screenward, this time under Gianni Nunnari and Nick Wechsler (already involved in comic-book films from Frank Miller's Ronin and 300). Angel-like bodies are discovered in coffins in the frozen oceans of Europa, and a UN weapons inspector must fight off a powerful company looking to exploit the discovery.

Hiding In Time (2010)
Christopher Long's now hard to find GN - about a witness relocation program that uses time-travel to hide witnesses - is being brought to life by Max Payne adaptor Beau Thorne and Terminator Salvation producer Dan Lin, and this tale of assassins who discover the chronological locations of their targets and go in pursuit of them certainly seems close to the Terminator world.

Elfquest (2011)
Richard Pini's 1978 cult comic - published at various times by both Marvel and DC - is finally set for the big screen after a number of false starts. DC hold sway as the film is being produced by Warners with Rawson Marshall Thurber at the helm.

Doctor Strange (2012)
Already the subject of two low-budget adaptations (in 1978 and 2007), there have been many contenders to helm and star in the tale of the New York superhero/mystic; Christian Bale - perhaps unimaginatively - is the latest to be offered the cape, while Guillermo del Toro has flirted endlessly with the project, which remains without a confirmed director.

Illegal Aliens (2010)
Further reinforcing the vanishing division between comics and films, Vanguard comics are proposing simultaneous film/comic launches, of which this tale of a reporter in search of the 'chupacabra monster' is one. Jeremiah exec producer Scott Mitchell Rosenberg is on board.

Resurrection (2010)
Marc Guggenheim's new GN depicts a world recovering from alien invasion (by a race called 'the bugs'). As the aliens depart, society must reform and retrench, so it's basically Mad Max meets Survivors. Universal have picked the project up and it may be the first 'post-post apocalypse' movie to be released.

Ghost In The Shell (2010)
Earlier this year, Spielberg was angling to make the first non-CGI version of the post-cyberpunk anime series that features Motoko Kusanagi, a female cyborg fighting technological crimes in a future Japan (what are the odds the locale will change?). The project is being developed by Dreamworks and Marvel supremo Ari Arad.

North Wind (2011)
Boom! Studios tale of antarctic apocalypse is being brought to the screen by Eureka producer Andrew Cosby. North Wind centres on those who have survived a new ice-age and are determined to rid themselves of the tyrant who has risen from the chaos to rule them.

Wonder Woman (2011)
Possibly the most controversial piece of casting of the decade, there are a million forums alive with speculation as to who will play DC comics' Amazonian warrior, though Jessica Biel is looking hot right now. Errr. Anyway Joss Whedon's wasted two years on the project are further indication that no-one really knows what to do with such a cheerful character post-Dark Knight.

Harbinger (2010)
Brett Ratner is heading up this very X-Men-like project, which deals with a group of outcast teenagers - the difference is that their powers must be activated by the 'Omega Harbinger'. After the poor critical reception of X3, this adaptation of Jim Shooter's comic could be Ratner's chance to get the concept nailed.

The Megas (2010)
T3 director Jonathan Mostow created this graphic novel for Virgin comics, presumably as a spec-GN for a movie. Megas postulates an alternate America where the founding fathers created an aristocracy instead of a democracy, and centres on a detective investigating the seedy underbelly of the American royal family. Mostow himself is heading up...

Namor: The Submariner (aka Submariner, 2010)
Originally with Chris Columbus, this Marvel Studios tale of the Atlantean wing-heeled hero has had Angel's David Boreanaz attached for some time. Central character Prince Namor will be caught up in an ecological war between the land-dwellers and the sea-denizens whose habitat they have polluted. Jonathan Mostow is still said to be attached to the project.

Starkweather (2010)
Like a cross between Sabrina The Teenage Witch and Doctor Strange, this entry from Archaia Studios Press tells of a young boy descended from sorcerers but ignorant of the fact until a coven seek him out in his twenties. Another one that'll be hard to Google, thanks to the 1950s murderer that inspired Badlands. Chris Bender and J.C. Spink (see Final Blood above) are attached.

The Avengers (2011)
Slated for a prime summer slot on July 15th 2011, this is set to be one of the most highly-anticipated movies of the next few years, directed by Jon Favreau with Robert Downey Jr. firmly signed to it as Tony Stark/Iron Man and new 'Rhodey' Don Cheadle attached too. Marvel Studios are financing and Paramount distrubuting, as usual. Rumours are obviously rife regarding casting.

Iron Man 2 (2010)
7th May 2010 and the wait will be over for Downey Jr. to rocket upwards for a sequel to the smash hit 2008 Marvel Studios' debut. Terence Howard's replacement by Don Cheadle (see The Avengers above) has caused a stir, but we're all pleased that Downey Jr. has signed on the dotted line up to Iron Man 3.

Nick Fury (2010)
Jack Kirby's streetwise S.H.I.E.L.D supremo was a huge hit in a guest spot with Samuel L. Jackson at the end of the credits for Iron Man, and many are hoping that Jackson will return and make the film that Shaft should have been.

Red Sonja (2009)
The Robert Rodriguez-produced adaptation of the adventures of the Marvel comics heroine (a Conan spin-off derived very loosely from a Robert E. Howard short story) generated much interest at comicon when Rodriguez and Sonja star Rose McGowan showed off some sexy new posters, but there's some speculation the film may go straight to disc.

Barbarella (2009)
The personal split between McGowan and Rodriguez doesn't seem to have stopped Sonja, but Rodriguez's adaptation of the 1960s French space-kitten comic by Jean-Claude Forest has had other problems over the last two years, and it's looking bloody unlikely this side of 2010 whoever does it.

Whiteout (2009)
Long completed, this Kate Beckinsale horror adaptation (of the 1998 graphic novel by Greg Rucka) keeps getting bumped, and is currently slated for a release in September of 2009. Whiteout concerns a US marshall (Beckinsale) investigating Antarctica's first murder.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
The movie they perhaps should have made to begin with, given how he hogged the three X-Men movies, this will show us the genesis of self-healing mutant Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) in the early 20th century as he makes an enemy of Sabretooth and gets kitted up with the lethal blades. Zack Snyder conceded the film to Rendition director Gavin Hood.

X-Men Origins: Magneto (2009)
Further details on the plot of the other X-prequel came to light recently, and producer Lauren Shuler Donner spoke further on the matter , describing the film as centred around Erik Lensher and Charles Xavier "in their early, early years." Despite a 2009 release date the latest project note states "A script exists, but there is no green light for the project at the moment.", and this refutes earlier intelligence on the matter.

Thor (2010)
Kenneth Branagh was entranced by the classical tale of Marvel comics' Norse god with a big hammer, which remains without a leading man (Daniel Craig turned it down). The film is slated for release 16th July 2010. Check out our interview with Thor comic writer Marko Djurdjevic here.

The First Avenger: Captain America (2011)
Jurassic Park III director and effects guru Joe Johnston is slated to direct the tale of the New York fine arts student who takes a super-serum that soups him up for action against the Nazis in WWII America.

Akira (2011)
Leonardo DiCaprio disappointed many fans of Katsuhiro Otomo's 80s manga strip by declaring that he won't be in this, though his Appian Way production company has set SFX wizard Ruairi Robinson to direct. The title character is a child of God-like powers who may have started the third world war that decimated the 'Neo-Tokyo' that biker gangs skirt round. Blade Runner-tastic. Appian Way are also developing...

Ninja Scroll (2011)
Another anime outing that DiCaprio is producing but not acting in, Ninja Scroll is set in feudal Japan where a ninja must fight eight demonic entities. Watchmen writer Alex Tse will be helming when he's done with the new script for Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man.

Battle Angel (aka 'Battle Angel Alita', 2011)
Yukito Kishiro's 1990 manga about an amnesiac cyborg trying to recover her life and survive in the margins of the 'scrapyard' remains slated for a James Cameron 2011 adaptation despite Avatar having dominated the headlines, though there's some confusion about the project's status. Like Avatar, the project is intended for dual 3D and straight release.

10 (2011)
Originator Shannon Eric Denton may have come up with the most un-Googleable new movie title ever (let me help), and to boot it will get confused with both the Blake Edwards 1979 comedy and its 2011 remake. The Boom! Studios comic proposes some Saw/Battle Royale-like shenanigans as ten unwilling contestants must hunt each other or die. Ice Cube is slated for this.

Silver Surfer (2009)
2009 is looking a bit unlikely for the (rumoured) return of Doug Jones as the shiny semi-hero of Fantastic Four: Rise Of The SIlver Surfer. J. Michael Straczynski revealed that the character's association with the unappreciated FF2 doesn't help. Galactus is rumoured to return, hopefully not just as a VGER-type cloud. Dark City's Alex Proyas refused the helm, and Fox is rumoured to be awaiting the reception of the Wolverine movie before committing.

Tintin (2010)
The trilogy based around Hergé's 1930s gee-whiz reporter is having trouble getting started considering that Spielberg and Peter Jackson are involved. Steven Moffat decided to abandon his three-film commitment in order to helm Doctor Who, and the film - a 3D CGI-fest using motion capture - received unfavourable funding terms from Paramount after Universal refused a 50% investment in the trilogy. Spielberg is slated for Tintin1 and Jackson for 2.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (2009)
Boldly titling itself to hopes of an instant franchise, the character - known Britside as 'Action Man' - was a toy a long time before he was in comics, and Paramount is modestly positioning the film aside from big summer hitters like Star Trek and Wolverine with an August 2007 release. Ray Parks, Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols are headlining the movie, where special US operatives pursue Asian arms dealers.

Sin City 2 (2010)
Frank Miller returns to helm the sequel to the stylistic 2005 hit. Based on the GN story "A Dame to Kill For", Clive Owen reprises his role as Dwight McCarthy to take revenge on (a rumoured) Rose McGowan, an ex-lover who makes an unwelcome return to his life.

Sin City 3 (2010)
Miller is slating the second Sin City sequel to cover the 'Hell and Back' story featuring ex-navy SEAL Wallace, a vigilante character that Miller says was based on Johnny Depp, though the actor is not officially attached to the role.

Proximity Effect (2009)
An inversion of the powers-scenario in Hancock, the heroes in Proximity Effect only have their special abilities within thirty feet of each other, and the story suggests other historical couples besides the heroes who were 'source' and 'siphon', such as Hitler and Eva Braun. Creator Roger Mincheff is set to produce, but the project hasn't been heard of for quite a while. You can read two issues of the source comic online here.

Sgt. Rock (2012)
The film of DC comics' NCO looks to be on the back burner for the time being according to producer Joel Silver. Guy Ritchie, currently directing Robert Downey Jr as Sherlock Holmes (see above) wrote a 'great' script but the project's thunder has been stolen by Inglorious Basterds.

Spider-Man 4 (2011)
Shrek 3 and Robots writer David Lindsay-Abaire is the latest esteemed scribe to get involved in Spidey 4 after the early draft of Zodiac writer James Vanderbilt. The usual speculation about potential villains is rife, with Carnage and Lizard rumoured. Sam Raimi confirmed his involvement this year.

Superman: Man of Steel (2011)
Despite profitability, Bryan Singer's 2006 Donner-loving reboot/sequel Superman Returns inspired little studio confidence for a franchise run, and many - including Mark Millar (see link in War Heroes above) have been seeking to completely reboot the franchise. Brandon Routh is not as out of the picture as many think, it seems, and neither is Bryan Singer. But how far will they have to reboot the franchise to get Superman off the ground again?

Virulents (2010)
An ancient Indian evil emerges in war-torn Afghanistan to menace the troops; they're not zombies and they're not quite vampires but they're rather nasty - and terrorists to boot! Virgin comics Indian push proceeded apace in 2007 with this GN. Max Payne's John Moore is attached to the project.

War in Heaven (2009)
Touted as 'the next 300', WiH was snapped up as a spec-GN in a 2007 bidding war, and tells the 'Braveheart-like' tale of the battle between angels Gabriel and Michael and soon-to-be-fallen Lucifer. Not much has been heard since.

Y: The Last Man (2010)
Yet another apocalypse setting, this time for Vertigo/DC Comics' tale of the last man on Earth. But this ain't I Am Legend, because the plague that decimates humanity only affects 'Y' chromosome possessors, leaving central character Yorick Brown amongst 3 billion women, who (perhaps not surprisingly) begin to create an ultrafeminist society. Disturbia's D.J. Caruso and Carl Ellsworth are on board.

The Witchblade (2009)
Battlestar Galactica's Michael Rymer is set to helm the movie adaptation of the Top Cow productions GN, in the wake of the TV version. The eponymous weapon is (of course) supernatural, a 'one-ring'-style sentient artifact that has afforded great powers to women such as Cleopatra and Joan Of Arc and now falls into the hands of NYPD detective Sara Pezzini. She doesn't look like any cop I've ever seen.

Billy Batson and the Legend of Shazam (aka Captain Marvel, 2010)
The Captain Marvel character is awfully close to Superman in capabilities, and the scrambling for 'dark' properties for superhero movies could have moved this project even further down the roster. Get Smart director Peter Segal is attached, and in his defence was talking about a 'darker' character well before The Dark Knight's release and box-office supremacy.

Night and Fog (2010)
2008's Studio 407 GN Night and Fog tells the Hammer-inspired story of a military experiment that goes awry on a remote island, leaving a group of survivors to fend for themselves against the majority of the small population that have turned into monsters. Studio 407 have specifically launched a slate of titles aimed at getting made into movies, and Death Defying Acts producer Kirk D'Amico is on board for this adaptation.You can check out some of the pages of the original artwork here.

Luke Cage (2009)
Marvel's titanium-hard man - a streetwise, Shaft-style Harlem bruiser given body-enhancing drugs whilst in prison for a crime he did not commit - is being backed by John Singleton (said to have abandoned The A-Team for the project) with Tyrese Gibson favoured for the lead.

Justice League: Mortal (aka Justice League Of America, 2011)
An early 2009 start date was cited in August 2008 for the film depicting a super-assembly of DC heroes including The Flash (Adam Brody). Green Lantern, Batman and Wonder Woman, with George Miller directing. Evidence of active pre-production has set tongues wagging further. Australian model Megan Gale is strongly hyped as Wonder Woman, though there's no casting association with the beleagured Wonder Woman movie (see above).

Iron Fist (2012)
Popularly thought to only have a chance if Luke Cage (above) does well (the character developed out of that series), Iron Fist is resting in development hell with Ray Park thought to have left behind his association with the role.

Green Lantern (2010)
Ryan Gosling has been hotly tipped to wear the green ring of power in the movie of the DC comics verdant hero. The script is said to be good at the moment, and producer Donald De Line confirmed his enthusiasm for it. The fact that Green Lantern is more a suit than a person (worn by a series of fictional characters) takes the pressure out of casting a franchise in a Doctor Who/James Bond -style.

The Green Hornet (2010)
Hong Kong martial arts cinema God Stephen Chow is set to direct (post-Kevin Smith) and play sidekick Kato to Seth Rogen's Hornet in an adaptation written by the pair in association with Pineapple Express co-writer Evan Goldberg. Since the production is set to be pretty 'straight', the casting of corpulent Rogen has caused some curiosity.

The Flash (2010)
The film of DC's lightning-fast sprinter seems to be tying its shoelaces at the moment. Likelihood seems to be that the JLA movie is confusing the issue in a way Batman never needs to worry about, so it could be quite a wait for Wally West to get moving. Dark Knight producer Charles Roven concedes that there has been no progress on the project.

R.I.P.D. (2010)
This tale of holy cops patrolling the afterlife in the 'Rest In Peace Department' is outlined as part of a seven picture deal between Dark Horse comics and Universal. Associated Wedding Crashers director David Dobkin will probably get round to this before getting anywhere near The Flash (see above) as it would be trading in a less crowded market and for less cash than Flash.

The Hands of Shang-Chi (2009)
This kung-fu crazy character emerged from Marvel comics at the height of the early 70s martial-arts boom and the stories incorporated Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu and Nayland Smith characters. Ang Lee is in the producer's chair with Forbidden Kingdom stunt arranger Woo-ping Yuen set to direct, but most of the news on the project is pretty old.

Hack/Slash (2009)
Devil's Due Publishing output this GN - about a typical female horror-film victim who strikes back - in 2004 to great acclaim, and screenwriter Justin Marks told CBR in October of 2008 that the project is going ahead just fine, profiled as "comedy with the gore in place"; so it all sounds very Buffy-esque so far.

Maintenance (2009)
Terminator: Salvation's McG has long been set to direct Jim Massey's tale of Terrormax Inc., who supply 'doomsday devices' and weapons to supervillains. You can check out 32 pages online gratis at the Onipress website; the movie may not be coming as quickly, but it still seems to be on.

Maybe...Maybe Not (2010)
Stepping away from the superhero realm, Ralf König's tale of a love-cheat forced to shack up with a gay friend has already been made as the German film Der Bewegte Mann (1994), and this English-language version is being prepped by Quarantine producer Clint Culpepper for Screen Gems.

Gamekeeper (2010)
Former 2000AD editor Andy Diggle (also a force on Judge Dredd and Swamp Thing) wrote this tale of a caretaker at a Scottish estate who uses his knowledge of the land to hunt he killer of his son, and Guy Ritchie sponsored it Tarantino-style. Though Ritchie is set to direct and Joel Silver produce, not much has been heard of the project since last year.

Jonah Hex (2010)
DC's scarred confederate officer of the old west was firmly based on Clint Eastwood's 'Man with no name'. It's therefore a daunting mantle to assume, and obvious candidate Josh Brolin is hesitant to take it on. Thomas Jane would take the role in a heartbeat. Crank franchise director Mark Neveldine is at the helm, and with a 'two-face'-style hero and a very dark ambience to transfer to film, it's an attractive proposition right now, listed as being in pre-production.

The Expendable One (2009)
This action comedy - about a guy who drinks a friend's enhancement potion and develops Wolverine-like powers of self-healing - was given the go-ahead in 2007, but has made little impact since. The central character decides to fight crime with his new powers but finds that it's a lot harder than it looks. Originators Shane Kuhn and Brendan Cowles are writing the screenplay.

The Ark (2010)
Described by creator Mark Verheiden in 2007 as "a big science fiction story", the original tale received a very limited run at Dark Horse comics, and notions of it having been written as a spec-GN for a movie have been bandied about. Columbia don't seem to have moved much on the property since the 2007 announcements.

Super Max (2010)
More green goodness, with a Green Arrow sent to a super-Prison and bent on escape. Another superhero project abandoned by Kevin Smith (see Green Hornet above), this currently rests with Dark Knight writer David S. Goyer (Hack/Slash's Justin Marks also produced a draft screenplay).


Pending updates: Ex Machina, Conan, Batman 3, Flash Gordon, The Adventures of Luther Arkwright, Cowboy Bebop, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Dragonball, Ant-Man.




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Review: The Wrestler



I've told this story many many times, but I was literally raised on professional wrestling. It's no exaggeration when I say that my earliest TV watching memories were of the Mulkeys getting slammed around the ring by the Road Warriors. There was no Sesame Street or Electric Company, there was WWE All-American and NWA Saturday Night. So you can imagine how much I anticipated catching Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler last night. I wasn't disappointed. He's created what has to be the most realistic, gripping portrayal of the life of any professional entertainer/athlete in recent memory. If Mickey Rourke doesn't receive atleast a nomination for his groundbreaking portrayal of "Ram" Robinson, it'll be a travesty.

Ram used to be one of the most popular wrestlers of the 80's, akin to a Hulk Hogan or a Ric Flair. But now, way past his prime he finds himself still latching on to the spotlight in any way he knows how. He's down and out, destitute, living in a trailer park with little or nothing to show for all his years of blood, sweat, and tears. He performs in tiny independent shows on the weekends, forming a bond with the up 'n coming wrestlers who remind him of himself. Like most wrestlers of his age, Ram has been slowly killing himself with steroids and pain killers in order to keep up with the youngsters of his profession, and finally one day it all catches up to him in devastating fashion. Realizing how truly alone he is, Ram decides to reach out to his estranged daughter, played by Evan Rachel Wood. He also attempts a relationship with Cassidy, a middle aged stripper who's life path mirrors Ram's own, played beautifully by Marisa Tomei in a fierce performance. Ram is given the opportunity to relive his greatest match ever in a historic event a few months down the road. But he has to decide whether or not to move on with his life, forging something new with the people he loves and who love him, or risk literally everything for one more shot at the spotlight.

11/17/2008

Big Screen 'Robotech" Lands it's Head Zentraedi



Smallville's Alfred Gough and Miles Millar have been named as the head writers of Hollywood's big screen version of anime classic, Robotech. Tobey Maguire is producing the film. No firm release date for the film has been set.

I was a huge fan of the cartoon as a kid, and the prospect of a live action version has my curiosity piqued. Does anybody else think Tobey would make an awesome Rick Hunter? But who would play Min-Mei? THAT is the real important question.





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11/16/2008

Running Myself Ragged or 5 Films in 7 Days



In the most recent podcast, John and I decided to take a week off because we were less than impressed by the upcoming slate of films. What better time to take a much needed break? Then as fate would have it, I had probably the most prolific week of filmgoing I've had since I saw Gladiator 3 times in about a 24 hour span. Five films in seven days. Enough artificial movie butter is flowing through my veins now to choke an elephant, and I've got a small bottle of white cheddar popcorn topping in my coat pocket right now. Can't believe they charge 1.50 for it!

I'm keeping these short for sanity's sake.

Film #1: Synechdoche, NY

Sure, Trav, start with the easy film. Charlie Kaufman, writer of one of my favorite films Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind amongst many other head trips, decides to rack my brain once again. Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Caden, a troubled theater director struggling to understand his own life. His wife has left him and taken their daughter with her. He's been diagnosed with a degenerative disease. And now he's been granted enough money to finally pursue his own play, so what's he do? He constructs a life size replica of New York and begins a play re-enacting his own life on a daily basis. This is as meta as any film I've ever seen, as Caden hires a man to play himself. Caden gets to watch his own life replayed before his own eyes, but will it actually change anything? Does it offer any unique perspective? I spent the better part of the last week trying to figure out every detail of this film. But I came to the realization that understanding for instance why Caden's girlfriend's house was always on fire wasn't important. The important thing is that it got me thinking and coming up with my own conclusions. Without having seen it a second time, I can say that Kauffman has created one of the most interesting films I've ever seen featuring one of the most compelling characters in recent memory. Great performances from Samantha Morton, Catherine Keener, and my girl Emily Watson round out what I would call a movie that everybody should atleast see once. I will hopefully see it a second time this week, and perhaps I'll do a full review of it then.

7/10

Film #2: Soul Men

I already did a full review on this one, so I'll just say it was a pretty good film filled with great music and some of Bernie Mac's strongest comedic work. A fitting end to a great career.

Film #3: Role Models

If I had Big Brothers like Paul Rudd & Sean William Scott, I'd be pretty fucked up too. From the guys who brought you The State and Wet Hot American Summer comes this film about two friends, both polar opposites, forced to mentor two young boys in lieu of going to prison. Paul Rudd plays Danny, a stick in the mud negativist who works as a pitch man for Minotaur Energy Drink. Scott plays Wheeler, and if his name isn't enough to let you know that he's the wild card of the duo, then how about his job title? Wheeler is the Minotaur. Danny finds himself paired up to mentor Augie Franks, played wonderfully by Superbad's Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Augie is a soldier in the Zantheon army. What is the Zantheon army? It's a fictional land created by Augie and his friends when they play LAIR, which is a form of Live Action Role Playing. He and his buddies dress up in full middle age attire, and do battle with plastic swords and shields. Wheeler is paired up with Ronnie, a foul mouthed kid who shows little respect to anybody except his own mother. Both Danny and Wheeler, who are both selfish in their own ways, come to learn more about themselves in their dealing with these two kids. Look ,we all knew there'd be some creamy emotional center to this film, and there is. Surprisingly none of it comes from Danny's relationship with his ex-girlfriend, played by Elizabeth Banks. I felt all of their scenes felt forced and non-esseential to the story. On the other hand, the relationship with Danny and Augie was the highlight of the film. Every scene involving Danny's forced LAIR adventures were genius. I even took somewhat of a liking to Sean William Scott in this , as he was considerably more restrained than usual. While I didn't quite buy everything between Wheeler and Ronnie, especially all this KISS nonsense, it didn't take me out of the film and I was actually interested in where they would end up. The usually dependable Jane Lynch pitches in some of the funniest lines of the movie. A solid comedy that will surprise some with it's emotional depth.

6/10

Film #4: My Name is Bruce

Why do I torture myself so? On a whim I went to check out Bruce Campbell's latest offering on the hopes that I'd be seeing an ironic look at the life of the D-List cult celebrity. Instead, what I was treated to was a fourth rate monster flick. Now look, I know who Bruce Campbell is. I know his films quite well. So no, I wasn't expecting Cloverfield or anything like that. I went into it thinking it would be Bruce Campbell being himself, looking at his life as this guy who everybody knows but not everybody knows why. Seeing his dealing with some of his more rabid fans, and things like that. Bruce does play himself in the movie, but it's a hyper-realized version of himself. It's like when Carl Weathers played himself on Arrested Development, only not funny. Bruce is kidnapped by a small town's citizens because they believe he can help them defeat Guan Dei, the evil Chinese god of bean curd. Yes. Bean curd. Why do they think he can defeat Guan Dei? Because one of the kids in town is a Bruce Campbell fanatic, and for some reason thinks his films are real. To be fair, there's some charm in the campy, cheap slaughter perpetrated by Guan Dei, but that's all I found entertaining in the least. If you're truly dying for some cheesy fun from ol' Brisco County himself, go rent Bubba Ho-Tep.

3/10

Film #5: Quantum of Solace

No. Just...no. This isn't Bond. Atleast not for me. One of my chief complaints about the Bond series since I've been watching them is that I never felt any personal stakes for Bond in any of his films. They always featured daliesque villains with goals of world domination. That gets old real quick. Ironically this film tried to give me what I wanted. It attempted to give Bond some personal interest in this mission by having him seeking revenge for the murder of a loved one. However they then spent the entire film having Bond chase after the most boring Bond villain ever, Dominic Greene. Really? I want to watch Bond go after a tree hugger? That's what I paid for? Greene is a member of Quantum, part of the "secret" global terrorist organization responsible for Vesper Lynd's death in the first film.

I've got so many beefs with this film, I hardly know where to begin. Like I said, Dominic Greene is a horrible villain. Even though he's played well enough by Matthieu Almanric, who was so good in The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, he's given nothing to do here. He's not threatening in the least, so it was obvious they shoehorned in The General in order to add some credibility to the threat. Not that it worked. The General did nothing, actually. I never got the feeling that Bond was in any real danger. Even when MI6 turned on him, they were completely incapable of slowing him down. It would've been nice to see Bond actually have to rely solely on his wits for awhile, but that didn't last.

Camille Montes: Worst Bond Chick Ever? Certainly she's hot, but they're all hot so that doesn't count anymore. There have been some rumblings from people disappointed that she's such a "tough" Bond girl, but you know what? I didn't see that at all. She was whiny as hell, and yeah she held her own on occasion but she's hardly the first Bond girl who could throw a punch. They were gonna do a Jinx spinoff, for Chrissakes! Camille was just boring. Not much to her personality, and really she wasn't all that sensuous. I much preferred Strawberry Fields, anyhow.

To me this felt like a very half conceived Bond film. It was like they had an idea, but no firm idea on how to execute it. They tacked on a lot of the usual Bond staples as if to appease the hardcore fan. The aforementioned Fields was there for about ten minutes as if to give Bond someone to sleep with. He never got nearly so close to Camille. Jeffrey Wright, who plays CIA Agent Felix Leiter, is totally wasted.

But my chief complaint comes with the handling of Bond himself. I know they are going back to the source material, and as such Bond is portrayed as more of a thuggish type. More prone to violence, a "blunt instrument" as he has been described. I appreciate the more grounded world that Bond inhabits now. Less fancy gadgets and so forth. But unfortunately I liked the more suave, chic Bond of recent years. Not to say that Daniel Craig has done a poor job because he's been fine for the type of Bond they want to portray now. In this film however Bond is basically a brutal killer, and that's not what I want to see. Sure he's angry, but when your deathcount becomes a running gag in the film, that's a problem. There was an attempt to revert him back to type at the end, but the damage might've been done. We'll see when the third installment hits in a couple years.

What saves this film from being a complete waste of time are the incredible action sequences. It starts with an erratic, explosive car chase through the city streets that really gets the blood pumping. A fight through a half constructed cathedral was particularly well shot as well. Craig is fantastic in the action sequences. That much can't be denied. I just wish he had better material to work with. All in all, I hope this was just a momentary blip and not a sign of things to come to future Bond films.

5/10

Ok, that's enough from me. I took a whopping one day away from movies to watch my pathetic Chicago Bears get routed. And now tonight it's back to what I love most. John and I will be checking out Darren Aronovsky's The Wrestler, so expect a review of that soon on the site and definitely in one of the upcoming podcasts. You HAVE been listening to the podcast, haven't you?










ShowHype: hype it up!

New Star Trek Trailer: Bootleg Edition

I mentioned on Twitter(PunchyCritic) yesterday that the new Star Trek trailer looks absolutely phenomenal. Somehow they've found a way to make ST look fresh and interesting, while still capturing the grandiose feel that the original used to have. Speaking as someone who's only been a partial fan of ST, and in particular only really a fan of The Next Generation, this is a movie I can't wait for now. Consider me there on release day.

Anyway, here is a bootleg version of the trailer, thanks to our friends at Trailer Addict. We'll post the legit version once it hits, but this actually looks really good.






ShowHype: hype it up!

11/15/2008

Fast and Furious



Call me crazy, but I'm a fan of the F&F series. I think each one has been fun and entertaining, some more than others but all good nonetheless. This new one looks like it could be the best one yet with a venture back to real crime and racing drama with all of the original cast back for more. Something about this trailer just makes me excited for the flick, plus they picked a really cool sounding song for the backtrack. What do you guys think?



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11/14/2008

Dance Flick: More Chins than a Chinese Phone Book

Just for John, here's the new trailer for the Wayans' Brothers upcoming spoof, Dance Flick. Doesn't it look kewl!!?? :-(








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Even More New Watchmen Trailer!

Yahoo Movies has released the newest Watchmen trailer to the public! My anticipation is mounting, although I'm getting concerned about what I'm hearing about the ending! I think this might be my favorite trailer out of what we've seen. The music really adds the sense of importance and grandeur to it.





ShowHype: hype it up!

Kick-Ass!!

Some images from the upcoming Mark Millar/Matthew Vaughn film, Kick-Ass, have finally been released to the public. We've been following this film closely, as it's one of the most popular and violent comic books out there right now. For me, personally, I couldn't get past issue 1, but I love the concept and am looking forward to the film. These images have only piqued my interest even more.

The film also stars Nicolas Cage and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.


11/13/2008

Twilight Overload

Am I the only one getting sick of all the hype around the movie Twilight? Entertainment Weekly has an entire series of articles surrounding it. MTV has the TV spot up everwhere. I'm sure if I ever bothered to tune to the CW it's probably on there, too. Maybe this is showing my old age, but to me it looks like yet another trendy teen angst flick that will underwhelm.

What sucks is that I actually really want to see it. I'm a sucker for anything vampire related. I'm the only guy I know who is a devoted follower of all things Buffy; I watch True Blood; have read some Anne Rice novels. I even liked both Underworld movies. And I'm a fan of anything with Kristen Stewart AND Nikki Reed. But they are really turnin' me off with their marketing campaign. Making this out to be this generation's Romeo & Juliet isn't going to make me come to the theater any faster.




DC Film Society Coming Attractions Night

Twice a year the DC Film Society puts on it's Coming Attractions Trailer Night at the Landmark E Street Cinema. I've made it a point to go every time they have it since I joined up about three years ago. John couldn't make it because of work or some other b.s. excuse(work before movies? I think not, sir!!), so it was up to me to hold down the fort and rep the Critics along with my girlfriend, Rebecca.

These events are always a lot of fun. Hosted by local critics Joe Barber and Bill Henry, who bring their...unique, senses of humor along with 'em. As usual, "humor" is a relative term with them because frankly they are annoying as all hell sometimes. I love Joe Barber's work, but when he tells a joke, no matter what the joke may be, it falls harder than two sacks o' potatoes. And John's nemesis, Bill Henry? At least he's polite enough to save his lame jokes for after the trailers when he can be ignored. To be honest he's not that bad, either, except his arrogance is even more glaring than the shine off his balding nugget. I think they forget that we are there to see trailers, not to have the Joe & Bill Show. If I have any hope for the Critics as a duo it's that one day we get a chance to host one of these things. That would be pretty sweet, actually.

As usual the trailers were broken up into some odd groups. Waltz with Bashir paired up with Bolt made no sense except that both trailers featured dogs. Other groupings were more sensible, such as Christmas films and action flicks. The crowd, which looks to be getting larger every time they hold this event, would applaud at the trailer they thought was best. Sometimes we, as in me and a handful of other sarcastic types, would applaud at upcoming flicks which look absolutely atrocious. I cheered loudly at the end of Underworld 3, with it's poor attempt to equate Rhona Mitra with Kate Beckinsale! Ha! It looks awful, but of course I'll see it. Couldn't tell if the cheers for Transporter 3 were legit or not. Bad franchise but the movies are popular and a lot of fun. The trailer for Australia wasn't very good, and I didn't know Baz Luhrman was attached. Now I'm more convinced than ever that it'll be more Pearl Harbor than an action movie.

I got a chance to check out a couple of trailers I've been most interested in lately. Another look at the trailer for Seven Pounds has only intrigued me further. The plot is more clearly in focus, and Will Smith appears to be at the top of his game yet again. My only concern is that the material seems a bit broad for a single film, but we shall see. The Day the Earth Stood Still looks both great and awful at the same time. I heard someone say that Keanu Reeves' presence equals a "top notch sci-fi movie". That guy apparently hasn't seen Johnny Mnemonic. I'm much more relieved by the presence of Jennifer Connolly. And I can say once and for all now that I'm tired of the Boy Fresh Prince already. Daddy Fresh Prince is enough, thank you.

The three films that most impressed me last night, though, are films I've been anticipating for a long time. Cadillac Records is the story of the old Chess Records and it's golden era of blues and soul music during the 1950's. It tells the tale of Leonard Chess and some of the greatest artists of any generation who were under his label: Muddy Waters, Etta James, and Little Walter. You know the soundtrack to that film is gonna be off the hook! The Curious Case of Benjamin Button looks like a new-type of Forest Gump flick. I confess to knowing precious little about the book, so if I'm off base then I apologize. With Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, Cate Blanchett, and David Fincher attached this should be great. The concept is something I've never heard of before, a guy who is born old and grows up getting younger. Milk, the story of slain politician Harvey Milk, looks better every time I see it. It's prompted me to put The Life and Times of Harvey Milk at the top of my Netflix queue.

The film that was voted by everyone as their favorite of the night, however, was Defiance. Starring Daniel Craig and directed The Last Samurai's Edward Zwick, it's the story of the Bielski partisans. Three brothers who escape from the Nazis and set up their own community of Jews to fight back against them. It looks good, but the best of the night? Not hardly. I think it probably has the most potential of any of the films to be a disappointment. Just call it a hunch.

A fun night. Two hours of movie trailers can't be anything but fun, can it? And I won a copy of Atonement on DVD. I usually sell my winnings at these things but I might hold on to this one. It was a good flick, afterall. Hopefully next time the Critics can be represented in full and we can finally get the Bill Henry/John Nolan tete-a-tete we've been anticipating for so long. Watch out for his left hook, John.


11/12/2008

Review: Soul Men


The passing of funnyman Bernie Mac has garnered his final film, Soul Men, more attention than perhaps it normally would've received. It's the last chance to have him entertain us without delving into his considerable catlogue of films, albums, and stand up routines. My hope going into this was that he would go out on a reasonably good note. I didnt want for his final film to be a stinker unworthy of bearing his name. Not that I was ever a huge Bernie Mac fan, but the man was undoubtedly funny and far more insightful than a good portion of his peers. Thankfully, I needn't have worried.