Ramis Clears the Air about Ghostbusters 3

I haven't done much in the way of reporting on Ghostbusters 3, leaving that job to John for the most part. The reason being that I've been less than excited about it. I'm typically not fond of bringing back franchises twenty years after the fact, and the prospect of the Apatow crew having anything to do with it seemed like a practice in crossing the streams, if you catch my drift. I'd be much happier with a third film that involves solely the original crew, maybe on their last job, and closing the whole franchise out for good.

In an interview with MTV, Harold Ramis revealed more details on the threequel, and pretty much confirmed that I'm not going to be a happy camper. He says:

"We're all going to be in it in different kinds of roles," Ramis said. "We're going to be the sage mentors. There are going to be young Ghostbusters."

Ramis, who co-wrote the original Ghostbusters alongside Dan Akroyd, also voiced his confidence in Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, who are co-writing the film. The two previously wrote the upcoming Jack Black/Michael Cera caveman comedy, Year One.

"Gene and Lee, both of whom I mentored, are now writing the new 'Ghostbusters,' " Ramis said. "I'm consulting with them, as is Dan Aykroyd and [original director] Ivan Reitman.

I'm trying not to be a hater, but after seeing all of the other favored franchises of my youth recently hammered into kibble with awful updates, it's hard for me to get excited over this.

Sherlock Holmes Teaser Poster

Latino Review provides us with this look at Robert Downey Jr. as the titular detective in the upcoming Guy Ritchie flick, Sherlock Holmes. Suprise, suprise, RDJ looks really good as Holmes..I can't wait to see what he does with the role. The film comes out Christmas Day and also stars Jude Law as Dr. Watson and Racheal McAdams as Irene Adler.

The Punch Drunk Podcast: Episode #19

This week on the Punch Drunk Podcast...

1. We're treated to an inside look at the life of one Mr. John Nolan, which includes watching Twilight on DVD, and reading comic book sequels to Freddy vs. Jason...

2. Do you know what the numbers mean? John and Trav review the Nic Cage sci-fi flick, Knowing! Plus, Trav thinks Duplicity makes spying look like more fun that it actually is...

3. A ringing indictment of John as a movie critic, as Slumdog Millionaire finally hits DVD! Plus, news on X-men Origins: Wolverine and the ruining of Deadpool!

4. What's this? An actual disagreement about a movie? I Love You, Man causes no end of bickering between the dynamic duo!

All that and more! We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(or two)! You can find the Punch Drunk Podcast on Itunes, Podomatic, or any of the finer podcast directories! Or you can subscribe directly by clicking right....here!

12 Rounds

After much deliberation I've decided that yes, 12 Rounds deserves to be reviewed. Not because the film is good, mind you. It's awful, actually. It deserves it because, well, John Cena demands our full attention. For those that don't know, John Cena is the muscle bound muscle-headed buffoon who stinks up Monday Night Raw every week, and on occasion feels the need to spread his foul stench to Friday Night Smackdown. He's basically Eminem if he spent too much time poppin' roids like Skittles. Cena's previous "movie", The Marine, cast him in the role of a former marine who's wife was kidnapped by a bunch of thieves. In 12 Rounds, Cena decides to stretch himself by tackling the role of a cop who's wife is kidnapped a criminal.

It's truly inspired stuff. Whereas The Marine was so awful that they literally decided that the best way to kill time was by cramming in as many slow motion explosions as possible, 12 Rounds doesn't even give us that much to enjoy. For the first few minutes I was wondering whether or not Cena had written the script himself, as every line seemed to be dedicated to pumping up the meathead's ego, "A freakishly large guy like yourself...". That line was by another DUDE, I might add. What makes it worse, it's an actor I actually like! Brian J. White, who's had starring roles in Stomp the Yard, Dead or Alive, and plenty of other films far better than this crap. He plays Cena's best buddy, the typical hounddog chasing every bit of tail in town, while Cena is his obvious female respecting counterpart. BORING!

Cena finds himself thrown into 12 rounds of deadly trials thrown at him by Miles Jackson, an international fugitive Cena helped catch a year ago to the day. During capture, Miles's wife was accidentally killed, and so he blames Cena for it. He forces Cena to go through any number of hurdles, which basically involve Miles threatening to blow something up, but give Cena plenty of time to achieve his objectives. In fact the only thing even remotely compelling is Miles offering the harshest critique and ultimate punishment for the obesity problem facing this country: send them all hurtling down elevator shafts. That'll learn 'em!

Embarrassing downfalls for the obese aside, there really is little to like here. The story is bland. Cena's trials are repetitive and rarely compelling. Cena himself has only two facial expressions: extremely happy or somewhat constipated. But I do give credit to Aidan Gillen, who is clearly having a ball with the psychotic genius that is Miles Jackson. He's actually worth checking out both here and in the final two seasons of The Wire. Surprisingly, the effects aren't even all that up to snuff and are pretty standard. I'd expect more from the guy who made Die Hard 2(Die HARDER!!!), but then again totally what I'd expect from the guy who made Deep Blue Sea. 12 Rounds is a hair better than The Marine, but that's not saying much. Obviously, this isn't the knockout film WWE Studios was hoping for.

4/10

Batman vs. The Weatherman!!

Nicolas Cage is a huge comic book fan. He's never hidden this fact, and whenever he talks about his role in the Ghost Rider films as Johnny Blaze or his upcoming role in Kick Ass it's obvious. So when pressed on the subject of possibly playing a villain in a future Batman film, Cage was predictably gung ho for the idea:

"I would love to play a supervillain. I think that would be a whole lot of fun," Cage said. "Yeah. If they call and invite me, I'd do it. Certainly."

This would be one helluva coup if it ever came to fruition. And frankly, after the Heath Ledger buzz this would be the perfect follow up, by adding another superstar who can compete alongside Christian Bale in terms of screen presence. As for what villains he could possibly play? He might actually make a decent Riddler. He's got the lithe frame for the part, and it would be interesting to see Cage's take on Mr. Nigma.

In my own warped little mind I can't help but think they should find a way to transport Cage's David Spritz from his film The Weatherman. A down on his luck TV meteorologist who snaps and begins killing people with a bow and arrow. It wouldn't take that much character tweaking to get it right. Of course it'll never happen but a guy can dream.

Top Shelf at the Box Office: 3/30/09

1. Monsters vs. Aliens- $58.2M

Coming at no surprise, Monsters vs. Aliens annihilated the competition with a whopping $58M opening weekend. The animated feature, which features the voice talents of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, and Hugh Laurie amongst others, had the highest grossing opening weekend for a digital 3-D film ever. Considering that it is also playing in IMAX, I imagine this will be racking up cash for many weeks to come. The side effect is that it's driving Watchmen out of IMAX theaters, thus cripping that film's receipts also.

2. The Haunting in Connecticut- $23M

Seriously? People obviously fell for the marketing ploy that this was "based on actual events", and lined up in droves. It's opening is in line with other films of this type, such as the recent Amityville remake and the Haunting of Molly Hartley. Obviously the fanbase for these types of films is reliable.....and gullible.

3. Knowing- $14.7M/$46.2M

The undisputed champ from last week probably predicted it's own 40% decline, which isn't all that bad in comparison to some other top films. My prediction that this would tumble it's way out of the top 5 was obviously way off. As usual.

4. I Love You, Man- $12.6M/$37M

That's only a 30% drop for the Paul Rudd starring vehicle. Unlike last year's Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this drop is a lot less steep, and by the looks of things it's on course to match or exceed that film's total receipts. It also compares favorably to Paul Rudd's most recent starring effort, Role Models. It looks like the combination of Rudd/Segal is one that can be counted on for solid if not spectacular returns.

5. Duplicity- $7.56M/$25.6M

Ouch! Well damn, Julia! You lost damn near 47% this weekend! I thought you were a star? And what about you, Mr. Owen? What's your excuse? I know this film was basically for adults only and it had to compete with a family friendly animated juggernaut, but this is ridiculous. You've got an Oscar nominated director, two of the biggest names on the planet, and a delightfully quirky premise and this is the end result? I'm not blaming anybody involved with the film. I blame America, who would rather see a bunch of no-names vomit up poltergeists. For shame!

6. Race to Witch Mountain- $5.64M/$53.3M

Monsters vs. Aliens laid the smacketh down on The Rock's candyass, as expected. It's the one prediction I got right last week. Whoo whoo! Talk about low hanging fruit.

7. 12 Rounds- $5.3M

However, even with like three weeks lead time The Rock was still enough to force John Cena's piss poor actioner 12 Rounds to tap out. By comparison, John Cena's previous craptacular explode-a-thon, The Marine, opened at $7M.

8. Watchmen- $2.75M $103M

With Monsters vs. Aliens taking over IMAX, Watchmen's numbers are taking a bigger hit. By the looks of things, Watchmen will not be recouping it's estimated $150M budget domestically, but worldwide receipts are still pretty impressive. The question remains whether or not what has to be considered a disappointing return will have any effect on future comic book films that don't come with some serious name recognition. For instance, what does this hold for Kick Ass? Or Scott Pilgrim?

9. Taken- $2.7M/$137M

10. The Last House on the Left- $2.61M/$28.5M

Also: Sunshine Cleaning continues to soak up big loot in few theaters, raking in an estimated $1,344,000 in only 167 screens. Due to it's success, it's expected that an additional 500 screens will be added beginning next week. The film is already playing here in the DC area at both AMC Shirlington and Cinema Arts Theater in Fairfax. Slumdog Millionaire finally used up it's last lifeline and tumbled out of the top 10, no doubt due to it's coming out on DVD tomorrow. But it's total winnings thus far have been very impressive, brining in over $139M.

'Three Stooges' casting announced. Includes oscar winners?!?!

Variety reports this morning that MGM has announced who they would like to cast in the upcoming The Three Stooges movie. Apparently Sean Penn is set to play Larry, Jim Carrey is in talks right now to play Curly (He's gonna gain 40lbs for the role), and are vying to sign Benicio Del Toro for the role of Moe. So this must be a Walk the Line-esque bio pic right? WRONG, this is going to be a straight up slapstick comedy simply following in the footsteps of the famous films of yesteryear. I'll be honest, I hate Sean Penn...don't know why, just think he's a douche so I'm not feeling that bit of casting news. Obviously this is right up Jim Carrey's alley, and I think Del Toro is more than capable of filling the role I just don't think this is really in his comfort zone. I'll be suprised to see if they can get him, allthough I would've said the same of Penn before I read this article as I would think they would laugh at the chance to do slapstick even if it's in the shoes of the famed threesome.

I Love You, Man

Most quotable film of the year, eh? And what quotes would those be, exactly? "Pop a squizno"? "Slammin' da bass"? Hardly inspired stuff, which is a shame because there is so much here to like. I Love You, Man looks like another one of those Judd Apatow-type flicks with the dorky manchild forced to grow up sooner than he's ready for. But unlike those films, the lead character here, played by the usually solid Paul Rudd is already a man with a girl. He's where most Apatow lead characters are aspiring to finish. The problem here is that he needs to open himself up more and perhaps be a little bit like those other characters in order to be happy.

The problem is that Peter(Paul Rudd) has never been much for hangin' out with guys. He's always gotten along better with women, which to me seems pretty friggin' ideal, but when he finds himself planning the wedding to his ill-named fiance Zooey, the topic of his lack of guy friends smacks them right in the face. Peter has no best man. Peter embarks on a series of awkward "man dates"(which already sounds like a euphemism) in order to find a best friend. Of course these go miserably. That is until Peter runs into Sydney Fife at the open house for Lou Ferigno's home, of which Peter is having trouble selling. Sydney is a master observer. He spots the little things about people that others simply don't notice. He's brash, somewhat harsh, but appears to be a genuinely good guy. He and Peter hit it off and soon become buds over their love of 80's rock band Rush and their love of fish tacos. As the two begin spending more time with each other, this causes inevitable conflict between Peter and Zooey, as she sees him less, and when she does she doesn't always recognize the man she loves.

Director and writer John Hamburg, who previously wrote one of the better "buddy" films in Safe Men really has a knack for crafting witty interplay between dudes. Here he also shows his strength for crafting strong, realistic characters. Some of his scenes, particularly between Peter and Zooey, hit strikingly close to home. I'm thinking about one scene where the two argue about why it's okay for her to divulge their every sexual encounter to her friends, but Peter is in the wrong if he does the same. I've had that conversation, and it's infuriating. I especially liked Jaime Pressley as Zooey's best friend, Denise, who's stuck in a verbally combative relationship of her own.

But the stand out here is Jason Segel. I never thought I'd dig this guy, seeing as I hated him in Undeclared all those years ago and didn't dig him in Freaks and Geeks, either. But he won me over in Forgetting Sarah Marshall last year and here he literally steals every scene from the woefully miscast Paul Rudd. Sydney isn't just the typical a-hole best buddy with no regard for the people around him. This could've very easily been a one-note role, but Segel turns Sydney into by far the most likable character in the film. Even when he's giving the most disturbing toast at a dinner party ever, you just can't hate him. He carries this thing into something worth watching, because otherwise I was going out of my mind with things that annoyed me.

Paul Rudd is terrible here. And it's not completely his fault. As good as Hamburg is at the dialogue between pairings, he's awful when it's obvious he's going for a joke. Peter's clumsiness around guys is exaggerated to a ridiculous degree, to the point of being unbelievable. There are a couple of scenes between Rudd and Segel, in which the scene demands it be played straight up, no going for laughs. I'm thinking in particular of the scene where Peter and Sydney have their big fallout. Segel plays it straight, but Rudd didn't. Ruined it. Paul Rudd is a favorite of mine, but his weaknesses are glaring here. He can't not be funny. I don't think he knows how to dial it back, and it's probably why he's best suited to supporting roles or roles where more isn't demanded of him. Also, Rashida Jones a Zooey? Pretty, but can't act. Andy Samburg, the SNL vet who everybody loves right now for whatever reason? Nice hair, dude. Can't act. Totally unbelievable. Stop trying to look cool in everything. Jon Favreau was okay, but I've never been able to buy him as a tough guy. And don't even get me started on the wasted talents of Jane Curtain and JK Simmons. Why were they even there? Not every bit works, like the subplot with Lou Ferigno or the gay guy stalking Peter. It's all just filler, and adds little to nothing in the ways of laughs.

There are some genuinely funny and inspired moments here, like Sydney's "jackoff station" which was hilarious because...well, every guy has one whether they wanna admit it or not. Except me, of course. But there just isn't enough here that made stood out for me other than Segel, and if I had to compare this falls way short of what Sarah Marshall achieved.

6/10

Where the Wild Things Are theatrical trailer

If there's an award to be given for the best trailer of the year, right now it has to go to Spike Jonze's Where the Wild Things Are. Using a music video style presentation and backed by Arcade Fire's "Wake Up", this already looks like the most fun film of the fall season. The trailer actually reminds me a little bit of the frolicking, quirky playfulness of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind's trailer, but with monsters ofcourse. Dig it.

New Blood for Transformers 3?

Two films in, and already the guys behind the Transformers franchise are already talkin' new blood. According to Slashfilm, screenwriters Robertro Orci and Alex Kurtman are mulling over the idea of doing something new for the recently announced third film. Orci says:

"The main reason we would move on is because we risk getting stale and comfortable. If you only sing one song for too long, you miss the opportunity to sing news songs. We’ll see."

Hey, I got an idea! How about you do something new and actually make a Transformers film starring, and this is a crazy idea, the TRANSFORMERS! Not a bunch of random 'bots with familiar names to longtime fans. Last I checked, all the Decepticons weren't friggin' jets and tanks.

I got another idea, why not move the third film to Cybertron, and really focus on the war between the two factions. You can still bring Spike along for the ride if you absolutely must, but go an all out action route similar to what they are doing with the Terminator franchise. I don't want to see giant robots hiding in some guy's backyard anymore. Ok? Thanks. I'll hang up and listen to your answer off air.

Knowing

Knowing is an odd bird of a film to be sure. I expected little, and yet liked it quite a bit. But what makes it unique is that it can be viewed as either a sci-fi film or a religious parable, I guess would be the term. I'm not much for films that draw inspiration from the Bible, because the meaning is often lost on me. But Knowing found a way to do it without making me cringe, and with the surprisingly strong performance of Nicolas Cage, I found myself fully invested in a film I had no intention of enjoying.

Fifty years ago, a disturbed little girl named Lucinda Embry leaves a page of supposedly random numbers inside a time capsule her class is burying. Fifty years later, that page is dug up and given to a boy named Caleb, the son of MIT professor John Koestler(Nic Cage). John becomes somewhat obsessed with the numbers, and soon discovers that they correlate perfectly to the dates of major disasters along with the number of people killed. This leads him on a quest to discover the true origin of these numbers. Meanwhile, his son begins having visions of a fiery apocalyptic end to all mankind. They are being pursued by a group of pale white figures Caleb refers to as the Whisper People, who bear a striking resemblance to the Strangers from Proyas's 1998 classic, Dark City. John and Caleb meet Lucinda's daughter, Diana(Rose Byrne), who's daughter Abby has been contacted by the Whisper People as well. They soon discover that the final numbers represent the end of pretty much everything, and they attempt to find any possible way to stop the coming apocalypse.

For the first half of the film I have to admit being a little confused. I thought I was going in to see a straight ahead sci-fi film, but even I noticed that their seemed to be many more allusions to Biblical tenets than anything else. Lucinda's picture of God returning amidst a fiery sunburst, for instance, and drawings that looked a lot like Ezekial's Wheel. There was also the appearance of the aforementioned Whisper People, who if one is pre-disposed to noticing such things, could be interpreted as being angels. When John is struck down by a beam of light emanating from one of them, it was the first thing that crossed my mind. And because of that, I wasn't sure where the film was going. John is an astrophysicist, and talk of the planets is also prevalent throughout the film, so I wasn't sure if we were going to be dealing with angels or aliens. I think what Alex Proyas, who's quickly becoming one of my favorite directors, has done is make a film that is acceptable to pretty much anybody.

It doesn't hurt that Proyas has a flair for the dramatic, and his films all take on a distinctive look and tone. Here, Proyas went for a more realistic feel, and it's a huge success. In particular, his special effect work is top notch, especially an uncut sequence in which a jetliner crashes from the sky literally yards away from John. It's a fantastic scene, but there are other similarly inspired gems here, including Caleb's first vision of the end of the world, as well as a concluding sequence which I refuse to spoil here. Proyas, who directed the aforementioned Dark City, The Crow, and the one Will Smith sci-fi flick I actually enjoyed in I Robot, has a knack for directing material that combines the fantastical with the spiritual.

I'd be remiss if I didn't give some props to Nic Cage, who I've never been the biggest fan of despite his undeniable popularity. He really holds this movie together for me, as he's forced to deal with Rose Byrne's inability to carry a believable dialogue with anybody. I usually like her, but in this she was just dreadful. Cage, on the other hand, is more likable the more embroiled he is in some great all encompassing quest. The more that's at stake, the better he seems to be. If I had to complain about anything, it's the scenes he's forced to share with Byrne, which come off as completely forced and wooden, through almost no fault of his own. Yeah, the usual Cage tics are there, but they didn't bother me this time. He came across as a father who was ultimately worried about the fate of his son, even in the face of impending world doom.

Knowing could've screwed up by going too far on the science fiction or too far to the spiritual, but I think it hits a nice balance. That combined with some amazing effects, and a strong performance by Cage make Knowing the surprise film of the season so far.

7.5/10

Another day, another 'Expendables' post

Sorry guys, I feel like I've only done The Expendables posts for the last month. What can I say, there's not much other news out there. Anyway, I came across this little tidbit right from Sylvester at the 'StalloneZone', seems he tried to get Kurt Russell to join the movie but was less than successful. Ehh, this doesn't bother me one bit. Yeah I love Kurt Russell and he was great in many action movies..I mean the guy is Snake Plissken for God's sake. However I never put him in the circle of the 'Testostorone Team' of the 80's, even though he did do Tango and Cash with Stallone. The most interesting part of this whole thing is how douchbaggy Russell apparently was when asked to join the movie by, what I would assume to be, an old buddy. Here's the post from Stallone:

I know that many people on the site have asked for Kurt Russell. I asked for him too. Actually, I was taken aback when asked to put the request in a letter and send it to his agent. Subsequently, I was called back by the agent several days later after refusing to send a letter and he said Kurt Russell is not interested in ‘ensemble acting’ at this time.

So, People, I came, I saw, I failed.

Best,
Sly

Really? Kurt, the last big thing you did was Death Proof. You're gonna let your possibly last big role be Stuntman Mike? Even if it is an "ensemble acting" gig it's a hell of an ensemble and an event of a film.

Deadpool spin-off rumors abound!

Comicbookmovie has some potential spoilers on exactly how the X-men Origins: Wolverine film could possibly tie-in to the proposed Deadpool spinoff film starring Ryan Reynolds as the wise cracking Merc with a Mouth. If you're not interested in having some of the upcoming film possibly spoiled, you might want to quit now. I would also suggest you not click on the link supplied above. That would be counter productive for you. So below the pic is the rumored conclusion that leads to the Deadpool film...



-Deadpool is indeed Weapon XI. He'd be the scarred looking figure displaying multiple powers in the TV spots and trailers. After a battle with both Wolverine and Sabretooth, a decapitated Deadpool is sent down a nuke reactor, where he is rescued by a Stryker scientist. He will then be "rebuilt" in the Weapon X workshop, leading into the new film to be released sometime in 2011.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that this film never gets made. That is my bold prediction, based off the fact that:

1. Watchmen's perceived poor performance is going to reflect poorly on Wolverine, causing the film to do less business than it would have initially. I think people are starting to tire of superhero films, and only the big name characters are going to be getting major film projects for awhile.

2. Deadpool is a relatively obscure character. Yes, he's my favorite comic book character, but he's an unknown quantity to most folks. And, again, with Watchmen doing not doing the expected dollars it's going to be awhile before anybody takes a real chance on smaller name heroes.

3. X-men Origins: Wolverine is NOT going to portray Deadpool well, and thus he will not be the breakout character they hope him to be. Ryan Reynolds himself sounds skeptical about what's been done to Deadpool in the film. He says:

“That, I would say, is Deadpool, yeah… When I’m in the scarred makeup too, and you’ll see closer shots obviously in the film, and it’s hard to even tell that’s me, but you can tell. You’ve just got to find a better shot.”

The images we've seen of Deadpool in the film and the action figure, with his violet pants and adamantium claws are not who Deadpool is. I'm not saying they have to be 100% faithful to the comic book version, but it is that version that has made Deadpool such a fan favorite, so why fuck with the formula?

Expendables casting drama! 50 out...who takes his place?

I'm sorry to anyone that has no interest in this film, as we've been following it with much interest. You know what, I'm not sorry...you should be interested, this movie is gonna be insane. Anyway, following the news last week that Forest Whitaker was being replaced by Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson. I didn't think this was a bad thing, if 50's gonna survive anywhere in film it's gonna be in the action genre. On the tail of that news is the news that Mr. Cent is now OUT of the project, so who's in his place? Terry Crews, thats who! I actually LOVE this news, ever since I saw Terry in such films as Friday After Next, White Chicks, and the supremely underrated Idiocracy as President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. He always seems to play the guy that is unbelivably menacing but turns out to be incredibly goofy. He's got the physique and look that guys like Carl Weathers had in the 80's and since that's what they are going for here I think he'll fit right in. What do you guys think of this news? Upgrade or Downgrade?

Top Shelf at the Box Office for March 23rd!

Ok, so I was wrong. So sue me. This is why I'm not a box office analyst. I don't get paid to predict how movies are gonna do, although that job does sound pretty damn sweet! Not quite as cool as my dream to actually own my own movie theater, but still pretty cool.

1. Knowing- $24.8M

Nicolas Cage proves me wrong again. His sci-fi flick about the coming apocalypse kicked every other film's arse this week, and makes the ninth #1 film he's had since 1997. Pretty impressive. Perhaps I'm wrong in thinking that Cage's best days as a box office star are behind him. This week certainly wasn't lacking in big name competition, and Cage managed to stand triumphant over all of them. With his role in the upcoming superhero flick Kick Ass on the way,Cage might be looking at his tenth #1 film in 12 years.

2. I Love You, Man- $18M

I actually thought this would be #1, just because comedies such as this have been so dominant of late. Still, this is a good start for yet another one of those Apatow-type films, although this one lacking in any real big name support. Don't get me wrong, I love Paul Rudd as much as anyone but superstar he is not. I predict this one will have far more staying power on the charts than Knowing will. Call it a hunch.

3. Duplicity- $14.4M

So what does this piddling $14M dollar opening mean for Julia Roberts perceived star power? Probably not much, although I find it interesting that movies boasting her as a headliner have only been marginally successful as of late. I expected far more from this spy caper, which in my opinion was one of the best films to come out this year so far. I think that this one will hold steady on the charts far longer than Knowing will, mainly because it's too fun of a pairing for everyone to ignore. That and the releases this upcoming week are extremely thin.

4. Race to Witch Mountain- $13M/$44.7M

Last week's top flick tumbles three spots, but still kicked up a respectable $13M. Not bad for a remake of a mostly unseen Disney property from thirty years ago. With Monsters vs. Aliens coming out this week I think most of the "family" demographic will migrate away from this one in droves, so this is likely the last week of double digit numbers.

5. Watchmen- $6.72M/$98.1M

Another week, another $7M. Like I said before, this one will hang around for months thanks to IMAX, so expect the numbers to be like this for a few more weeks. I never predicted that Watchmen would be a $200M blockbuster like some did because the source material is unknown to those who aren't comic book fans. I still believe that at the end of it's run, Watchmen will be considered both a critical and financial success. The question now is whether or not it's enough to maintain Zach Snyder's rep as the patron saint of all comic book adapatations.

6. The Last House on the Left- $5.92M/$24M

7. Taken- $4.1M/$133M

8. Slumdog Millionaire- $2.7M/$137M

9. Madea Goes to Jail- $2.51M/$87.2M

10. Coraline- $2.14M/$72.9M

On another note...

Sunshine Cleaning, the indie comedy starring Amy Adams and Emily Blunt had a per site average of over $11,000. That gives it a higher average than any of the top 10 films, and is comparable to how Little Miss Sunshine performed when that film became the breakout indie hit of that year.

After seven weeks of release, Fanboys has earned a total of $606,000. Not bad for a film that was only released in eight cities initially. The force is strong in this one.

The Punch Drunk Podcast #18

This week on The Punch Drunk Podcast...

1. John and Trav review The Last House on the Left literally moments after seeing it in theaters. With the film fresh in their minds, how will they feel about this Wes Craven classic's remake?

2. John says Race To Witch Mountain never quite gets off the starting block! Plus, reviews of Gomorrah, Echelon Conspiracy, and Miss March!

3. John and Trav are the only two people anxiously awaiting Punisher War Zone on DVD! Plus, news on Iron Man 2....white boy Jake Gyllenhall as The Prince of Persia...and a Hard Boiled sequel on the way?

4. A listener question sends Trav on yet another tangent about Tyler Perry and his credibility(or lack thereof) as a filmmaker.

We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(or two). You can find the Punch Drunk Podcast on Itunes, Podomatic, or any of the finer podcast directories. Or you can subscribe directly by clicking right......here.

Sorority Row Trailer

Well, we have officially moved away from remaking great Japanese horror flicks to only remaking crappy 80's slasher (which I say with love as I loved all of the source material). With a cast of bevied D-listers and Princess Leia this flick looks to remake the early 80's The House on Sorority Row. There's sure to be some eye candy but this is more than likely to be a throwaway flick that should probably be relegated only to the Netflix queue.

Punisher War Zone DVD Give-A-Way Contest!

Just a heads up, Comic Book Resources is holding a contest to win a free copy of the two-disc special edition of Punisher War Zone. Yeah, Punisher. Y'know that movie that you people so callously ignored last year? Well, now's your chance to see it for free and hopefully learn from your mistakes. Maybe next time you'll listen to us! You can submit your entry by clicking right......here!

From JTK to GL: Chris Pine to play Green Lantern

IESB and Latino Review are reporting that Chris Pine, who is already set to play James T. Kirk in the new Star Trek reboot, has been offered the lead role in Warner Bros. upcoming Green Lantern film. He would be taking on the role of Hal Jordan, without doubt the most well known ringbearer and one of the DC Comics most iconic heroes.

I'm kinda diggin' this selection if this pans out. Although Jordan is a man in his 30's, Pine seems to occupy a middle ground where he could appeal to both new and older fans. I still think ultimately he would be a better fit for Kyle Rayner, the GL who replaced Hal Jordan for awhile, but there's no way in hell they'd do a Green Lantern film without Hal.

'Year One' trailer with Jack Black and Micheal Cera

'Year One' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

Here's the new trailer for the Micheal Cera and Jack Black "road trip" movie Year One. I dunno, from the trailer at least it appears the Cera's schtick will officially become old. Jack Black on the other hand...well his schtick has been old for quite some time now. That being said I don't know how great this movie can be. I'm hoping that the writing in the flick boosts both actors and makes them more tolerable as they are both guys I like, I just think they're wearing out their time in the funny zone.

New Wolverine TV Spot highlights supporting cast

Here's the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine TV Spot. It gives you a nice individual look at all of the supporting team. All that is, except for Deadpool aka Wade Wilson aka Ryan Reynolds character. Now all the spoilery stuff I've read about this flick says that he will play a MAJOR role, so why the leave out? Are they trying to detract from his importance to keep us suprised?

The To-Do List for March 20th

This week promises to be a knock down drag out competition for my(and your) attentions, as no less than three big name flicks and one eagerly anticipated indie hit theaters.






Analysts are already predicting that Nic Cage's sci-fi flick, Knowing, will be the top dawg at the box office, and I frankly don't understand why. First of all, we've seen this territory mined recently in the Jim Carrey bomb, The Number 23. Plus, Nic Cage hasn't exactly been reaping huge financial rewards in any of his flicks lately. Ghost Rider? Next? Bangkok Dangerous? The Wicker Man? Box Office poison is more like it, and considering that neither he nor the director have done much in the way of press for this film, my prediction is that it bombs. Majorly. Mark me down for a 5th place finish on this one. But I will be seeing it anyway because, well, I'm a whore for movies. That and Nic Cage makes some of the most unintentionally comical flicks ever.
I got a chance to see Duplicity on Monday, and it's definitely worth checking out(my review is right here). Starring two of the biggest stars in the business, Julia Roberts and Clive Owen at the top of their games, this is by far the most fun spy movie I've seen in at least a few years. In fact, I'll be checking this film out again tomorrow with the Alexandria Movie Meetup group, so if you're interested in that hit me up!





I Love You, Man is another one of those Apatow-lite comedies that are always rather hit 'n miss with me. It stars Jason Segal who was great in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and one of my favorites, Paul Rudd. Despite that, I have some serious misgivings about this one. The "quotable" posters I've seen are extremely lame, and it looks like a gimmick to distract from the distinct lack of actual laughs that the trailer produced. And let's not forget that for as good as Paul Rudd is, this is still the same guy who just last year did Over Her Dead Body and in 2007 gave us I Could Never Be Your Woman, two turd in the punchbowl films if I ever saw them.


The Great Buck Howard is the indie flick on mine and a lot of other people's radars this week. I missed my chance to hit the screening due to my own innate laziness. Starring John Malkovich and Tom Hank's son Colin, it's the story of a law school student who becomes the assistant to an aging entertainer who doesn't realize that the times have passed him by. Looks like a perfect film for the spring season, and a nice change of pace from the usual dreck that comes out around this time of year. A lot of people are expecting Sunshine Cleaning to be the indie darling of this year, but I'm putting my money on this one. Fortunately for us, it's playing at two spots in the area: Landmark E Street Cinema and the Cinema Arts Theater are both showing this, so there's no excuse not to see it.


I also want to throw out there that I saw a screening of Alien Trespass on Wednesday. A small budget, 1950's style sci-fi flick starring Eric McCormack(Will & Grace, or the classic Free Enterprise), it's the story of a cop from another planet who crash lands on Earth in order to catch an escaped creature that could kill us all. It's cheesy, campy fun if you're into that sort of thing. There's another screening for it on Monday, so if you have a chance and are in the DC area, give it a shot! You can find out more at their website, http://www.alientrespass.com/!

More Expendables news...right from Sly

Thanks to AICN.com for posting this information. Apparently Forest Whitaker has been replaced by Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. Apparently some people are upset about this but I'm thinking if 50 is going to make his stamp anywhere in the movie world it would be in action flicks, plus Whitaker isn't really in fighting shape. Did anyone take him seriously as a Samurai in Ghost Dog. We also get some character names and clarifications, check the below letter from Sly to Harry of AICN for more.

Dear Harry,

Below is a letter that I sent to the Stallone Zone that I had also wanted to
send to you because I have the same loyalty to your site as well. Anyway, it
might temper preconceived opinions.

Thank you and best,
Sly

P.S. Also, for clarification:
Hale Caesar is Curtis Jackson
Toll Road (new character) is Randy Couture
Monroe is Eric Roberts
Tool (an ex-Expendable) is Mickey Rourke
Bao is Jet Li
Lee Christmas is Jason Statham
Lacy is Charisma Carpenter
Sandra is Giselle Itie (famous Brazilian actress)
And
Barney 'the schizo' Ross is Yours Truly.

P.S.S. By the way, there's enough testosterone and ego in this film to float
a large continent covered in elephants, but I'm enjoying it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Craig,

I appreciate the incredible amount of work you've done on my behalf. Please
tell the loyal followers to be positive not negative in their feedback. I am
not self-destructive. The anger of the casting of 50 Cent is understandable,
but not fair. A player is only as good as his coach. If a man can
communicate in one medium, he can communicate in another if his strengths
are brought out and he has the support of well-wishers. So, trust me, the
change of Forest Whitaker to 50 Cent AKA Curtis Jackson is a good one. No
one thought Dolph Lundgren was a good choice for ROCKY or Mr. T. Carl
Weathers was an afterthought when Ken Naughton fell out. The same with Talia
Shire and Richard Crenna, who was known as a comedic actor, not a serious
one.

Nobody wanted Eric Roberts over Ben Kingsley, but I believe it's a vastly
improved casting. The point is, you either believe in me and the project,
setting your personal feelings aside, or you take a darker approach, which
really serves no purpose since your insight and suggestions and overall
enthusiasm are a great thrill for me to behold everyday I sign on.

Signing off -

Your friend,
Sly

I really love Sly's connecting with sites like aint it cool and not because he's promoting his brand but because he actually seems genuine in the fact that he wants to connect with his fans. He also seems to be truly passionate about the things he does. I suppose it was because of his roles...Rocky, John Rambo, etc. but up until a few years ago I always took Sly for a meathead type. Really he seems quite the opposite, I mean the dude did win an Oscar for Rocky which he wrote. Also of note is the hillarious note that this movie has enough testostorone to float an island of elephants, haha.

UPDATE: Just got word that a release date of April 23rd, 2010 has been announced. So a little more than a year to go!

Duplicity

Tony Gilroy has built a career writing and directing films involving government and corporate espionage, whether it be in the courtroom, or in a backroom, or on the mean streets themselves. He wrote all three Bourne films, and directed the George Clooney starring Michael Clayton, which was nominated for Oscar in '07. But rarely has the spy game been quite this much fun, or this sexy! Let's face it, Clive Owen has the market cornered on cool, even moreso than the usual suspects like Brad Pitt and Clooney, both of whom are frequent Roberts co-stars.

As a team, Clive and Julia showed their impeccable chemistry in the blackest of blackhearted films, 2004's Closer. Here, they play a pair of corporate spies with a checkered and deep romantic past. Both former government agents, she of the CIA and he of MI6, the two decide to pool their resources to pull a Yojimbo, playing both sides of a bitter rivalry between two giant corporations racing to finish a product that promises untold riches. The two warring CEOs played by the pitch perfect Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson, form an interesting contrast to the two leads, as they are as square, and stiff and self-absorbed as humanly possible. The film kicks off with a hilarious slow motion battle royale between the two cushy stuffed shirts that closely resembles the limp wristed "slugfests" you'd find in an episode of The Real World.

The two agents, Claire and Ray, find that the dirty games of corporate greed and excess might not be quite as easy as they anticipated, and perhaps is even far more seedy than their previous work. What doesn't help in the matter is their blossoming love for each other, which only makes matters more complicated when both are attempting to stay one double-cross ahead of the other. The question soon becomes not just whether or not they can get away with one of the largest scams in history, but whether or not they can do it and keep their relationship intact.

Similarly to their previous pairing in Closer, both Roberts and Owen play a couple locked in a perpetual game of one-upmanship. Unlike that toxic relationship, here both are longtime loners, which is an emotional necessity for their line of work. The idea of trusting anyone is anathema, even when they run into perhaps the one person on the planet who understands them completely. They toy with each other's emotions, sometimes callously but often playfully, in a way that reminds me somewhat of another breezy romance, Out of Sight.

Gilroy, who also wrote the script, doesn't waste time getting bogged down in too many details. The product everyone is fighting for remains a mystery until practically the final leg of the film. And while it's discovery raises the stakes a little bit, it doesn't change the direction of the film. Gilroy is much more focused on characterizing these shady, conflicted characters. Every supporting bit character works on some level, from the members of Ray's squad who idolize him for being the "swinging dick" that he is. But my personal favorite Carrie Preston(from HBO's True Blood), who plays Barbara, a poor low level exec in the travel department who so eagerly falls for Ray's charms and finds herself getting pinned down in more ways than one.

I was a little worried about Gilroy's ability to handle a film that so carefully needed to toe the line between suspense and comedy, but I needn't have worried. There's no attempt to make the movie too hip for it's own good, a lesson Steven Soderbergh could've learned with the Oceans films. All it takes to make an effortlessly cool movie is a pair of stairs as electrifying and, well, effortlessly cool as Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. Here's hoping we get to see more of these two together in the future.

8/10

Tom Cruise Talks MI: 4!?

Maybe the fourth time will be the charm. Noted couch-jumper Tom Cruise was appearing on a popular Japanese talk show to promote...something, and let a juicy nuggget slip. When asked about the prospect of a fourth installment of the Mission Impossible franchise, he let loose that he had already begun work on the story, and was trying to figure out how to stage a major action scene in Tokyo.

I was a big fan of the original Mission Impossible flick, but quickly soured on the next two installments. They felt like big budget gimmicks that were sorely in need of a script editor. Not sure who'll be directing this next film but let's hope it's someone who knows how to make solid, grounded spy flicks. Paul Greengrass, maybe?

Where the Wild Things Are poster

Here's a new poster from the Spike Jonez children's book adaptation Where the Wild Things Are. I vaguely remember the story as a kid, and know that it's pretty much staple reading for th 4-7 year old set. I gotta say that I'll be really impressed if they are using costumed characters for this flick as opposed to CGI, it looks as if they are in the poster so we shall see.

On the set of The Book of Eli

Entertainment Tonight, which has lately become relevant to me again, has an on the set look at The Book of Eli starring Denzel Washington. The film is set in an apocalyptic future where only small pockets of human survivors remain years after the sun apparently exploded. The film also stars Jennifer Beals(Flashdance, The L Word), Mila Kunis(a favorite here), and Gary Oldman. Directed by The Hughes Brothers(Menace II Society), the film marks their first major big screen effort since 2001's From Hell.

I've heard precious little about this, but consider my curiosity piqued. I can scarcely think of a better combination than Washington, Oldman, and the Hughes Brothers. I've been waiting for them to do another film for eight years now, after the disaster that was From Hell. Still, after Menace II Society and Dead Presidents, I've always looked upon them as arguably the best African-American directors in the industry, and respected their desire to branch out into other types of films. The Book of Eli looks like it will further establish them as true directors of cinema, and not just directors who only look to make one type of film.

Anyway, check out the preview below...

Miss March, Gomorra, Last House on the Left

Three very different flicks occupied my time last week, all of them making an impression in very different ways. But since I've left them dangle a little bit, I've only got time for three short reviews rather than giving them each the attention they deserve. I did see Duplicity last night, but I want to do a full review of that one later.

Miss March



Every movie should have Craig Robinson as a co-star. Well, lemme take that back. I saw him in D-War, and that was not a pleasant experience. Still, the funnyman from The Office and practically every top notch comedy of the last three years is as always the scene stealer in this roadtrip sex comedy. Robinson plays gold grille wearin', pimped out rapper named Horsedick.mpeg. I'm not kidding. His hit single, "I'm a Fuck a White Bitch"(my new theme song, replacing Mighty Casey's "White Girls") plays numerous times throughout and is always good for a laugh.

Robinson's not the only thing that makes this a better than expected comedy. The story involves devout virgin, Eugene, and his girlfriend Cindi. Even though they've sworn to remain pure, she convinces him to make love to her on prom night. But before the geeky, wishy washy Eugene makes it upstairs for a night of coital bliss, he gets drunk and stumbles down a flight of stairs and is knocked into a four year long coma. A swift Louisville Slugger to the face, at the hands of his oversexed and only marginally cooler buddy Tucker, awakens Eugene to his new reality. His girlfriend is now a Playboy Playmate, his father has abandoned him...oh, and he no longer has bowel control thanks to years of atrophy. Awesome. The two decide to take a road trip to the Playboy Mansion, to find out whether or not Cindi maintained her vow of chastity and maybe reignite their relationship.

As is bound to happen, their journey never quite goes as expected, as the two are harassed by a Tucker's crazed epileptic girlfriend and her deranged fireman brother. Perhaps the highlight of the film is a manic car chase sequence involving a team of firefighters hurling axes and using the firehose as a deadly weapon. But the real comedy comes from Robinson, especially when he temporarily drops the Horsedick persona and let's his true emotions loose, only to snap back into character at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, the film falls flat when the two hit their destination. Not even a mansion full of hot playmates can keep the final leg of the film from dragging, as we get lame words of wisom from Heff himself and a resolution that's all too tidy for my liking. Still, Miss March is a fun comedy that from the looks of things will go virtually unseen by anybody until it hits DVD in a month or two.

6/10(it's really a 5.5 but I don't believe in decimals. They're undemocratic.)

Gomorra




You wanna know just how real Gomorra is? Roberto Saviano, who wrote the novel about the Camorrah crime syndicate based out of Naples, is on a hitlist and has been in hiding for years now. There are no Tony Sopranos or Paulie Walnuts' in this film. It's about the true, debilitating effects that the mafia has on a people. It exposes the far reaching tentacles that have perpetrated every avenue of society, every business. Utilizing a splintered storytelling technique similar to Babel or Amorres Peros(or Crash if you like that piece of crap), Gomorrah tells multiple stories that shed light on a different aspect that these organizations have their control over. There's the 13 year old boy who aims to join the organization, regardless of the close friends and family of his that it might hurt. There's the expert who handles illegal waste dumping. The tailor who moonlights by helping out Chinese factories who are in direct competition with mob owned factories. But the best story of the bunch involve two wannabe gangsters named Marco and Ciro.

They are best friends who want to be the top dog's in their town. They idolize Tony Montana, and re-enact scenes from Scarface, pretending to gun down their imaginary foes. One day, they decide to take real action and steal a bunch of weapons and cash from the mob. This leads the two boys down a twisted downward spiral of violence and death, as the boys find out what being a true gangster really entails.

The best thing about Gomorra is that it feels almost documentary like in it's presentation. We follow these poor people through every single hardship, and for the most part the mob members are rarely seen until it's absolutely necessary. Like you'd expect from reality, if you're seeing these men in person then it's probably already too late for you. In fact, none of the mob members really have any distinct personalities or even names for the most part. They are all part of the same over-arching problem, so it doesn't really matter who they are as individuals. Gomorra is the best movie about the mafia to come out since Goodfellas, and in some ways even surpasses that classic. It's unflinching in it's realism, and manages to not glorify the lifestyle nor totally forgive the people who willingly allow themselves to be ensnared by it. 8/10

Last House on the Left



Maybe it's just me, but these movies just don't do much for me anymore. Maybe I've seen too many of 'em. Wolf Creek probably being the most recent, a film which left me kinda disgusted and uncertain about whether I wanted to finish watching it or not. Or maybe I'm tired of the formula that seems to have been established and just want something different. Last House is a remake of the 1973 Wes Craven film of the same name, about a family of murderous convicts on the run from the police. They kidnap two teenage girls so innocent looking they might as well have had lollipops and pigtails. They proceed to brutalize the two girls, coldly murdering one and raping and shooting the other. The family then makes their way to a house(It's on the left!!), unaware that the two people within are the parents of the girl they just shot. Upon finding out, the parents do whatever it takes to exact some measure of vengeance against their daughter's attackers.

I think when a film's sole purpose is to show disturbing brutality, then it darn well better not pull back at any point. One of Last House's major flaws is that early on, when it comes to the two cheery little minxes, they pull no punches and we get some really disgusting, skincrawling violence perpetrated against them. But later, when requirements of plot take hold, these self same killers are extremely lenient and downright ineffective against people who appear as if they would have trouble ripping through a soaked paper bag, much less fighting off skilled murderers. And while I definitely got some good laughs out of how inept everyone suddenly became, it pissed me off more. The heroes needed to win, so logic be damned!

Maybe it's because I saw the far superior Funny Games last year, which so completely deconstructed these types of films and made something totally unique and far more terrifying than a movie like this could ever hope to be. It played with your expectations, fiddled with your own desires for vengeance, and basically batted your emotions around like a cat with a playtoy. No more films like Last House for me, I think.

5/10

Top Shelf at the Box Office!

You know it's a quiet week when a remake of a relatively unknown Disney flick from the 1970's takes the top spot. And it stars a former wrestler. No, it's not Rowdy Roddy Piper this time.

1. Race to Witch Mountain-$25M/$25M

Well, Disney must love The Rock right about now. This is the second time he's come through for them, the first time being in the stil as yet unseen by me film, The Gameplan, which hauled in over $90M a couple of years ago. Apparently even mostly negative reviews didn't stop kids from dragging their parents, although Disney is saying is that nearly 20% of the audience were unaccompanied adults. No doubt these were the same people who have paid to see John Cena in The Marine, Kane in See No Evil, and Steve Austin in The Condemned and would no doubt pay to see Koko B. Ware in a movie about carrier pidgeons. Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea...

2. Watchmen-$18.1M/$86M

Let the knife throwing begin! Yes, Watchmen dropped nearly 70% to bring it's total two week total to $86M, and for the second week in a row people are trying to pass this off as a complete denouncement of the film's merits. Well, actually that dropoff is in line for pratically every other major franchise release over the last few years. And unlike some of those films, Watchmen is sure to have a long life through IMAX. While it may struggle to surpass it's $150M estimated budget here in the States, worldwide grosses have been phenomenal.

3. The Last House on the Left-$14.7M
Not a bad opening for a remake of a relatively unknown horror film from over 30 years ago. You can't expect this to match up to the $40M opening weekend of Friday the 13th, which is a much more recognizable series sporting a more stylized presentation.

4. Taken-$6.65M/$127M

5. Madea Goes to Jail-$5.13M/$83.2M

T.P.(how appropriate!) hauls in another boatload of cash from unsuspecting people thinking they are going to see something of value. Instead what they get is the black Mrs. Doubtfire.

6. Slumdog Millionaire-$5.03M/$133M

Danny Boyle's rags to riches classic just pushed it's way into the top 10 highest grossing Best Picture winners. Couldn't have happened to a better film!

7. Paul Blart: Mall Cop-$3.1M/$138M

8. He's Just Not That Into You-$2.9M/$89M

9. Coraline-$2.65M/$69.1M

10. Miss March-$2.35M
A woeful start(and likely finish) to the poorly received, poorly marketed sex comedy featuring the comedy troupe, The Whitest Kids You Know. It's been a rough couple of years financially for movies like this(see also: Sex Drive), which leads me to wonder what the future holds for comedies that don't have the name "Apatow" attatched to them. Surely, Miss March could've done a better job promoting another scene stealing turn by Craig Robinson, rather than two relatively unknown leads.

First Look at Masked Destro?

UPDATE: Looks like the pic was real we just got told by Paramount Pictures to remove the image. Don't know how that fares for the flick, hope the do some more work on the CGI before the films release.


Well a new picture is circulating the web that I hope is completely false. The above picture is apparently our first look at Destro from the new GIJoe: The Rise of Cobra with his mask on. Man that looks like absolute shite! That's some early 90's CGI looking crap...like they just took the work done on Jim Carrey's The Mask and colored it gray. I don't know why they would go CGI on something like this that seems so obviously real world, but what do I know. I do hope however that this is just a test shot, or lo-res, or maybe just fake entirely. In any event I thought I should pass this on.


Just as a reference here is an image of the action figure that was found overseas, so maybe it's not fake..just pray that it's not the final product.

'Drag Me to Hell' Trailer

Here's a trailer for Sam Rami's return to horror Drag Me to Hell. Look's pretty creepy to me, but not too much of a departure from the Japanese remakes we've been seeing in the last decade. That's the thing about horror movies though, the trailer's are NEVER a good indicator of how the movie will be. So hopefully we'll get a taste of that Evil Dead goodness..and I'm sure we'll have a sequel. Listen for the line "You can pass the curse to others".

New in Theaters This Week

First up we have Race to Witch Mountain, dreadful if you ask me but if you have kids and are looking for an afternoon they may enjoy the matinee. It's got action, aliens, and The Rock, it just didnt put the pieces together well enough. Unfortunatley this one will probably take the top spot for the weekend knocking Watchmen down a notch or two.



Next is the horror remake Last House on the Left. I can tell you the original was disturbing and disgusting. I haven't seen this one yet so I can't speak to it's merits but I'm hearing that it maintains the level of brutality that the original was famous for. If you're looking for a cheap scare and some outright gore porn then this is your pick for the weekend.



On a lighter note we have Miss March. The story of a young man who wakes up from a coma to find that his high school sweetheart is now a playboy playmate. Seeing as how he never sealed the deal with her, he and a friend go on a journey to the Playboy mansion to show up and rock her world...sounds plausible...right? This one is sure to have some good if not cheap laughs and will be mostly for the juvenile male crowd. This flick also earns the distinction of winning this weeks "Surefire Flop" award.

Expendables 3:16 says Stone Cold is in!

Another day, another The Expendables casting note. The Texas Rattlesnake himself, Stone Cold Steve Austin, has joined the ever increasing roster of testostorone laden actors. With this addition it's obvious they are not going for acting cred, as Austin's only real film credit is the awful if not slightly fun The Condemned. I'm getting to the point that I'm not even suprised or blown away by casting news for this flick. I'm actually begining to wonder if this is all just a big Punk'd skit from Sly. With shooting scheduled to start next month I suppose we will find out soon. C'Mon Bolo Yeung casting news!!!

Review: Race to Witch Mountain

In a nutshell Race to Witch Mountain is the story of Jack Bruno, a Las Vegas taxi driver who happens into two stranded extra terrestrials. The two adolescent ET’s, who look creepily like the kids from Village of the Damned, need to get back to their spaceship to get home to convince their planet not to invade ours. Throw in friendly astrophysicist Dr. Friedman, a large crew of government agents trying to stop and capture the kids, and mix in one alien assassin and you have the latest family friendly Disney action picture.

Let’s focus on the good shall we. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is in his usual charismatic form here, and apart from some cheesy moments he delivers a solid performance. I can’t tell whether or not he made a good choice switching to family friendly comedies over action flicks so soon…it’s like if Ahhnold did Kindergarten Cop before he ever got to Commando. The story on a whole is pretty solid and at times delivers some good laughs and tension when need be. The alien assassin sent to terminate the kids, the Siphon, is pretty awesome in design and looks like a cross between the Alien, the Predator, and something from Resident Evil. Also of note is a cameo by Garry Marshall as UFO expert Dr. Harlan.

On the downside of this one first and foremost is the special effects. I’m amazed and surprised by the lack of sophistication here. The effects resemble something you would see on a ride in Disney World, not in a Disney movie. One scene in particular stands out, when the main characters are standing on what is supposed to be a bridge to the spaceship made out of light, it looks so badly superimposed that the only comparison I can think of is the ‘Make Your Own Music Video’ booths you see at theme parks. Past the effects the story is just subpar, I will never understand how Disney creates these amazingly fleshed out stories for their animated faire, but when it comes to live action they phone it in for the most part. They even go so far as to use quick out of place conversations to explain plot holes and extreme coincidences. I know, it’s a kid’s movie not Citizen Kane, but when it comes to Disney I don’t think they can use that excuse as they have shown in the past that they have the ability to produce great product. They just don’t always choose to when they already have something to fill the theater seats aka The Rock, (Yeah I know, Dwayne Johnson, but you’ll always be The Rock to me big guy). I could go on about the problems with the execution of the story, (pun intended), but let’s stay to the point. The last big problem I had with the flick was the kid’s dialogue. Now, the writer’s run into a problem…they don’t look like aliens, how do we make them seem otherworldly? I know! Let’s give them an odd speech pattern and have them say people’s full name every time they address them. This wouldv’e been fine for the first ten minutes of interaction but throughout the movie the little girl would consistently say “We must go here Jack Bruno”. Trust me, it get’s annoying.

Race to Witch Mountain was, to me, a disappointment. Admittedly I’m a bit out of their demographic, but I do enjoy children’s movies quite a bit when they’re done right. They can be the best innocent fun out when they succeed. This flick, however, did not. It felt a lot more like a made for TV movie than a big budget adventure flick. If you have kids and have already seen Coraline then maybe this one is for you, otherwise I would steer clear at least until DVD.

4/10

Marvel Studios set to Dominate the Box Office

Marvel has released an updated schedule for it's upcoming superhero films, and as it stands right now they are looking pretty friggin' dominant. The updated schedule sets Marvel on a firm path to the launch of the highly anticipated The Avengers film, which will combine heroes from a number of established Marvel franchises. Also, Sony Pictures has announced a release date for the upcoming Spider-Man 4 film, Marvel's most iconic character and highest grossing franchise to date.

Iron Man 2 maintains it's established release date of May 7th, 2010.

On May 6th, 2011 Spider-Man 4 hits theaters. No details on what the storyline will entail this time around. The Spidey franchise has grossed over $2 billion worldwide so far.

The Thor film, about the Norse god of thunder, strikes theaters on June 17th, 2011, a mere month after the Spidey film, giving Marvel a brutal one-two punch.

And if that's not enough, The First Avenger: Captain America slings it's shield only a month later, giving Marvel three consecutive months of major exposure and no doubt hundreds of millions in box office.

As of now, The Avengers film is set to release a year later on May 4th, 2012.

I'm actually surprised Marvel hasn't spaced this out a bit more. Even though there's little doubt that all of these films will succeed commercially, there is some risk of these movies cannibalizing one another a little bit. It does, however, leave Warner Bros. little room to position itself. Trying to fit in a proposed Green Lantern film in the midst of all this must seem daunting. Marvel's universe is established, while DC is basically trying to start from scratch.

It's Official! Scarjo and Rourke in Iron Man Sequel

Just like the title says, Scarlett Johanson and Mickey Rourke have officially signed on to play the Black Widow and an unknown Russian villain respectively. For Johanson, this is her third comic book film with Ghost World and The Spirit already under her belt. Rourke, ofcourse, had a scene stealing turn in Robert Rodriguez's Sin City.

So this is good news. I like Johanson for the part, and unlike some others think her turn as the sexy, sultry Silken Floss makes her more prepared for the role. Rourke, I still don't quite buy as the Crimson Dynamo, but I'm sure whatever role he plays he'll do the job perfectly. Good work, Marvel.

'Expendables' adds some sauce to the mix

I was never a big 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' or 'Angel' fan, but I have ALWAYS been a fan of Charisma Carpenter. Something about her halfway exotic look that just captivated me, not to mention the perfect body. So, she was a 90's staple with whom I was enamored (albeit in a different way), why should I be suprised that she has signed on to The Expendables. Unfortunatley Cinematical is reporting that she will play Jason Statham's girlfriend, which disappoints me a bit. She really seems the kind of beautiful woman that could hold her own in a gun fight, or at least be made to look like she could. Here's hoping she's more that just eye candy..though I suppose that wouldnt be all bad...camo bikini and machine gun anyone?

Echelon Conspiracy

As far as movies about "Big Brother" watching over us, you can do worse than Echelon Conspiracy. It is basically a poor man's Eagle Eye, without that film's star power, bloated budget, or overall sleekness. But it tries to make up for those deficiencies with an added cheese factor and a couple of really fun performances. Just don't look too deep into this thing, for cracks lie within.

Shane West plays Max Peterson, an American engineer working in Bangkok. Out of the clear blue sky, he receives a mysterious package with a slick looking cell phone inside. The phone promptly begins giving him get rich quick tips that immediately pay off, such as "Play slot #13" which instantly hits the jackspot. This draws the suspicion of casino security chief, John Reed(Ed Burns), who's boss(Jonathan Pryce) demands he figure out a way to stop it. Meanwhile, the FBI has just caught wind of the cellphone's capability, and begins it's pursuit of Max. Max soon finds himself in the midst of a global conspiracy centered around the world spanning intelligence gathering network known as ECHELON.

Echelon at times seems confused in what it's main purpose is. Does it want to be a full on action film in the vein of Eagle Eye? Or is it trying to impart some words of wisdom in regards to our own government spying programs? It tries to have it both ways sometimes, and succeeds completely in neither because of it. The main focus for a good part of the film is Max being pulled in multiple different directions by a ever growing group of agencies trying to secure the cell phone. And then there's also the question of who exactly is sending these texts to him in the first place. But then there are scenes with Martin Sheen as Raymond Burke, head of the FBI and a huge proponent of the Echelon program. He clearly represents the old guard, the Bush era croney who believes that civil rights need to be trampled in order to maintain any sense of national security. In fact, he has a picture of ol' Bushie hanging over his desk. Actually, the entire film feels like it should've come out a couple of years ago when this was a really hot topic. Coming out now, in this new day and age, it feels sorta dated.

The problem with this film not really deciding on what it wants to be, is that when it slows down enough to start trying to impart words of wisdom, it comes across about as subtle as a swift kick to the nads. The rest of the film's dialogue is delightfully cheesy, so all this armchair philosophy stuff just does not work. Also, it left the writers in somewhat of a bind at the conclusion, which is completely ripped off from Wargames, I might add. It seemed as if they didn't want to get too technical in figuring out a solution to their mess, so what they came up with was something way too simplistic. I won't give it away, but suffice it to say it comes down to man vs. keyboard. Not exactly thrilling stuff.

Surprisingly, I wasn't immediately turned off by Shane West's performance, as is normally the case. I've always found that West has trouble playing cool, always coming off as more of a jerk even when unintended. He walks a pretty fine line here between playing the handsome dude with a slightly geeky side to him, which makes sense considering his occupation. I wish I could say the same thing for Ed Burns, who has about as much charisma as an ironing board. It's been nearly six years since the one time he impressed me, back when he was the cool as ice lead in Confidence, and now I think he's just hangin' on to his career for dear life. He's easily out acted by Ving Rhames of all people, playing his typical tough guy role, with acerbic chip on the shoulder wit. Even though he was good, I still felt he was a bit too serious for a movie of this type. They should've taken their cues from the dialogue for Jonathan Pryce, who plays casino owner Mueller, who's dialogue reminds me of something KLAW from Inspector Gadget might say. He's the type of badguy who makes none too subtle analogies to his henchman about how expendable they are as a way of instilling confidence or something. Pryce hams it up, and even though it's some awful writing I couldn't help but enjoy it.

Basically you're going to get what you want out of Echelon Conspiracy. If you're looking for an intelligent thriller with loads of insight, you're going to be a little disappointed. But if you're looking for a decent, reasonably well acted action-flick then this will be worth a rental in a few weeks.

5/10

Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince of Persia

Not since the days of Blackface has Hollywood worked a white out like this one. While Jakey G doesnt look particularly bad as the title character in the new Prince of Persia movie, he certainly doesn't look Persian, or even remotley middle eastern. Could they not have found anyone who fits the bill to play the part..how about Oded Fehr was he too busy? Ah well, it's not like Hollywood has ever really been to concerned with paying the right respects to the culture or even people from which their story's based. What do you guys think? Am I making moutains out of mole hills here?

Can I Borrow a GL? Common Still to play Green Lantern

One day it'll all make sense. Or not. According to director George Miller in an interview with MTV, rapper Common is still attatched to the role of Green Lantern John Stewart in a Justice League film. This matches up with recent statements made by Common in an interview with Fresh Ink's Blair Butler. Warner Bros. is still planning to develop the other characters before releasing the team film, so it'll be quite some time before shooting actually begins.

Good. That leaves plenty of time for them to change their minds. Look, it's well known that I think Common is overrated, smug, and self important as a rapper, but it's his acting that I despise right now. He's been dreadful in everything, in my humble opinion, even when he's doing nothing but standing in the background it looks as if he's trying terribly hard to look impressive. Why not get someone with some actual acting chops to take the role? Like Chiwetel Ejiofor? Proven actor with plenty of action film experience, and they won't have to waste a single cent having his trailer decked out in earthtones. Think about it, WB.

Hard Boiled Sequel on the way?

If anyone hasn't seen John Woo's 1992 action Masterpiece Hard-Boiled throw it in your netflix queue, it's definatley worth a look. This is the movie where Woo perfected his style of filmmaking, and while the subtitles and/or dubbed voices can be distracting to those who particularly dislike them, it's well worth it. A few years back a sequel was developed in the form of a fun if not standard XBox game called Stranglehold, also worth a look if you haven't tried it yet. It plays like a Hong Kong Max Payne. There is a point to all this, it seems that Lion Rock entertainment, Woo's Production company, is gearing up another chapter of the series. We do not yet know if this will be a sequel to Hard Boiled or a continuation of where Stranglehold left off. The story was solid in both and as long as they get Chow Yun Fat attached I'm happy to plunk down the ten bucks. More on this to come.

Punch Drunk Critic Down!!!

Sorry for the lack of posts over the last two days folks, I've caught whatever strain of flu is making it's way around the DC area and honestly just haven't been up to it. But have no fear there was alot going on in the last two days and I'm gonna try and grab whatever Travis didn't allready get for you.

Tales of the Black Freighter preview!

For Watchmen aficianados, Tales of the Black Freighter was the story within a story about a shipwrecked sailor being haunted by a bunch of zombie like pirates. It's gruesome, gorey, and frankly wouldn't have fit in with the film at all, but as a standalone it looks like it's going to be great! Check out this preview provided by Entertainment Weekly by clicking right HERE!

Vin Diesel Confirms Third Riddick Film on the Way

In an interview with Gamespot to discuss the upcoming Dark Athena video game, Vin Diesel all but confirmed that a third Chronicles of Riddick film is on the way. He said:

"Maybe we're too tight-lipped about the next Chronicles of Riddick film, and I think circa the release of [Dark Athena] that's probably when you'll start hearing more about the next Riddick film. It is underway and I almost think it's a coincidence that we haven't heard anything, that there hasn't been a lot of public stuff on the Riddick movie."

The first two Riddick films grossed a little over $100 million combined in the U.S. The first film, Pitch Black, was a huge success considering it's limited budget and is considered the film that really put Diesel on the map. The follow-up, The Chronicles of Riddick, was a much larger film and as such was considered somewhat of a flop. But the franchise has really lived on through a series of very successful and highly acclaimed video games. It's suspected that the third film will sport a reduced budget much like the first.

I wasn't a fan of Pitch Black, but thought Chronicles was okay. I'd have much preferred a follow-up to Diesel's last sci-fi flick, Babylon AD, which was really good and has loads of sequel potential. But I'm a sucker for anything sci-fi, so I'm kinda looking forward to see how this shapes up.

The Queue: 88 Minutes

In truth, I could probably run down 88 reasons why this movie sucked ass, but it doesn't deserve that level of commitment. It's so bad that it took me two days to watch all 100 or so minutes of this crap, as I needed a thorough mind cleansing at about the halfway mark. So I'll just run down a few reasons and move on to better things.

1. The plot: Forensic psychiatrist Jack Gramm gets a phone call stating that he has 88 minutes to live. Ofcourse the killer then proceeds to try and kill him every five minutes or so, defeating the purpose.

2. Since when do convicted murders, only a couple of hours away from execution, get live interviews on MSNBC? And they take phone calls like it's Larry King or something?

3. Al Pacino's hair looks as if he's been trying to break the Guiness Book of World Records for most consecutive roller coaster rides. Either that, or his hair has become it's own rorshach inkblot test.

4. They give away the killer way too early, with the token "The killer attacked me but I only got wounded" routine. At that point the movie was sunk.

5. Firemen are a laugh-a-minute in this joint. First a firetruck literally barrels through a crowd of people nearly killing as many as they had arrived to save! Then a car explodes a few feet away from them and not a single one of them tries to do anything about it.

6. The topic of Al Pacino's semen getting injected into every hot broad on campus is far too prevalent to not cause some nausea.

7. There's no real sense of urgency. With about 12 minutes left to live, Jack Gramm stops to give his 5 minute origin story about why he is who he is, and at the end I actually knew and cared less.

8. Wasted talent: Al Pacino, Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Amy Brenneman, Ben McKenzie, William Forsythe, Deborah Unger. How can so many reasonably talented actors phone in so many performances? They on the family plan or somethin'?

9. What the fuck? Cookies? There's this really odd scene in the beginning where Gramm tries to offer some FBI agents some milk and cookies. In fact, he's downright insistent on it, and it just comes off as forced and frankly a little strange. But then again, this whole movie is filled with strange, oddly disjointed scenes.

10. Even the tagline fucks it up: "He has 88 Minutes to Solve a Murder. His own!" It's not really a murder if he's around to solve it, is it?

3/10

Next up on the queue: 2008's Frozen River

Fantastic Reboot!

IESB is reporting that the Fantastic Four franchise, which to date has grossed over $620 million worldwide, is set to get a reboot over at Fox Studios. That means NONE of the original cast is returning, nor is Tim Story, who helmed the previous FF films. So no Alba, no Chiklis, and especially no Julian McMahon as Dr. Doom. They want the franchise to go a slightly darker route, but less like The Dark Knight and more like Iron Man.

The first two FF films were disasters in my book, but there's no denying that they made some serious cash. I think they are taking this in the wrong direction if they try to go too gritty, as it doesn't really fit the FF dynamic, which is lighter, more sci-fi in tone. Where they screwed up is in that their villains were awful. Julian McMahon was horrible as Dr. Doom, but what's worse is that they rendered Doom utterly unrecognizable. His plans should have been simpler and more focused. I also think they're making a mistake ditching the actors playing the FF, who for the most part were decent. Only ol' Daddio himself, Michael Chiklis, truly excelled as The Thing. Why get rid of him? He was arguably the one thing that got any sort of critical acclaim whatsoever, other than the computer generated Silver Surfer.

Top Shelf at the B.O.!

Mondays are usually a quiet day. I do the Punch Drunk DVDs and that's generally it. So I thought I'd do something else on Mondays and take a looksie at the Box Office for the previous week.

#1. Watchmen-$55.7M

As expected, Watchmen took the top spot, raking in $55.7 million. Some people are already calling Watchmen a failure because it failed to reach analyst projections of $60 million on the opening weekend. Seriously? It beat out the #2 film, Madea Goes to Jail, by $47 million. The studio is happy. It met their projections. It's the third best March opening of all-time. And let's be honest: This is a film about largely unknown characters with no superstar actors attatched to it. Not to mention it clocks in at nearly 3 hours long. I think this is exactly what they should've expected. I predicted long ago that this film would barely break the $100 million mark for exactly the reason I listed above, and it appears I was way off, and I'm happy for that.

#2. Madea Goes to Jail-$8.8M/$76.5M

The fact that this piece of rehashed junk continues to draw money, to the tune of $76.5 million so far, only goes to show that people will pay to see anything, as long as it's presented to them in the most simpleminded fashion possible. The Perry Franchise has shown remarkable staying power so far, but he's pretty much out of his own material to adapt for the big screen. I'm dying to see what happens when he starts creating work solely for film, and if I'm right that we'll soon be seeing movies such as Slam Dunk Madea and Madea Goes to Africa.

#3. Taken-$7.45M/$118M

#4. Slumdog Millionaire-$6.92M/$125M

No doubt due to RNC Head Michael Steele promising Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal some "Slum love".

#5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop-$$4.2M/$134M

Who wants to bet that Seth Rogen's upcoming mall cop flick does poorly by comparison? America suffering from Rent-A-Pig fatigue.

#6. He's Just Not that Into You-$4.02M/$84.6M

#7. Coraline-$3.31M/$65.7M

#8. Confessions of a Shopaholic-$3.12M/$38.4M

#9. Jonas Brothers-$2.79M/$16.8M
No less than they deserve for stealing valuable 3-D projectors away from Coraline. Still, that's way too much for a concert film about three feux virgins.

#10. Fired Up!-$2.6M/$13.4M

What didn't make the list? Echelon Conspiracy, starring Shane West, Martin Sheen, and Ving Rhames. Pretty sad considering only one other new film of note dropped this week. Whoda thunk Mr. Walk to Remember didn't have no star power?

Review: Watchmen--John's Take

Review: Watchmen


It was known as the un-filmable graphic novel, the one that couldn’t be done…not for lack of trying though. For the last twenty years or so ‘Watchmen’ has been in some form of production. Desperately trying to find the right mix to do justice to the graphic novel that Time magazine called ‘One of the greatest novels of the twentieth century’. I’m glad to report that they did finally find the right guy for the job in Zack Snyder.

The film is set in an alternate 1985 where costumed superheroes are part of society and the US is locked in a nuclear stalemate with the USSR. Nixon has been in office for five terms and the country is in constant fear of nuclear annihilation. Some years before the film’s start congress passed a law banning costumed heroes and while some of the Watchmen still practice their craft, either through government sanctioned vigilantism or in the case of the film’s centerpiece, Rorschach, outright law breaking. When one of their own, The Comedian, is killed Rorschach begins an investigation which, sees his old cohorts out of retirement and seems to unravel a conspiracy to kill off the Watchmen.

Wow, really I don’t know where to start. This movie was simply amazing, and while popular thought is that people who didn’t read the graphic novel or weren’t fans won’t like this flick I have to disagree. I’ll start off with a disclaimer that if you are completely unfamiliar with the characters head on over to Wikipedia and get a quick background as it will help with your understanding of the first hour of the movie. The story is unforgiving, relentless and pulls no punches, Spiderman this is not. The flick is stocked with wall to wall brutal violence, sex, and adult themes, none of which really seem gratuitous and all help to further the story and characters along. Rorschach, who will without a doubt be the fan favorite, is played perfectly by Jackie Earle Haley. Every nuance is on point from the way he walks and moves to the gravelly voice (Take notes Christian Bale). The Comedian is played devilishly well by Jeffery Dean Morgan and comes off perfectly as the son of a bitch that you love to hate. The rest of the Watchmen were well played but the aforementioned two really stand out and keep you engrossed. Now while the trailers will have lead you to believe you are going to see a movie with nonstop action, I have to tell you this is not the case. The film really moves like a murder mystery for the most part with investigation and interrogation but have no fear it is done perfectly and stays interesting. The action scenes are second to none from the unflinching violence of Rorschach and The Comedian, to the finessed martial arts of Nite Owl and The Silk Specter even the world’s smartest man Ozymandis, the last Watchmen to be mentioned, has a quick action beat. Visually the movie is stunning, if there were no story, no action, and no decent characters, you would still have 2+ hours of amazing scenery. This dirty, dingy, slum of 1985 that we see is so detailed and well done that I’m sure it will take multiple viewings to fully take in everything that the CGI wizards had to offer. From Nite Owl’s ship, Archie, to Dr. Manhattan’s fortress on Mars everything fanciful in this movie was done so well you hardly notice the impossibility of it all.

I struggle to give you some negatives, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t. Personally there was nothing about the film that I truly disliked, that being said I am a bit of a geek so I’m not the majority. For those of you out there who had no idea who the Watchmen were prior to the media parade of the last few months here’s what you may not like. Snyder was slavishly faithful to the graphic novel, leaving very little out…this translates to a 2hr 46 min runtime which may seem a bit long for the average moviegoer. The story I will admit can be a bit confusing in the first hour if you have no idea who any of the characters are, again brush up on your Watchmen back story for ten minutes before going to the theater, I guarantee you will enjoy it more. Lastly the makeup used for some of the characters, especially Tricky Dick Nixon was horrendous, although it’s hard to tell if this was intentional or not.

So there’s your very brief review of Watchmen, trust me had I gone into detail on every great thing about this flick you’d be reading a ten page thesis right now instead. Just take my word for it that you NEED to see this film in theaters, if you want to avoid the crowds wait a week or two, but see it. This film takes comic book movies to a completely new level of credibility, farther I think then even The Dark Knight. Is it a better movie than the The Dark Knight? Well, that’s debatable, but personally I think so. The adult theme and tone, not to mention the amazing if not cold ending bring the superhero out of the kid’s room and to the fore front to show us what a gleaming example of great storytelling that can be found in the medium.

9/10

New Star Trek Trailer

This new Star Trek trailer just hit the web. It's quite Kirk-centric and action packed. As a non trekker I can't really say that I was abnormally psyched for this flick, however it seems that they have fixed the problem that I've always had with the series, lack of action. With space scenes that look like they are from Star Wars instead of Star Trek and what looks like an interesting villian and great cast I'm fully invested in this one now.

Jim Jarmusch's Latest: The Limits of Control

I'm a big fan of Jim Jarmusch. Always have been. If you ask me there are few films finer than Ghost Dog, featuring Forest Whittaker in the unlikely role of a modern day samurai. Besides that I've also dug his classic Night on Earth, and the strangely entertaining gabfest Coffee and Cigarettes. I was NOT a fan of his Broken Flowers, however, featuring a boring performance by Bill Murray. I'm starting to worry that maybe Jarmusch is getting....I dunno, maybe too artsy for his own good. He's focusing less on plot and structure and making films that feel sorta ethereal, I guess is the word. They all feel sorta light and airy.

I'm hoping that won't be the case with his latest, The Limits of Control, about a mysterious loner on an assignment which takes him through Spain, where he runs into an assortment of odd characters. The film stars frequent Jarmusch collaborator Isaach De Bankole, Bill Murray, Gael Garcia Bernal, and Tilda Swinton. It's due to release in May, on a very limited basis I'm sure.

The Punch Drunk Podcast: Episode #17

This week on the Punch Drunk Podcast:

John and Trav finally dive into the long awaited, highly ancticpated Watchmen! Does the film live up to the hype? Is Zack Snyder a genius...or a goat?

Street Fighter fans everywhere will be kicking themselves over John and Trav's review of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li!

Big week for Oscar nominated films on DVD, as Milk, Rachel Getting Married, and Happy Go Lucky hit stores! Plus, Role Models and John's favorite film of 2008, Transporter 3!

News on Zack Snyder prepping for a 300 sequel! Plus, who's gonna don the Kreuger mask in the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot?

In honor of the release of Street Fighter(let's say the game and not the movie!), the guys run down their list of the Top 5 Martial Arts flick!

We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(ish)! You can find the Punch Drunk Podcast on ITunes, Podomatic, or any other podcast directory! Or you can subscribe directly right......here!

Who Watches the Lame USA Today Critics?

Seriously, I've never heard so much bad analysis over one film. I've always been wary of movie critics reviewing comic book films of which they know nothing about, because more often than not they treat these movies as second class citizens. As much as I respect Roger Ebert, I've seen him screw up more on comic book movies over the last ten years than he ever did the 20-30 years before. It's like they don't pay attention, or can't be bothered to do even a modicum of research. Case in point: This lame ass review posted on the USAToday website by Claudia Puig, in which it appears that she barely watched the film, only awakening to notice that Dr. Manhattan was naked and that there was *gasp* SEX in the movie! OH MY GAWD!!! As she makes note of Silk Spectre not being your typical comic book heroine, she fails to note that this is NOT your typical comic book movie, as it is a film for adults and not some all-ages sterilized cookie cutter. She again rails on the graphic violence, as if violence in movies is this new fangled idea that she just can't wrap her Brontosaurus brain around. What bugs me most, is that this extremely lame review isn't the only one I've seen. It's just the one that pissed me off the most.

Anyway, I'm done. Please check out Ms. Puig's awful review here and let me know what you thought about it.

PS--In all fairness to Roger Ebert, his review of Watchmen is actually really good and thoughtful. It's by far the best and most accurate review of a superhero film he's ever done. You can find it by clicking here.

The To-Do List for 3/06/09!

Move along! Nothing to see here! With the potential juggernaut Watchmen releasing today, studios have done what they always do and have run with their tails between their legs. Absolutely nothing else is coming out this week of consequence. Which leads me in the enviable position of being able to play a little catch up, and maybe revisit some things that I've been dying to see again.

Since I already saw Watchmen on Monday(read my review here), there's really no need to talk about it here. I do hope to catch up with it again hopefully on IMAX. Maybe this weekend if I'm extremely lucky.

One of the new films of note coming out in VA/DC that I'm interested in is Echelon Conspiracy, starring Shane West, Ving Rhames, Ed Burns, and Martin Sheen. An odd cast, with an even odder plot about a mysterious cell phone that promises great wealth to it's owner, then makes him the target of a worldwide manhunt. It's an interesting premise, to say the least. I am worried about the sometimes shaky Shane West in the lead role, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Only Hoffman Center is carrying this, for some reason.

Gomorrah is a sprawling gangster epic chronicling the influence of the mafia on modern day Italy. This is a film that I posted about here on the site awhile back, and now that it's here you can bet I'll be running out to see it. The film is set up similar to The Wire, as it's a story told from numerous perspectives.If I recall correctly, the man who wrote the book this is based on was the target of death threats due to the many secrets he was revealing. This one is only playing at Cinema Arts Theater in Fairfax, so if you're interested in that sorta thing it's the only place to check it out. Great theater, by the way.

Other than those, there's not much left to see! Tonight at midnight at E Street Cinema they are having a showing of Jurassic Park, which might be a lot of fun. Depending on what I'm doing it might be something worth revisiting on the big screen.

Also, Arlington Cinema 'n Drafthouse is showing Man on Wire, without doubt the best documentary of last year and one of the most amazing films I've ever seen: Period. I saw it on DVD and would love a chance to see some of those crazy images on the big screen, especially with a nice amaretto sour in my hand. Another idea, for those who love great stories, great food, and a cold frosty beverage.

New Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince trailer!

Harry Potter has quietly crept up the list of my favorite film franchises, which is as much a surprise to me as anybody. I never would've thought that the adventures of a boy wizard attending a school for wannabe mages could be this engrossing, thrilling, and far more mature than many other films out there. I'm past the point of seeing this as a bunch of stories for kids, especially since the darker tone it's been taking in it's ramp up to the final throwdown between Harry and Voldemort. The new trailer for The Half Blood Prince shows more of the stunning visual effects, and another glimpse at the terrors in store for Harry. It's scheduled to be released on July 17, and I can hardly wait.

New X-men Origins: Wolverine theatrical trailer!

This is the final trailer to be released for the highly anticipated prequel to the X-men films, focusing on the origins of it's most popular character, Wolverine. This trailer features a little bit more of Cyclops, who looks to be playing a bigger role in this than I originally thought. It looks like there are also going to be far more mutants that we've previously seen in the other X-men films making appearances, so if it's possible I'm even more excited for this than before.

Freddy's Back! A Nightmare on Elm Street reboot sets release date

Platinum Dunes has announced that they will start principal photography this April, and plan to release the film April 16th, 2010. This being the only news we've heard, and seeing that filming begins in a little over a month I would expect to see much more casting news coming. Top of that list is who's to play old pizza face himself? I'm voting for Jackie Earle Haley especially after seeing Watchmen but I'm sure that's just a pipe dream. Who else could be in contention? Are you even looking forward to this flick?

Watchmen

There's this little film coming out tomorrow. You might've heard of it. Watchmen? Only the most ambitious film about superheroes ever, based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' seminal graphic novel about an alternate reality 1985 America, where we are in the midst of a nuclear Mexican standoff with the Russians and superheroes roam the streets. Well, they used to before an act of Congress outlawed the "capes" and sent most of them either into retirement or underground. There's a riveting opening credit sequence that shows the rise and fall of the preeminent superhero team of the time, the Watchmen, that in my mind will decide for you whether you will love this film or hate it.

It's during these somewhat cheesy looking sequences, set to the tune of Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a-Changin'", where we get a look at how in depth this film is going to be. This isn't going to be your typical superhero flick, full of meaningless action with minimal attention paid to fleshing out the characters within. No, the world of Watchmen is a complete one. You MUST buy in to every single detail otherwise you will be disappointed. You have to care about the pasts and lineage of these heroes, for their stories run very deep and they all have bearing on the plot. If what you're looking for is Spider-Man or dare I say it even The Dark Knight, then this is not for you. No comic book film ever has laid bare it's characters the way this one does. You will know them inside and out. Sometimes you might think it's too much, but I promise the pay off is worth it.

It's the brutal murder of ironically named The Comedian that sets the story into motion. A former vigilante turned patriotic government superhero, The Comedian is suddenly attacked in his home while watching The McGlauchlin Group on TV. After a bloody battle, The Comedian is hurled through his apartment window down to the concrete below, to be seen by all. Clearly, his murderer wanted to send a message. It's this message that brings in the terrifying underground hero Rorshach to the scene. Rorshach, who wears a version of the Rorshack ink blot test as a mask, is convinced the murder is part of a larger plan to wipeout costumed heroes. Forshach will no doubt be the most popular hero to come out of this movie, as he's uncompromising, violent by design, terse, and frankly cooler than everybody else. Some will compare him to Batman with his dogged determination to solve the mystery, but he's really more like The Question in his outlook on social corruption. Rorshach recruits his former partner Dan Dreiberg, known as the second Night Owl, to help him investigate the case. Night Owl, who in civilian guise looks like a lamer version of Clark Kent, has retired quietly and faded somewhat into obscurity, but a hint of the old fire still seems to burn within him when faced with this new mystery.

Their investigation brings in the remaining members of The Watchmen: Silk Spectre, the daughter of the original Silk Spectre and the emotional core of the film. She is currently in a relationship with the atomic powered Dr. Manhattan. Manhattan, the only character in the film with obvious superpowers, is looked upon as a god amongst men. It's his presence that tips the balance of power in the Cold War to the United States' favor. But he is also the biggest conundrum of all, as his limitless power and ability to perceive his own future cause him to withdraw from humanity at a time when they need him most. And lastly, Adrian Veidt formerly known as Ozymandias. Veidt retired from the superhero biz to run his own global enterprise and is looked upon as the smartest man on the planet. Capable of using his full mental capacity and with total control over his physical capacity as well, he is arguably the most dangerous man on the planet, but has chosen to use his gifts to help better the world.

As Rorschach and Night Owl investigate, they discover a deep, all encompassing conspiracy that touches upon each of their convoluted backstories, involving the murders of the original superhero team The Minutemen, Silk Spectre's mother and her twisted affair with The Comedian, but also involving The Comedian's involvement in a much greater plan.

Watchmen purists will be pleased to see that the film version retains most of the elements that made the comic such a beloved classic. Zack Snyder painstakingly reproduced each scene to coincide with the original artwork, much like Robert Rodriguez did with Sin City, but at no point does the film feel slavish to the source material. There is room given for the actors to breath and live their own lives, so to speak. Rorshack seems as uncomfortable around other people as I imagined he was in the comic. The same goes for Billy Crudup's portrayal of the aloof Dr. Manhattan, who's seemingly blank stare hides the emotions bubbling within. When Manhattan finds himself suddenly and publicly acccused of spreading cancer to the people he loves, it's only the most subtle of facial movements that reveal his true feelings. Snyder has created a living, breathing world just begging for further exploration.

Make no mistake, this is not a fun superhero romp you can bring the kiddies out to. This baby is Adults Only, full of superhero sex and big blue atomic packages courtesy of the always starkers Doc Manhattan. Atleast when he's giant sized they were nice enough to give the man a pair of draws. The sometimes glacial pacing and long stretches of exposition will leave most kids and action enthusiasts antsy. The beautifully orchestrated fight sequences are only there to push the story forward, as they should be. When action does occur, it's for a very good reason. For example, what might seem like a random battle between Night Owl and Silk Spectre against a group of thugs is just the spark need to draw the two characters closer together, an event that leads to some big decisions for both her and Dr. Manhattan. Clocking in at just under three hours, nothing feels like it should've been left on the cutting room floor. Every scene is crucial, vital to the story, no matter how trivial it may seem initially.

My only complaint, and it is minor, is that I wish some of the more extended origin sequences dragged a bit. Not that they weren't interesting, but I think they could've been dispersed a bit more evenly throughout the film, rather than being dropped on us all at once. Not a big deal. I perhaps could've used a bit more insight into Ozymandias, as he probably gets the least amount of attention for such an important character.

Watchmen is a work of art. It is without doubt in my mind the best comic book movie ever made. Better than Dark Knight, and I love that film, too. Better than my dearest X-men could ever hope to even with three films. Watchmen is both edge of your seat thrilling and socially relevant, a rare feat for any superhero flick. I don't think for a second that this film will be a blockbuster on the scale of the last Batman, as once word of mouth spreads that the film is really rather cerebral, it will turn some people away. Plus these are not name characters. Nobody is recognizable unless you are one of the diehards. But I do expect that this film will go down in history as the most ambitious and creatively successful comic book movie of all-time. To answer the question: Who Watches the Watchmen? That would be me, many many times over.

9/10

Public Enemies theatrical trailer!

Few films sport a one-two punch of co-stars as dynamic as Public Enemies. Boasting the heavyweight duo of Johnny Depp and Christian Bale filling the fedoras of notorious Depression-era gangster John Dillinger and FBI agent Melvin Purvis, the more I see of this film the more anxious I'm getting for it. I'm curious to see how they handle the fact that Dillinger was considered a hero by a large portion of the public who saw him as some sort of modern day Robin Hood. This should be damn good if this trailer is any sort of indicator. Doesn't hurt that Michael Mann is directing.

THIS...IS....SPARTA!!!! The SEQUEL!!!

Zack Snyder let loose a few tidbits regarding a sequel to his fan favorite film, 300, starring a bunch of muscle bound warriors woefully outnumbered against a mammoth army of Persians and one really hungry looking dude with a deep voice. He says that Frank Miller will be writing and drawing the graphic novel, and once that is completed talk of formulating a movie script can begin, but Snyder himself will have zero input into the novelization. The sequel will take place during the Battle of Plateaa, where narrator Dilios was hangin' out during the first film.

I'm cautiously optimistic about this. I was somewhat disappointed in 300, finding that it looked great but didn't really do that amazing moment in history the proper justice. The political scenes were particularly painful to watch. But to be fair the graphic novel wasn't one of my favorites, either. I can see the potential for a great film was there, and so I'm hoping that this one will correct some of the mistakes 300 made. I guess that depends on Miller, who's writing has been somewhat spotty in recent years. We shall see. Anyway, check out the article on the story right here.

New Terminator Salvation theatrical trailer!

Since they decided NOT to grace us with the Terminator Salvation trailer last night before Watchmen(buncha Commies!), I decided I'd put it up on our site today as a show of protest! So there! Damn this movie's looking more and more awesome by the day. The Marcus Wright character alone, a Terminator who thinks he's human, has got me completely amped up to see this.

Street Fighter, Fired Up!, The Class, and yes Confessions of a Shopaholic

It's been another furious 5 days in which I've seen exactly one movie for each of 'em. John and I attended the Watchmen screening last night, and speaking for myself I thought it was amazing. But I want to let it sink in a bit before I review it, so I'll save that for later on in the week. For now, you'll have to settle for these four lesser films that contain no superhero sex whatsoever!

Fired Up!

The best part of Fired Up occurs about fifteen minutes in, when the two star football players first get off the bus at cheerleader camp and gaze out at the sea of spanky wearing chicks ready to be macked on. The rest of the film isn't nearly as glorious as that, but a lot more fun is to be had than I expected as these two jocks have their way with dozens of different girls, yet still miraculously find someone to fall in love with. Eric Christian Olsen maintains his streak of being an utterly annoying actor, but his co-star Nicholas D'agosto puts in a surprisingly strong effort as Shawn, the one guy who's just nice enough to win the heart of head cheerleader Carly(played by the too hot for words Sarah Roemer). I could've done with a little less John Michael Higgins as the effeminate camp instructor, and a little more of the rivalry between Shawn and Carly's meathead boyfriend, which was the most inspired stuff in the film. Not quite sure this will make it in my pantheon of cheerleader films, but it's definitely worth a rental when it hits DVD in a couple months. 6/10

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Seriously, give up already. Capcom's behind in the count 0-2 and frankly I don't even want to see the third pitch. Street Fighter is a haphazard mess of a film that pays lip service to the classic video game franchise then utterly ignores everything that makes the characters interesting to begin with. First of all, how in the hell do you have a SF film without Sagat? Then how do you not make it about street fighting in any way, shape, or form? The least interesting aspect of the SF mythos is Bison's control of Shadowloo, so ofcourse that's what gets focused on here. Kristin Kreuk plays Chun-Li, and she's probably the best part of the film, portraying the hero as strong, determined, but still vulnerable at times. The action sequences between her and any number of the dozens of henchman she blazes through are impressive. Too bad the villains in this junkheap aren't worth the effort. Michael Clarke Duncan's Balrog is laughably weak and unimpressive. He's little more than a lackey errand boy. Vega is an afterthought, and Bison is little more than a guy in a suit sitting in a corporate boardroom. The ending hints at a sequel more tightly focused on a street fighting tournament, which is an idea with promise. If it ever happens I'll look forward to that, and try my best to forget what a pock mark this thing was.

4/10

The Class

The plight of an inner city teacher in Paris struggling to school an assorted mix of hard headed, trouble making students might sound like something you've seen a million times over, but I promise that you've never seen it as real as this. The Class is a film starring Francois Bégaudeau, based on his own novel about his experiences as a literature teacher is strikingly honest in it's portrayal not only of the students but of the failings of the teachers as well. I was particularly intrigued by Begaudeau's honesty in evaluating his own performance, as to be frank he doesn't come off as a very good teacher at all. He's a human being like anyone else with his own flaws and biases, which clutter his teachings and slowly turn his class against him. What makes this film so different than any of the other movies of this type is that we only get to see these people in the classroom or out in the schoolyard. The teachers are presented to us as they would be if we were students in that classroom, and the students are presented to us as they would be if we were the teachers. In essence, each character is who they are solely in that room, none of this at home stuff where we find out that the troublemakers in class are all being abused at home....or the parents are divorcing, whatever. You are allowed to draw your own conclusions about them based off their actions and words alone, and it's a refreshing change from the norm. I can see now why The Class was nominated for a Best Foreign Language Oscar this year, because it's truly one of the best films of 2008. 8/10

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Not even Isla Fisher's unique beauty and impeccable comedic timing can amp up this warmed over mess about Rebecca Bloomwood, a woman who simply can't stop shopping. In a twist of irony too contrived to be believed she ends up working at a magazine titled Successful Saving as the Girl with the Green Scarf, a common sense woman with real life tips on saving. Racked with debt and pursued by a debt collector who's dorky and creepy in a "collecing all your fingernails" kind of way, she rises to the heights of popularity while desperately trying to keep her reality from crashing into her fabricated persona. In the midst of all this, she falls in love with her editor and joins a self help group for shopaholics. Pretty bland stuff, to be honest, and I can see why women's groups are lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks over this as it again portrays women as brainless zombies who obsess over the shallower things in life. As much as I hate to say it, this film could learn a thing or two from The Devil Wears Prada, which tread similar territory but was much smarter about it than this. If I can say anything good about it, it's that Isla Fisher is such a likeable actress that she makes this much easier to tolerate than almost anyone else could have. 4/10

The Informers redband trailer

I'm a big fan of Bret Easton Ellis. His novels are almost always about spoiled, disaffected young adults living symbiotic, destructive existences in the 1980's. This is the same guy behind Less Than Zero, American Psycho, and Rules of Attraction(one of my faves). I've actually been looking forward to this, although I must admit if another Ellis work was to be adapted for the screen I'd have preferred it be Glitterati and Glamorama, which have been rumored for years and will probably never come out. Still, I have a feeling that this film should've come out a few years ago when it would've had more impact. Regardless, the cast is sick, featuring Winona Ryder, Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke, Amber Heard, and the late Brad Renfro. Check it out below...

First Look at Halloween II

Thanks to /Film for the pic. Here's your first look at a battered and bloody Laurie Strode from Rob Zombie's upcoming Halloween II. Apparently it's going to follow in the same vein as the original sequel and take place immediatley after the end of Halloween in a hospital. I don't remember Laurie being that messed up at the end of the last one, but I haven't seen it in a while so refresh my memory if I'm wrong. Zombie is shooting now and plans on having the film in theaters by August. Sounds like a rushed schedule to me, look for more on this to come.

New Terminator: Salvation Trailer Clip and Posters

Tonite ET will have a sneak preview of the new Terminator trailer that is going to be attached to Watchmen and they have let loose a preview of the preview. I gotta admit this looks like it will be an action packed extravaganza that may just top the summer action list. Here's the clip:


Also, you'll notice at the top of the post three new posters that are really kind of generic. No biggie, they were inovative enough with the online poster of LA morphing into a T-800.

The Punch Drunk Podcast: Episode #16

This week on the Punch Drunk Podcast...

1. John and Trav set their phasers to "stunned" at just how funny Fanboys truly is!

2. Trav struggles to keep his review of Donkey Punch as clean as possible, and fails miserably.

3. The guys plead to the American viewing public to rent or buy Sex Drive! Plus, the homoeroticism that is the film, College!

4. News on Linda Hamilton in Terminator: Salvation and Ghostbusters 3!

5. The rundown of the Oscar results reveals Trav's true dislike for a certain Supporting Actor winner...who's name rhymes with Buba Dooding. Plus, the guys discuss the Oscar Night at the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse.

Join us for another fun episode! You can find the Punch Drunk Podcast on Itunes, Podomatic, or any podcast directory! Or you can subscribe by clicking right....here.