If Fox blows this, it'll be keggers with kids all next year...
Variety is reporting that Fox and Sony have struck some sort of heinous pact to bring the iconic 1989 teen comedy, Heathers, back into the limelight. Only...not on the big screen but as a TV show? Or a TV movie? It's not very clear, honestly. Either way, where's the online petition I can sign to make sure this doesn't happen? The two folks adapting this eyesore are inconsequential, but their past credits include Sex and the City and...Men in Trees. As someone who was forced to watch an episode of Men in Trees once, I can tell you it was about as pleasurable as a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
Seriously, whenever I get around to listing my pantheon movies, Heathers is going to be near the top of the list. You DON'T FUCK WITH HEATHERS!! Leave it alone. It's perfect. It took the John Hughes teen movie model and flipped it on it's ear. It gave us a darker take on the glossy "angst" of those other 80s teen films, and managed to be just as funny as any of them and twice as quotable. Plus it's the movie that kicked off my love affair with Winona Ryder(sorry she was ugly as sin in Lucas) My question now is how do they expect to adapt it in any believable way? First off, the themes that were so prescient in the 80s don't really apply anymore, and even if they did do we really think they're gonna put on basic TV a show about kids committing suicide? No. That means it'll be dumbed down into Mean Girls-lite with little connection to the movie other than a bunch of girls named Heather and a guy doing a Jack Nicholson impression. As much as I love the movie, this idea sounds like disaster. But since I can't really do anything about it, let me today just dream of a world without a Heather, a world where I am free.
