Would you believe there was a time in the early 2000’s when extreme sports were all the rage? Literally every sport had some X variant, including the now infamous XFL. This was the environment that delivered XxX to us, Xander Cage, a counter culture extreme sports legend who was recruited for his specific skills by Samuel L. Jackson’s Agent Gibbons to become the latest iteration of the American super spy. The original was complete off the wall fun, Vin Diesel, who played the aforementioned Xander Cage dropped out of the sequel and Ice Cube was brought in to fill the role. They were two action packed fun if not silly popcorn flicks that made their money and went away. Thanks, no doubt, to the unexplainable and undeniable staying power of the Fast and Furious franchise here we are 12 years after the last film with Diesel coming back to resurrect Xander Cage for XxX: The Return of Xander Cage.
Cage is brought back into the fold after the apparent death of his mentor, Gibbons (Jackson), when the bad guys literally drop a satellite on him. For some off reason a MacGuffin weapon was developed called Pandora that allows the user to turn any one of the thousands of satellites we have in orbit into a makeshift missile. X is recruited by Gibbons replacement to recover the weapon from a group of ex-XXX agents headed up by the amazing Donnie Yen and featuring Tony Jaa as a kind of break dance fighter….not a joke. It’s all kick-flips and machine guns as Cage assembles his own team of misfits made up of Rory McCann (the Hound from HBO’s Game of Thrones) as an ex-stunt driver, a DJ named Nicks who’s specials skills literally read “Fun to Have Around”, and the stunning yet incredibly intimidating Ruby Rose as sniper Adele. Rounding out the mix is Becky (Nina Dobrev), Gibbons right hand woman, tech genius and XxX fangirl (her safe word is cumquat…no seriously, that comes up in the movie).
Lately it’s proved advantageous for a film with a possibly silly premise to go the self-aware route and it tends to work, just look at the Fast and Furious franchise we already mentioned who are pretty much pioneering the crazy movie that works movement. That’s undoubtedly what they were going for here and sadly they missed the mark in a way that we haven’t seen before. I’m not sure how to properly describe it except to say that it’s take on self-aware was the cinematic version of the dad that puts a hat on sideways and goofily says “hip” words like “Yo, Son, I’m so dope, don’t be whack”. Diesel took the character in a totally different direction unlike we’ve seen him do in even films like The Pacifier. Gone was the deep gravely voice and serious demeanor. Instead we get this oddly high pitched jokester that just feels wrong. Even more wrong is when the film tries to bring back some of X’s more eccentric wardrobe choices which didn't even work in the early 2000's and result in him walking about a good chunk of the film in the most ridiculous looking fur coat this side of Donatella Versace.
So Diesel, sadly, was the low point but most of the supporting cast was there to pick up the pieces. Specifically Donnie Yen and Ruby Rose. Yen, who plays Xiang the leader of the opposing squad for most of the movie, is a perfect cinematic leading man martial artist. A good-looking guy who knows how to work the camera not just in face time but also in his fight scenes. Yen has been resistant to come to the states, preferring to work in Asia and honestly, I'm not even mad about it. I was happy to see that this film didn't portray him as the straight up villian as most American films have done with asian superstars in their first major foray into US theaters (yes I know Rogue One was his proper introduction but this is his first major film in his wheelhouse), look no further then Jet Li in Lethal Weapon 4 to see an example of what I mean. Playing one of Cage's compatriots is Ruby Rose of Orange is the New Black fame and soon to be of just fame in general. She is something to see, it's rare that you get such a combination of gorgeous and completely feminine coupled with a very belivable ass-kicking quality, that thing that Milla Jovovich and Kate Beckinsale have in their respective franchises, Rose exudes it and if this film is any indication she has big things ahead of her.Is this a good movie? No. Is it a fun January release full of action and crazy one-liners? Absolutely. If you're looking for an action fix this week, look no further. Fans of the franchise, or rather the first film, will be pleasently surprised by a third act twist that sets up the possibility for a Fast and Furious like franchise following team xXx. Maybe this one missed the mark slightly but to be totally honest I will be in line to see the first team up film that will follow this up. I'm sure the domestic box office won't warrant it but with Yen in the cast and the international box office's tendency to eat up films like this seeing a team xXx movie pop up in the near future seems pretty likely.
2.5 Out of 5 Guttenbergs
