1/09/2014

The Talent Show: Taylor Kitsch


Here's the thing about Taylor Kitsch: He deserves better than the career he has right now. Yes, he had a few major flops in 2012 with John Carter, Battleship, and Savages. But be real: Were any of those his fault? I say no. I would blame an unnecessarily huge budget for John Carter, a silly premise for Battleship, and Blake Lively's goddamn awfulness for Savages. Otherwise, Kitsch did a pretty solid acting job in all those films, and he's just as good in Lone Survivor - opening tomorrow - even if the movie itself does have some problematic over-the-top patriotism.

But I'll let those career missteps slide not only because Kitsch has a good 2014 lined up (for example, he's going against type in Ryan Murphy's HBO project The Normal Heart, playing a closeted gay man during the AIDS epidemic) but also, let's just be honest: I can get down with Taylor Kitsch. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM? The body and face and hair of Tim Riggins (goddammit, just watch Friday Night Lights already!) are not to be ignored.

In this week's The Talent Show, let me show you all the ways Taylor Kitsch deserves your love and affection. And your lust, obviously. Lots of lust.

First off, that smirk. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MORE HANDSOME SMIRK?


Oh look, he can write! He's literate! You two can join a book club together! 


He wears hooded sweatshirts? He'd let you borrow it in the cold weather? That's nice. 


So he experiments a little bit with eyeliner. Whatever. HOW COULD YOU DENY THAT FACE ANYTHING? 


Um, he works out. Like, a lot. Look at those arms! 


Look at those nipples! 


Look at his arms AND his nipples together! 


What more do you want from life? Nothing. Taylor Kitsch has it all. INTO IT.