Is it heartless of me to consider “In the Evening” kind of
boring? I mean, yes, a lot of characters were dealing with grief—Arlene, Andy,
and Holly over Terry’s murder; Eric over his sister Nora’s death; Sarah Newlin
over the Guv. But overall, this episode felt like pieces very obviously being
moved into place (Eric acknowledging that Bill might be a god, Warlow once
again being needed for his blood, etc.), in a way that previous episodes “Don’tYou Feel Me” and “Fuck the Pain Away” didn’t. It felt more obvious.
With only three episodes left, though, what else can we
expect this season? More flashback wigs? More Sarah Newlin powersuits? More useless
werewolf plots? I’m sure we’ll have all that, and more, coming from Bon Temps!
But before I have to write one more word about how stupid
the werewolves have been this season, let’s talk about what worked in this week’s
episode. (And, of course, SPOILERS AHEAD!)
1. Much ado at Vamp Camp! Let’s
start with Eric breaking out of the joint (because obviously, that place
wasn’t going to hold the ancient, all-powerful, too-hot-for-prison Eric Northman)
to save Nora, taking her to Bill’s and beginning that he save her from Hep
V with his blood. Although Nora refuses, and Bill is hesitant too (“This
is her dying wish; we have to honor it” was a nice sign of Bill’s
old-school chivalry), eventually Eric convinces them both to give it a try
… and it doesn’t work. Nevertheless, Eric has already pledged himself to
Bill (or, at least, he said “I believe that you are divine” to get Bill’s
help), and it looks like they’ll be going back to Vamp Camp to save
everyone else. And finally, we see what Hep V can do—but not before a flashback
to 1665 London, where Eric saved Nora from the Plague by taking her to
Godric and turning her into a vampire. Her courage, her statement that “My
death shall be my own,” are what swayed Eric, but in the now, it’s Nora
who has to tell Eric to be strong, to allow Willa and Pam to “walk beside
you. They want to. Just as I did.” And then, amid Eric’s sobs of “Don’t
leave me,” Nora explores into a bloody, pussy, melting mess of flesh and
viscera and goop. It’s probably one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen
on this show, and if that doesn’t galvanize Eric into helping Bill, I don’t
know what will.
2. Also at Vamp Camp! So
after Sarah Newlin finds the Guv’s head, cries over it, and then kisses
him, telling him “You were a decent, decent man, and your commitment to
this cause … it was pure,” she goes into full-on crazy zealot mode,
ranting, “These monsters prey on the pure. Know that your death was not in
vain, for it will galvanize the forces against this evil we fight. This
was part of God’s plan. And God is good.” Well, OK! So Sarah calls in the
senator and pitches a plan where they’ll say the Guv escaped from an
attack and is governing from afar, but really the senator will be pulling
the strings in the legislature and Sarah will be ruling shit at Vamp Camp
(“When God’s message is this clear, I am a truly unstoppable woman”). And
now that the Guv is gone, Jason has nothing to hold over her, so she
returns to Vamp Camp, outs him as an imposter, digs his security tracker
out of his arm, and tosses him into female vamp gen-pop: “Have fun with
your sluts!”
With blood pouring down his arm, Jason looks like a delicious
vamp snack—until Tara tells them all to “Back off, bitches,” and that
European model vamp we saw a few episodes ago who protected Jessica and
told her and Tara they now owed her one is all like, “He’s mine.” So, a
new character! One who makes Jason her bitch! I’m not really that
interested in this storyline—why are we introducing new characters with
only three episodes to go?—but sure, fine, let’s see where this goes.
3. Before Jason got turned
into vampire kibble, though, he’s delivering Jessica’s new lover James to
her. Well, first Jason told Jessica that “I want to do right by you,” but
Jessica is still full of self-loathing over killing three of Andy’s
half-faerie daughters, so she refuses (Jason’s panicked “You don’t have
that Stockholder Syndrome, do you?” for the win!). But she also wants to
thank James for not forcing himself on her “like, face-to-face,” which
transforms into Jessica buying into James’s touchy-feely stuff (“I believe
that vampires choose to forfeit their souls,” he says, looking like some
undead Jim Morrison) and feeling bad that the LAVTF cracked out of one his
fangs and wondering what it must be like to have sex with another member
of her kind, anyway. So with Jason waiting outside, she and James go at
it, with lots of weird acrobatics and torn underwear. Aside: How is
Jessica’s white push-up bra still so pristine? Is that government-issued?
Do vampires not sweat? Many, many questions.
4. Remember how Terry died
last episode? Well, Sookie is finally hearing about it, and she pledges to
Arlene to help her through this difficult time, meaning that she and Lala
go to the safety deposit box Terry left and find a $2 million life insurance
policy in there for Arlene … tipping them off that he knew he was going to
die. “Is leaving your family behind ever the best thing?” Sookie wonders,
but she’s left somewhat speechless when, at Arlene’s later, the one and
only day-walking Bill Compton strolls in to pay his respects. Sure, Arlene
is drunk out of her mind off PBR and I think cognac (wasn’t that a
Hennessy bottle Holly was holding?), but she’s somewhat touched when Bill
tells her, “I was proud to be able to call him my kin,” before freaking
out and realizing, “This shit’s real!” But Bill’s visit isn’t all
amicable, of course; he’s also there to subtly recruit Andy (whose three
daughters Bill’s own vamp daughter Jessica just killed and ate, don’t
forget) to help him and Eric break into Vamp Camp. It’s never explicitly
said, of course, but why else would Bill appeal to Andy’s sense of
fatherly responsibility? Oh, and he also tells Sookie to bring Warlow to him,
because otherwise, she’s going to be killing all her friends trapped in
Vamp Camp, like Tara. Good to know Bill isn’t above guilt tripping! And
also good to know that Lala deals with drama the big pharma way: “I’m so
fucking glad I took my beta blockers. Deuces."
5. And finally, let’s check
in with Sam and Alcide, but only because we have to. So Lala tells Sam
that Terry is dead, inspiring Sam to break his promise to Alcide and decide
to go back to Bon Temps, but not before he gets some pity shower sex from
Nicole, who I still think is like 19 OR SOMETHING, AND HER AND SAM TOGETHER
IS GROSS. Anyway, Nicole’s mom comes to pick her up, and Sam thinks they’re
all safe, but really Rikki, Alcide’s crazy werewolf girlfriend, kidnapped
the two of them. So when Alcide comes and tells his pack that Sam and
Nicole are dead, Rikki is able to trap him in his lie and publicly out him
on it ... just as his pack is circling around him, snarling for his blood. Maybe what Alcide’s dad said about how “this pack life ain’t for us”
is timelier than he thought, no? Also, I do not give any fucks about this
storyline. I just wanted to put that on the record.
+ And, briefly, some more of my favorite quotes and moments
from this week:
+ “If you want me to save your ass, you might want to tone
it down with the attitude,” Willa says to Pam when she goes to warn her, at
Eric’s behest, not to drink the Tru Blood. Not gonna lie, I love the new,
sassy, vaguely kind of empowered Willa! I also like her smirk when Pam replies,
“Tell Tara and Jessica, but fuck everyone else.” Willa may still be trying to
save everyone in her “kind,” but I like that she appreciates Pam’s authority in
this situation. Because no one fucks with Pam. (Aside: I LOVE THAT PAM WAS
DOING YOGA.)
+ In other Pam news, how great is she in these scenes with
her vamp psychiatrist or therapist or whatever he is? How she is able to play
this situation to her advantage is great, and her double entendre-heavy speech
about sex and Freud and vampires and being devoured is so perfect for the
situation. Recognizing that the pervy therapist has a version of her already
determined that she can use against him is especially amusing to watch, and her
bluntness—“One, I fuck a lot”—is classic Pam. I’m so happy she wasn’t the main
character to die this season; sorry I’m not sorry.
+ “I do hear acid is effective,” Sarah Newlin tells the
senator when they’re planning how to get rid of the Guv’s body. Sarah Newlin,
Breaking Bad devotee?
+ “You don’t think just because we had sex, I’m agreeing to
marry you? … We have the vote too, you know,” says Sookie, who I also feel like
is getting progressively sassier as the season progresses? I guess this is part
of her owning the term “danger whore”? I don’t know, guys. But I am intrigued
by her standing up to Warlow in a way I don’t think she’s stood up to her other
lovers, and I also laugh every time Warlow tells her to “use your light” for
something because WHAT WON’T WARLOW’S BLOOD OR FAERIE LIGHT DO? I know it is literally magic, but I’m still amused by
how it can make their sexytime better and help Sookie teleport and blah blah
blah. I would buy that stuff if it were bottled, no doubt.
+ “You’re a liar and a voodoo queer!” screams Arlene at
Lala, because she is grieving over Terry and also because she is kind of
terrible. Props to Lala for dealing with her insanity with a bemused look and
agreeing to go find what’s in Terry’s safety deposit box, even though “After
this telenovela, I sure as fucks don’t wants to know.” You’re a good man, Lala.
+ Lastly, let's just giggle at Eric's flashback wig together. Giggle, giggle.
