The Queue: Killshot

What would it take for a film starring Mickey Rourke, Thomas Jane, Diane Lane, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, and Rosario Dawson to go straight to DVD? Surely something as simple as a mediocre script couldn't keep such star power out of theatres, right? How about poor production value? Would that do it? No. It needs the unholy trifecta, doesn't it? Ok, so let's throw in a pinch of phoned in acting. Not even John Madden, once highly acclaimed director of Shakespeare in Love, could save this turkey from tanking.

Mickey Rourke tackles the role of aging Native American hitman, Blackbird. On a job, he is spotted by real estate agent Carmen Colson, played by the beautiful Diane Lane. Obviously, Blackbird can't allow her to live, so along with his psychotic partner, Richie, they set out to make sure Carmen and her husband Wayne(Thomas Jane) can't identify them. Carmen and Wayne enter the Witness Protection Program, but that doesn't stop the threats and attacks from these two deranged psychos.

Killshot is based off the Elmore Leonard crime novel, but the script by Hossein Amini lacks Leonard's knack for creating realistic and gritty dialogue. Some of the scenes between Blackbird and Richie are just painful. Richie's character is so over the top annoying that I wanted him dead on the spot before he ruined the entire film Unfortunately my wish was not granted. Mickey Rourke appears to be sleepwalking through every scene as if seeming to not care is an acceptable way of portraying "cool". No, it just looks like you don't care. On the flipside, I rather enjoyed the moments between Carmen and Wayne, who are in the midst of a divorce but forced to stay together throughout this ordeal. It's a nice twist on a fairly typical situation, and some of the rough dialogue between them can be attributed to the marital tensions.

Unfortunately not much else works. Characters flit in and out of this thing without rhyme or reason. Rosario Dawson is here apparently to pick up a paycheck. Carmen's mom is dropped in as a totally nonsensical plot device, as she does something so stupid I'm hoping there's a deleted scene of her getting a lobotomy to justify it. The final showdown is quick and isn't satisfying in the least, and feels like it was thrown together haphazard. There's just not much this film gets right.

But atleast it's mercifully short.

4/10

Next up in The Queue: 2009's Powder Blue

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

There are times when Michael Bay knows exactly how to hit the right buttons. At times, Transformers sends me back to a time when I was a kid playing with my Soundwave action figure, having him duke it out with Ultra Magnus on my front porch. The times when, even then, I wondered what a live action Transformers film would look like; how cool it could be; how they could just bring the phenomenal Transformers: The Movie into the real world and it'd be awesome. But then, Bay flips to the other side of the coin, and does all the same things wrong that would've annoyed me as a child and still annoy me to this day. There's no middle ground. You're either exhilerated by a few amazing action sequences, or bored to tears by a mind boggling plot and stilted conversation about shards and matrixes. >yawn<

It's two years after Megatron's defeat, and now the Autobots have fully incorporated themselves into the country's military as a part of NEST, a special human/Autobot strike force designed to take out Decepticon threats. But the government now is starting to get a little weary of the fighting, and the logical assumption is made that the Autobots are what's drawing the Decepticons to earth. Without a human voice to support them, the good guys quickly become persona non grata, and turn to Sam Witwicky(Shia Labouf) to help them. Unfortunately Sam is on his way to college, a segment of the film best left undiscussed, as it quickly devolves into lame sitcom humor involving his well meaning but goofy parents. Sam and his too hot for him girlfriend Mikaela(Megan Fox) prepare for a life of phone sex and web cam chats.

Little do they know that the Decepticons are actually in search of something in particular. An ancient Decepticon known as The Fallen has returned, and seeks the location of a Sun Harvester, a device used to create energon by destroying stars. The only known location of the machine is hidden in Sam's mind, since he's now one with the All Spark. There's also something involving the Matrix of Leadership, but honestly it's all too convoluted for a Transformers movie. It feels like they took these cool elements of the cartoon continuity, threw them into a blender and hit puree. None of it makes a lot of sense. Anyway, The Fallen, Megatron, and the rest of the Decepticons head off to capture Sam, soak up his knowledge and use it to find the Harvester.

There's a definite initiative in this film to bring the Autobots more into the real world, which was something I thought was seriously lacking in the previous. The Transformers are now a part of the world at large, which is somewhat more in line with the cartoon and comics. I like the way the government begins to look at all of the aliens with suspicion, which felt like a natural course considering they've brought nothing but war and death since arriving. It's something I hope they capitalize on for the next film because it genuinely works for awhile, up until the promising subplot is used as comedy fodder later on. Then again virtually every promising aspect of the story is thrown away at some point, but that's because The Fallen is a lame ass character to center a film around. He's suddenly the true leader of the Decepticons, but Megatron fails to mention him last time around? Whatever. Not to mention that he doesn't seem to be any different than any other Transformer other than that he looks vaguely Egyptian, but at least he ain't rockin' a gold tooth or a walking stick(more on that later).

Whatever. Nobody cares about the plot anyway. This thing is about giant robots pounding metal fists into eachother's grills, right? Compared to the previous film, this Transformers is a bit easier on the eyes during the fights sequences. There's a sense that they actually tried to choreograph each battle, rather than just hurling masses of metal at eachother and having them roll around the screen for awhile. Some of the battles are almost operatic in nature, as Optimus dances among four Decepticons in a pitched battle that ultimately ends in his defeat. There's something about watching Optimus Prime fall in battle that is always gut wrenching, and this from a guy with a Decepticon tattoo on his arm. Then again I got that same feeling everytime I saw my beloved Soundwave used as a glorified DirecTV satellite up in space. Whatta waste. But I digress....the point being that the battles are more open, more thrilling than before. The explosions are bigger, the guns are more ratta-tat-tatty, and there are more than two Decepticons this time and not just a bunch of bland drones.

The Autobots again are the recipients of all the robotic personality, as we get a host of new boyscouts for Hasbro to make toys out of. We get a version of the only female Autobot, Arcee, now a trio of lovely fem-bots. We're also introduced to Jetfire, an ancient Decepticon who has been stuck in a museum as an old biplane for decades. Explain this to me: Why would an old robot who's been in a museum for years transform into an old man with a walking stick? Does he eat energon oatmeal and wear Cybertronian Depends™, too? It's just stupid beyond belief, but atleast he's not offensive.

There's been a ton of talk about two particular characters, Mudflap and Skids. People have been complaining that the two represent a poor stereotype of African-Americans being as that they have gold teeth, speak in a amped up version of hip hop slang, and basically act ignorant for 90% of the film. It doesn't help that they openly claim to "not do much readin'" or something like that. Personally, I found that to be more annoying than offensive. I remember the original autobot Jazz back in the 80's was CLEARLY a black dude. So was Blaster. They would break dance, talk in jive, and I never really cared. Still don't. I see these two as an extension of that, and I honestly believe nobody would give a damn if they weren't so prominent. They dominate every scene they're in because they are so friggin' annoying. Remember how you'd groan if Jar Jar Binks did so much as walk on screen for two seconds? That's how these two are. Aggravating. But racist? I think that's a bit much.

There's no reason in the world that a Transformers film should be 2 1/2 hours long. Period. None. That alone tells you that there is way too much filler here, and that is the biggest problem this movie suffers. When they aren't fighting, it's a slow plodding bore, compounded by it's snooze inducing length. If you're seeing Tyrese Gibson or one of Sam's unfortunate parents, you're probably snoozing. Or wondering how many toes you'll crush on your way to the bathroom. The military might as well be the words "Mr. Irrelevant" stamped on their foreheads. They serve no purpose other than to provide Bay a chance to blow up an aircraft carrier.

If Transformers continues without Bay at the helm I honestly believe it will be a worse film for it. Sure, his films require only the bare minimum of acting which is why I didn't even comment on it in this entire review(except for Glenn Morshower who is DA MAN!), but Bay does bring the vision and scale that a film like this demands. I only wish the script(which ain't his fault) was up to par. Sadly, it just lags and drags too much for what is essentially a film about giant robots. The last thing in the world it should EVER be is dull at any point. Maybe they'll hit the nail on the head the next time around.

6/10

Top Shelf at the Box Office!

As if there was ever any doubt, this week belonged to Michael Bay. Transformers 2 helped amp up the box office total over 9% more than at this time last year when Wall-E and Wanted were the big draws. Ugh. Wanted. Horrible images of Common looking out of place standing around real actors. Make it stop!

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen- $112M/$201M

I said last week that if you spit you're likely to hit a theatre showing Transformers, and I wasn't far off. Playing at over 10,000 screens(!!) this thing took off like a shot and very nearly bested The Dark Knight's record opening of $203M. By comparison, the previous film in the series took nearly two weeks to cross $200M, so...yeah, I'd say this was a bit more successful. It's a little disgusting that this is already about a week away from surpassing Up as the top grosser of the year. What's more, it fired in the highest grossing IMAX opening ever at $14.4M, ensuring that this thing will be lighting up Jumbo-Trons probably til the end of summer. Amazing first week, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this was the most successful 80's toy tie-in of all time. That is until the Silverhawks film comes out!

2. The Proposal- $18.5M/$69M

Dropping nearly 45% from last week, the Sandra Bullock comedy that looks like a relic from the 90's probably benefitted as a bit of counter-programming to the robotic rampage of Transformers. I would imagine that the audience for this film is the same as went to see My Sister's Keeper, which debuts a bit further down the list. As it goes, $69M in 10 days is pretty darn good.

3. The Hangover- $17.2M/$183M

Tied with Star Trek for the smallest drop of the week, the Vegas comedy only slipped around 35%. The reason for the phenomenal success of this film? Everybody likes to watch babies get hit in the head by car doors. I paid to see it twice, actually.

4. Up- $13M/$250M

Up will take the title for shortest reign as champion ever, as it finally surpassed Star Trek as the highest grossing film of the year. It'll probably lose that title this weekeng. Not even Ed Asner stands a chance against Optimus Prime, although it's a fight I'd love to see. He can certainly take Shia Lebeouf.

5. My Sister's Keeper- $12M

Not everybody wanted to watch things explode and gratuitious shots of Megan Fox's arse. I cried during some of the duller moments of Transformers, but apparently a lot of people wanted to cry for another reason entirely. The film about a girl dying of cancer, who's sister was bred to be her genetic donor, pulled in a substantial amount even though it was only showing at around 2,000 sites.

6. Year One- $5.8M/$32.3M

It's actually faring worse than Land of the Lost now. They should've held this movie til October or something. Or better yet, held it indefinitely. It dropped 70% friggin percent since last week, meaning nobody spread good word about it.

7. The Taking of Pelham 123- $5.4M/$53.4M

I'm struck by how irrelevant this movie became so quickly. I'm sure it'll do great on DVD, but yet again another "adult oriented" film goes belly up in record time. Big name stars just don't mean anything anymore.

8. Star Trek- $3.61M/$246M

Just lost it's title to Up as top grosser of the year, but it doesn't matter. The franchise re-imagining has been a remarkable success and bodes well for sequels down the line. As long as Tyler Perry's nowhere to be found, that is. Unless he's found underneath a crashed Romulan warship or something. That'd be cool.

9. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian- $3.5M/$163M

10. Away We Go- $1.68M/$4.06M

The Maya Rudolph/John Krasinski dramedy finally went wide release this week, opening at 495 sites pulling in a healthy $3,390 average. Unless there's a massive turnaround, this won't come close to matching the total box office of director Sam Mendes' most recent film, Revolutionary Road. Obviously this film doesn't have film's acting pedigree or exposure.

'Gamer' International Trailer!

The Running Man is one of those perfect little action films of the 80's, about a not so distant future in which TV is king, and the top show of all-time is a game where convicts are forced to do battle with murderous "stalkers" to win their freedom. Arnold Schwarzenegger starred as a resistance fighter forced to take part, who vows to destroy the corrupt system that controls the game.

Well, take that idea to the next level and you've got Gamer. Set in the future, Gamer takes place in a world where mind control technology has allowed players to take control of death row inmates and pit them against each other in wide scale death matches. If an inmate survives 30 matches, they win their freedom. Gerard Butler stars as the top "slayer" on the verge of securing his release, but his true goal is find and destroy the game's creator, played by Dexter's Michael C. Hall.

Gamer is written and directed by Mark Neveldine, and if his name sounds familiar it's because he was the man behind two of the three Crank films, so expect tons of over-the-top violence. Always a good thing. Judging by the cast alone this one is worth waiting for. Besides Butler and Hall the film also features Alison Lohman, Milo Ventimiglia, Aaron Yoo, Ludacris, Terry Crews, Kyra Sedgwick, Zoe Bell, and John Leguizamo.

Gamer goes live on September 4, 2009. Check out the trailer and let me know what you think.

Spielberg, Smith Continue with Oldboy Remake

I've been not so secretly praying(and I'm not a religious man) that somehow this proposed remake of the Korean classic, Oldboy, would fall flat on it's face. So much for that idea. Spielberg and Will Smith are pushing ahead with their plans to Americanize the Korean classic, about a man held captive for 15 years for no apparent reason who is finally released and goes off on a bloody quest for vengeance, despite tons of legal entanglements.

The problems involve Futabasha, creators of the original Oldboy manga, alledging that Show East never had the authority to sell the rights or negotiate remakes. What makes matters even worse is that Show East has apparently gone belly up, and none of it's top executive can be found. They've all flown the coop. To make matters more confusing, Cineclick Asia actually negotiated the deal with Universal to remake Oldboy. Universal quickly sold the rights to Mandate, and then finally Dreamworks swooped in and acquired the rights from Mandate in one of their first moves since breaking away from Paramount Pictures. Confused yet?

None of that stuff matters unless a court rules that Show East was in violation in even negotiating to begin with. A Futabasha spokesman says that legal proceedings officially began last week, but with Show East nowhere to be found who knows how that will end up. Dreamworks is continuing on as if the movie will be a go. No word on a release date.

Oldboy is actually the 2nd of 3 installments of Park Chan-Wook's "Vengeance Trilogy". The first being Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, then the final part Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. All three films are excellent, and I recommend checking them out before they get remade into bland action filler.

Cowboy Bebop Movie to be Similar to Anime, Says Craig

Cowboy Bebop, originally uploaded by Lara ੴ Lopes.

Writer Peter Craig, who has been chosen to write the "Cowboy Bebop" movie starring Keanu Reeves, says that it will be true to the anime. I don't know about you, but it's very hard to interpret anime into a real-action movie, especially in Hollywood. Another thing that has me skeptical is that Craig is not even an anime fan or ever written Sci-Fi.

"Even though I'd never written Sci-Fi, Emma Watts and Erwin Stoff really believed that I might relate well to Spike, Faye, and Jet -- as well as many of the minor characters from the episodes. When I heard I might have a chance for the job, I was thrilled. Fox sent me every episode of "Cowboy Bebop," including a few that had never aired in the U.S. I think I watched all of them consecutively one night until the sun came up - and by the end, I was obsessed with the show. I loved how it mixed genres, how it blended noir, Jazz, Yakuza movies, Westerns, and so much else into a vision of the future that worked. And so I entered that process of going after the job, giving my "take" on the movie, competing with other writers. Ultimately, I got the job because Erwin Stoff and Emma Watts had liked my work in the past -- and they saw that I was passionate about it."

Let's hope that they prove me wrong.

To read the interview with AnimeVice, click here: http://www.animevice.com/news/writer-peter-craig-speaks-on-cowboy-bebop-flick/1552/?page=2&sort=first

The To-Do List!

So if you're one of those people like me who already saw Transformers, then you've just opened up 3 hours of your week that can now be occupied with other more important things. Or if you're me you just fill that gap with another movie, plus another hour looking for fresh ways to waste money. The fact that precious little came out this week for fear of the Michael Bay steamroller doesn't mean there isn't plenty of counter programming to choose from.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen



Judging by the fact that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the highest grossing Wednesday opener ever, chances are you've already seen this and have formulated your opinion. But in case you've been living in subspace for the last few years, this much anticipated sequel pits the heroic Autobots against The Fallen, one of the original Primes and ultimate leader of the Decepticons. Michael Bay returns as director so expect more explosions, more 'bots, more low angle rotating shots, and gratuitous panning down of the camera when Megan Fox is on screen. If you spit, you're likely to hit a theatre that this thing is playing at.

My Sister's Keeper



Shoot me now! If the trailer alone is enough to make it all dusty in the theatre, then just how many heartstrings will the movie itself pull? I'm not exactly into seeing this because it's a no win scenario for me. If I let it get to me, then I'm a big fat punk who lets weepy tearjerkers get to him. But if I don't feel anything(most likely), then I'm an unemotional android. I've somewhat committed to going to see this with the Meetup gang sometime soon, but I think I might be coming down with a slight case of Bubonic Plague. Then again, I would pay to see that scene with Cameron Diaz looking all Curly-esque at the cancer walk.

The Stoning of Soraya M.



I have a thing for Shohreh Aghdashloo. As an actress, I mean. I think she's an absolutely brilliant, powerful presence on screen and I love her in everything. Even when she was on 24 she was one of the few bright spots of that lousy season. The Stoning of Soraya M. details the true story of a woman sentenced to death by stoning. No, not like 200 years ago. Like now. Modern times. Barbaric, right? The film depicts some of the crueler aspects of Iranian "justice", so is it any surprise that the film is banned there? This is currently playing at Landmark E Street and AMC Shirlington.

What else?

I'm seeing Francis Ford Coppola's Tetro this afternoon after apparently the fates decided to plot against me on Wednesday. Everything from awkwardly timed appointments to 2 hour NON-RUSH HOUR traffic stood in my way. The only thing that can stop me this time is a poorly timed phone call from my boss. Probably just jinxed myself.




One film that is out in limited but not yet in DC is Kathryn Bigelow's controversial Iraq war film, The Hurt Locker. This one has caused a stir ever since it debuted in Toronto last year, and I for one can hardly wait. It's about a bomb disposal unit during it's final days of deployment that gets sucked into a brutal urban warfare. Looks and sounds amazing. I might hold a Meetup for this one once a release date for DC is nailed down.

Daybreakers Theatrical Trailer

We just posted the theatrical poster for this upcoming vampire flick a couple of days ago, and now here's the newly released trailer. Looks pretty damn good. The film stars Ethan Hawke, Sam Neil, and Willem Dafoe as a group of vampires trying to save their race from extinction. Check it out:

Transformers breaks opening day record! Still might suck...

Anyone who's been on a movie site probably has read a negative review about the newest installment of the Transformers franchise. To be honest, I can't comment since I haven't seen it yet though I will tonight. I'm sure it's not good...most action movies aren't good, they're fun, isn't that the point? Forgive, I just get a little bothered by all the internet trolls who take up virtual pitchfork and torch against every major movie that comes out which doesn't hit Dark Knight or Star Trek like expectations. People, it's a movie about gigantic freaking robots and explosions with a little sex appeal thrown in for good measure take it for what it is. Alot of people will disagree with me on this but whatever, apparently you still went to see it regardless of all the negative feedback. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has allready grossed 60.6 million and now holds the record for largest Wednesday opening beating out Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix. This simply validates my point that we all bitch about the things we like the most even if we won't admit it, and eye candy will always win out at the box office. Yeah the dialouge probably sucks, the story may be weak, and I have no doubt that it completely strays from the cartoon, but you know what? Optimus F'in Prime is fighting other gigantic robots with a freaking sword that shoots out of his arm...enough said. I'm in. Nolan OUT!

Screenwriter says Avengers Movie Might Suck

It's okay to be cautious and all and keeping expectations low is sometimes a good thing, but...I actually kinda like it when the writer thinks his movie will be good. Maybe that's just me. Call me crazy. Zak Penn, who's scripting the upcoming Avengers film seems to be a glass half empty kinda dude. He says in an interview MTV

"It's hard to make a good movie. We all have the best intentions, and it still might suck ... I'm taking a meeting next week with the 'Thor' and 'Captain America' people, and we are all going to get together, and I will see what is going to happen. I'll see where they are leaving the characters; it's pretty complicated."

Well I'm all excited now! How about you?

Tyrese Gibson? As Captain America? Que?

There's been a lot of talk about ol' Steve Rogers lately. Ofcourse those who follow the comic know he's been dead for about two years which caught a lot of people by surprise. But with news of the upcoming First Avenger: Captain America being in development along with news of Cap's return from the dead, the most iconic of all the Avengers is big time in the news. Remember those rumors about Will Smith starring in the upcoming Cap film as the first black Captain America(assumed to be Isiah Bradley)? Well, listen up to what Baby Boy himself has to say on the subject...

"The energy from Comic-Con really did something to me," Gibson said. "Instead of me sitting back and waiting on 'Luke Cage' to finally happen -- which I'm still looking forward to doing once they get the script together -- and instead of me waiting on 'Captain America,' which they were talking about me for, I'm going to create my own. And that's what I did."

Say what? Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? They were talking to you about it? As what? The Falcon? No wait, even that's too good. As the Falcon's bone-headed brother? I'm at a loss here. Surely they weren't talking to him about playing Cap, right? Nah. Couldn't be. Nah. Uh uh. Atleast Tyrese has occupied himself with his own superhero project, but still.....nah.

'From Paris with Love' Teaser Poster!

Now this is more like it. I love the look of this poster and I love the synopsis even more. I've been waiting for the wisecracking smart ass Travolta to make a return since 'Face-Off', personally I think that's when he's at his best. Even if this ends up being standard as far as plot goes the promise of that version of Travolta coupled with cool looking John Rhys Meyers has me psyched. That and this type of movie is right up my alley, so without further ado here's the plot rundown from Lionsgate.

A low-ranking intelligence operative (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) working in the office of the U.S. Ambassador in France takes on more than he bargained for when he partners with a wisecracking, fast-shooting, high-ranking U.S. agent (John Travolta) who’s been sent to Paris to stop a terrorist attack.



From Paris With Love opens in theaters on February 19th 2010!

Away We Go

Sometimes a movie gets it completely wrong. Away We Go strives hard to be something more than it actually is, but winds up tripping over it's own shoelaces. I take issue with a film that's quirky just for the sake of being quirky. I'm all for characters who maybe aren't always on the most even keel, but sometimes indie films make the mistake of thinking that quirk is a substitute for personality.

John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph play Burt and Verona, a couple expecting their first child. They don't really seem to have their crap together, living in a shell of a house with little to no electricity or furniture to speak of. They look hella poor, frankly, which strikes me as odd since his parents(Catherine O'Hara and Jeff Daniels) live right up the street and seem pretty well off. Ofcourse they're neurotic, and pretty damn self-involved since they decide to move away right before their grandkid is born, leaving the two parents to fend for themselves. Now, rather than getting their crap together the two decide to go on a road trip of sorts, ostensibly to find a new place to call home.

My beef with that is that these two aren't really looking for a place to call home. They are looking for people to show them how to raise their own kid. At no point do they actually look at houses or experience the towns they visit. They basically sit and observe their friends, most of whom should probably have their kids taken away from then. Each trip is broken up into chapters titled "Away to Phoenix" or "Away to Wherever". The first involves them meeting up with Verona's old boss Lily and her husband, played by Allison Janney and Jim Gaffigan. They're one of those miserable couples who seem to be getting by through sheer momentum. They have no particular love for eachother, and no particular concern for their kids. Lily in particular is snarky and sarcastic, and downright insulting to her children. She's supposed to be funny. I think. But she just comes off as ugly and bitchy. Next up is the disastrous sequence with Maggie Gyllenhall and Josh Hamilton as a pair of hippies so annoying and wildly sterotyped that it's like they fell out of a bad sitcom. F'real, they have a thing against strollers. Everybody's a conformist! Ooooohhhhh!!!! They don't work because that means giving in to "the man!" Ooooohhh! It's friggin' awful, but the worst thing about it is that it's long as hell! It goes on forever!

The next couple, I admit, could've been interesting. Their friends in Ottawa, Tom and Munch(Melanie Lynskey, one of my faves) adopted a bunch of kids when it became clear that she was never going to be able to have them on her own. They appear to be a rock solid couple, with genuine love for both eachother and their children, despite all of their problems with conceiving. From this chapter on the film attempts belatedly to add some emotional heft. The problem is this film hasn't earned any of it. It's been one long exercise is meaninglessness up to this point, with the occasional joke tossed in. At no point are we really privy to Burt and Verona as actual people. They're just there to serve as a device for us to meet these quirky, crazy people. So when we get to the point where we're actually supposed to care about what happens, it's pretty damn hard to invest in any of it.

I'm not sure how I feel about Sam Mendes. He seems to have some sort of beef with Americans, or atleast the American family if you want to analyze his previous films(yes, even Jarhead was about a close knit family of soldiers who desperately wanted to kill something). I can see it, but that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that his films have gotten less enjoyable. Period. I loved American Beauty and Road to Perdition, but was sorta blah about Jarhead and now this is borderline terrible. There's no chemistry between Rudolph and Krasinski. It's like they're spouting lines at a blank wall or something. I'm sure somewhere buried underneath that Unibomber beard Krasinski is inexplicably sporting there lies some sense of a personality. A sheepish grin does not a character make.

4/10

Year One

Year One seems to exist for no reason other than to have Michael Cera and Jack Black play themselves. While wearing tattered furs and loincloths. Sometimes the pairing of two big name comedy stars reaps terrible rewards, and this would be such an occasion. I've been following this film pretty intensely because I wanted to see how awful it would be. But after discovering that legendary filmmaker/actor Harold Ramis was helming it, I hoped that it would atleast be a passable comedy. I figured if anyone could turn it into something watchable it'd be Ramis, who brought us such classics as Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day. But here he seems to mining old, familiar territory and not doing anything particularly funny with it. It doesn't help that he gets no support by the two main stars.

Year One is a biblical comedy, not a prehistoric one like you might expect. There's no running away from dinosaurs or anything like that. Cera and Black play a pair of bumbling hunter/gatherers Oh and Zed, ultimately thrown out of their tribe for their incompetence. Oh, and eating forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. Kindof a bad thing. It happens for no reason other than to give a reason to throw them out. The pair run across a host of biblical figures, including Cain and Abel(David Cross & Paul Rudd), presented here as a pair of constantly bickering siblings. It's not funny in the least. Paul Rudd is particularly wasted, and I'm sure he must've owed someone a favor to even show up to this thing. Cain ultimately betrays the two oafs, selling them into slavery, where the two discover that their entire tribe including the two unimportant and frankly not that hot women they wanted to be with are slaves also. Escaping, again for no apparent reason, the two decide to rescue their captured loves(who don't know they exist, mind you).

I'm sure that on paper the teaming of Cera and Black seemed like a surefire winner. Black at one time had a real freshness to his style, although it never really appealed to me. He always seemed like he needed to tone it down a few notches, and the few occasions where he does he's quite enjoyable. Here, he's back to his old ways and it is a crashing bore. Zed is a maniac with no off switch. It's Jack Black unfiltered, and if you like that sortof thing then you'll dig it. Unfortunately I can't stand to watch it. There's a scene where Zed, playing the role of hunter that he failed so miserably at earlier, sniffs and ultimately eats some animal crap. That's about the level of humor you're going to get out of this thing.

Michael Cera is another issue. I'm getting tired of his timid, meely mouthed schtick. It works when he's got a reliable counterpart, be it Jonah Hill or Ellen Page, or even Jason Bateman. But here paired with Black it doesn't work. The two have no chemistry whatsoever, and it's a wonder that these two are friends other than the fact that they are both screw ups.

I'm not sure what Harold Ramis was going for. It's almost like he was trying to create some sort of prehistoric Superbad, because the dynamic is almost similar only not funny. Not realistic. Not worth investing in. It's almost sad that such a comedy icon is reduced to making worthless, forgettable junk like Year One. Hell, even his Bedazzled was better than this! I think that sums up how I feel about this movie perfectly. It's worse than Bedazzled. There ya go.

4/10

Sam Mendes signs 2 year first look deal with Focus Features

Oscar winning director Sam Mendes has just signed a two year deal with Focus Features! This puts two great things together and has me really excited for the future of these two. Mendes has an amazing resume winning an Oscar for his first film 'American Beauty', following that up with, in my opinion, all hits and no misses with 'Road to Perdition', 'Jarhead', and last years 'Revolutionary Road'. Focus Features is a production company I've been enamoured with for years now putting out flicks like 'In Bruges', 'Being John Malkovich', 'Traffic', 'Lost in Translation', 'Brick', and the upcoming '9'. Here's the official press release from Focus:

NEW YORK, June 18, 2009 – Academy Award-winning director Sam Mendes’ production company Neal Street Productions, in which he is partnered with Pippa Harris and Caro Newling, has signed a two-year first-look deal with Focus Features. Focus will hold worldwide rights to any features that Neal Street produces. Focus CEO James Schamus made the announcement today.


Mr. Mendes’ new movie Away We Go was released by Focus this month, and last weekend broke into the national boxoffice Top 20 while playing on only 45 screens; its per-screen average of $12,463 is the highest of any film in the Top 20. The picture will open in additional cities and theaters throughout the month. Directed by Mr. Mendes from an original screenplay by Dave Eggers & Vendela Vida, Away We Go stars John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph. Away We Go was produced by Edward Saxon, Marc Turtletaub, and Peter Saraf; Mari Jo Winkler-Ioffreda and Ms. Harris were the film’s executive producers.


Focus president of production John Lyons and senior vice president, international production Teresa Moneo will work on the Neal Street films. Among the projects in development by Neal Street at Focus are:


Butcher’s Crossing, an adaptation of the classic 1960 novel written by John Williams and described by The New York Times Book Review as “perhaps the first and best revisionist Western.” Gabe and Alan Polsky of Polsky Films are producing with Neal Street. The epic adventure set in 1870s America follows Will Andrews as he forsakes his Harvard education and lands in the small Kansas town of Butcher’s Crossing, where he is drawn into a sweeping hunt for one of the last great buffalo herds. No screenwriter is yet assigned to the project.


Middlemarch, an adaptation of George Eliot’s classic novel of the same name, which explores diverse lives and changing fortunes in a provincial 1830s English community. Screenwriter Andrew Davies has written the current draft.


Mr. Schamus commented, “After our extraordinary experience on Away We Go, we knew we would work together again with Sam. The range of Sam’s interests and skills as a filmmaker is limitless, and he is a magnet for top talent in front of and behind the camera.”

(more)

Mr. Mendes said, “I’m absolutely thrilled to be in partnership with Focus. I have long been a huge admirer of what they do, and my experience of working with James Schamus, John Lyons and the Focus team on Away We Go has been nothing but enjoyable. I know I speak for both myself and Pippa Harris when I say that we can’t wait to make some more movies with them, and soon.”


Founded in 2003 by Sam Mendes, Caro Newling, and Pippa Harris, Neal Street Productions has enjoyed a string of screen successes, including Revolutionary Road, Starter For Ten, Jarhead, Things We Lost in the Fire, and Away We Go. Neal Street is also prolific in the theater world, having recently received a total of 15 Tony nominations for Shrek The Musical and Mary Stuart. Neal Street Theatricals is currently represented on the London stage by Mr. Mendes’ Bridge Project – a double bill of The Winter’s Tale and The Cherry Orchard at The Old Vic. Ms. Newling comes to Neal Street from London’s Donmar Warehouse; Ms. Harris hails from the BBC, where she was Head of Drama Commissioning.


Focus Features and Focus Features International (FFI) (www.filminfocus.com) together comprise a singular global company, dedicated to producing, acquiring, financing, selling, and distributing original and daring films from emerging and established filmmakers – films that challenge mainstream moviegoers to embrace and enjoy voices and visions from around the world. The company’s flexible and nuanced approach to distribution allows it to support a wide range of films, from those geared to a single local market to worldwide hits. The company operates as Focus Features domestically, and as Focus Features International overseas.


In addition to Away We Go, current and upcoming Focus Features movies include Shane Acker’s animated fantasy epic 9, starring Elijah Wood and Jennifer Connelly and produced by Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov; the unique nonfiction feature Babies, directed by Thomas Balmès; Greenberg, the new film from writer/director Noah Baumbach, starring Ben Stiller; Academy Award-winning writer/director Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere; Academy Award-winning writer/directors Joel and Ethan Coen’s A Serious Man; and Taking Woodstock, the new film from Academy Award-winning director Ang Lee.


Focus Features and Focus Features International are part of NBC Universal, one of the world’s leading media and entertainment companies in the development, production, and marketing of entertainment, news, and information to a global audience. Formed in May 2004 through the combining of NBC and Vivendi Universal Entertainment, NBC Universal owns and operates a valuable portfolio of news and entertainment networks, a premier motion picture company, significant television production operations, a leading television stations group, and world-renowned theme parks. NBC Universal is 80% owned by General Electric and 20% owned by Vivendi.

Daybreakers Teaser Poster

Here's the synopsis from Lionsgate

Two-time Academy Award nominee® Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, a researcher in the year 2019, in which an unknown plague has transformed the world's population into vampires. As the human population nears extinction, vampires must capture and farm every remaining human, or find a blood substitute before time runs out. However, a covert group of vampires makes a remarkable discovery, one which has the power to save the human race.

Just heard about this flick but it has a great cast with Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, and Sam Neil. The plot is also something totally new which is something I'm quite excited about, we hear the same Vampire tale over and over but this seems to flip it on it's head. This seems more like 'I Am Legend' but with intellegent vamps that are trying to get back to the way they were, a really cool little twist on the legend. Can't wait to hear more and catch a trailer, release date is set for January 8th, 2010. More on this flick as we get it!

Ponyo on the Cliff English Trailer Released

Poster Ponyo on the Cliff, originally uploaded by Cine Fanatico.

Finally, the English trailer for Hayao Miyazaki’s latest movie, Ponyo on the Cliff, has been released. http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/ponyo/ I must say that I am impressed (as always when it comes to Miyazaki). It looks like something that adults and children would love, and that there is a great message it will convey.

The movie is coming out August 14, 2009. My children, who are also lovers of Miyazaki’s movies, and I will be the first in line.

Alice in Wonderland....Burton-ized!!!!

Alice in Wonderland is one effed up story. Don't let the Disney 'toon fool ya. Lots o' psychodelic mindeffin' and talk of choppin' people's heads off. So imagine that same story in the hands of Tim Burton, who has a knack for stuff as off-kilter as this? Check out the pics below and see for yourself, but it looks hella promising. I've grown tired of the Burton/Depp team up after that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory debacle, so maybe they can win me back over.

Kinda scary lookin'.

Transformers Marketing Campaign not Explodey Enough for Bay

So now we are starting to see why Michael Bay decided to quit the franchise. In a leaked memo, the director reveals his ultimate dissatisfaction at Paramount's marketing for the highly anticipated sequel to Transformers. He says in the memo:

"Right now we are not an event. We are just a sequel, which is very different. There is no anticipation. Remember back to 'Spider-Man 2' -- it was everywhere,"

Bay called it "lame" an attempt to preview a few minutes of the movie at the MTV Movie Awards, and an "abject failure" the entire print campaign in well known movie magazines.

My opinion? So what? Look, Transformers sells itself. I thought the first movie sucked, but even I recognize that it was a global blockbuster, and that the sequel will probably surpass the original in terms of dollars. I think Bay was overreacting a little bit, but after watching another major franchise in Terminator go down the crapper perhaps he sees the effects a poor marketing campaign can have. Initial reviews of Transformers 2(it's already out overseas) have not been positive, so we'll just have to wait a couple of days to see how it goes.

Top Shelf at the Box Office: 6/22/09

My faith in the American moviegoing public hasn't been on such shaky ground since Beverly Hills Chihuahua was top dog(pun intended) last year. Apparently stale, formulaic, rom-coms featuring an aging badly before our eyes starlet are back in style. Shame as I am to say it, but Transformers 2 can't come fast enough.

1. The Proposal- $34.1M

I feel like I shouldn't even write anything about this movie. Yeah, it was Sandra Bullock's largest opening ever. And definitely Ryan Reynold's largest as a leading man. But let's face it, this won because there was precious little new competition this week. And it's reign will be about as long as Kane's run as world heavyweight champion(that's a WWE reference, kiddies). Transformers knocks this and everything else into orbit in a mere two days. Surprisingly, this is Bullock's 1st #1 in ten years. Anybody remember Forces of Nature? Yeah, me neither.

2. The Hangover- $26.9M/$153M

Sporting the 2nd lowest drop of the week, The Hangover ordered up another round to the tune of $27M in only 17 days. It's already experiencing a better hold than Wedding Crashers did 4 years ago, and at this rate will hopefully surpass that overrated film's $209M take.

3. Up- $21.3M/$224M

Up deflated about 31% this week, but it's still managed to earn enough to surpass the total from last year's Wall-E. I gotta admit I'm surprised by this, as I thought Wall-E is a far superior film. Either way, Pixar's reliability at the box office can not be overstated. They are a true juggernaut.

4. Year One- $20.2M

Probably about what could be expected from a comedy of this sort, but to me this total feels a bit flat. Featuring a bonafide star like Jack Black and a steady box office performer like Michael Cera, I guess I would've thought the studio would have higher expectations. Then again, they saw this thing as it was being made and probably knew not to expect much, and that's exactly what it delivered. Not much.

5. The Taking of Pelham 123- $11.3M/$43.3M

Mothaf*cker! Pelham crashed 52% percent from last week, one of the biggest 2nd week drops in Denzel Washington's career. The film never really got off to a bang up start, and it's well on it's way to obscurity.

6. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian- $7.3M/$156M

IMAX continues to work wonders for the Ben Stiller franchise, which holds the distinction of perhaps being the worst film with the best cast that I've ever seen. Still, the figures speak for themselves. People love watching Stiller get slapped around by monkeys and dead dictators.

7. Star Trek- $4.7M/$239M

A few weeks ago I stated that Star Trek would somehow still be in the Top 10 at the end of the summer. While that may not happen, I still feel compelled to report that Star Trek again had the lowest drop of the week at only 14%. That's crazy.

8. Land of the Lost- $3.98M/$43.7M

9. Imagine That- $3.1M/$11.4M

I just wish this thing had an astronomical budget, so that we could officially put this in those Pluto Nash areas. Y'know, those fiscally devastating studio crushing areas. Then maybe they would stop giving Eddie Murphy shit movies like this. At this stage of his career he is a 2nd tier player. He needs a career overhaul, and it looked like he was on his way to that with Dreamgirls but he didn't follow up on it.

10. Terminator Salvation- $3.07M/$120M

Chances of this film besting the total for the mediocre Terminator 3? Slim and none, and Slim just went out for cigarettes.

Also:

In it's 3rd week, Sam Mendes' road trip dramedy Away We Go continues to impress, pulling in an estimated $904,000 for a total of $1.97M. The film is only at 132 sites and boasts one of the highest per site averages of the week. While I'm a bit down on the film, I'm hoping it expands so that others can see it and decide for themselves. It does have some genuine moments.

It's shameful that a Woody Allen film isn't given wide release in this country anymore. His latest, Whatever Works starring Larry David of Seinfeld fame, had the highest per site average of the week. At only 9 sites, the film grossed a whopping $281,000. Wowsers.

Top Ten Anime Series of All Time

Anime lovers all have their own variation of what they think are the ten best anime series of all time. One of the reasons is that animes comes in all different flavors, so it appeals to all kinds of tastes. These are the animes that have made me think about my life, the world, and the future. When the series finished, I felt a sense of loss when these characters who I had let into my life were leaving. Below are my top-ten favorite anime series of all time:

10. Noir

noir_018, originally uploaded by coolkid

Noir is about two female assassins trying to find the secrets of their past. I will admit that the beginning of the series is a little slow, and I had to force myself to continue watching after the first few episodes. However, after that, I was mesmerized. The series was full of action and drama, and you were rooting for the characters when they battled others or themselves. This series makes you think about what inner demons you have within yourself, and how you should fight them. Everyone has things in the past that they want to forget about, and this anime makes you realize that unless you face them, you will never truly be free.

9. Captain Tsubasa

captain tsubasa, originally uploaded by Sildo Lildo

My sister and I were in Panama when we first heard about Captain Tsubasa (in Spanish, it's called "SuperCampeones"). We love soccer, so we were really into this anime series. The great thing about this anime series is that key players, regardless of their team, had their lives, good and the bad, highlighted. There are things going on in a person's life that you don't think about when watching a game. It gives a dimension to sports that people usually don't think about.

8. Candy Candy

candy_terry, originally uploaded by mscandyterry.

Whenever Candy Candy would come on, all the kids in the neighborhood would stop playing and run inside. It was a melodrama about a girl named Candy, and her quest from a little girl to a woman. When I was a little, I loved the anime, but I didn't fully appreciate the message it was conveying until my sister got it from Ebay when we were older, and we watched it. The experiences that Candy went through are the usual ones that all women have gone through - laughter, love, pain, and loss. It was so successful that Italy created a sequel to it where Candy and her true love Terry were reunited. Even with the obstacles that Candy went through, she always did it with a smile on her face. It showed me that you should always remain positive, even when you feel you have hit rock bottom.

7. Wolf's Rain

Wolf's rain, originally uploaded by vanhelsingrrr.

The last werewolves trying to find paradise against all odds. The kids and I loved this anime series from the start. It had one of the best beginnings I have ever seen before, and even til this day, it is practically unmatched. This anime made me feel hope that in the end, these four werewolves would find what they were looking for. Even with all the trials and tribulations that they faced, the four werewolves had an unwavering loyalty that was extremely noble. I realized that hope and loyalty are two of the best traits that a person can have. Do they reach paradise? Or are their attempts foiled? You will have to watch it to find out.

6. Gunslinger Girl

Gunslinger Girl, originally uploaded by Lara ੴ Lopes.

Little girls, who have been orphaned and had a horrific experience happen to them, have their bodies turned into cyborgs and their minds altered. They become the ultimate killing machines. It asks the question if human emotion is something that cannot be eliminated, even if a person's body is not human flesh. I was in awe with this anime, and I was not the only one. They have created a part II, but it hasn't ben translated into English yet. When it is, I am going to be the first one to watch it. I want to continue exploring, besides this girls, these questions.

5. Hellsing

Alucard (Hellsing), originally uploaded by Nahuel31.

This anime had all the qualities to be one of the bests: vampires, secret societies, and battles. The series is about the secret society that the vampire Alucard protects, and the fight against others who try to destroy their society and way of life. Alucard has this mysterious presence that makes you wonder who he is and how he became a vampire. It is really gory and bloody, but even if you are not into that, you should overlook it to see why it deserves to be in the top ten.

4. Neon Genesis Evangelion

Neon Genesis Evangelion (anime), originally uploaded by misiontokyo.

"Neon Genesis Evangelion" delves into religion and what it actually means to the individual. It is about three children who control the only machines that are able to defeat the "Angels" who are coming to Earth to kill the rest of the human race. The way the children maneuver them is by their minds. They have all gone through traumatizing experience, and their machine has a way of bringing out their internal struggles. One of my favorite characters of all times, Rei, is in this anime. She is a fascinating character that had different issues surrounding her presence. I just love her! This anime is unique in that it's the only one that combines religion, the psyche, and human connectivity.

3. Death Note

Death Note, originally uploaded by Lara ੴ Lopes.

What would you do if you were given the power to kill? Would you use it? It's something that everyone has always pondered, and this anime explores. The anime series has become so popular that there have been three real-life action films created from it. PunchyCritic went with me to see the last one, "How L Changed the Word." The plot is very intricate, and the mental battle between L and Light Yagami, and who is going to win. It's one of the reasons it is one of my top three.

2. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

Ghost in the Shell, originally uploaded by snowbirdkxt.

I could talk for hours about "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex." I was hooked after seeing the first film. After that, I watched everything that had to do with the anime. It's a future that I think that we are headed towards. One where human beings have robotic parts the enhances their abilities. The main character Major Motoko is the perfect anime character: beautiful, deadly, mysterious, complex, and unique. She has a complete robotic body after losing hers in a plane crash as a child. It makes you question if our souls can remain intact, even if our bodies don't. "The Matrix" copied a lot of ideas from this anime, so it shows that it was ahead of its time to have this influence on such an amazing movie. It's definitely a mind-boggling anime that you can watch over and over and over...

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1. Blood+

Saya13, originally uploaded by yokokurama66.

My number one favorite anime has to involve vampires and an ancient love story. I love this anime so much that I named my cat after the male main character Haji. It is based off of a short anime film called "Blood: The Last Vampire." Sidenote: A real-life action film has been created based off of the short anime. The anime series kind of ventures off on its own and makes Saya have more human qualities than in the movie. From the beginning that I watched this anime series, I was enthralled. The characters make you feel so much for them, even the bad ones, that you can't help but keep watching. There were some episodes that were so powerful that I actually shed tears. It was a great anime that made you wonder what would you do if you had to fight these vicious vampires. Even now, I re-watch it when I can because I can't get enough of the 52-episode anime series.

Honorable Mentions: Tenchi Muyo, Inuyasha, Dragonball Z, Paranoia Agent, Ninja Resurrection

The To-Do List: 6/20/09

Some of you probably already know, but I'm going through some rough stuff right now. I won't go into detail on it, just saying that if my posts are a little more sour than usual then that's probably why. The fact remains that movies have always been my escape hatch, so to speak. They've gotten me through a lot of rough patches, and I'll be relying on them to do the same now. That includes writing on this site, which I enjoy more than I ever thought imaginable, a lot of that thanks to our ever growing group of readers(thanks!!) and my brotha from anotha motha, John. While I'm thinking about it, I'd also like to introduce my friend Shevonne, otherwise known as DC Femella, who will be joining us as a writer. She brings a wealth of writing experience as well as a ridiculous knowledge of anime and cinema. So I hope everyone welcomes her aboard! Anyway, despite all that's going on, Hollywood never sleeps and neither do I.



So I actually went to see Year One yesterday, as it was a film I had something of a morbid fascination with. I knew from the trailers that this thing would be a disaster, but I wanted to know just how big of a disaster it would be. I'll withold my final criticism until my review. Year One stars Michael Cera and Jack Black as two cavemen on a mission to rescue the women they love from slavery. Sounds like fun!! The ads are billing this thing as a sort of prehistoric road trip movie. I think it aspires to be a stone age Superbad.



It's been 35 years since Francis Ford Coppola directed one of his own scripts. The legendary director's new film, Tetro, is the director's most personal yet. Tetro is the story of a family of talented but competitive artists, who's personal and creative differences have been ripping them apart for years. Coppola chose the controversial Vincent Gallo(Buffalo 66) to take on the lead role. This is a movie I've been looking forward to a long time, despite rumors of trouble on the set and script changes hurting production. I don't care. It's Coppola. That means count me in. Right now Tetro is only playing at the Landmark E Street theatre in D.C., but if it does well hopefully it will expand to more sites.



I'm a little weary of Food Inc., the controversial documentary about food production in the United States. The reason I'm weary is because I saw the film, Fast Food Nation, which this film is loosely based on. That film, while a work of fiction I believe, still covered a lot of the same ground this movie does. Also, I couldn't bring myself to eat a hamburger for literally months after watching it, thanks to the awful footage of the slaughter of cows and all that mess. I went to Wendy's a few days later and almost threw up at the site of a junior bacon cheeseburger. Not a joke. I got over that(oh, did I ever!), but I'm not sure I want to look that deep into the subject of where my food comes from. This one's a maybe. Food Inc. is also playing at Landmark E Street Cinema.

Also:

This Sunday I'll be joining the Metro DC Movie Fans Meetup(of which we will soon be a sponsor. I'm already an organizer for them) to see the Sam Mendes dramedy, Away We Go. We'll be at Landmark for this one, so if you're in the area why not come and join us? I'm hearing mixed things about this movie, but the meetups are always fun.

How sad is it that Woody Allen can't get a wide theatrical release anymore? His new film, Whatever Works, stars Larry David in the usual Allen role of an older neurotic guy who falls for a younger hot chick(Evan Rachel Wood). Hopefully this will come our way soon because I love Larry David, and Woody Allen still has moments of brilliance.

Michael Bay Quits Transformers Franchise?

Color me cynical, but I don't buy this for a second. WENN is reporting that Michael Bay is leaving the popular Transformers franchise in order to focus on making smaller, quieter films. Bay, who recently revealed a desire to take a break between Transformers: Rise of the Fallen and the third film, is known mainly as a big budget high octane action director. Small movies have never been his style, and apparently the director has heard the criticisms and complaints. He says:

"It's easy to go shoot an art movie in a winery in the South of France. But people have no idea how hard it is to create something like Transformers. They (the critics) review me before they've even seen the movie."

"After the three and a half years I've spent making these movies, I feel like I've had enough of the Transformers world."

"I need to do something totally divergent, something without any explosions."

Yeah, right. Look, I believe that Bay said these things. But do I believe him for a second? That he wants to ditch what has made him a very famous and very rich man in order that he can pull a Ridley Scott and go out and make A Good Year 2? No. I personally believe this is a negotiating ploy. Bay wants his break between films to stretch into 2012, while the studio is pushing hard for a 2011 release date for Transformers 3. Call it a hunch, but I think there's no way in Hell we see another director on this franchise other than Bay.

Because if it ain't him we'll be getting McG or Brett Ratner. You know I'm right.

Olivia Munn = Iron Man?

F'real? Variety is reporting that Oliva Munn, who can currently be seen as the apple of many a nerdy gamer's eye every night on G4's Attack of the Show, has scored a role in the upcoming Iron Man sequel. The hell? I'm sure she's just a reporter or something, but still. Ok, this is really just an excuse for me to post extremely hot pictures of Miss Munn. So sue me.





Unfair. We should all get one of these.

Red Dawn remake grows by 2

Looks like that Red Dawn remake is starting to round into shape. Chris Hemsworth, aka Daddy Kirk from this year's Star Trek, is already on board. Now, thanks to The Hollywood Reporter we're learning that Josh Peck, who I thought was great in The Wackness last year, has signed on to play one of rebellious Wolverines. Also slipping into the fatigues will be Adrienne Palicki, who some might recognize from the TV version of Friday Night Lights. Peck will be taking over the role of Matt Eckert, originally played by Charlie Sheen. Palicki will take on the role of Toni, a part played by Jennifer Grey pre-nose job.

Red Dawn is set to hit theatres in September, 2004.

The Talent Show: Jamie Chung

If Jamie Chung looks familiar, it might be because you're a loser like me and remember watching her on the Real World: San Diego back in '04. Yes, that's right. Yet another Real World alum has hit it big. I guess that makes her and Jacinda Barrett. Oh, and The Miz. What's that, 3 out of like 500? Whatever, Jamie Chung definitely has the goods. This hot, spicy, kimchi number has been busier than ever lately, most recently starring as the lone bright spot in Dragonball: Evolution. The San Francisco native can next be seen in the slasher remake, Sorority Row, a film with enough hot chicks to support The Talent Show from now til Thanksgiving.

Mission Impossible IV a Go!

Thanks to Spoiler TV for this story basically confirming that Mission: Impossible 4 is a go over at Paramount studios. Only this time, it looks like JJ Abrams, who directed MI:3 and most recently wowed audiences with his reinvention of the Star Trek franchise, may only be on board as a producer. Abrams is not yet committed to directing another installment, and with his prepping the next Star Trek film it'd be nearly impossible for him to meet the Mission targeted release date of 2011. Meanwhile, when not keeping Katie Holmes locked up on their compound, Tom Cruise is pretty busy himself with two films already in the works.

I'm going to project that the next Mission: Impossible film will be a "passing of the torch" type affair. Not to say that Cruise's Ethan Hunt character will be killed, but he might be playing less of a role. I can see somebody like a Ryan Reynolds coming in and making this more of a collaborative effort than we've seen in previous films. We shall see.

The Taking of Pelham 123

Both John and I sat through this thing together, and I think we both came up with the same words to describe it. Uninspired. Lazy. Illogical. I've grown weary of the yearly Denzel Washington bland action flick staple, and Pelham does little to change that. THat's not to say it's even a terrible film, it doesn't do enough to make me want to judge it either way. I neither love it nor hate it. It's simply forgettable, which to me is so much worse than anything else you can say about a film.

Washington takes on the role of Walter Garber, a dispatcher for the MTA, given the assignment due to some supposed shady dealing in his recent past. John Travolta, lookin' like an extra from Prison Break, is man known simply as "Ryder". Ryder and his cohorts hijack the Pelham 1 2 3 train, which just so happens to be on Garber's watch. They demand $10,000,000 in ransom, comparing the people on board to commodities. Ryder seems to have an odd infatuation with Garber, sensing perhaps a kindred spirit. More likely he was just batsh*t crazy and would've befriended an artichoke if it were on the other end of the microphone. Honestly, it's a little hard to tell. Ryder swings wildly from utter derangement to serene and friendly.

Typically I've had a hard time wrapping my head around Travolta as any sort of tough guy. I think the Look Who's Talking movies killed any chance of that working for me ever. But I will admit that he is perhaps the one thing that keeps this movie from being a total snooze fest. Denzel Washington seems to be coasting along in a lot of the choices he's making as an actor, and here is no different. There's nothing especially interesting about the Garber character, not even when they hand us a little bit of a twist about halfway through. It doesn't really change much, as he and Ryder already had some sort of a twisted bond before that. It might color your own perception of Garber, but ultimately is there ever any doubt that all of Garber's sins will be wiped clean somehow? Ofcourse not.

The script is written by Brian Helgeland, who's filmography is as scattershot as Pelham's plot. He's done some amazing stuff, like Mystic River an LA Confidential, but then some turdcakes like A Knight's Tale and The Order. Pelham feels like a story that had been propping up the leg of someone's desk the last few years. Ryder, hard nosed criminal that he is, basically gives himself away the first conversation he has with Garber. What's more, he achieves his entire goal for the crime about halfway through before he's discovered, yet sticks around for the endgame anyway. Makes no sense. Random subplots are thrown in with little to no resolution. James Gandolfini has a cup of coffee here as the Mayor, a lame duck with a sex scandal killing his approval numbers. At first it seemed like they might try and use that in an interesting way, perhaps have the Mayor make some controversial decisions in a bid to save his career, but he's basically a tag-a-long with no interest in the outcome. What was the point? There's a beef between Garber and his boss that goes nowhere fast. Improbable events occur that feel shoehorned in for no apparent reason and make no sense, such as having a motorcade race through NYC traffic to beat a deadline when they have a helicopter sitting right next to them. You know it's bad when John literally calls them out on it a second before one of the characters in the film tries to cover up for the obvious stupidity of it all by asking "Why aren't we using a helicopter"? I was hoping maybe this junk would get all meta and the writer could actually answer the character's question, but nope.

In a year if you ask me about The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, don't be surprised if I stare blankly at you for a few minutes. I actually had this happen with another of Denzel's throwaway flicks, Deja Vu, where I literally forgot I had seen it. Pelham has that same stink all over it.

5/10 Blah

Whiteout theatrical trailer-Leaked!

Greg Rucka is one of those writers you can always count on. He is a master at crafting gritty, hard boiled crime stories, which is why he was such a perfect fit when he wrote Batman for years. But he doesn't just do superheroes. Whiteout is the story of a U.S. marshall(the smokin' hot even in a parka Kate Beckinsale) sent to Antarctica to investigate a murder. She has to solve it in three days before the arctic winter begins.

This is the leaked trailer for the film, set to release on September 11, 2009. Slashfilm had it first, but it had to be taken down, but you can still find it....for now. Let's see how long this stays up. Frankly, I'm hella excited for this one.

Tetsuooooooo!!!! Akira film Dead as a Doornail!

I'm torn on this one. Bloody Disgusting is reporting that the live action Akira film, based on the classic anime about a biker who is experimented on giving him superhuman powers in post-apocalyptic Japan, is now officially dead. Reports are that director Ruairi Robinson, previously nominated for an animation Oscar in 2001, has left the project. The film was to be produced by Leonardo Dicaprio's Appian Way studio along with Warner Bros.

Like I said, I'm torn on this. Akira is one the best animes of all time, and it's pretty much the film that got me into Japanese animation to begin with. I was weary of an Americanized version(same way I worry about the Battle Royale remake), but also intrigued at the idea of seeing this great film brought to life. Obviously this isn't truly the end, as someone will eventually come along and make an Akira film, but it looks like we'll be waiting awhile for it.

New GI Joe theatrical poster

It's not hitting theatres until August 7th, which gives them plenty of time to release more cheesy looking trailers and posters featuring Storm Shadow with a gun(!!!). But on the plus side, look at Sienna Miller's ass. Hachi machi!

DiCaprio Looks to Flop the Nut Straight

Get your heads out of the gutter! For anyone that doesn't know, that's part of a line from the classic poker movie, Rounders.

Leonardo Dicaprio is attatched to star in a film on online casinos in Costa Rico. Doesn't sound too exciting, does it? But then you see it's written by the same guys who gave us Rounders, Brian Koppelman and David Levien, and that changes things a little, doesn't it? Just like that film, surely this will take a look at the seedier side of the business and won't just be a bunch of old folks plopping handfuls of quarters into slot machines.

Koppelman and Levien also wrote Ocean's 13 and The Girlfriend Experience, two films I could've done without ever seeing. Here's hoping this return to their bread and butter will reap better a better payout, so to speak.

Top Shelf at the Box Office: 6/15/09

Turns out the battle between The Hangover and Pixar's Up wasn't just a one-rounder. The two evenly matched but completely different flicks decided to extend this fight into the next round. Unfortunately for Pixar, the result remained the same as the the unexpected powerhouse comedy reigned supreme yet again.

1. The Hangover- $33.4M/$105M

Nobody could've seen it coming just how huge of a hit this film would be. Thanks to a remarkable ad campaign that highlighted just a few of the eye catching moments without giving away the joke, The Hangover has far exceeded expectations and typical returns for a comedy of this sort. In fact it only slipped in estimated 26% from last week, best of the top 10. Personally I'm just glad it's doing well enough that maybe people will stop talking about Wedding Crashers and Knocked Up as the best comedies of the last few years.

2. Up- $30.5M/$187M

Pixar's Up is well on it's way to taking the top spot as highest grossing film, rapidly gaining on both Monsters vs. Aliens and Star Trek. By comparison to last year's hit, Wall-E, Up is actually performing better by the tune of some $20M. Not too shabby.

3. The Taking of Pelham 123- $25M

Yet another mediocre Denzel Washington film doing middling business at the box office. I'm sure this is probably about what the studio expected, but that alone tells me that there aren't a ton of expectations for Denzel films anymore. This opening is about what all of his films make, which is average. Pelham's advertising was bland and uninspiring. The only real reason to see this thing is if you want to see Washington vs. Travolta, otherwise there were better options elsewhere.

4. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian- $9.6M/$143M

It won't go away. In fact it's pulling ahead of more recent films, a testament to this film's staying power and continued popularity.

5. Land of the Lost- $9.15M/$35M

On the other hand, this turkey is fading fast. It dropped 51% from last week and fell behind Museum 2, which has been out seemingly forever at this point.

6. Imagine That- $5.7M

I got somethin' you can imagine: an Eddie Murphy family film that's actually good. Both critically and commercially. What was the last one? Meet Dave? Crashed 'n burned. This one, which had an awful ad campaign featuring imaginary faeries from CNBC or something, was dying on the vine the instant it was announced. At this point, Murphy can't buy a hit film and I'm starting to wonder how much longer studios will invest in him.

7. Star Trek- $5.6M/$232M

8. Terminator Salvation- $4.7M/$114M

Continues to kick much robot ass overseas, where it was the numero uno film for a second straight week. That alone might be reason enough to continue the franchise.

9. Angels & Demons- $4.2M/$123M

10. Drag Me to Hell- $3.86M/$35.1M

Also: One of the most anticipated films for me is Moon, a sci-fi film starring Sam Rockwell and directed by Duncan Jones(David Bowie's son). At only 8 sites, it clocked in at a hefty $145,000. Moon will be expanding to more theaters over the course of the next month and I can hardly wait.

Francis Ford Coppola's new film, Tetro, starring Vincent Gallo as part of a family of contentious artists, opened well at only 2 sites for a total of $38,000. Tetro will be expanding to more markets in the coming weeks.

'9' Final Theatrical poster

A Punch Drunk exclusive, Focus Features just sent us the final one sheet for the upcoming film '9'. The CGI animated post apocalyptic fairytale about ragdolls looks this side of amazing and I can't wait to see it. The shear creativity alone makes it worth a watch but add to that the amazing visuals and you have a must see waiting to happen. Focus is a very underappreciated film company so let's hope that this one really puts them on the map!

If you haven't seen it yet here is the brilliant trailer for the film.

Editing is Half the Battle: Somers Fired from GI Joe?

So yesterday there this huge uproar that director Stephen Somers and producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura had been fired from the G.I. Joe movie due to it receiving the lowest test screening score in the history of Paramount. I had a sneaking suspicion that more was to come on this, so I didn't even bother posting about it. And today here comes the inevitable second act to this thing, as Lorenzo himself retaliated by saying:

"It's very unfair to Steve, its completely untrue he was never asked to leave or been fired or any of that," di Bonaventura said. "That's ridiculous. The movie tested very well. [Sommers] did a very good job, the movie tested well, and it couldn't be more false that the studio in anyway did anything negatively to Steve."

F'real, I don't even care who the director is because the film looks like crap. I know a lot of people loathe Somers, but I dig his Mummy films so he's not an instant turn off for me. But if he's responsible for those awful accelerator suits, the crappy looking fight sequences seen in the trailer, etc. then he deserves any and all criticism thrown his way. Others involved with the film have piped in to say that everything is hunky dory and that what we've heard isn't to be believed, but to me it all sounds like a bunch of people trying to push the toothpaste back into the tube. These rumors didn't come from nowhere, and too detailed to be completely fictional. The GI Joe film has been getting hammered by people thanks to the cheesy looking trailers, and I think the studio is doing everything in it's power to salvage whatever they can. I'm more convinced than ever that this movie is going to stink.

Thanks to FirstShowing.net for the rest of the story.

The To-Do List!

The list is short again this week, my friends. There's nothing coming out this week that has me excited in the slightest. In fact, I only saw one movie this whole week, and that was just to see The Hangover for the 2nd time. So what now? The solution is more Netflix, and maybe catching up on what I've been neglecting. Of course that's been my plan for the better part of a month and I've yet to actually do any of it. I'll try to rectify that now, so I hope nobody has any plans on seeing much of me this week!



I think my opinion of The Taking of Pelham 123 is pretty well known. I think the shit looks terrible. This is a remake of a remake once again pairing up Tony Scott with his meal ticket, Denzel Washington. Only this time it's Denzel vs. Travolta, in a match up that has all the crackling energy of a wet Ramen noodle. I can't express just how bad this looks, except to say that I've never been able to buy into Travolta as a tough guy(Look Who's Talking killed that image forever), and the "We need milk" line from the trailer is so over-the-top awful that this deserves to fail on it alone. Yet I'll still be there to see it if not tonight then tomorrow.



Away We Go is a film that seems to be quietly gaining some buzz, thanks to a funny but touching trailer featuring two of today's rising comedic stars: John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph. Then again I can't help but notice that the music from the trailer is pushing a lot of my desire to see this, and my fear is that it won't be nearly as funny without that perfect accompaniment. We shall see. Right now this is only playing locally at Landmark E Street cinema but should be expanding next week.



Anybody remember back when Michael Keaton was cool? Hard to believe he was the first(and best) Batman from the original series of movies. Lately he's been off the radar, but he did reappear a couple years back with an underrated film called Game 6. Now he returns not just as an actor but as the director of a film called The Merry Gentleman. It's about a depressed hitman who falls into a relationship with a murder witness. The film also stars Kelly MacDonald and Bobby Canavale. I'm very interested in this one. It also is playing at Landmark E Street cinema in the Nation's Capital.

Also out but I wouldn't go see if you paid me: Eddie Murphy's next big family turd, Imagine That, stinks up theatres tonight. I actually think this will do better than expected, if not be an outright hit, mainly due to the lack of new competition this week. The problem is that this film has been promoted terribly.

Agent Smith Joins The Hobbit

I think it's safe to say that we are huge fans of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I grew up with them, read them as a nerdy teen and an even nerdier adult. So I've been anxiously anticipating Guillermo Del Toro's vision of Tolkien's fantastic world. Maybe I haven't been paying much attention, but it seems like news on the flick has been slow coming over on this side of the pond. However we do get this one bit of news that is sure to make fans of the trilogy happy, and that is Huge Weaving has officially signed to reprise his role as Elrond. Del Toro was being interviewed on some BBC radio show and confirmed the news. Good stuff.

The Queue: Frozen River; Let the Right One In; Wendy & Lucy; The Lucky Ones

Damn, I've really fallen behind, haven't I? It's been atleast a couple of months since I've kept up to date on my Netflix viewing. In that time I've managed to catch 4 movies(ok, 5 but I don't wanna review Death Note at this point) and have finally started using the Xbox Live streaming video which is awesome I might add! Not quite as awesome as 1 vs. 100 on XBL, but it's close.

Frozen River


I've been anxiously awaiting my chance to catch Melissa Leo's acclaimed performance here ever since it breezed quickly in and out of theatres, and I was not disappointed. Leo stars as Ray Eddy, a poor mother of two kids struggling to get by in the north country of New York, near the Canadian border. Her no good husband just disappeared with all of their money that was set aside for her dream home, a "lavish" double-wide mobile home. In a desperate attempt to make ends meet, Ray teams up with Lila Littlewolf from the nearby Mohawk Indian reservation to smuggle illegal immigrants across the border. An outcast from her tribe, Lila is both a blessing and something of a curse to Ray, but the two form a bond borne out of desperation and fierce determination to carve some sort of life out of their bleak situations. Frozen River is unflinching and brutal, almost documentary like in it's presentation. It's a up close look at a tiny segment of this country the likes of which we never see portrayed on film. If anything, see it for Melissa Leo's performance, but I promise you'll be haunted by the story as well. 8/10

Let the Right One In



I remember this coming out roughly the same time as Twilight did, and people telling me to ignore the bubble gum Tiger Beat film and go see this instead. I wish I could've. Both films are romantic vampire films, centered around a relationship between a vampire and a human. Unlike Twilight, Let the Right One In actually feels natural. Oskar, a lonely, bullied 12 year old boy meets an equally lonely girl named Eli who lives in his apartment complex. After an icy welcome, the two find common ground in their mutual loneliness and become close friends. Oskar, however, fails to realize that his new found friend is a 200 year old vampire stuck as a child. Eli helps build Oskar's confidence, granting him the will to fight back against his tormentors.

I'll admit that I wasn't all that engrossed by this for the first 30 minutes or so. I found the kid playing Oskar to be extremely annoying and a downright horrible actor. Then I turned the English dubbing off and went to subtitles, which helped immeasurably(I prefer subtitled anyway). One of the things you can't ignore is how gloomy and quiet the entire film is. The director really takes a hands off approach to the shooting, similar to if Steven Soderbergh had directed it. The film is violent, but there is a quiet calm to all of it. The relationship between Oskar and Eli is mesmerizing because we just haven't really seen it's like on screen, atleast not presented in a manner such as this. I'd kill to see a sequel to this film taking place a few years later when he's nearly an adult and she's still a child. One thing I didn't think of, and this is a bit of a *SPOILER* so watch out if you ain't seen it yet: I didn't even think that Hakan(the guy Eli lived with) might have been in the same boat Oskar is in right now. Think about it, he's a human living with a vampire he clearly has feelings for. Was it possible that he and she loved eachother at one time, only he kept getting older and the relationship turned into a sortof father/daughter thing? Whatever. Very good film, and one I'm dying to revisit. 7/10

Wendy & Lucy


Much like Frozen River, Wendy and Lucy is the story of a poor woman on the verge of economic disaster. She's literally a few dollars away from the point of no return, and it seems like every day a new obstacle gets laid at her feet. Michelle Williams plays Wendy, who is trying to make drive in her beat up old lemon to Alaska for a chance at a better life. More work, more opportunity, a chance to start over. We're never really sure why her life has gone so wrong, we're left to fill in those blanks ourselves. Wendy's only companion is her dog, Lucy, who she struggles to feed when she can barely find anything to eat for herself. When Wendy's car breaks down in a little eyeblink of a town in Oregon, Wendy is at her wit's end. With little left, she finally loses the one thing she can ill afford to be without: Lucy.

Williams continues to prove herself one of the elite actresses of our time. She continues to challenge herself by playing deeply intricate characters, and every single time she comes out on top. I'm not as familiar with director/writer Kelly Reichert, but based on this I'm looking forward to seeing her critically lauded film, Old Joy. She certainly has a knack for keen observation, bringing to life the severe malaise of a person who is on the brink. Wendy is a non-person, somone who's fallen between the cracks, and her story is riveting stuff. 7/10

The Lucky Ones




Road trip movies are a dime a dozen, but few are as poignant and touching as The Lucky Ones. It's the story of three Iraq war vets returning home for different reasons. Colee(Rachel McAdams) is on leave and desires to return her boyfriend's guitar to his family. He died in Iraq saving her life. T.K.(Michael Pena) took shrapnel to the groin, an injury that threatens his ability to perform sexually. And Cheever(Tim Robbins), a grizzled long-timer finally completing his service and returning home to his family. What all three find is that the world they left might not be the best place for any of them anymore.

I was surprised by how funny this film was, going into it expecting yet another somber war film about disenfranchised soldiers returning to a world that doesn't really want them anymore. There is a little bit of that, especially in a scene at a birthday party where the pros and cons of the war are discussed, but also in the almost rote way that people repeatedly say "Thank you for your service". It's always followed up by some poor attempt by that person to equate their life to the sacrice being made by these actual soldiers. But I think Neil Burger, who previously directed The Illusionist back in 2006, manages to keep the tone of the film light without losing any of the story's power. The three stars have a well defined chemistry on screen that makes you want to see them stick together for the long haul. In particular I adored Rachel McAdams as Colee, a sexy but naive woman, she seems to be from a poor background and probably joined the army out of necessity. She's a true revelation here, probably my favorite McAdams performance to date. The Lucky Ones did miserable business at the box office, but hopefully people will check out this underlooked gem now that it's on DVD. 7/10

Next up on The Queue: 2008's Killshot

Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island trailer!

I'm a big fan of the last two Dennis Lehane novels that were adapted into two equally great films, Mystic River and Gone Baby Gone. So I was understandably psyched to find out that Martin Scorsese would be tackling yet another Lehane adaptation, Shutter Island, and that he'd be bringing along his BFF Leonardo Dicaprio. Shutter Island is the story of two federal marshalls sent to a remote island to investigate the disappearance of a murderer from a maximum security prison. This one looks more intense than the previous two Lehane films, but no less moody and dreary. I'm definitely lookin' forward to this. Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think!

Neeson "Taken" by A-Team Script?

So you're a...shall we say, "older gentleman" who just hit paydirt with a blockbuster action film that nobody saw coming. What do you do for a follow-up? You sign on to play John "Hannibal" Smith in the upcoming A-Team film, that's what. According to Variety, Liam Neeson is in talks to take on the role as the leader of a band of war veterans turned do-gooding mercs.

Also fresh off the astounding opening weekend success of The Hangover, Bradley Cooper is in early talks to take on the role of "Faceman" Peck in the film.

The A-Team is being directed by Joe Carnahan, and is produced by Tony & Ridley Scott. The film is set to be released in June, 2010. Filming is scheduled to begin in late August.

Two great choices. Neeson obviously showed he has the mettle for this type of role both in The Phantom Menace and most recently in Taken. Cooper definitely has the look of "Faceman" down pat. I'm not overly hyped for this movie because I'm sick of these TV adaptations, but this is welcome news indeed.

Whoops! Vol.23 take 2 coming soon.

If you're reading this Wednesday morning it should allready but up, but as anyone who listened to Vol.23 of the Punch Drunk Podcast the last few days probably knows....I f'ed up. Sorry. It seems in the editing bays of Punch Drunk Studios I wasn't paying full attention and edited some things out of order and some things just plain wrong. My mistake, the new polished and correct edition is now up for your listening pleasure!

1st Look at Mickey Rourke as Whiplash

Is that Whiplash or Maximus? We've all been wondering how the Comeback Kid would appear when he graces the screen in the Iron Man sequel, here he is lookin' like a Roman gladiator. For awhile it was looking like Rourke would be playin' the role of the Crimson Dynamo, another of Tony Stark's armored enemies, but this shot pretty much confirms otherwise. Obviously this is an early prototype of the Whiplash armor, which bares a resemblance to the early Iron Man suit from the first film.

Iron Man 2 is set to drop in May 2011, and also stars Robert Downey, Jr., Scarlett Johannson, and Sam Rockwell.

Shia Just says No to Y: The Last Man

Dude, f'real? In an interview with Superhero Hype, Shia Labeouf made it clear he has no desire to take on the role of Yorick Brown in a Y: The Last Man movie. His reason? The roles are too similar. Huh??

"You take Sam and you put a monkey on his shoulder," said LaBeouf of Yorick's sidekick Ampersand. "I don't know if it's that big a differential. It seems like he's the ordinary guy in an extraordinary situation again.

He added, "I'm not willing to make that movie currently, and may be too old to play the role by the time it does come around."

I'm not so sure Mr. Labeouf has read Brian K. Vaughn's classic series if he thinks the two parts are similar. Yorick is an extremely complex character, which he had to be given his situation as the last man on Earth surrounded by billions of women who simulataneously want to kill him and screw him. Sam Witwicky is just some dude along for the ride. His personality is still a blank slate, if you ask me. If there would be any similarity between the two characters on screen it would be because Labeouf is incapable of playing any role other than the one he plays in every single movie he stars in, whether that be Battle of Shaker Heights or Eagle Eye.

Frankly, I'm happy he doesn't want the part. Y the Last Man is arguably the best comic book series ever written, certainly in the pantheon of classics. If it ever gets off the ground it almost certainly will lead to a series of films that could stretch on for years. If I had my personal pick for the part of Yorick it'd be Ryan Reynolds. Maybe even Anton Yelchin. Two very different actors, I know, but I think they both bring more to the table than Shia ever could.

Land of the Lost

I'm starting to wonder what America ever saw in Will Ferrell. Sure, the guy was funny on SNL in measured doses of brilliance, but as a big screen actor he's left me sorta cold. He had some marvelous turns in Zoolander and Old School, but again he was not the focus of either of those movies. I've yet to see him really elevate anything beyond what's on the written page. For example, has he ever made what would normally be an average film great? Or even just good? Case in pont: Land of the Lost, which is a remake of the campy 1974 series about a family that finds itself lost in an alternate world that resembles the prehistoric age. Ferrell is the main draw, and he fails to generate more than the occasional chuckle.

What little charm the original series had is completely sucked away for little or no reason. One of those aspects is that this was a family stuck together, and so had to deal with family rifts and squabbles while stuck in this strange world. There's no real connection between the travellers now. In this version, Ferrell plays Rick Marshall, a quirky, some would say looney scientist who is obsessed with time travel. Quitting on his exeriments after an interview with Matt Lauer goes horribly awry, he is urged back by a sexy admirer name Holly(Anna Friel). The two set out to an abandoned theme park, where they, along with grungy tour guide Will(Danny McBride) are sucked away by a time warp into a land overrun by dinosaurs.

Lost seems to have no idea of what it wants to be. Promoted mainly as a family friendly adventure, the film is actually more than a little bit vulgar, with some pretty blatant sexual references thrown in for good measure. Not that this makes the film bad, but it's like they were trying to toe the line, so that it's neither raunchy enough to satisy the dirty old man like myself, nor squeaky clean enough for families. The film's one running gag is that there's a Tyranosaurs who has a mad on for Dr. Marshall for some odd reason, but it's the same gag repeatedly. Rarely has a man been chased by a T-Rex with so little threat of actual harm coming to him. There's some other stuff thrown in here with an alien race, but none of it really works. The only redeeming quality is Danny McBride, who just seems to be having fun with the whole thing. Oddly enough I see him the same way I used to see Ferrell. He's still young enough in his career where he's mainly doing high profile spot duty on major films, and he's excelled at it. The few times I've seen him as the lead figure(The Foot Fist Way, Eastbound and Down) I've been less than impressed. Hopefully when his time at superstardom comes, and it will, he won't throw himself at every lame script that comes his way. Will Ferrell could stand to re-learn that lesson.

5/10

Kirsten Dunst in Spider-Man 4, But Who's the Villain?

In an exclusive interview with the New York Post(that bastion of legit news, oh wait..), producer Todd Black let slip a few details. Most notably being that Kirsten Dunst is definitely on board. There had been some speculation that the extremely hot actress was tiring of the part and wanted to move on, with director Sam Raimin not knowing if she'd sign.

But what's also intriguing is Black's hinting as to whom the villain will be this go 'round:

"We're just coming up with who the villain's going to be now. We'll be shooting in New York again. Trust me, people will appreciate who we pick, because it'll be a big part of New York."

Wha? Speculation has it that it will be the Kingpin, since the rotund mob boss has ties everywhere from Manhattan to Hell's Kitchen. I have my doubts on this, though. First of all, I think there is some question as to whether or not the character can be used since he was last seen in the Daredevil film which is under a different studio. Also, they've seen fit to introduce yet another previously who would work just as well, and that's the Lizard. My personal opinion is that it will be one of the many Goblins (Green, Hob, or Demi), all of whom have ties to New York, especially since it was the Green Goblin who killed Peter's beloved Gwen Stacy(introduced just last film) atop the George Washington Bridge.

Hangover Pulls an UPset!

Yeah, take that Pixar! Ed Asner will never win the box office two weeks in a row! Muhahahahaha!!! Looking at the final totals, the crude comedy about a bachelor party that goes awry pulled ahead of Pixar's latest juggernaut after a stronger than anticipated Sunday performance. When was the last time there was a switch like this at the box office come Monday? Never happens.

The final numbers are as follows:

1. The Hangover- $45M

2. Up- $44.3M

What makes this even more impressive is that The Hangover played at 600 fewer sites than the Up. Not too shabby!

Top Shelf at the Box: 6/8/09

It's been a summer jam packed with action flicks so far, even moreso than normal. It seems like every week there's another one ready to snap up our hard earned loot. So it's a welcome surprise that essentially the top 3 films are a cartoon, a comedy, and a family adventure.

1. Up- $44.2M/$137M

Pixar's latest classic about an grouchy old curmudgeon who decides to airlift his house with balloons stayed afloat at #1, only losing about 35% from last week. The critically acclaimed film withstood the challenge of fellow family film Land of the Lost by more than double. Even with Imagine That, Eddie Murphy's next family comedy on the horizon, I still expect Up to remain firmly in the Top 3 if not at #1 for yet another week. No, I don't think The Taking of Pelham 123 will do anything. It looks terrible.

2. The Hangover- $43.3M

Just narrowly missing the top slot was The Hangover, my pick for funniest movie of the year by far. Surprisingly, analyst expectations were fairly low for this, but the amazing word of mouth helped push this ahead of some of the bigger name films around. I'm pretty sure the brilliant ad campaign, which highlighted just a few of the most eye opening moments(Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins, for example) while leaving you enough to wonder how in the heck they all happened. By comparison, The Hangover actually had a better opening than the last true monster comedy, Wedding Crashers, which is appropriate because Crashers sucked and The Hangover rocks.

3. Land of the Lost- $19.5M

Granted, Lost has a lot of competition this week, but that's no excuse. It actually has the distinction of having a lower opening weekend gross than last year's Journey to the Center of the Earth, which brought in $21M. F'real? This is all a Will Ferrell movie is worth nowadays? Homeboy needs to rethink this whole TV movie adaptation thing. Guess he forgot Bewitched blew somethin' fierce. They really screwed the pooch on this one by not being honest about the true nature of the film. The ads promoted this thing as a family friendly adventure, but it's actually pretty vulgar. Not to mention, there never really seemed to be a reason for this film to exist other than to have Ferrell do the same damn thing he does in every movie. It's gotten old.

4. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian- $14.7M/$127M

Ben Stiller's sequel continues to hold up pretty well, even though it's not probably not going to break the previous film's total. The film's total is still helped greatly by IMAX, which I can speak from experience makes the film marginally more enjoyable. Amy Adams on IMAX....yum.

5. Star Trek- $8.4M/$223M

I think Star Trek will still be in the top 10 when the summer finally winds down. It continues to have smallest audience drop of all the returning films, this time only losing 33%. Crazy.

6. Terminator Salvation- $8.18M/$105M

Floperoonie! Fumblerooskie! It's losing out to Terminator 3, yo. Claire Danes Terminator 3.

7. Drag Me to Hell- $7.34M/$28.5M

Feels like this film's been forgotten already, doesn't it?

8. Angels & Demons- $6.5M/$116M

It's the highest grossing film in the entire world at just over $400M according to estimates. But it's domestic gross has to be something of a disappointment, considering the phenomenal success of the original.

9. My Life in Ruins- $3.23M

It's no Greek Wedding, but that's not too shabby for only opening at around 1,100 sites. Then again, that's actually less loot than the dreadful Connie & Carla took in. Hmph.

10. Dance Flick- $2M/$22.7M

Seriously? Who are the people who chose to spend their money on this rather than The Hangover to quench their comedy thirst? They ought to be ashamed and open to public ridicule.

Also: Sam Mendes's Away We Go, featuring Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski, brought in a phenomenal $143,000 in only 4 sites. Wow. Focus Features(my favorite studio) is set to expand the film to more markets this week.

Next Terminator Film to be Set in London?

Rich Johnston at Bleeding Cool is putting forth a rumor that the next Terminator film will be set in London in the year 2011. The film will feature a time travelling John Connor(Christian Bale), but the reason for him being there is still a mystery.

Let's just get one thing out in the open: Terminator Salvation tanked. It cost somewhere north of $200M and has banked about $125M so far. There might not even be a fifth Terminator flick at this rate. Besides, they've already made a Christian Bale movie set in post-apocalyptic London. And that epically bad but forever quotable film is:

Shot of Perseus in Clash of the Titans remake!

It's possible that the original Clash of the Titans is the movie I've seen most in my life, not counting Empire Strikes Back. Considering that I saw it atleast three times in school, plus countless showings on TBS, my uncle shoving it down my throat on weekends(He would always yell "Unleash the Kraken!" at inappropriate moments). So not to say that I love the film, but I'm certainly familiar with it. Plus Greek/Roman mythology has always been something of a passion of mine. But I'm sensing something different with this remake, and maybe it's just me but i'm getting the same vibe I got when Troy was being made. It's almost like they're going for something grittier, more grounded, and maybe a bit less fantastical than I'm used to. It worked out spectacularly well for Troy, so we'll see how it works here. Just that shot alone has me thinkin' this is going for more of a God of War-type look. I gotta say I'm diggin' it a little.

The To-Do List!

Right now I'm sitting in my beat up old desk chair watching Danny McBride try to come up with something good to say about Land of the Lost on the Today Show. This is not an encouraging interview, and he has that look on his face the same as when I saw him talking about Eastbound & Down, which I tried to watch and couldn't stomach more than 5 minutes of.

The Hangover



I saw this on Tuesday, but that doesn't mean it's off my list. Like I said in my review, there is so many laughs in this that you will miss most of them because you're still laughing at the last joke. The Hangover is worth seeing, going out and gettind drunk with your homies, then going to see it all over again.

Land of the Lost



So why do I give a shit about Danny McBride's inability to sell this stale looking slab of a film? Because I'm leaving to see it in about twenty minutes, and I am decidedly unexcited. Will Ferrell is arguably the most overrated actor in Hollywood, but people seem to keep forgiving him all the crappy films because once every two years he does a decent one. He's best in measured doses, and the trailer looks like this will be All Ferrell, All Overacting, All the Time.

This is a pretty soft weak for new films, actually. If you're wondering why I didn't list Nia Vardalos's return to the big screen, My Life in Ruins, it's because I couldn't have less desire to see it than if they were handing out free circumcisions with admission. Besides, I still have the bad taste in my mouth after Connie & Carla. That leaves me with plenty of time to catch up with Rudo y Cursi, and maybe even Jessica Biel's foray into period pieces(every rising actress goes through this phase) with Easy Virtue. Actually doesn't look too bad and I'm curious to see how she handles herself.

A Peek at the Highlander reboot script!

I watched practically every episode of the Highlander TV show starring Adrian Paul. Don't know why. It just clicked with me for some reason. I pretty much ignored the movies, though. Something about Christopher Lambert was an instant turn off. Might've had something to do with Sean Connery stumbling his way as a Spanish dude with that thick Scottish accent. What I didn't expect was that enough people gave a damn about the franchise that any studio would feel compelled to relaunch it, but that's exactly what's happened and by the sound of it, it might suck a little. Just a little.

For those that don't know, Highlander tells the story of Connor MacLeod(OF THE CLAN MaCLEOD!!), member of a race of Immortals. These Immortals are destined to battle eacother in combat until only one remains, and that final Immortal will receive "The Prize" or somethin'. One of the coolest things about Highlander was that each fight was one-on-one, with a bladed weapon of some sort. So you got cool fights, cool characters, and so forth. Even the TV show managed to make this aspect watchable throughout it's years.

Apparently the new writers feel something different. Art Marcum and Matt Holloway both worked on the Iron Man film, and apparently they've become obsessed with having big guns and weapons in every movie they write from here on out. According to CC2K, this new Highlander features Immortals wielding sniper rifles and shit. That doesn't sound like any Highlander I wanna see.

David Carradine found dead.

It is being reported that prolific actor David Carradine was found dead in a Bangkok hotel room. Carradine is best known for his work on the television series 'Kung Fu', as Bill from 'Kill Bill' Vol 1&2, as well as countless other works. The BBC is reporting that the death was not from natural causes, that he was found with a rope around his neck and body this morning, this is currently under investigation. Carradine was 72 and will be missed by countless fans. Thanks for your work David and rest in peace.

Link to the BBC article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8083479.stm

The Hangover

I'll admit that even though I was highly anticipating The Hangover, I was also ready for disappointment. The trailer was simply too funny, and often times that means all the good jokes have been spent to lure you in. Also, it's directed by Todd Phillips, who has a brutal track record of movies I either hated outright or liked once then learned to hate(Old School the chief culprit). But what he and writers Jon Moore and Scott Lucas have managed to create is without a doubt the funniest, non-stop hilarious movie I've ever seen. And that includes my beloved Superbad and Top Secret.

The premise is refreshingly simple: Doug(National Treasure's Justin Bartha) is due to get married in a couple of days. His buddies Phil(Bradley Cooper) and Stu(Ed Helms) decide to take him to Vegas for one last night as a free man. Along for the ride is Doug's soon to be brother-in-law Alan, who looks like a squished down Unibomber. What happens there is a night none of them would ever forget, possibly because none of them will ever remember it!

You've all seen the trailer so you know what happens. The guys wake up after an intense night of partying, gambling, and drinking, completely unaware of anything that happened. The room looks like it was first hit by a bomb, then was overrun by circus clowns, then had an episode of Wild Kingdom taped inside. What's worse, Doug is nowhere to be found. The three friends must now piece together the pieces of their fractured memories of the previous night and find the groom before all Hell breaks loose.

The Hangover never lets up. Not even for a second. From the moment the guys wake up, something in literally every scene will have you chuckling if not howling with laughter. Whether it's a smoking couch, an errant chicken, or a naked Asian gangster wielding a crowbar like a samurai sword. Yes, that's what I said.

Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of the movie to me was that we really get the sense that we're along for the ride with these guys. We're just as much in the dark as they are, trying to piece together all these disparate elements of their wild evening. At no point are we privy to any more information than the guys are. The script is wonderful in that sense. They also manage to get across the different personalities of these three very different friends. Bradley Cooper's Phil is the ladies' man who's formerly fun life has been shackled due to marriage. Stu is the somewhat reserved(atleast when sober!), nerdy guy with a shrew of a girlfriend. Alan is the odd man out. Not really a friend in the beginning, he's sorta like when your parents would make you take your little brother out with you with your friends. He's the unpredictable one, and the catalyst for most of the craziness that takes place. The only one who we don't really get to know is the character the entire film is centered around, and that's Doug. Not that he matters. Truly the only character anybody really cares about is the Heavyweight champion of the world, Mike Tyson. You know it's been an awesome night when Iron Mike is in your living room doin' air drums to Phil Collins. It's especially cool if you just recently saw Tyson open up in his documentary, and you get the idea that he knows the way he's perceived intimately and is more than happy playing up to that persona. He did the same thing to some acclaim a few years ago in the dreadful film, Black & White. He's just as menacing here playing himself yet again, but I ain't gonna say why and spoil it. Honestly his reason for even being in this thing is too rich to ruin.

Unfortunately I've only been to one bachelor party of which the highlight was watching the world's ugliest stripper fall off a swing on stage. Funny, yes. The stuff of legend? No. Certainly nothing half as fun as I had tagging along with these guys for 90 minutes. There are so many huge laughs and they come so fast that you will miss them, so count on seeing this thing more than once to catch up. And don't forget to stay for the credits. You will not regret it.

9/10

Ok, Kill the 80's Already!! Stretch Armstrong!!?

Seriously, I know the 80's are big again right now especially old properties from our childhood. But Stretch Armstrong!!? Really? I can understand GI Joe and Transformers, even Thundercats. Stretch Armstrong on the other hand was a ridiculously sorry toy with no replay value, and if you stretched the bastard too much(the entire point of the toy!!) he got all limp and you had to throw his bitch ass away or burn him up the way we did.

Rumors about a Stretch Armstrong film have been flyin' around for months, but Universal and Hasbro finally confirmed their commitment to the project. Brian Grazer is producing for some reason, and Steve Odekirk is to pen the script. Stretch is scheduled to snap back into theatres on April 15, 2001.

I wonder if they'll include his dog, Fetch Armstrong.

Blessed Be the Thor Rumors

Who here is old enough to remember Flash Gordon? The live action movie, that is. Show of hands? Hm, not many. Ok, well if you do then you probably remember the King of the Hawkmen, don't you? The fat guy with the ZZ Top beard and big ass wings? Yeah, that guy. Well he's still workin'. I know, who'da thunk it? Well his name is Brian Blessed, and apparently he's pretty well known to the British, including one Mr. Kenneth Branagh who has cast him to play Odin in his upcoming Thor film. Atleast that's the rumor according to Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston. Check it out for yourself right....here.

Dance Flick :-(

Dance Flick

I know some people think I'm crazy when I say that the Wayans Brothers haven't done one good thing since I'm Gonna Get You Sucka(The Five Heartbeats doesnt count). And while I'm respectful of all opinons I really must say that they are all completely wrong. There was a time when the Wayans' knew how to truly spoof a genre, or lampoon a specific social issue, with intelligence by being absolutely absurd. I point you in the direction of Hollywood Shuffle as example numero uno, which made fun of a wealth of topics while focusing mainly on the idea of tokenism in film. Most of the people I argue with point to Scary Movie as an example of a good Wayans film, to which I wholeheartedly disagree. It's watchable by comparison to everything else they've done, but good? Computer say no.

There is a sense in Dance Flick that perhaps the Wayans' are attempting to pass the baton, so to speak. And if that's the case then I would say they dropped it and the Angolan team just sped off to a victory lap. Dance is yet another in a long line of disastrous "spoof" comedy films that have all the creativity and insight as the writings on a bathroom wall. In fact the biggest leap to originality that they could muster was the use of the word "Flick" to separate themselves from their former "Movie" franchise, which has death spiraled over the last couple of years. Damon Wayans, Jr. stars as Thomas, doing a weak parody of the Sean Patrick Thomas character in Save the Last Dance. The extremely plain looking Shoshana Bush plays Megan White, rich white girl in the vein of Julia Stiles in the same film. Thomas is a street dancer. Megan a former ballerina or something, they never quite make it clear since the one time she does dance she just kicks people in the grill. Thomas takes it upon himself to help the new girl along, and ofcourse they fall in love...atleast when nobody of their own race is around(ha ha that's funny, right?)

Old standbys Keenan Ivory Wayans and David Alan Grier make token appearances here, and if anything they serve to accentuate just how far they all have fallen. Wayans shows up as the shady emcee of the underground dance battles, in a direct parody of movies like You Got Served and Stomp the Yard. Does he do anything funny with it? No. Grier plays an extremely fat gangster whom Thomas owes money to. Funny? Does it sound funny? Honestly? Ofcourse it's not. It's about as funny as Grier's Chocolate News program which lasted for an eyeblink of time on Comedy Central.

Flick dredges up the typical Wayans gags that haven't made anyone outside the methodone clinic laugh since 1990. Seriously? These are your parodies?

We wanna poke fun at Hairspray. Ok, so the idea is to just have a fat chick who looks like Tracy Turnblad. Does she do anything funny to show why she needs to be parodied? No, she just resembles her. Oh.

We wanna poke fun at Step Up 2 The Streets. Ok, so the idea is to have a guy who looks like the cleancut whiteboy from that film. Does he do anything funny to show why he deserves to be parodied? No. Oh.

I wanted to exit the Laugh Free Environment that I was watching this mess in, but felt obligated to stay to see how lame the ending would be. Early in the film I predicted an awful parody of Twilight, since I felt that no Wayans film would be complete without jabbing a pointy stick at whatever the biggest phenomenon was regardless of whether it fit with the premise or not. Lo and behold, the movie capped with a limpdick Twilight closing, where one of characters turns into a vampire. Lucky guess? Maybe. Predictable? Absolutely. Dreadful all the way around.

2/10

Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex--FIRST LOOK!

Thanks to /Film here are the first shots of Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex in the new comic book adaptation. Admittadley I don't know to much about the Jonah Hex character other than that he's a gunslinger and is horribly scarred on one side of his face. I think it's time for another good western and if Brolin took it we can put some faith in a good script at least. Also starting is Megan Fox who we all saw in that corsett outfit from a few weeks ago. My only real problem with the shot is that he doesnt look "Horribly" scarred....not like the comics at least, here's a shot from the comic for comparison.





And just in case you missed the Megan Fox pics....here ya go!

Shrink theatrical trailer

Normally this isn't the type of film I get excited over. The story of a shrink who's life is falling apart around him sounds exactly like the type of thing I watch with my hands covering my eyes. However, the cast for this one intrigues me. Well, not Kevin Spacey. He's rather annoying. No, I'm talking about young Keke Palmer, who some might remember from one of my favorite movies of '07, Akeelah and the Bee. I've been anxious to see what this up 'n comer had around the corner. I'm predicting future stardom for her. Count on it. Shrink also features the talents of the lovely Saffron Burrows, Dallas Roberts, and Pell James.

MAKE THIS STAR WARS MOVIE NOW!!!!

Ok, how can Lucas redeem the Galaxy far far away after the prequels (which I enjoyed, mind you)? THIS is how, he needs to get his video game people on his film crew! The Force Unleashed was awesome, and had a good story but was not epic...The Old Republic however looks like a massive story waiting to be told. Hell if they replaced the Order 66 scene from Revenge of the Sith with this scene instead of Anakin just walking in the movie wouldv'e gained 10 pts immediatley. Wonderfully chroeographed fights, awesome weapons, great music, and who hasn't wanted to see an out and out Sith Vs. Jedi battle royale!?!? Sorry geek neurons are on overdrive but it just pisses me off because of it's awesomeness, it shows you the potential is there for great film that we'll never get. Forget Live Long and Prosper, after watching this trailer I'm back all in for May the Force Be With You!

Up, Night at the Museum 2, Drag Me to Hell

I've been off the 8-ball(is that the correct phrasing) for the last few days, as it seems like I'm letting everything pile up around me. I finally cleared out my Tivo this past weekend, finally watched Let the Right One In and Mysterious Skin, and so what has suffered has been my movie reviews. So for that I apologize. But you guys probably know by now that I only do long reviews of the movies I'm seriously jonesin' for, none of which are in the upcoming group.

Up



The first twenty minutes or so of Up are easily the most emotional stuff Pixar has ever done. I'm not gonna say it got dusty in the theatre or anything. To this day there's still only one film that's ever made me tear up and that's Big Fish. The opening sequences feature a brief glimpse at a quiet but imaginative kid named Carl, who meets his soulmate in the wild haired, wide eyed Ellie. The two fall in love, get married, and grow old together always with the promise of adventure just around the corner. Ellie and Carl promise to move to Paradise Falls one day, but life keeps getting in the way. When Ellie passes away, Carl's life is in ruins, but he vows to keep his promise to her in the only way he knows how, which I guess isn't to charter a flight but to tie baloons to his house and float there. What Carl doesn't realize is that he's managed to pick up a stowaway in the form of a cub scout named Russell, a talkative, inquisitive, lonely kid a lot like Carl was in his youth.

I should learn never to doubt Pixar's ability to tell an entertaining, emotional story. I think if there is one thing that separates them from their chief rival, Dreamworks, it's that Pixar has the uncanny ability to make every one of their films emotionally resonant. Like I said, the stuff with Carl and Ellie will pull at your heart strings and make you feel the pain of this bitter old curmudgeon. It might cause you to rethink some of your own opinions about the elderly and why they seem so damn sour all the time. However I have to admit that the story beyond that failed to connect with me. The story goes off in a wildly different direction once they reach their destination. Carl and Russell befriend a rare bird, run into talking dogs, and encounter an enemy who threatens to ruin everything. It all felt very standard, and by comparison to the aforementioned stuff it pales by comparison. Still, it's hard to deny that Up is imaginative, bouncy, and fun most of the time. The 3-D does little to add to the movie, by the way, so don't sweat it if your theatre doesn't have it.

7/10

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian



You can almost feel the writers bending themselves into an Auntie Anne pretezel to try and come up for a reason for this film to exist. Larry Daley(Ben Stiller) has moved on from his night security gig and is now head of his own company, manufacturing crappy devices and selling them on TV like the ShamWow™ dude or that Oxy-Clean bozo. It's made him rich, and he's been neglecting his little marble buddies at the museum, and they're getting lonely. And more than a little disgruntled. What's worse, they're being packed away for good, sent off to the Smithsonian to sit idle in the basement, never to wake up and cause mischief again. Awwwwwww!!! *frowny face* Oh, and now the little buggers are being threatened by another warlord with plans to rule not just the museum, but the WORLD!!!! Muhahahahah!!!

Who cares? I don't. Night at the Museum was a surprise, really. More fun than I expected, and loads more fun than it's boring sequel. Apparently the cure for a lackluster story is to just overload the thing with recognizable faces, and so we get the additions of the amazingly sexy Amy Adams as Amelia Earhardt. She is literally the only thing worth paying attention to, as she brings a wealth of energy to the role that nobody else can come close to matching. Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan appear to be sleepwalking, and don't even get me started on Robin Williams who is in this thing for about as long as Michael Spinks lasted against Mike Tyson. Hopefully this will be the last of the Museum flicks, but an Amelia Earhardt spinoff featuring Adams is an idea I can get behind.

4/10

Drag Me To Hell



I shouldn't have worried. Sam Raimi has only let me down one time,and even he would admit that Spider-Man 3 wasn't his best work. After more than two decades away, he has managed to breathe a bit of life back into the stagnant horror genre. What's more, he's done it while maintaining a hard PG-13 rating, a feat I thought all but impossible after years of deli thin horrors with few frights and even fewer laughs. Drag Me to Hell perfectly combines genuine thrills for over the top comedic violence, not unlike the Army of Darkness films that made Raimi a known commodity. Alison Lohaman was the perfect choice as Christine(it was supposed to be Ellen Page), an ambitious loan officer at a bank who makes the unfortunate mistake of denying an old lady an extension on her mortgage. She should've known better. Homegirl had all the earmarks of a crazy gypsy chick. She walked through the door lookin' like she had been cursed her whole life, and you wanna f*ck with her house? It was a bad call, Ripley. Christine is cursed, destined to be dragged to Hell within 3 days by a demon goat thing, who proceeds to make everything in her life go pear-shaped first. Christine's only chance to appease the demon, or pass the curse off to someone else.

Raimi knows how to push the audience's buttons, and that's exactly what you want out of a horror film. Most people could give two craps about a loan officer for a bank right now, but how the heck do you ignore the innocent, helpless looking Lohman? She's too cute to hate(Page could never pull that off)! Raimi seems to be thriving in the environment, simulataneously forcing you to jump from your seat while holding back the urge to gag. Truly he's having a ball getting the chance to flex these unused muscles again after so long. While there might be a little bit of message mixed in there about putting your wants ahead of the needs of others, that stuff is secondary to the next fright just around the corner. I'm hesitant to call this Raimi's best film, but it's definitely the most fun. I'm hoping he gets a chance to stretch out on stuff like this more often.

8/10

Megan Fox on Wonder Woman

This story is a few days old, and frankly I'm not even all that interested in the fact that Megan Fox thinks Wonder Woman is lame, thus she won't be starring in any films featuring invisible planes. It's really just an excuse for me to post this picture.

Ryan Reynolds Calming Fears about Deadpool Spin Off

Deadpool is my favorite comic book character. Period. So you can imagine how pissed I was at how badly he was handled during that crappy Wolverine movie this year. Y'know, that guy who was supposed to be Deadpool but didn't look like Deadpool nor talk like Deadpool then became a power repository unlike Deadpool and had his mouth sewn shut? They've been working on a spinoff for the Merc with a Mouth, but frankly I was hoping the whole thing would die on the vine. I'd rather there be no Deadpool movies ever if that was how he was to be treated.

But from the sound of it, Ryan Reynolds knows what the fans are expecting. In an interview with Hitflix, Reynolds makes his love for the source material well known:

"I'm intimately involved with it," Reynolds said. "We're just trying to break a story right now and figure out who the villain is going to be and all that stuff. But, it's going to be just like the comic books. I'm gonna have a messed up face and you may see some flashbacks of Wade earlier in his life, but primarily what you see is what you get in the comics and that's the goal. And there is no better place to draw material from then the comics which are incredible."

He then went on to say in an interview with IGN:

"I would like to make him self-aware; I'd like to have a bit of a pop-culture air going on throughout the film. I mean, the greatest villain in a Deadpool comic is Deadpool. There's a lot you can do there, but you've gotta ask, 'Who's the boss? Who's the guy he's going up against?' But it's breaking the fourth wall; it's including all those things in a way that works, but it's not nearly as hard as it sounds. It can really be done. And people tend to overlook the greatest resource we have, which is the comic book. If it can be done in the comic, it can be done on film in a way that's just as much fun to watch for people who know nothing about the character than for people who are obsessed with the character."

Deadpool breakin' the fourth wall? Basing this film off of the amazing Deadpool comics(hopefully the early stuff not the current Daniel Way stuff)? I'm sold. If done right, a Deadpool franchise could be a serious force to reckon with and would easily eclipse that lame ass Wolvie flick.

Top Shelf at the Box Office for 6/01/09

If I had any money, I'd invest in Pixar. I'm pretty sure I own some Pixar stock in the movie stock exchange game thingy I used to play and have ignored because of the way the Jena Malone stock has been devalued of late. This week saw the release of two major nationwide releases that couldn't possibly be more different. I caught both of 'em, and liked them both for what it's worth.

1. Up- $68.2M

That makes 10, count 'em 10 blockbusters in a row for the geniuses at Pixar. They simply can not make a film that tanks, even when using concepts that sound fairly pedestrian. In terms of rank, this is the third highest grossing film in the bunch, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's Ed Asner's highest grossing film ever!!! Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Up also is the first Pixar film to capitalize on the 3-D craze, with the feature accounting for approximately $35M of the total. Not too shabby, but I'm guessing the actual added benefit was neglible(as it was in the movie itself). This one is all about the unique marketing campaign, and Pixar's well established reputation. The only real threat on the horizon for Up is the upcoming Ice Age film, which has done monster business on it's own the last few years. That film doesn't release for another month, so expect many weeks of huge business and a surefire $200M success.

2. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian- $25.5M/$105M

There's really only room for one family comedy to reign supreme at a time, so ofcourse last week's champeen plummeted some 53%. That's still a pretty damn good total for 10 days, but nothing compared to the previous installment. As it stands right now, this one will fall short of the previous film's total of $250M. So in the battle of Carla Gugino vs. Amy Adams, Gugino and her succulent knockers are gonna come out on top. Because obviously that's what this little contest is all about. Hooters.

3. Drag Me to Hell- $16.6M

I'm as big a fan of Sam Raimi as anyone, but I hated the TV campaigns for this great film. They were far too reminiscent of the much lamer PG-13 horror films that have come out recently, when by any comparison Drag is a totally different beast. I think that may have hurt them a little bit, which is why it's opening isn't as large as some other horror films that have come out recently. Still, this is an impressive open for a genre movie with little name recognition other than it's director, who's last film was a turd sandwich(spider-man 3).

4. Terminator Salvation- $16.1M/$90.7M

I'm hesitant to call this a bust, but surely the studio must've expected more. I'm of the opinion that a franchise like Terminator is only appealing to a certain segment, especially at this stage where we are really diving headlong into a story that only die-hard Terminator fans will give a crap about. Somewhat poor word of mouth seems to be doing a better job of killing John Connor than any robot ever could.

5. Star Trek- $12.8M/$210M

Party at Worf's crib! JJ Abrams' reboot of the classic franchise is now 2009's top grossing film, finally surpassing Monsters vs. Aliens for the title. I expect that the remarkable success will lead to a bevy of other reboots of classic franchises: a younger Godfather film helmed by Catherine Hardwick; a young Indiana Jones featuring Zac Efron; and Brett Ratner's version The Dollars Trilogy, starring Jackie Chan.

6. Angels & Demons- $11.2M/$105M

It just feels strange how insignificant this movie seems to be. Perhaps they would've been better off holding it until the Spring.

7. Dance Flick- $4.9M/$19.2M

Now that I've seen this garbage(for free thank God) I can honestly say that what little comedic talent the Wayans' once had died with I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. You can make all the claims you want about Scary Movie, but just sit down and watch that back to back with Hollywood Shuffle and let me know which one you laugh at more.

8. X-men Origins: Wolverine- $3.9M/$171M

9. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past- $1.91M/$50M

10. Obsessed- $665K/$67.5M

Also: So how did The Brothers Bloom fare in it's first week in wide release? Not too bad, actually. In terms of the charts it finished at 11th place with a total of $665,000. Not bad considering it's only at 148 theatres for a hefty average of $4,405. That would place it 4th amongst the top 10 films of the week. Approximately $30 of those dollars coming from yours truly alone, with possibly more to come.

A lot of love for Jessica Biel's period piece, Easy Virtue, which had the 2nd highest per site average of all the top 25 films, raking in $361,000 at only 26 sites.