Directed by the returning Raja Gosnell, who has also inflicted such terrors
on us as Beverly
Hills Chihuahua and Big Momma's
House, The Smurfs 2 doesn't even pretend to hold any value to
those over the age of five. Yet at the same time, the ridiculously simple plot
is far too messy for a kid to ever really understand, and definitely lack the
whimsy of Peyo's original comic book adventures. Because the Smurfs are
basically a bunch of happy blue male foot soldiers, their biggest tales always
focus on Smurfette (Katy Perry), who at least has a definable origin to play around with. A
creation of the Smurfs' magical nemesis, Gargamel (Hank Azaria, looking as
contractually bound as ever), Smurfette has never really felt at home amongst
the blue all-boys' club. A poorly planned surprise birthday party alienates her
further, and soon she's whisked away by Vexy (Christina Ricci), another
Gargamel creation known as a "Naughty" who is...well...naughtier than
your average Smurf, apparently. Whisked away where? To Paris, where Gargamel
has now become a huge star thanks to using the remaining Smurf
"essence" to power his magical feats. He wants Smurfette to give up
the formula Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters) used to transform her into a real
Smurf, so he can have an infinite supply of this rather disgusting-sounding essence.
Rounding up some of the Smurf junior-leaguers (how lame is it to be a Bush
League Smurf?) like Clumsy (Anton Yelchin), Grouchy (George Lopez), and Vanity
(John Oliver), Papa Smurf does the only thing he knows how, which is teleport
to New York where they can again disrupt the lives of human folk Patrick (Neil
Patrick Harris), Grace (Jayma Mays), and their son, affectionately named Blue.
Along the way they also pick up Patrick's stepdad played by Brendan Gleeson,
who has the misfortune of spending most of the film transformed into a duck.
But if that isn't humiliating enough, he's a duck freedom fighter who saves
other feathered fowl from the dinner table. Martin Luther Wing jokes
abound.
Credited with a whopping five writers, none of whom add anything to this
shockingly laugh and drama-free film, the entire point seems to be to pimp as
many Sony products as possible, blast as much lame pop music as one's ears can
safely take, and drop an incredible amount of cringe-worthy Smurf puns. The
Smurfs' singular personalities were a treat back on the Saturday morning
cartoon block when their stories were rarely more than 12 minutes long, but it
doesn't work in a 104 minute (!!!) film where their every line becomes
painfully predictable.
Even though the CGI doesn't always jibe harmoniously with the live-action
performances, the Smurfs themselves are amazingly detailed and distinctive,
even when in large groups it's easy to differentiate who is who and what they
are all about. Unfortunately everything else surrounding them is bland and
underdeveloped, including Paris which has never been underutilized in such an
egregious manner. There's a lousy attempt to instill a modicum of
"culture" by having the famous Roue de Paris rumble through the city
streets, but otherwise they might as well have kept it stateside.
Patrick and Papa Smurf continue to wrestle with their own insecurities as
fathers, and Smurfette faces an identity crisis as she grows closer to Vexy and
Hackus (JB Smoove), the latter being a Naughty who appears to have gone
completely unhinged. The more serious patriarchal messages are too simple for
adults, and the "nature vs. nurture" theme affecting Smurfette won't
really resonate with the kiddies, either. There's a lot of talent here that
goes completely to waste. Neil Patrick Harris seems disinterested, perhaps
because his character has suddenly become a whining child. Gleeson never gets a
chance to do anything of note, and even the usually reliable Azaria is upstaged
by Gargamel's cat, Azrael. Other than the hilarious Narrator Smurf and the appearance of Passive Aggressive Smurf, both deserving of their own spinoff team-up film, there's little going on in The Smurfs 2 that resembles anything other than a total Smurf embarrassment.
