The To-Do List: 4/24/09

What the hell kinda week is this? I get it, Hollywood doesn't want me to have a life so they dump all these movies in my lap knowing I can't resist any of them. In fact I got started early by checkin' out Sin Nombre last night, which wasn't too bad. Even the ones that look awful have the sweet stink of "guilty pleasure" all over 'em.

Speaking of guilty pleasures, the film I'm most looking forward to is Obsessed, starring Idris Elba's cockney ass. Yes, ladies. I know he was a hardened thug in The Wire, but if I blindfolded you and forced you to listen you'd swear he was Colin Firth. He sounds like he belongs on the teaching staff at Hogwarts. Whatever, the ladies love him, and I love Ali Larter. The perennial #1 Draft Pick stars as a temp who develops an obsession with Mr. Elba, which might cause a problem considering he's married to Beyonce in this. Obviously in real life this is a no-brainer but for dramatic purposes we must all believe that Beyonce is a credible option. This movie looks like a thinly veiled attempt to play up racial taboos, the black man cheatin' on the sista with some skinny white chick. I don't care. This looks horrible and hella fun.

I've kinda been excited to see Fighting ever since John put up the trailer all those months ago. I'm a sucker for gritty stories like this, even when there's an obvious candy coated center like this one has. Channing Tatum, who I must confess doesn't urk me as much as he probably should, appears to be in his element playing a street kid who finds himself embroiled in the world of illegal fighting. Terence Howard rounds out the cast as his duplicitous manager. Brian J. White, who I think shows his abs in every movie somehow, looks to be Channing's top rival.

On to a movie I have no faith will be any good at all: The Soloist. Sure, it's got the acting chops of Robert Downey, Jr. It's good the supposed(read: overrated) talent of Jamie Foxx. It's directed by Joe Wright, who recently directed the much loved Atonement. But this movie REAKS of Oscar bait. The premise is absurd, the trailer is overly melodramatic, and Jamie Foxx looks like he's trying too hard. The same way he's tried too hard in every film since Ray, which by the way was just him doing an unfunny version of his Ray Charles impersonation. No, this looks awful. I'll see it, but I'm not expecting much.

Amongst the films hittin' theaters this week that aren't playing in the DC area are Mutant Chronicles, a sci-fi film starring Thomas Jane and Ron Pearlman; and Tyson, a documentary on the controversial former world heavyweight champion. Hopefully both of these will hit DC/VA soon, especially Mutant Chronicles which I posted the trailer for here on the site not too long ago. Looks awesome.

Brett Easton Ellis is a douche. Sure, he wrote some of my favorite books which turned into two of my favorite films, American Psycho and The Rules of Attraction. Let's not forget he also did the 1980's classic, Less Than Zero. But now the latest film from the Ellis archive to be brought to the big screen is The Informers, which if you know the plot of his other films then you know the plot of this one. A bunch of shallow people treating eachother badly in the oh so spoiled 1980's. The reason Ellis a douche? Because I've been waiting years for the Glamorama film to come out that we were teased with in Rules of Attraction. Where is it? Hello? Beuller? This one is in limited release, and if all falls into place I'll be seeing it later on tonight. It's playing at AMC Shirlington, AMC Georgetown, and strangely enough at Hoffman Center. What the...?

While rifling through the showtimes this morning, I ran across a movie called Royal Kill. I don't need to know anything about it, but the cast includes Eric Roberts, Pat Morita, and WWE superstar diva Gail Kim! I'm there! It's about an assassin sent to America to kill a schoolgirl? Holy cats!! Where the hell was this movie hiding at? It's only playing at AMC Hoffman Center in the area.

Last but not least, Lymelife finally hits the metro area after being in limited release the last couple of weeks. It's one of those quirky, independent coming-of-age stories that tend to scare me off a little. Rory Culkin stars as a 15 year old boy who's life is turned upside down when an outbreak of Lyme disease hits his town. Alec Baldwin, Cynthia Nixon, Timothy Hutton, and Jill Hennessy also star. It's only playing at Landmark E Street Cinema if you're dying to check this one out. I want to see it, but it's got a lot of competition for my time and dollars this week.