I’ll be real honest and upfront and admit this before
I even get my review in gear: I expected to hate Here Comes the Boom. I’m not a
huge fan of Kevin James, especially because it seems like his chubby everyman
act is just as tired as Adam Sandler’s overgrown teenager bit. Another movie
about mixed martial arts and the UFC, Warrior, came out last year and wasn’t
that amazing. And how was this movie going to effectively tie together MMA and
arts education, anyway? Are those two things even compatible?
Well, truth be told, I’m kind of a jerk, because
Here Comes the Boom is actually not so terrible! It’s not great or classic or
that imaginative by any means, but I did — and I counted — genuinely laugh between
six to eight times during the 105-minute runtime. That’s a lot for me! Well, a
lot more than I expected from a movie where I’m supposed to believe James as a
successful MMA fighter, anyway.
Here Comes the Boom is directed by Frank Coraci (who also directed 2011’s Zookeeper, starring James, and the Sandler films TheWaterboy and The Wedding Singer) and written by James, Allan Loeb (who has also written the comedies Just Go With It, The Dilemma, The Switch, and some other things), and Rock Reuben (who also wrote Zookeeper and a bunch of episodes of The King of Queens, James’s old sitcom), so it’s pretty much an all-James affair. He’s surrounded himself here with people he’s comfortable with and trusts, so it’s not surprising that the movie actually kind of works, at least for James, anyway.
Anyway, on to the plot you will read and then
immediately realize is your typical underdog story: James stars as Scott Voss,
a biology teacher at a Wilkinson High School who once cared about his job — a
decade ago, he was named teacher of the year — but has since become mired in the
frustrations of bureaucracy and budget cuts. His constant lateness draws the
ire of Principal Becher (Greg Germann), and the two don’t like each other much
anyway, so when Becher announces that further cost-slashing will eliminate the
music department, and tenure-track teacher Marty Streb’s (Henry Winkler) job,
Voss gets fired up. He decides that he’ll raise the $48,000 needed to keep the
program and Streb around, earning the respect and cooperation of his crush,
school nurse Bella Flores (Salma Hayek). Success! Maybe they’ll get together!
Smooches!
But like, there’s still the problem of getting that
money? Before the end of the school year? And Voss’s citizenship classes at
night to hopeful immigrants aren’t really bringing in the big bucks. So,
encouraged by citizenship student Niko (retired MMA fighter Bas Rutten, who is
undeniably the best part of this movie), Voss decides to start entering fights
on purpose, and losing them on purpose, to collect the prize money — that is,
until he accidentally wins one bout. And there’s something inspired in Voss,
some inkling to prove himself, that sees him, Niko, and Streb decide to start
really going for these wins. And when the UFC comes calling, Voss knows he can’t
screw up — both so Streb can keep his job, and Voss can keep his dignity.
This is all totally, exactly what you would expect,
right? Disenfranchised, aimless middle-aged slacker finds his calling in an
unlikely but masculine endeavor that inspires him to re-spark his passion in
teaching, which draws the admiration of his friends and family and ups his
attractiveness to women. Obviously, that is the expected cliché we’re dealing
with here. But Here Comes the Boom is determined to be weird and odd and kind
of charming, and so we become easily, readily enamored with Rutten as eccentric
coach Niko, teaching classes like “disco street fighting” at a local gym to pay
his bills while he trains Voss. He’s big and muscly and could clearly crush us
all, and yet he’s purely lovable belting out Journey songs, or talking about
how “yoga makes me emotional,” or grinning gleefully with Winkler. Rutten is,
hands down, my new favorite person after seeing Here Comes the Boom. 
There are other things here that work besides
Rutten, though. James, when he gets to play Voss as a good teacher again, is
charismatic and appealing. Winkler has never been unlikeable, so he’s not here,
either. And the film, for UFC fans, also offers a lot of appearances from those
involved in the sport, like commentator Joe Rogan, referee Herb
Dean, fighter Chael Sonnen, and coach Mark DellaGrotte. The fights aren’t as
bloody as they should be, but it’s a PG-rated movie, so that’s not so surprising.
What is nice, though, is that there’s a focus on the strength, athleticism, and
commitment needed to succeed in MMA, instead of just portraying it as a
barbaric bloodbath.
So no, Here Comes the Boom isn’t a sports classic.
It’s not breaking any stereotypes (in fact, it reinforces them with the
disappointing depiction of clueless immigrants taking citizenship classes) and
it’s not tweaking with any formulas. But the way James, Rutten, and Winkler
connect is engaging and amusing, and Here Comes the Boom is moderately
successful on that chemistry alone. And if something can crack my cold, cold
heart, that’s a victory.
