1/28/2011

The Rite


Every year we get a handful of these exorcism movies. It would be generous to say they're even variations on an idea because basically they're the same idea. Skeptical man of the cloth needs a spiritual kick in the butt, and the best way to mainline a little faith into his system is give him a possession to cure. All of these movies are met with the same impossible comparison to The Exorcist. Few if any can come close to comparing, but there have been a few successes. The Rite, based on Matt Baglio's book The Making of a Modern Exorcist, will hold extra significance to those who buy into the story's supposedly factual claims. However, with Anthony Hopkins coasting through another Hannibal Lecter routine and some flat, lethargic direction by Mikael Hafstrom, the film isn't even good enough to be mentioned in the same breath as the 1973 horror classic.

The church is immediately rendered a sinister force in the film's opening moments, as we're introduced to Michael Kovak(newcomer Colin O'Donoghue), an American studying to join the priesthood. Not exactly feelin' all that the church has to offer, he is basically blackmailed by them into studying to become an exorcist. To do so he must travel to Rome(a nice perk) and must learn under the watchful, unorthodox eye of Father Lucas(Hopkins). I probably know as little about the Catholic church as any man on the planet, so I had no idea that they basically have a bunch of exorcists on-call, ready to deliver God's judgement piping hot to your doorstep in 30 minutes or less.

Lucas runs Michael through the paces, introducing him to a couple of his most distressed patients. Michael doesn't seem to wonder why they're such frequent customers, which to me would imply that Lucas is full of fava beans. In fact, his character doesn't really seem to wonder about much of anything for such a skeptic. When a possessed pregnant woman chokes up a bunch of old nails, does this even come close to swaying him? Is it worth even, I dunno, having an argument about? Not really. They should change the name of the movie to "The Doubt" because this dude's is legendary.

When matched up, the lifeless Michael and the aimless Lucas make for a pair that are consistently less interesting than the herd of cats roaming the streets. At least they're good for a few laughs, and one even provides the film's only real jump-worthy thrill.  The rest of the story proceeds exactly as you expect it to, with Michael locked in a tug of war with a demon for Lucas' soul. As all demons tend to be in these types of movies, it's personality is akin to the class clown you secretly hated back in high school. All snark all the time. Hopkins continues to thrive off playing versions of the same character: A dash of Hannibal Lecter, a sprinkle of Instinct, a kernel of Van Helsing and "wallah"!  That blank stare of his used to be intimidating, now it just looks like he's sleeping with his eyes open.

As far as being a recruitment flick for the Catholic church, The Rite could be pretty effective, but you've gotta stay awake first. At one point after a (shocker!!) unimpressive exorcising session, Father Lucas asks "What'd you expect? Spinning heads and pea soup?"  I would've given up my own soul for a little bit of either.