As pro wrestling fans we're accustomed to a certain degree of disrespect. People who don't watch on a regular basis don't understand the appeal, and they always give you the "You know it's fake, right?" as if you were born on another planet or something. Worse, the movies geared towards wrestling die-hards have been atrocious for the most part. Thank Vince McMahon for that; not surprising given the moronic storylines he puts on WWE TV all too frequently. While we had our moment in the sun when Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler came out a few years ago, a brain dead flick like Ready to Rumble is what we usually get. And now we're taking one more body slam with Queens of the Ring, a film that's insultingly stupid even by wrestling standards.
Because this is a French film the comedy isn't exactly geared towards American audiences, but damn this is still pretty dumb. Worse, the dubbing was clearly an afterthought as none of the voices match and I'm convinced all of the women were voiced by the same two people...and maybe some of the guys, as well. Told in the madcap broad strokes that mark too many French comedies, the story centers on Rose (Marilou Berry), who is attempting to get into her estranged son's good graces by becoming a professional wrestler. She lost custody after a violent episode landed her in prison, and he hasn't quite forgiven her yet. So along with a trio of friends working at the supermarket, Rose hooks up with a famous pro wrestling trainer to learn the ropes, literally. Joining her on this Diva Talent Search are the bored housewife Colette (Nathalie Baye), the slutty redhead Jessica (Audrey Fleurot), and the crazy meat butcher Viviane (Corinne Masiero). Their training, shown mostly in goofy montage, consists of absolutely nothing real pro wrestlers would go through. So don't expect to learn a few things about the real struggle to get into the squared circle.
But once the action gets into the ring the intensity and wrestling skill shown by the actresses is better than the rest of the movie would suggest. Unfortunately, these ladies are matched up against two large women known simply as "The Mexicans", and you'll quickly grow tired of all the jokes about tacos and burritos. For that matter, the racial humor here is pretty offensive, at least by American standards. That goes double for Jessica's pursuit of a hot black guy ("I've never had a black before.") she meets at the gym. 
A WWE Studios co-production (an American remake is coming, too), appearances by superstars The Miz, CM Punk, and Eve Torres are touted but blink and you'll miss them. Chances are they didn't want to be too closely involved with a film this unfunny and juvenile. Yes, juvenile. Too juvenile for the studio that gave us such "highbrow" comedies as Knucklehead (the poster featuring Big Show in a damn diaper) and The Chaperone.
While watching Queens of the Ring I was struck by how unfair it is there are no good movies about becoming a professional wrestler. We have literally thousands of movies about athletes breaking into their chosen sport; we have the same number about actors looking for their big Hollywood break. Wrestling is called sports entertainment for a reason. It combines the best of both worlds, and someday a filmmaker will come along who will convincingly show how tough breaking into the business really is. Queens of the Ring is not that movie, it's about as enjoyable as a chair shot to the head.
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
