If you were flipping through the channels one night and ran across Careful What You Wish For,
you'd be forgiven for thinking it was one of those awful Wild Things or Poison Ivy sequels. The
erotic thriller for teeny-boppers cribs from all of those films in just about
every way; devious and sexy neighbors, easily manipulated dudes, murder, a-hole
rich guys, town sheriffs, and even dogged insurance investigators. It also has
100% more Nick Jonas than all of those other movies did, and seeing the former
pop star ply his acting trade may be a draw to some of his fa. They're likely
to come away wishing he would just put out another album, though.
Jonas blends into the scenery as Doug, a
bookish boat enthusiast spending summer in North Carolina with his family
before heading off to college. While his annoying pal (Graham Moore) is
obsessed with scoring chicks and getting laid, Doug is a virgin and timid
around women. He's hoping this summer will be his chance to finally find some
excitement, but BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!! Dunh dunh dunh!!!!
He gets all the excitement he could ever
want when rich investment banker Elliot (Dermot Mulroney) moves in next door
with his sexy young wife, Lena (Isabel Lucas). The film teases her getting out
of cars, walking with her sun dress billowing in the wind, and catching eyes
with Doug at every opportunity. It isn't long before the two are sneaking off
to the docks for make-out sessions, or doing it right in the middle of Elliot's
house when he's away. Occasionally they even do it in the supermarket with
Elliot skulking around like a possessive caveman, which is what Lena claims he
is. And a dangerous caveman, at that. When violence erupts and someone ends up
dead, Elliot is forced to choose between doing what he knows is right, and
doing what his hot girlfriend wants. What do you think he chooses? Of course he
chooses the latter. Wouldn't be much of a film if he didn't.
It's still not much of a film, anyway.
Director Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum is best known for helming episodes of The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl, and she's not
called upon to do much beyond what she does on those shows, which is to keep
the camera focused on Jonas and Lucas' best assets. She's working from a
screenplay that takes a trivial CW-style approach to love, lust, and adultery,
through characters that are drawn as broadly as possible. Lucas is absolutely
stunning and it's easy to see why any guy that age (or any age, frankly) would
do anything she asked, but the performance is so bland that you don't care if
she has a hidden agenda. Despite being well into his 20s, Jonas more than fits
into the younger role. He's not bad, just fails to make much of an impression,
and his sex scenes with Lucas are pretty awkward. This being his first major
acting role (unless you count the CampRock films, which you
shouldn't) it's not a shock he'd be a little uncomfortable, but the director
should have picked up on it rather than letting it slide. 
A few meager twists and turns are thrown
out there, but if you've seen any of the aforementioned thrillers then they'll
be telegraphed a mile away. That said, at least the film is never dull, and
there's some pleasure in all of the recycled clichés. It really is like
venturing back to a time when it seemed like one of these movies came out every
week, but it also serves as a pretty good reminder why they don't anymore.
Rating: 2 out of 5
