Justin Long tried to go on the offensive against charges that this was your standard "chick flick" by listing all the typical cliches that were not included in this film. As if not featuring those cliches somehow disqualifies this from the original charge. This is, without shadow of a doubt, a chick flick. And if you're one of the unfortunate males dragged along by your testes to see this(like me), then you no doubt felt your balls withering for the better part of two hours.
This film is based off of some iconic line from Sex and the City, and you know what, I can tell. It's a totally one-note film about neurotic women with cutesie little problems and all the jerky guys around them with serious issues that can only be cured by the loving touch of the right woman. It's fem-fiction for the girl sitting at home with a pint of Cherry Garcia and ripped open bag of Oreos blaming all her dating woes on others.
Ostensibly this is the story of Gigi, who is a perky, charming, beautiful woman with a problem: She obsesses over every date. She falls in love too easy. That's her cutesie little issue. She runs into a bartender, played by the previously mentioned Long, who basically is the typical jerkoff guy who is in all these types of fem-films. He sleeps around, he's blunt, he's emotionally closed off. Whatever, man. There are a myriad of other connected stories here as well: Jennifer Connelly slides into an ill-fitting role playing a woman who doesn't realize her marriage is on the rocks. Scarlett Johannson plays a snake who steals Connelly's husband from her because "she can't let true love get away". Yeah, that'll hold up in court. There's also Ben Affleck who doesn't want to get married; Jennifer Aniston who is his girlfriend who desperately wants to get hitched; and lowly Drew Barrymore looking older and more unhip than ever playing a woman who is to enamored with her social networks to ever meet anyone face to face. Her part in particular feels so out of date.
Movies like this piss me off, and not just because the guys are portrayed as oafs who don't know what they want(it's always right in front of them), but they make the women look shallow as a West Virginia gene pool. If these women didn't have their myriad relationship issues to talk about it's likely they'd have nothing to say at all and could communicate with hand gestures. The men, as previously noted, fall neatly into the box labeled "Male Stereotype A". The women, with the exception of Connelly, have cute problems like wanting to be loved too much or they have too many email accounts. Yeah, that's fair and balanced. What is this, Fox News?
Movies like this need to be wiped off the face of the planet. Or atleast a moratorium on 'em. A-List cast aside, I just couldn't find a reason to like this. Turns out, I just wasn't that into it.
5/10
