Washington takes on the role of Walter Garber, a dispatcher for the MTA, given the assignment due to some supposed shady dealing in his recent past. John Travolta, lookin' like an extra from Prison Break, is man known simply as "Ryder". Ryder and his cohorts hijack the Pelham 1 2 3 train, which just so happens to be on Garber's watch. They demand $10,000,000 in ransom, comparing the people on board to commodities. Ryder seems to have an odd infatuation with Garber, sensing perhaps a kindred spirit. More likely he was just batsh*t crazy and would've befriended an artichoke if it were on the other end of the microphone. Honestly, it's a little hard to tell. Ryder swings wildly from utter derangement to serene and friendly.
Typically I've had a hard time wrapping my head around Travolta as any sort of tough guy. I think the Look Who's Talking movies killed any chance of that working for me ever. But I will admit that he is perhaps the one thing that keeps this movie from being a total snooze fest. Denzel Washington seems to be coasting along in a lot of the choices he's making as an actor, and here is no different. There's nothing especially interesting about the Garber character, not even when they hand us a little bit of a twist about halfway through. It doesn't really change much, as he and Ryder already had some sort of a twisted bond before that. It might color your own perception of Garber, but ultimately is there ever any doubt that all of Garber's sins will be wiped clean somehow? Ofcourse not.
The script is written by Brian Helgeland, who's filmography is as scattershot as Pelham's plot. He's done some amazing stuff, like Mystic River an LA Confidential, but then some turdcakes like A Knight's Tale and The Order. Pelham feels like a story that had been propping up the leg of someone's desk the last few years. Ryder, hard nosed criminal that he is, basically gives himself away the first conversation he has with Garber. What's more, he achieves his entire goal for the crime about halfway through before he's discovered, yet sticks around for the endgame anyway. Makes no sense. Random subplots are thrown in with little to no resolution. James Gandolfini has a cup of coffee here as the Mayor, a lame duck with a sex scandal killing his approval numbers. At first it seemed like they might try and use that in an interesting way, perhaps have the Mayor make some controversial decisions in a bid to save his career, but he's basically a tag-a-long with no interest in the outcome. What was the point? There's a beef between Garber and his boss that goes nowhere fast. Improbable events occur that feel shoehorned in for no apparent reason and make no sense, such as having a motorcade race through NYC traffic to beat a deadline when they have a helicopter sitting right next to them. You know it's bad when John literally calls them out on it a second before one of the characters in the film tries to cover up for the obvious stupidity of it all by asking "Why aren't we using a helicopter"? I was hoping maybe this junk would get all meta and the writer could actually answer the character's question, but nope.
In a year if you ask me about The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, don't be surprised if I stare blankly at you for a few minutes. I actually had this happen with another of Denzel's throwaway flicks, Deja Vu, where I literally forgot I had seen it. Pelham has that same stink all over it.
5/10 Blah
