There's something that feels so right about Sylvester Stallone and a boxing movie.
Seriously, the
Rocky star has always been at his absolute best when
starring in films where the squared circle features prominently, even when he
wasn't in tip-top fighting shape. And that streak continues with
Grudge
Match, which puts Stallone in the ring with fellow boxing warhorse
Robert De Niro, honoring and stripping away at their pugilist pasts.

One can't blame the studio for hyping this as some sort of Rocky vs.
Raging
Bull showdown, but there's an actual plot to be found beneath all the
obvious Ben-Gay jokes. Stallone is Henry "Razor" Sharp with De Niro
as his longtime rival Billy "The Kid" McDonnen, who fought in two
epic matches 30 years earlier, each winning one. But the rubber match never
happened as Razor suddenly up and quit the fight game, choosing to live a quiet
life in blue collar anonymity. Kid has hated him for it ever since, even as he's
moved on to own a successful chain of businesses cashing in on his name. When
the obnoxious Dante (a game Kevin Hart), the son of Razor's old promoter, shows
up with a plan to make some quick helping out on a boxing video game, the
ensuing brawl between Razor and Kid is captured on YouTube and goes viral.
There's money to be wrung from these old pros yet, and after some arm-twisting
Razor is convinced to come back and battle Kid one last time.

Stallone and De Niro, on the other hand? It's doubtful they put up much of a
fight agreeing to this film. Let's be honest, neither has been all that choosey
over the years but they both find something in these characters worth investing
in. Stallone seems to be channeling the same beleaguered pride he brought to
those later Rocky flicks, while De Niro is having fun as a hopeless braggart
looking to prove his alpha male status hasn't been dulled by old age. Speaking
of old age, can we call a moratorium on grouchy supporting turns by Alan Arkin?
Here he plays Razor's Burgess Meredith-style trainer (all he needs is the
cock-eye and appropriate snarl) in dire economic straits.
Fortunately it's not
all road work and punching the heavy bag, there are plenty of secrets that
emerge to complicate matters. Kim Basinger, still gorgeous as ever, shows up as
the woman both men fell in love with, and Jon Bernthal plays Kid's adult son
who only recently learned his father's identity.

Unless you're already punch drunk from blows to the head it's probably
obvious that broad-minded director Peter Segal isn't going to focus too much on
anything other than getting his two stars in the ring. The subplots don't
really click, Basinger lacks chemistry with both actors, and the rapid fire
jokes range from comments on De Niro's jiggling man boobs to Arkin's wildly
offensive racial comments towards Hart. More of these hit than miss, though,
and one can't deny the twinkle in the eye of Stallone and De Niro, especially
when they finally start throwing blows. Ok, so the fight itself is slower than
cold molasses and lacks energy but were we expecting
Rocky II? All that
matters is that we give a care about who gets their hand raised in victory.
Grudge
Match may not have the goods to be a champion, but it's certainly a worthy
contender.