Woody Allen's latest film, Whatever Works, will seem very familiar to fans of the legendary writer/director's work. Why? Because it's the same as 90% of everything he's ever done. The difference this time around is that Woody is no longer casting himself in the role of neurotic, cynical, middle aged, balding pseudo-intellectual who scores hot chicks half his age. This time the torch is passed to Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I like Larry David. He's funny. And sometimes he's funny even in this, but more often than not he's just annoying.
David stars as Boris, a slob of a supposed genius who works as a chess teacher to little kids. He's everything David is in Curb Your Enthusiasm, only not funny. So he's just mean, basically. He meets a homeless girl named Melodie, played by Evan Rachel Wood. Melodie is young, naive, but optimistic and hopeful. That is until she meets Boris and quickly takes on his negative personality. Eventually they get married, despite the nearly 40 year age difference. This causes conflicts, mostly because of Boris but also due to Melodie's scheming mother, played by the wasted Patricia Clarkson.
It's been revealed by Allen that the script for Whatever Works was actually written in the 70's, and y'know I believe it. It feels old and dated. The New York imagined in this story no longer exists. It's faster, meaner, crueler, and a guy like Boris would be eaten alive in it. What's worse though is that Woody Allen's ruminations no longer sound particularly insightful. They sound like they're coming from a guy who hasn't lived in America in quite some time. Oh wait...that's exactly who he is.
But the worst offense is that this just isn't a funny movie. Boris isn't lovable enough to be anything more than just a really mean guy, to the point where he's pretty much unlikeable. His occasional anxiety attack doesn't make you feel sorry for him, it kinda just makes you want him to keel over and be done with it. I can say that Evan Rachel Wood was actually pretty good, mainly as a counter-balance to David. She's perky and cheerful, honestly a departure from some of her usual roles.
Back in 2005 I thought that the Master had found his stroke with the release of the wonderful Match Point. It felt like Allen had broken his creative roadblock and was stepping into unfamiliar territory. He backslid a bit with the awful Scoop and Cassandra's Dream, but Vicky Christina Barcelona was another positive step. Now we're re-hashing 30 year old material and frankly I'm done with it. I'm moving along because there's nothing left to see here.
4/10
