One thing I never ever wanted to see was a sequel to The Animal
, in which Rob Schneider gets a whole bunch of animal organs implanted in him, giving him weird superhuman powers. It's an awful film made memorable by the co-starring turn by Colleen Haskell, the cutie chick from the first season of Survivor. Fortunately we never got that sequel, but Zookeeper is enough of a spiritual cousin that I already hate it with the heat of a thousand suns. Kevin James stars as a lonely zookeeper who is much more comfortable around the animals than he is people. When he decides to quit the job and finally get a life of his own, the animals turn into chatty cathys in an effort to get him to stay. Ugh. Sylvester Stallone(!!!??), Adam Sandler, Cher, Jon Favreau, Ken Jeong, Judd Apatow, and a bunch of other folks with too much time to kill lend their voices to this junk. If you thought the first trailer sucked this one isn't going to change your mind.
Zookeeper hits theaters on July 8th!
