One of the many charms of Ben Stiller's 2001 fashion world satire Zoolander was its humble-ish beginnings. The
idiotic supermodel was created as a joke for a fashion show, and grew wildly
from there. The movie itself took some time to finds its feet on the runway,
but not only proved to be a hit but arguably Stiller's most enduring, most
quotable comedy. It had fun poking at celebrity culture and the quirks of the
"incredibly good-looking" people of the world. And apparently
everything Stiller had to say about those people was said 15 years ago, because
the unnecessary, mostly unfunny sequel Zoolander
No. 2 is about as fresh as
Cross Colours and Starter jackets.
The best, most inspired ideas come early
on, and were sadly given away by the plethora of trailers and promos. A
harrowing chase through Rome's city streets finds Justin Bieber at the business
end of an assassin's gun, but before he dies he stops long enough for one last
selfie. It's the kind of silly, self-deprecating joke that made the original
film a cult favorite, but moments like this are few and far between. A flurry
of news reports from pretty much every TV journalist on the planet fills us in
on Derek Zoolander's misadventures since we last saw him. The dopey model's
wife (Stiller's actual wife, Christine Taylor) was killed by the collapse of
the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to
Do Other Stuff Good Too, which was built on flimsy model materials because he's...well,
a dope. Also caught in the destruction was Zoolander's narcissistic buddy,
Hansel (Owen Wilson), whose face bears such a "hideous" scar he's
gone off into hiding. Zoolander has been living as a hermit(crab) in the frozen
tundra of New Jersey ever since, until Billy Zane (Billy Zane!!!) comes walking
back into his life with a mission to find out who is killing pop stars.
The original movie was delightfully
absurd, taking place in a world where Zoolander's "Blue Steel" look
could stop bullets, daggers, and people right in their tracks. Stiller cranks
that ridiculousness up to a new level but in the process leaves behind the digs
at the industry which was its strength; in favor of goofy spy movie that has
more in common with Austin
Powers. Zoolander joins with Hansel (who has been living in the desert as
part of a polyamorous commune with Kiefer Sutherland) and a sexy agent
(Penelope Cruz) from INTERPOL's fashion division to find the murderer, while at
the same time reconnecting with his estranged son, Derek Jr. It turns out
Zoolander's son is overweight, and a painful gag about whether or not this
makes him a bad kid goes on for an interminable length of time.
The stupid murder plot keeps getting in
the way of a much better storyline perfectly suited for knocking our
superficial culture. Zoolander and Hansel have been out of the game for years
and are now seen as relics, and their embarrassing attempts to fit back in
provide some of the film's most pointed and hilarious scenes. Their first runway
show back ends in utter disaster at the hands of trendy designer Don Atari (an
intentionally intolerable Kyle Mooney) and gender-neutral model "All"
played by a cat-like Benedict Cumberbatch. While the "All" gag
doesn't work, it's at least somewhat inspired, which can't be said about much
else. Will Ferrell as the returning villain Mugatu and Kristen Wiig as
the Donna Versace-esque Alexanya Atoz help liven things up a little, but
not even they can help Zoolander
No. 2 be anything more than
out of style.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
