You better like the North, because that’s practically the
only place we were during this fifth episode of the fifth season, “Kill the
Boy.” No Arya in Braavos, no Cersei or Margaery in King’s Landing, no Jaime or
the Martells in Dorne. We get some brief scenes in Meereen with Dany et al.—I’m
still mourning Barristan over here, you guys—and a visit to the ruins of
Valyria, but mostly, it was all Jon at the Wall, and Sansa, Reek/Theon, and the
Boltons at Winterfell, all the time. Get ready to stare into Roose Bolton’s
creepy, soulless eyes for nearly an hour!
When Maester Aemon tells Jon Snow to “kill the boy,” it’s a
creepy, wonderful piece of advice that I’m glad the show kept verbatim. (Yes,
in the books, Jon Snow was much younger at this point, so Aemon’s advice was
more about skipping past his teenage years and going into manhood, but I think
the Jon we see in the show, although older, still needs a nudge to trust his own
decisions and leadership skills.) And that “you better grow up, because no one
will do it for you” mentality also applies to Sansa and Dany this week, both of
whom we see make steps forward along the paths that they’re stuck in. Sansa has
to marry Ramsay Bolton; there’s theoretically no way out of that, unless
Brienne burns Winterfell down from the inside (again). Dany has to bring peace
to Meereen; there’s theoretically no way out of that, unless she doesn’t want
to be queen. And so they have to move forward, they have to grasp power and
respect and esteem where they can. No one will just give it to them.
So let’s talk about what else happened in “Kill the Boy,”
and I’m sorry, but no screengrabs of naked Ramsay Bolton for you. I just
cannot.
+ “Kill the boy, Jon
Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.” Jon
Snow isn’t a very popular Lord Commander yet, is he? His plan to place Tormund
as the new leader of the wildlings and travel with him to Hardhome to bring the
remaining wildlings down through the Wall is received with disbelief and
indignation by the Night’s Watch, especially those who joined because of the
violence the wildlings inflicted on them—like Jon’s young steward Olly, who was
orphaned because of a wildling raiding party. The look Olly gives Jon – cold as
ice! And don’t forget that Olly is the one who killed Ygritte, too, with an
arrow through the chest. So while Aemon may have enough faith in Jon Snow that
he doesn’t need to hear his plan, and while Stannis lets Jon Snow use his ships
to transport the wildlings, that doesn’t mean everyone else has the same level
of confidence. Or any at all, actually.
I’m all for having Jon Snow do more things than pout and
look pretty, but I can’t help but feel like this is another mid-season
divergence for the Night’s Watch that was like the attack on Craster’s Keep
last year: needless violence that doesn’t really advance the plot forward but
gives us some fight choreography and some rape in the background. I’m not sure
how much I really care about that, honestly. (Actually, I do know: very
little.)
What’s frustrating most with this storyline, I think, is
that Jon never comes straight out and says to anyone, “We have to save and feed
and care for the wildlings because no one else has, and with the threat that’s
coming from the White Walkers, any dead wildling is a wight we have to kill,
and unless you want to battle an army of undead, you’ll get on board with this
plan.” Maybe that’s a little wordy, but it’s comprehensive! And it would make
people understand what he’s doing! But that would be more words than Jon Snow
has ever said to anybody, so I guess it’s off the table.
+ "The North is yours,
it’s yours and mine. You’ll help me defeat him.” So much time with the
Boltons this week! Lots of forward movement at Winterfell during this hour,
with Ramsay, Roose, Sansa, and Theon/Reek all getting some time, so let’s go
through it.
First, Myranda: The girlfriend Ramsay was going to marry
when he was still just a bastard is gunning hard for her claim this week,
complaining to Ramsay about Sansa and then eventually spilling the beans about Theon/Reek
to the eldest remaining Stark as she gazes up at the Broken Tower from where
Bran was pushed by Jaime all those years ago. Her basic gist is, “Look at how
fully we’ve ruined your foster-like brother!”, and Sansa’s face when she sees
Reek is a believable mixture of shock, disgust, and maybe a little familiarity,
one face that she knows amidst all these strangers. As Sansa tells Ramsay,
Roose, and Walda Frey at their weird faux-family-dinner together, “This isn’t a
strange place, this is my home. It’s the people who are strange.”
And Ramsay certainly is, since he spends the meal running a
weird power play on Theon/Reek (who he had already frightened by “forgiving”
him for letting Sansa see him) and Sansa, parading the former around, making
him apologize to Sansa for killing her little brothers Bran and Rickon
(although we, and the Boltons, know that he didn’t actually do that, but killed
two random boys from the town instead and make it look like the Starks), and
then suggesting that Theon/Reek give Sansa away at the wedding because he’s the
closest thing she has to family. So much psychosis on display here! And yet
none of it compares with Roose’s sublimely icy smile before he announces that
Walda is pregnant with his son, a legitimate heir that could bounce Ramsay
right out of any entitlement he might have now that Roose has legitimized him
and removed his bastard status.
But what’s the endgame here? Roose seems legitimately proud
that he has a son on the way, and the news rattles Ramsay (whereas in the
books, Ramsay has already killed another son of Roose’s as a way to remove any
competition), but then Roose smooth-talks him into helping defend Winterfell
against Stannis’s advancing forces … after telling him how he raped his mother,
killed her husband, and then refused to acknowledge Ramsay as his son for a
while. In the books, Roose explains that he knew Ramsay was his son once he saw
his eyes (GRRM’s versions of the Boltons all have super-pale,
almost-cadaver-like eyes that unnerve everyone around them), but in the show
Roose seems to say that he recognized something else in Ramsay, almost an aura
or something, that solidified their relationship. Perhaps a shared fondness for
mind games, skin flaying, and Stark murdering?
And yet, at an inn within viewing distance of Winterfell,
Brienne is just biding her time, rallying commoners to her cause and her oath
to keep Sansa safe. When that woman from a few episodes who told Sansa that “the
North remembers” tells her that she should light a candle in the highest window
of the Broken Tower for help, that was clearly a move born out of Brienne’s
efforts—and it will be interesting to see how the “you’re not alone” strategy
works in Sansa’s favor, if at all.
+ “Lady Melisandre
told me that death marches on the Wall.” Goodbye, Stannis! I’ll miss you,
you grammar-correcting, finger-chopping, red-witch-screwing stick in the mud.
He leaves the Wall, with daughter Shireen, wife Selyse, and mistress/shaman
Melisandre in tow to march upon Winterfell, where he hopes to reclaim the
castle, kick out the Boltons, and continue his journey toward the Iron Throne. Godspeed,
sir!
Stannis has really grown on me this year, and I especially
loved the dynamic between him and Jon Snow—a little fatherly, but also tinged
with respect, in a way that Jon Snow has never gotten from a grown authority
figure before—and I liked what they did with him and Sam this week, too. We get
another reminder that Sam’s father Randyll Tarly is a majorly masculine,
militaristic dick (fun fact: in the books, he basically slut-shames Brienne for
trying to be a warrior, and says that dudes talking about sexually assaulting
her aren’t at fault, she is), the only one to ever beat Stannis’s brother
Robert on the battlefield, but also that Sam has done something no one else in
history has ever done: killed a White Walker with dragonglass. Oh, and
Dragonstone, Stannis’s home that used to belong to the Targaryens, including
Dany, is full of the stuff. A song of fire and ice, indeed.
+ “I fear I never
again see Missandei from the island of Naath.” Uh, yeah, I know some people
care about this burgeoning Grey Worm/Missandei love affair, but … I just can’t.
I’m sorry! It means nothing to me! I miss Barristan Selmy! I don’t really care
if Missandei and Grey Worm have kissy times! I’m happy he’s alive, but I don’t
like how the GoT TV universe is altering how eunuchs work! So Varys had no
sexual desire, but Grey Worm still does? Were the Unsullied not just getting
cuddled by the prostitutes they were paying? I DON’T GET IT. ACK.
Also, in all seriousness: How will pairing Grey Worm and
Missandei work in terms of his commitment to being a soldier? As he tells
Missandei, while fighting the Sons of the Harpy, he didn’t fear death, but that
he would never see her again. And if he thinks that he failed his fellow
Unsullied and Dany as his queen, will he be committed to keep on battling the
Sons of the Harpy? Have the attacks stopped? Who is leading the Unsullied now?
I have a lot of questions!
Ultimately, what frustrates me with the Sons of the Harpy
storyline is that I don’t think the show has done a great job showing the
magnitude of the threat. There have been two attacks so far, and they jumped in
magnitude from the first to second, with the latter ending in Barristan Selmy’s
death. But in the books, the attacks are constant, practically every night, for
a long time—it’s a serious culture of fear that’s built, and Dany has more
advisors and people in her circle who try and get her to deal with it
differently. Here, it feels like the attacks just came out of nowhere, and it
doesn’t feel like as big of a deal. Killing off Barristan adds some urgency,
certainly, but what’s missing is the larger pattern and the larger sense that Dany
has gotten herself into a quagmire that she can’t easily back out off. So, ehh.
I guess that transitions us into …
+ “I was wrong, and
you were right—about tradition. … I will reopen the fighting pits, to free men
only. Slavery will never return to Meereen, not while I live. … I will marry
the leader of an ancient family. Thankfully, a suitor is already on his knees.”
Ring the wedding bells, Dany and Hizdahr are getting hitched! Although, much
like how the show made Cersei decide of her own volition to recreate the Faith
Militant, here the show makes Dany decide on her own to marry Hizdahr to bring
peace to Meereen, whereas in the books, she’s counseled by the Green Grace, an
advisor from one of the ancient families, who thinks it’s the only way to end
the violence because SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT, it’s pretty heavily hinted that Hizdahr is in
charge of the Sons of the Harpy. So after Dany challenges him to end the Sons
of the Harpy attacks for 90 days, and he does, she agrees to marry him,
essentially backed into a corner with no other choices.
The marriage angers Daario, irritates Barristan, and creates
a variety of problems for Dany down the road. But on the show, it’s her own
choice—so how differently will it play out? With Barristan gone, there is no
one to really question her decision (until Jorah shows up in Meereen and sulks
about it), since Missandei basically tells her to do what she feels. And some
other questions: Anyone else notice that look Daario gives Hizdahr when he
mentions the “rats” who are the Sons of the Harpy? I REALLY THINK THEY ARE
WORKING TOGETHER. Also, anyone else notice Hizdahr’s look of fear, but also
greed and lust, at Viserion and Rhaegal when Dany takes the heads of the slave
families into the base of the pyramid to frighten them and, you know, give her
dragon babies a snack? In the books, it’s made more clear that Hizdahr fears
what Dany is capable of but wants that power for himself, too, whereas on the show,
he’s still a pretty blank, amorphous guy; you don’t get how sinister and slimy
he can be. I don’t know. I just … I’m shrugging. So many shrugs.
+ “Don’t let them
touch you!” Ah, well. Finally we understand why the show has been pushing
greyscale so hard lately, as Jorah and Tyrion travel through the Smoking Sea
and along Valyria on their way to Dany in Meereen. I think the show did an
excellent job creating Valyria, an ancient civilization that was “the best in the
world at almost everything” and was the home of the Targaryens centuries ago,
land of dragons and spell and magical experiments, before the place was ravaged
by the Doom (basically understood by book readers as a massive volcanic
explosion exacerbated by the magic being done there). And they’ve combined a
few different book storylines here, too (book readers, I’ll break this down
further below), and streamlined the journey Tyrion goes on to end up in
Meereen. Was there anything more terrifying than the splash of the first Stone
Man jumping into the water toward Jorah and Tyrion? No. Nothing.
So now Jorah has greyscale—that acted quickly, no?—and
Tyrion knows that all the talk of Dany’s dragons is real as he sees humongous,
majestic, wonderful Drogon flying overhead (an event that has been teased in
released chapters of GRRM’s upcoming book, “The Winds of Winter,” but happens
for the first time here in the show). Tyrion’s face seeing Drogon! The mixture
of excitement and fear and joy is a great thing, and all those people who were
thinking “the dragon has three heads,” I feel you. I FEEL YOU SO HARD.
Anyway, Jorah and Tyrion are continuing along the way to
Meereen, with Jorah’s greyscale a secret and their main method being walking.
Safe travels, guys.
And, some final thoughts:
+ “He was a loyal friend, and he died in an alley.” Nice
meta commentary on Barristan’s death, Dany.
+ Some choice moments from Ramsay this week: “I’m furthering
a dynasty!” he says to Myranda when she complains about him being engaged to
Sansa, and then he warns her with the “You’re not going to bore me, Myranda,
are you?” I guess that their gross love works for them, but … ugh.
+ “I served Lady
Catelyn. I serve her still.” STOP TEASING LS, GODDAMMIT. STOP IT.
+ In case you forgot that Ramsay castrated Theon, here, let
him remind you!” “He’s not Ironborn anymore. Not Theon Greyjoy anymore. He’s a
new man … a new person, anyway.”
+ Things I never want to hear again: Ramsay saying “the
North remembers.” It’s just not right!
+ Clips for next week: Arya returns! And we see the new
aged-up Myrcella! And the Sand Snakes are slithering into action! And Grandmama
Tyrell is back in King’s Landing! Great times await us.
+ BOOK READERS ONLY:
So we’re never getting Jon Connington on the show, I think, since we see his
greyscale storyline getting shifted over to Jorah this week. And if we don’t
get him, we’re not going to get the alleged Targaryen pretender, Aegon, because why
would he show up without guardian Jon? Also, WHERE IS VARYS? His motivations
are being altered on the show with the removal of Aegon, and with Jorah
kidnapping Tyrion, is Varys still just hanging out in that brothel in Volantis?
There is nothing there to interest him! HOW IS HE SPENDING HIS TIME?!
