Grab your heaviest make-up, wear out that can of hair spray, and pull your tightest pair of jeans out of the closet. The era of big hair bands is back in Adam Shankman's irresistible and campy Rock of Ages, a jammin' adaptation of the hit jukebox musical that continues to light up the Broadway stage. The paper thin story is an All-American concoction of Hollywood tropes: big dreams, big fame, sex, drugs, and an unending supply of rock and roll.
Directed with obvious glee(pun definitely intended) by Adam Shankman, Rock of Ages combines a wealth of celebrity stars, all crooning familiar hits from the likes of Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, and at least a dozen others. While the plot remains thin as guitar, it's really only there to serve as the most rickety of bridges to the next retro rock track, which is when the film feels the most alive. Set in 1987, the story follows two kids with a dream of making it big in Hollywood. Fresh off the bus Oklahoma gal, Sherrie(the perky Julianne Hough), arrives on the Sunset Strip wide-eyed by the glamour of the big city. Robbed within minutes of all her valuables, she's taken in by wannabe rocker, Drew(Diego Boneta), who works as a busboy at the famous Bourbon Room where all the best bands play.Neither Boneta or Hough get much of a chance to shine, although it's clearly her who makes the most of the opportunity. It's familiar territory, having just recently acquitted herself nicely in the similarly toned Footloose remake opposite another unknown co-star. Still, it's the rest of the big name cast who steal most of the spotlight. Alec Baldwin plays the dishrag haired owner of the Bourbon Room, who laments the industry's fading glory, along with the heavy tax burden the club bears, alongside his chummy manager, played by Russell Brand. Their mutual affection for the business provides much of the film's highlights, along with a disturbing rendition of 'Can't Fight This Feeling' that will make you look at the song an entirely different way.
Of course, there's a love story at the center of it, but none of that really matters. The real fun can be found elsewhere, especially in a fantastically weird performance by Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx, an Axl Rose type superstar who is the only one that can save the Bourbon Room for shutting down. His charismatic, bombastic turn has the sort of fire we haven't seen from Cruise since his supporting bid as Frank T.J. Mackey in Magnolia. He's absolutely brilliant here, looking drugged out, drunk, yet with a drop your drawers magnetism that has every woman in the film fainting while in his presence. When he belts out Bon Jovi's 'Dead or Alive', his energy is palpable. On the other hand, his rendition of 'I Want to Know What Love Is' is just plain strange. Fun, but strange, and continues poor Malin Akerman's trend of being in cinema's most oddball sex scenes. The supremely talented Catherine Zeta-Jones, who really needs to do more musicals, is devilish fun as the politician's wife who wants to put an end to the Bourbon Room once and for all. Paul Giamatti is oily as Stacee Jaxx's scuzzball manager, while Mary J. Blige sees her incredible talent wasted a little bit as the owner of a strip joint. As the most accomplished singer in the cast, it would have been nice to see her get more solo spotlight, but when she does put her pipes to good use the film is better off for it. Those looking for a complete, enriching story have probably come to the wrong place. These are called "jukebox musicals" for a reason, and the point is to get up out of your seat, do your best air guitar, and rock out to the songs that will be stuck in your brain for weeks on end. Many will compare the film to Glee, and it's a shame that every musical has to be seen through the filter of Fox's overrated sensation. There's a genuine love for the era and the music that Glee simply doesn't capture. Rock of Ages is a spirited, dynamic celebration of the glam rock era that delivers exactly what it promises, 'Nothin' But a Good Time'!
