Yeah, I skipped last week. So what? Sue me. Not so much skipped as got far busier than intended. Probably for the better because my list of concert movies would've forced me to include stuff like Josie and the Pussycats. Yeah, pretty lame. Although I do like that movie and it sits comfortably on my shelf. "Six whole hours...and five whole days!"
I'm a firm believer that there's other (semi)intelligent life out there. Some of it's probably already here, we just don't know it yet. I don't think they're hiding just under the surface in huge battletanks or hovering overhead in invisible spaceships waiting for the right moment to incinerate us. This week's new film, The Fourth Kind, poses the idea that aliens have been secretly invading Alaska and kidnapping unsuspecting folks for years. While the idea that aliens have been taking and lobotomizing Alaskans might explain Sarah Palin, I don't like to think of the E.T.'s as scientists. They're either really funny and nice, or bloodthirsty. No in between.
5. Earth Girls are Easy (1988)
I'm gonna get lambasted for this and deservedly so, but I like this horrible Geena Davis movie for some odd reason. Three multi-colored aliens(Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans, and Jeff Goldblum) arrive on earth attracted by our pop culture. They soon find themselves taken in by a ditzy valley girl(Davis), who just found out her boyfriend is cheating on her. This might be the one time I found Geena Davis extremely hot, as she prances around(often in her lingerie!) to lame 80's pop music. This is very much a product of the MTV generation, an era I've always had a soft spot for. Plus I like pretty much anything with Julie Brown in it.
4. Signs (2002)
Say what you want about M. Night Shyamalan's other films after this, but Signs is a great film. Running counter to nearly every other alien invasion film of the time, Signs builds tension not through loud explosions or laser fire, but through the struggles of one single family caught in the midst of a supernatural event. One of the last great performances of Mel Gibson's career, with one of the most iconic lines ever when he tells his brother Merrill to "swing away".
3. Mars Attacks! (1996)
I always forget this was directed by Tim Burton, even though the look and wacky tone are right up his alley. Mars Attacks combines both of my criteria for cool alien invaders(funny and bloodthirsty), giving us an A-list cast of totally unlikable humans to get zapped into radio skeletons. Like most movies of the 90s, it's totally cynical and it's references to the great sci-fi classics are mostly mocking. I don't care. I'll like any movie where Sarah Jessica Parker's head is put exactly where it should be: on the body of a dog.
2. Alien/Aliens (1979, 1986)
There's probably not much I need to say about Ridley Scott and James Cameron's sci-fi classics, other than "Holy sh*t they're awesome!" Even today, if either of them is caught on TV it'll take the jaws of life to pry me off the couch. No other film, alien or otherwise, is as psychologically intense as Alien, And yet, no other sequel expounds and improves upon the original the way Aliens does. With another film currently being fast-tracked, expect to be seeing a lot more from the crew of the Nostromo.
1. Predator (1987)
Funny that the top two alien movies on my list Alien and Predator, two franchises that have crossed paths numerous times(on screen and in book form) and are currently experiencing something of a rebirth. The Predator represents the very worst alien encounter this world could ever suffer. I'd rather be under full blown space attack than be quietly killed by a lone hunter who kills us for sport. Atleast in a war we could all unite and fight them back, but the Predator kills in silence, and he's far more advanced than we are! The coolest thing about this movie isn't just the Predator, however, it's the amazing assortment of hulked out mercs who take him on. Obviously the Governator is the man, but Carl Weathers, too? Bill Duke? And was there a kid anywhere who didn't dig Jesse Ventura and his big ass chain gun? "That sonuva bitch is dig in deeper than an Alabama tick". Dialogue like that had me pissing myself with excitement. Predator will always be one of my favorite movies, and no amount of crappy Alien vs. Predator turds will change that.
