Sure Shots: The Hobbit; Marvel Superheroes; Spider-Man reboot

Quickly...

*Theonering.net is pushing a rumor that Neil Blomkamp(District 9) is going to be the man to take over for Guillermo Del Toro as director of The Hobbit. Their article is actually sortof humorous, as they practically break their own necks to tell us it's a rumor then go about writing five paragraphs detailing why it's fact. Personally, I don't see it, and their "evidence" is highly suspect.

* LatinoReview is reporting that sources within Marvel Studios/Disney are looking to bring back the 10 minute short movies before their feature films. They'd use the shorts to introduce viewers to low-level Marvel superhero characters such as Dr. Strange, Luke Cage, Moon Knight, Sleepwalker...ok, maybe not Sleepwalker. Nothing as to when this experiment will begin or which characters will be first. I'm betting some time after The Avengers. A Longshot short would kick so much arse.

*Looks like Josh Hutcherson is going to do everything he can to snag that prime role as Peter Parker in the Spider-Man reboot. His name has been at the top of the list for weeks alongside a few others(notably Jamie Bell). The only thing holding his signing back is his commitment to a Journey to the Center of the Earth sequel. Hutcherson and his lawyer are said to be looking for any angle possible to get out of that deal, because who wants to make two bad Brendan Fraser movies in a row if you can avoid it?

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DVD Review: "The Slammin' Salmon"

Welcome to Cleon’s “Slammin’” Salmon restaurant, where the fish is fresh, mostly, and the waitstaff is like none other, whether that’s a good thing or not is up to the customer. All is great in the world of the Slammin’ Salmon until owner and former Heavyweight boxing champion Cleon Salmon reveals that he’s $20k in debt to the Yakuza. The restaurant has to earn that 20k in one night or else the store is going to be under new management. In order to motivate the staff Cleon offers a $10,000 reward to the top seller of the night and a broken rib sandwich to the lowest earner. As you can imagine this prompts some fierce competition and some hilarious situations. Among the staff are Guy, the self involved narcissist, Nuts, the weird one who’s barley keeping his multiple personality disorder in check, Connor, who is back to the restaurant after a short stint in show business on CFI: Hotlanta and a whole slew of others. This is the latest entry from Broken Lizard, the group behind such hilarious hits as ‘Beerfest’ and ‘Super Troopers’ as well as the infamous dud ‘Club Dred’. So which side of the road does Salmon fall? Is it on this side of ‘Beerfest’ or the lowly ranks of ‘Club Dred’?

Beerfest it ain’t, but to its credit it’s not as bad as Club Dred. The main problem with the film is its slow start and lack of funny. Really I didn’t laugh once in the first 30 minutes of the movie with the guys in Broken Lizard not providing any laughs in the first half. The main shining star of the movie isn’t even a member of the group, it’s Micheal Clarke Duncan. He’s shown before that he can pull of comedy but he really shines in this movie. Granted it’s a combination of the writing, which is great for his character, and his delivery of the lines that makes his character so great. The other hilarious aspect of the movie was Jay Chanderskar as Nuts…or I should really say Zongo his characters split personality. About ¾ of the way through the film its revealed that his character, who up to this point was just weird and somewhat annoying, has forgotten to take the meds that keep Zongo from coming out. Next thing you know Zongo is outselling everyone and delivering solid laughs every time he’s onscreen right up until he’s bare assed force feeding a customer a live fish. The interactions between Duncan and the pretty one, Mia, are downright hilarious after Mia’s face becomes a bit disfigured following a hot soup mishap. Many of the jokes in the film fall flat and/or are so tired you almost want to groan and say “Really?”, this is especially apparent after a customer asks one of the wait staff to hide an engagement ring in his girlfriends dessert with completely predictable results. There is a moment at the end where the movie successfully delivers some emotion that you just don’t see coming, and does so successfully…even if they rip it away moments later just as successfully, but I have to admit the hilarity in the way they did it.

‘Slammin’ Salmon’ comes out on DVD next Tuesday, April 13th and if you’re a fan of Broken Lizard’s style of comedy and you enjoyed ‘Beerfest’ or ‘Super Troopers’ you’ll probably enjoy this one. Don’t expect it to be on the level of the previously mentioned flicks but it’s enjoyable nonetheless. You’ll get some laughs and have some fun with it, I just don’t think it will be a movie that people will be quoting or even talking about a few months from now. To sum it up, ‘Slammin’ Slamon’ is far from a great movie, but one with some great performances and some pretty funny writing even if it is somewhat uneven.

2.5 Guttenbergs

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The Punch Drunk Podcast Episode #38: Our Top 10 Films of 2009; Avatar; Sherlock Holmes

It was our final show of 2009, and it couldn't have concluded with two bigger movies!

-The show gets off to our typical rambling start as we somehow begin professing our love for Jenna Elfman in Can't Hardly Wait. Not sure where that came from!

-We paint our skin blue, strap ouselves in and pray at the altar of James Cameron as we dive headfirst into his massive, technological masterpiece, AVATAR! Does the king of the world still have what it takes after so many years away?

- The great detective never looked cooler or solved a case like this! We unravel the clues surrounding Guy Ritchie's action mystery, SHERLOCK HOLMES!

-Snap Judgements including Broken Embraces, Me & Orson Welles, and...Stan Helsing??

-How often do you get to hear a grown man being mauled by a wild jungle cat? It happens here, and I yelp like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee. I admit it.

-What do The Punch Drunk Critics think is the best film of 2009? Is it Avatar? The Hurt Locker? Or is it something totally unexpected? Transylmania? Ok, probably not that. We give our picks for the top 10 of the year, and it might not be what you think...

We hope you'll join us for another great show, and continue to stick with us throughout the new year! You can find us on Itunes, Podomatic, or you can download the show directly here.

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Tops at the Box Office

As if proof was needed how much better this crop of Christmas season movies were compared to last year, overall box office ratcheted up 36% compared to 2008. Thanks to a fairly powerful threesome of heavy hitting newcomers and a force of nature only in it's second week of release, they helped mark a new weekend sales record with $278M. The old record of $260M was set in July 2008.

1. Avatar- $75M/$212M

Grossing a worldwide total of $615.2M, James Cameron's sci-fi adventure appears to be unstoppable, only dropping a mere 2.6% from last week. Incredible. Undoubtedly the IMAX version of the film is a big boost to these numbers, accounting for $12M of that number over the weekend alone, and the 3-D version roughly 78% of total business. The interesting thing is that we're now entering into the duldrums of the movie season, when the studios crank out the film's they usually have little faith in. So there's a real chance Avatar could be #1 again next week, and in the top 3 or 4 for weeks to come.

2. Sherlock Holmes- $65.4M

At first it seemed as if the wiley detective would best the blue-skinned aliens, boasting a new Christmas opening day record of $25M, but the clues didn't amount to much over the weekend. Still, this is the biggest debut ever for director Guy Ritchie, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the highest grossing Sherlock Holmes movie ever. Just a hunch.

3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel- $50.2M/$77.1M

Well, the little kids had to go spend their gift cards on something, right? Getting off to an early start against it's competitors, Alvin seems well on it's way to matching the $360M worldwide gross of it's predecessor. That's way too much for a friggin' chipmunk movie, folks. To put Alvin's success in perspective, the Squeakquel ranks as the 7th best December opening of all-time. Guh.

4. It's Complicated- $22.1M

Nancy Meyers latest comedy for old folks got off to a strong start, pulling in $27M worldwide. Typically, Meryl Streep films hold on to their audiences well, and generally positive word of mouth will probably keep this one hanging around for awhile, in the same way Julie and Julia did.

5. Up in the Air- $11.8M/$24.5M

I spoke, and the people listened! Ok, maybe not, but after finally expanding to wide release, Jason Reitman's follow-up to Juno jumped up 3 spots in the charts. Adding another 1700 theatres to it's count, the critical darling average well over $6,000 per site. Not too shabby. Everyone really needs to check this one out. It's a shame to see it getting trounced by....Alvin.

6. The Blind Side- $11.7M/$184M

Did anyone think this film would be half as successful as it's become? I sure as hell didn't.

7. The Princess and the Frog- $8.68M/$63.4M

I'd be curious to know what the analysts at Disney think about these numbers. On the one hand, the overall tally isn't bad, but it's nothing compared to the studio's golden age of the 90s. I really believe they would've been better served holding off on this until February when the competition had died down.

8. Nine- $5.54M/$5.92M

Yowza. Finally expanding to wide release, Rob Marshall's musical romp did more than just break a leg, it might've broken a back or two as well. The studio says that the film failed to connect with people in the midwest. Really? You mean there's no demand for a huge, glitzy Hollywood theater production set in Italy out there in Green Bay? Surely you jest.

9. Did You Hear About the Morgans?- $5M/$15.6M

I heard their movie tanked and that they suck.

10. Invictus- $4.39M/$23.4M

This might be the most disappointing Clint Eastwood film performance ever, as he's usually a surefire bet this time of year. Invictus, for whatever reason and I'm guessing it has to do with the rugby and mixed reviews, totally failed to connect with any audience on any level.

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The List!

Happy holidays, everybody! Christmas week is one of the busiest times of the year for the movies, with a lot of families gathering together after opening their presents and a large dinner, to head out and catch a flick. This year offers a much better selection than last X-mas(no Seven Pounds! Yes!!), featuring one of the most anticipated popcorn flicks as well as Rob Marshall's musical return after his lukewarm Memoirs of a Geisha.

If the pairing of grimy street director Guy Ritchie with Arthur Conan Doyle's detective mastermind seems like an odd fit, then you'd be correct. But don't let that stop you from seeing the film, which is a ton of fun whenever the affable Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law are on screen together, although I don't remember Holmes and Watson's relationship being quite this...bromantic? There's some definite man crushing going on here, but nothing to worry yourselves over. It might just be my imagination. And is it me, or is Mark Strong great in absolutely everything he's in? He kicks ass as Lord Blackwood here, and he was quietly terrifying in Young Victoria as well.

Two weeks ago I had A Single Man at the top of my list, only to discover that it wasn't playing here yet. Not to mention an embarassing episode where I went to Shirlington, bought the ticket, only to discover I had paid to see A Serious Man instead. Colin Firth is getting a ton of Oscar buzz in his turn as a 1960s law professor struggling to come to grips with the death of his longtime partner. Based on the novel by Christopher Isherwood, the production design was handled by the same staff that works on Mad Men each week, so you know the look is authentic. Good to see Julianne Moore back on screen as well in something worth checking out.

While I typically balk at the idea of seeing anything Nancy Meyers, the idea of Meryl Streep jumping around between Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin is intriguing. There's something about her that even at her age I still find alluring. This one looks like a by the numbers romantic comedy for the middle aged set, similar to Meyers' Something's Gotta Give from back in 2003. Chances are you already know if you're gonna see this one. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Do I really wanna pay to hear Kate Hudson sing? Not really, but I have been anxiously awaiting Rob Marshall's musical return to the screen, espeically after Daniel Day-Lewis hopped aboard. Javier Bardem(No Country for Old Men) was initially attached to the role of a director experiencing a mid-life crisis. Might be because he's juggling a gaggle of some of the world's finest women, maybe. I liked Marshall's Chicago, although I don't think it deserved an Oscar, and I expect the extremely talented cast to carry this to some impressive heights. Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, and Nicole Kkdman I'll put up against any cast we've seen this year. But that Kate Hudson....I just don't know....

If there's time....

Up in the Air expanded to more theaters yesterday, so do yourself a favor and see what I think is one of the 5 best films of the year. It's one of the few movies I can easily recommend to everybody, regardless of their preferences.

Also, Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker has been re-released in some theatres for a short run during it's Oscar push. It's easily the best war movie in years, so if you're in the area head on over to AMC Shirlington and check it out. Be prepared. It's intense.

No.....a thousand times no...!!

I felt bad for all involved in the production of 2007's Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. They promptly took my pity and ran with it to the tune of $360M worldwide. Truth be told, that film wasn't the worst experience I had in a theatre that year, it was just utterly forgettable and somewhat depressing. I'll be going to see this..."squeakquel" at approximately 30 minutes after never o'clock, and that's being generous.

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Golden Globe Nominations Announced

I love awards season. In particular, the Golden Globes has always been my favorite. Sure, I attend mostly Oscar night parties, but there's something unique about the Globes. What is it? Ummmm...oh yeah, mostly everybody is hammered off their ass long before the curtains ever roll up. Makes for some truly hilarious speeches. I also dig the breakdown of their categories, which give special attention to genres that always get short shrift at the Oscars(namely comedies). Today, the Hollywood Foreign Press let fly their nominations, and leading the pack is a film I've been hailing for the past two weeks, Up in the Air.

BEST FEATURE - DRAMA
"Avatar"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"Precious"
"Up in the Air"

An interesting blend of styles here, as I'm surprised Avatar is in this category. Nice to see Precious getting a nod here, even if it has no shot at winning. My gut tells me Up in the Air takes it, but I'd personally love to see Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker get the credit it rightly deserves.

BEST FEATURE - COMEDY
"(500) Days of Summer"
"The Hangover"
"It's Complicated"
"Julie & Julia"
"Nine"

Without having seen Nine or It's Complicated, I'm a little behind on the 8-ball here(which infuriates me to no end). As much as I love 500 Days of Summer I think it's going to have a hard time beating out Rob Marshall's musical comedy. The Hangover might have cranked out the most loot, but the nomination is it's real prize this year, and Julie & Julia suffers from only being 50% of a good film.

ACTOR - DRAMA
Jeff Bridges - "Crazy Heart"
George Clooney - "Up in the Air"
Colin Firth - "A Single Man"
Morgan Freeman - "Invictus"
Tobey Maguire - "Brothers"

The buzz swirling around Jeff Bridges right now is crazy(no pun intended), but Morgan Freeman has history on his side and George Clooney has almost universal acclaim on his. This is basically a two-horse race between the two, with Clooney I think edging out for the win.

ACTRESS - DRAMA
Emily Blunt - "The Young Victoria"
Sandra Bullock - "The Blind Side"
Helen Mirren - "The Last Station"
Carey Mulligan - "An Education"
Gabourey Sidibe - "Precious"

There's a groundswell of support for Gaby Sidibe to take the crown, thanks to her powerful and understated performance in Precious. Same goes to Sandra Bullock, who has the benefit of the surprising box office performance of her film on her side. It's arguably the best performance of her career, which could be enough to push her over the top. However, no actress has received more rave reviews than young Carey Mulligan, who carried every single scene of An Education and showed a depth of maturity few matched this year(watch for her small but important role in Brothers, as well). The Globes have a penchant for surprises, and I'm calling for one here as Mulligan takes this one. Hopefully the first of many for her.

ACTOR - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Matt Damon - "The Informant!"
Daniel Day-Lewis - "Nine"
Robert Downey Jr. - "Sherlock Holmes"
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - "500 Days of Summer"
Michael Stuhlbarg - "A Serious Man"

Now this is a toughie. I won't see Sherlock Holmes until next Monday, so I can't comment on how Robert Downey was in it. I doubt he would win anyway. But Damon, Day-Lewis, Gordon-Leavitt, and Stuhlbarg all are deserving candidates here. I don't need to have seen Nine to know that Daniel Day-Lewis is the frontrunner. Michael Stuhlbarg was the best thing about the Coens' off-beat drama, but I think the film lacks the necessary heat to push him forward. I would prefer to see Joseph Gordon-Leavitt take it, but my gut tells me otherwise.
ACTRESS - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Sandra Bullock - "The Proposal"
Marion Cotillard - "Nine"
Julia Roberts - "Duplicity"
Meryl Streep - "It's Complicated"
Meryl Streep - "Julie & Julia

This is another two-horse race, except both runners are the same person. This one's not even a contest. Meryl Streep gave the best performance of the year by anybody as iconic TV personality, Julia Child. She wins hands down.

DIRECTOR - MOTION PICTURE
Kathryn Bigelow - "The Hurt Locker"
James Cameron - "Avatar"
Clint Eastwood - "Invictus"
Jason Reitman - "Up in the Air"
Quentin Tarantino - "Inglourious Basterds"

The only nominee I'm totally discounting strangely enough given his history, is Clint Eastwood. His film isn't strong enough to compete with the rest of these heavyweights. Bigelow probably would be the underdog pick, bolstered by the heat generated by her fabulous lead actor. Cameron's Avatar might rely too much on special effects. Tarantino is the popular pick, and for once he has some actual box office to back him up. Reitman's Up in the Air is the best reviewed film of the entire lot, but it's tough to see where his directing hand really shows. I still think he takes it, though.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon - "Invictus"
Woody Harrelson - "The Messenger"
Christopher Plummer - "The Last Station"
Stanley Tucci - "The Lovely Bones"
Christopher Waltz - "Inglourious Basterds

There are only three contenders this time around. Matt Damon brings a quiet strength to his role as the rugby captain who becomes Nelson Mandela's right hand man. Harrelson had perhaps the most dramatic turn of all, playing a Casualty Notification Officer trying to cope with alcoholism. However it's Christoph Waltz, as the smarmy and devious Hans Landa who had the most fun performance of the year. In a film that was full of larger than life characters, he still managed to stand out above them all.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz - "Nine"
Vera Farmiga - "Up in the Air"
Anna Kendrick - "Up in the Air"
Mo'Nique - "Precious"
Julianne Moore - "A Single Man"

I'm going to see A Single Man tonight, so maybe I'll have more to say on Julianne Moore's performance tomorrow, but I doubt she stands a chance against the buzzsaw that is Mo'nique's turn in Precious. Playing a sad, pathetic, manipulative shell of a mother, she is the force behind that film's success. By now everybody knows my love for both Vera Farmiga and especially Anna Kendrick, and I'd love to see one of them win, but it's not happening this year.

SCREENPLAY - MOTION PICTURE
Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell - "District 9"
Mark Boal - "The Hurt Locker"
Nancy Meyers - "It's Complicated"
Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner - "Up In The Air"
Quentin Tarantino - "Inglourious Basterds"

Few films came out of nowhere the way Neil Blomkamp's District 9 did. An intelligent, thought-provoking, and highly divisive take on the sci-fi genre, it's the clear runner-up to Up in the Air. Jason Reitman's comedy drama is timely and insightful without being preachy, and paints a unique worldview featuring completely believable fully realized characters. Funny and poignant, heavy yet light hearted at just the right moments. Up in the Air is pretty much a hot knife through butter this year.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"
"Coraline"
"Fantastic Mr. Fox"
"The Princess and the Frog"
"Up"

I saw all of these except for Clody, which I think is only there because someone felt they needed to appease the lowerst common denominator. The other four films demonstrate the strength of this year's animated films, and Tim Burton's 9 and Monsters vs. Aliens aren't even on the list! Pixar's Up is probably the one that's going to take it, but my vote would go to Wes Anderson's brilliant stop-motion adventure, Fantastic Mr. Fox, which thankfully lacks Up's emotionally manipulative tendencies.

The rest of the movie nominees are below! Let us know who you think should win. Who was left out? Who shouldn't even be nominated in the first place? For the TV related categories, check out Variety's coverage by clicking here.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
"Baaria" (Italy) - Medusa Film; Summit Entertainment
"Broken Embraces" (Spain) - El Deseo SA; Sony Pictures Classics
"The Maid" (Chile) - Forastero; Elephant Eye Films
"A Prophet" (France) - Chic Films; Sony Pictures Classics
"The White Ribbon" (Germany) - Wega Films; Sony Pictures Classics

BEST SCORE
Michael Giacchino - "Up"
Marvin Hamlisch - "The Informant!"
James Horner - "Avatar"
Abel Korzeniowski - "A Single Man"
Karen O, Carter Burwell - "Where The Wild Things Are"


BEST ORIGINAL SONG"Cinema Italiano" from "Nine" - Music & Lyrics by: Maury Yeston
"I Want to Come Home" from "Everybody's Fine" - Music & Lyrics by: Paul McCartney
"I Will See You" from "Avatar" - Music by: James Horner, Simon Franglen; Lyrics by: James Horner, Simon Franglen, Kuk Harrell
"The Weary Kind" from "Crazy Heart" - Music & Lyrics by: Ryan Bingham, T Bone Burnett
"Winter" from "Brothers" - Music by: U2; Lyrics by: Bono

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The Punch Drunk Podcast Episode #37: New Moon; Bad Lieutenant; Invictus

It's Oscar season, and with that comes top 10 lists! My favorite time of year! This week we'll be taking a look at two films that just might be cracking some of our year end countdowns, and one that might make one of our lists for a totally different reason.

--Finally...because YOU demanded it, we finally step up and pick a Team as we review THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON!

--Snap Judgements this week, featuring Nimrod Antal's ARMORED; A CHRISTMAS CAROL; and TRANSYLMANIA!

--One of the wildest films of the year that's sure to be on our list of the best films of the year is Nicolas Cage's BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS!

--News on a possible Star Wars 4; the upcoming Gears of War film, and the lastest addition to the cast of Men in Black 3!

--We round up the show with a look at Clint Eastwood's uplifting Nelson Mandela biopic, INVICTUS!

All this and as usual, much much more! We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(give or take a few minutes) of Hollywood geekery. You can find us on Itunes, Podomatic, or you can subscribe to us directly here. Please feel free to leave us any comments, questions, or expressions of deep intense hatred at punchdrunkcritics@yahoo.com!

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Top Shelf at the Box Office

A slow week for new releases leads to a fairly pedestrian weekend tally. Disney reclaimed it's perch at the top of the list, and Clint Eastwood's latest runs into a surprising roadblock.

1. The Princess and the Frog- $25M/$27.9M

Well if Disney was looking to reinvigorate their traditional animation department, they must be pretty happy with these results. While not exactly moving mountains, the film did break the record for a December opening by an animated feature. Computer animated features will likely continue to rule the roost from here on out, but at least this shows that there is a place for the original hand drawn variety.

2. The Blind Side- $15.5M/$150M

Extremely strong word of mouth continues to surge Sandra Bullock's football drama forward, breaking the $150M barrier in record time for a film of it's type.

3. Invictus- $9.09M

I'm not sure what to make of this, but Clint Eastwood's Nelson Mandela biopic seems to have hit a roadblock the size of an offensive lineman. Given it's high powered cast, and Eastwood's directing pedigree this has to be something of a disappointment, especially in the face of such strong numbers coming from The Blind Side, both sports-themed films. Perhaps it's because Invictus deals with the sport of rugby, rather than football? Although the marketing for Invictus dealt more with the Mandela aspect than the sports one, perhaps people only have the desire for one sports drama at a time, and decided on the one that is decidedly more light weight.

4. The Twilight Saga: New Moon- $8M/$267M

New Moon continues to chug along, but at over $100M more than Twilight was at this stage of the game.

5. A Christmas Carol- $6.87M/$124M

Suffering the smallest drop among all returning films, Robert Zemecki's lastest computer animated film is following the same tract as The Polar Express did five years ago.

6. Brothers- $5M/$17.4M

Brothers continues it's disappointing run, given relatively strong word of mouth and a young, star studded line-up. Another war movie fatality, unfortunately.

7. 2012- $4.4M/$155M

8. Old Dogs- $4.4M/$40M

9. Armored- $3.5M/$11.7M

10. Ninja Assassin- $2.71M/$34.3M

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The List!

Grrrr! Can someone explain to me why I can't find The Lovely Bones anywhere in the area? Seriously? A movie of that level and it's not playing in DC? What is this? Bumfuck, West Virginia? I thought this was a major metropolis, not an eyeblink of a town straddling a dirt road. Bahh!! I understand opening a film in limited release, but DC is rarely ever a part of it. I blame Mayor Fenty, personally. More specifically that damn hat of his. So with The Lovely Bones out of contention and Invictus already in my rearview mirror, the choices this week are woeful.



Mark this day down, folks. It's probably the one and only time you'll ever see a Zac Efron film at the top of my list. But when he's paired up with director Richard Linklater(Before Sunrise/Sunset, Dazed and Confused) even I find it hard to keep myself away. Efron stars as a teenager who finds himself added to Orson Welles' production of Julius Caesar at the opening of his Mercury Theatre back in 1937. Oscar chatter is starting to surround this project, mainly for newcomer Christian McKay starring as the controversial actor.



My enthusiasm for Broken Lizard's latest has soured noticeably since we first put up the trailer what seems like an eon ago. It could be because I remembered that I've never really liked anything Broken Lizard's ever done. That tends to sour me on a project. The only thing that keeps me optimistic is Michael Clark Duncan, who has more comedic timing in his oversized pinky finger than the rest of these jabronies have in their entire bodies. The story involves a former boxing champion turned restaurant manager who falls into debt with the mob. So as a means of jinning up some dough, he challenges his staff to sell as much food as humanly possible in one night. It looks a little too similar to that mediocre fast food comedy, Waiting. Not a good thing.



Another film swimming in Oscar buzz, Colin Firth stars as a gay English professor who's partner has recently passed away. Taking place in the 1960s, and developed by some of the same people behind the similarly timed Mad Men TV series, A Single Man is based on the Christopher Isherwood novel of the same name and has been hailed as "one of the first and best novels of the modern gay liberation movement." I'm a huge fan of Julianne Moore, who co-stars alongside another one of my favorite actresses right now, Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin.

If there's time...



In my review of Invictus, I stated that I think this is Morgan Freeman's best performance of his already spectacular career. But it also might be Matt Damon's, even though it's clearly a more understated role. Invictus is the story of how South African president Nelson Mandela, and his attempt to heal the wounds of apartheid by uniting his country around the South African national rugby team. An uplifting and powerful film. Another great one by director Clint Eastwood, who continues to put out phenomenal work year after year.



I very nearly put this on the "Absolutely not!" part of The List, but figured I'd be flogged by the folks who keep asking what I think about it. I guess, because I'm African-American, I must have particularly keen insight on what is basically Disney's first African-American fairy tale princess. I don't. I'm much more interested in Disney's return to hand drawn animation, and whether or not people will embrace the style once again. It's been a long time since that that great era of Disney animation in the 90s, and since then Pixar and Dreamworks have set up camp as the top dawgs. I don't want this to turn into Treasure Planet(which Disney invested in heavily then died on the vine) and fall into obscurity. I hope this is a success, and so the least I can do is go and judge it for myself.

No...no..a thousand times no!

Nothing springs to mind as being overtly offensive to the senses. Well, there's still that stench emanating from Everybody's Fine, which I've managed to avoid thus far.

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The List!

It's been nearly a week since I've seen a movie and I'm starting to go through withdrawal. Fortunately, Hollywood has seen fit to slam me with too many all at once, including a clear Oscar contender(Up in the Air), a tense drama involving an awkward love triangle(Brothers), and one film that probably should've stayed in the direct-to-DVD market(Transylmania). Let's have at it then.



We are truly in the Oscar season, folks. Not only has Jason Reitman's Juno follow up received tons of Best Picture buzz, but star George Clooney is almost a shoe-in for a Best Actor nom. He stars as Ryan Bingham, a guy who travels around and finds a nice way to fire corporate employees for huge companies. He lives his life out of hotels and airports and is happy being completely relationship free...or is he? One of the reasons I'm looking forward to this so much is that I hope it gives co-star Anna Kendrick(The Twilight Saga) a chance to break out from some of the lame ass roles she's had since I first noticed her in 2003's teen musical, Camp.



If any director is going to remake Susan Bier's Danish film, Broder, Jim Sheridan(In America) is the man to do it. Jake Gyllenhall and Tobey Maguire play a pair of brothers who couldn't be more different. When one is presumed dead while fighting in Afghanistan, the other becomes a little too cozy with his brother's wife, played by Natalie Portman. That's a pretty impressive cast of young talent....and Jake Gyllenhall. The story takes many of it's themes and elements from Homer's The Odyssey(one of my favorite tales), so expect a clash of epic proportions when the brother presumed dead comes galloping back home. The trailer gives away far too many precious details, but I'm hoping there are still some surprises left to be discovered.



Remember when Laurence Fishburne was a serious actor? I mean, the guy played Othello for pete's sake and was once considered one of the best actors working today. Now he's on CSI and is a friggin' security guard in a throwaway action flick. I would've preferred director Nimrod Antal use this machismo laden cast for his next film, Predators. With Jean Reno, Columbus Short(the new African-American everyman hero), Matt Dillon and a host of other recognizable yet slightly cheesy actors I'm expecting this to be brimming with mindless action and spotty dialogue.



Let's be honest here, this is Dorm Daze 3. Ok? They're trying to hide it and repackage it for a theater audience that probably has no idea these characters have been in two other abysmal straight-to-DVD "comedies". Why bother? The fact that this was filmed entirely in Romania leads me to believe that they have some sort of budget to play around with this time, and this being the third effort means there must be something of a devoted fanbase for this crap. Me, I've seen both Dorm Daze films and they are the comedic equivalent of a spike through the cerebral cortex. The best I can say about them is that they are remarkably consistent in their mediocrity, but there's plenty of hot babes to look at. Unfortunately, Danielle Fishel, who most will remember a Topanga from Boy Meets World fame, is nowhere to be found. What, does she think she's too good for Dorm Daze now?

If there's time...



I don't know much about Claire Denis' 35 Rhums(35 Shots of Rum) except that it's receiving rave reviews from the various festivals it's been a part of. It takes place in an apartment building in Paris, I believe, where the tenants all appear to be a little too close to eachother. That's about all I know, but I'm intrigued. Hopefully I'll have time to check it out.



I'm afraid I'll spend too much time wondering who in the name of pete Robert Deniro could've mated with to produce unnaturally good looking kids like Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell. Helen of friggin' Troy? Otherwise, this looks pretty brutal, but I can sense that I'll be seeing it sometime in the near future(code for "my girlfriend wants to see it, hence I'm seeing it"). Based on the 1990 Italian film of the same name, Deniro plays a widower who takes an impromptu trip to visit each of his kids, only to find out that things aren't quite as perfect as they've been letting on.

No..no...a thousand times no...

Everybody's Fine should have a poster sitting right here. But alas...

John and I will be checking out Clint Eastwood's Nelson Mandela biopic, Invictus, on Monday. So expect to hear that on the next episode of the Punch Drunk Podcast, which we should be recording this upcoming Tuesday. Remember to send those questions and comments to punchdrunkcritics@yahoo.com!

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Punch Drunk DVDs!

Terminator Salvation


The 4th installment of the revered sci-fi franchise finally shoots us into the war we've been waiting all these years to see. Some would call it a disappointment, but I prefer to be optimistic and call it just the first step in what should be a fascinating trilogy. The Director's Cut features 3 additional minutes not seen in theatres(ooooohhh!!), which will give you more time to listen to Christian Bale sound like he's been smokin' road flares or gargling sand.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian


The sequel to 2006's hit film won me over eventually. No, it's not particularly good but I did see it twice in theatres so I must've liked something. Not sure what that was...



Oh yeah! Truthfully, this isn't quite as fun as the original. Ben Stiller's routine has worn thin this time around, and guys like Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan are barely a factor, but Amy Adams is the spark that makes this film work. It's still a good family film that has enough going on to keep any kid entertained.

Into the Storm


Brendan Gleason(In Bruges, 28 Days Later) puts in a tour de force performance as Winston Churchill, mere days before he's set to launch his country into WWII. Perfect for history buffs, or fans of deep, complex dramas.

Paper Heart


One of those movies that grew on me the more I thought about it. Paper Heart is part documentary, part farcical comedy involving the budding relationship between comedianne Charlyne Yi and actor Michael Cera. The lines of reality are constantly blurred so it's impossible to tell what's true, but the emotions expressed are always authentic. Featuring guest appearances by Martin Starr and Seth Rogen.

Gremlins


Be honest. You were in love with Phoebe Cates just as much as I was, and you either secretly wanted to be Zach Galligan or you loathed him and his brillo pad haircut. Whatever side of the aisle you land on, Gremlins has now finally hit Blu-Ray so that you can enjoy the lovely Mrs. Cates in all her resplendent glory.

The Frog Prince


Huh? Is this a ripoff or something? This bears a striking resemblance to Disney's The Princess and the Frog, which is due out in a couple weeks. African-American princess...a dopey looking frog. And there seems to be absolutely no information available on who made the damn thing. I smell copyright infringement on the horizon.

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The Punch Drunk Podcast Episode #36: 2012; The Blind Side; Ninja Assassin

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Now that we've broken out of our turkey-induced comas, we can get back to what we do best...and while we try to figure out what that is we can talk movies, too.

This week on The Punch Drunk Podcast:

--We avoid the falling rocks and crashing tidal waves in our attempt to review Roland Emmerich's latest disaster flick, 2012!

--Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side is an obvious reach at an Oscar for Sandra Bullock, but does the film reach us as well?

--Are movie trailers giving away too much?

--More amazing casting news for Kenneth Branagh's Thor; The Crow relaunch; and Jean Claude Van Damme heads back to the future with Universal Soldier: Regeneration!

--We don our masks, sharpen our katana, and melt out of the shadows to bring you a review of John McTeigue's martial arts bonanza, Ninja Assassin!

All this and as usual, much much more! We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(give or take a few minutes) of Hollywood geekery. You can find us on Itunes, Podomatic, or you can subscribe to us directly here. Please feel free to leave us any comments, questions, or expressions of deep intense hatred at punchdrunkcritics@yahoo.com!

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The List! 11/25/09

It's an early and abbreviated List this week, thanks to the fact that I'll probably still be too fat and turkey drunk on Friday to do it. Plus all the new movies this week come out today, and it's pretty oddball group of films, to be honest. All totally different, so there should be something out there for everybody.



As I stated in my review, The Road is an emotionally devastating film. Based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy(No Country for Old Men), it's the story of a father trying to keep his son alive in the aftermath of a global catclysm where few survived. It's an intense film, and might be too much for a lot of people, but it's worth it. Viggo Mortensen does Oscar worthy work here, and Charlize Theron takes full advantage of her expanded role(her character is minor in the book) as well. Director John Hillcoat previously directed the Australian western, The Proposition. Chances are, even though I said I would never see this film again, that it will be seen at least one more time in the near future. It is an amazing piece of work.



This should probably be at the top of my list this week. John Woo's international hit(it's highest grossing film in Chinese history) is a mammoth 2-part epic chopped down to a still muscular 2 1/2 hours for American audiences. It's right up my alley, too. It tells the tale of the legendary Battle of Red Cliffs during the Han Dynasty back in 208 CE. Those who've played the video games, Romance of the Three Kingdoms or Dynasty Warriors will recognize the characters immediately. Lie Bei, Cao Cao, and Zhuge Liang and the rest of the gang will all be involved. For me, being someone who watched all 80+ episodes of the Chinese TV series based on this subject and owns the ultra rare complete DVD set, you best believe this is gonna be one of the first things I pay my hard earned money on this week. The fact that John Woo, director of some of the best action films of the last twenty years is at the helm only makes me more hyped.



Call me crazy, but I ain't all that excited over this. Wes Anderson has culled quite the following with great movies like Bottle Rocket and Rushmore, but the rest of his resume has been sorely lacking. Movies like The Life Aquatic and The Darjeeling Limited aren't just boring, they're downright painful at times. Based on the book by Ronald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox tells the story of a fox who seems a little uncomfortable in his own skin. Based on what I saw, it sounds like it's right up Andeson's alley, with self aware characters making ironic insights on nothing in general. But the stop-motion animation is gorgeous, and the voice cast(featuring George Clooney and Meryl Streep amongst others) is phenomenal. I'm hoping Anderson can change my mind for once. It'd be nice to consider him a unique talent again.

If there's time....



Chances are I won't see Ninja Assassin for a second time, but if I ever get a hankerin' for copious amounts of CGI bloodjuice I know what film to turn to. Ninja Assassin is the story of a wronged ninja who takes vengeance against his former clan, while at the same time tryin' to score with a hot Europol agent. Can't say I blame him. I bet ninjas get all the best chicks. That'd be one helluva feather in your cap to throw around at the bar. "What do you do for a living"? "I'm a ninja. Climb walls and stuff".

No...no...a thousand times no...



There's not a chance in Hell I'd see this movie. It has the Wild Hogs stink of failure all over it, which should come as no surprise considering it was made by the same people. If it boiled down to this or painful ass surgery I'd drop trou and grab my ankles post haste. I can't tell you what this is about, other than Robin Williams seems to have a kid or something. And I think I saw him kissing Kelly Preston, which must've made for a weird workplace environment considering she's married to co-star John Travolta. I hope the paycheck was worth it.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is expanding to more theatres in the area and I'm demanding you all go see it first. Now. You can read this stuff later. Go find it, go see it, love it. You can thank me later.

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Top Shelf at the Box Office!

This week's Top Shelf pretty much writes itself. It should come as no surprise what the top film over the weekend is, but what might surprise is just how big of a friggin' hit it was.

1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon- $140M

Surprised, aren't you? A New Moon set over the rest of the competition this weekend, breaking the single day record previously set by The Dark Knight by bringing in an estimated $72M on day one. By comparison, Twilight's entire weekend still falls $3M short of that. Twilight went on to gross nearly $192M, based on strong repeat sales. So the sky's the limit as far as New Moon is concerned. The studio's exit polling indicates that roughly 80% of the film's audience was female, so if any of my fellow geeks are looking for a pick up spot, that might be the place to go for a few weeks.

2. The Blind Side- $34.5M

Considering New Moon's massive opening weekend, it might be easy to forget that another fairly acclaimed book adaptation had a debut this weekend. Sandra Bulock's The Blind Side set the opening weekend record for sports dramas. Bullock is having arguably the best year of her career, as this also marks a personal record for her, which had previously been set by The Proposal earlier this year.

3. 2012- $26.5M/$108M

Performing slightly worse than previous Emmerich disaster flick, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 dropped a crushing 59%. Normally I'd be happy about that, but the damage has already been done. Expect more Emmerich films in the near future. Darn it.

4. Planet 51- $12.6M

As far as animated kiddie fare goes, Planet 51 failed to measure up to the high standards set by the genre already this year. One of it's biggest problems was the marketing, which didn't really seem to indicate much except a human lands on a planet of aliens. It wasn't particularly funny or good to look at. Plus a lot of those who might've seen it were probably busy debating Team Edward or Team Jacob to notice it.

5. A Christmas Carol- $12.2M/$79.8M

Ok, so maybe I was wrong. $12M is still a healthy amount this many weeks into it's run, but the gross as it stands right now pales in comparison to The Polar Express. Now I still think it will hold on to enough viewership each week to bust that $100M mark, but this has to be something of a disappointment.

6. Precious- $11M/$21.4M

Finally garnering a national release, Precious continues to be something of a juggernaut each week, pulling in the second highest per site average($17,000) of any film that doesn't feature vampires and werewolves. The strong word of mouth and continued box office success should only bolster Mo'nique's run at Best Supporting Actress.

7. The Men Who Stare at Goats- $2.77M/$27.6M

The cloud burst over this dud a couple weeks ago.

8. Couples Retreat- $1.95M/$105M

9. The Fourth Kind- $1.73M/$23.3M

10. Law Abiding Citizen- $1.61M/$70M


Also...

Werner Herzog & Nicolas Cage's Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans got off to a strong start at only 27 sites, arresting an estimated $257,000.

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4th & Short: 11/22/09

I know you might find this hard to believe, but there are other movies out now other than New Moon. Nah, I'm serious. You might not believe it since you probably can't see past the blockade of pimple faced teeny-boppers, with their Team Jacob backpacks and glazed look in their eyes. If you managed to survive the trek into dangerous territory to see New Moon, then you and I are kindred spirits. We've seen the face of the enemy, and the enemy wears lots of pink.

3. Precious

If you haven't had a chance to check out Gaby Sadibe's stirring, deeply affecting performance as Precious, you're depriving yourself of one of the best performances of the year. But this is a film full of wonderful turns by some actors you'd least expect it, Mo'nique will surely be nominated for her turn as Precious's deeply manipulative and abusive mother; but it's Mariah Carey as a concerned social worker that really opened my eyes.

2. The Messenger

In the pantheon of bad jobs, being a Casualty Notification Officer has to rank right up there at the top. Ben Foster plays a war hero who returns home only to be given the job of telling the next of kin that someone they love won't be coming home. Woody Harrelson, who is quietly having one of the best years of his career, plays a grizzled veteran who perhaps has been at the job too long. When one of them enters into a relationship with the widow(Samantha Morton) of a fallen officer, all types of moral boundaries are crossed. While I have some issues with the script, the performances alone by everyone involved make this a must-see. A look at the true cost of war that we've never really seen on screen before.

1. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

I'm not even sure Nicolas Cage read the script. Oftentimes it seems like he's ab-libbing his way through all this craziness. I think I caught Val Kilmer trying not to laugh on a couple of occasions. This is Nicolas Cage unchained, and teamed up with eccentric director Werner Herzog you just knew fireworks were gonna fly, and I'll be damned if they don't! Cage plays a drug addicted corrupt cop working the New Orleans beat right after Hurricane Katrina. Wild, unpredictable, and by far the most fun movie I've seen in months. If you have a chance to see anything, and Bad Lieutenant is nearby, GO SEE IT! I promise you won't be disappointed.

DVD Pick: Thirst (2009)

Expecting to see Star Trek here? While I loved JJ Abrams' reworking of the classic sci-fi franchise, no DVD out this week had more of an immediate impact with me than Park Chan-Wook's crazy vampire horror/comedy, Thirst. Those jonesing for a vampire fix and feeling a little uninspired by the recent rash of teen angst blood suckers will find themselves fulfilled by a fresh, new take on vampire lore. When a priest finds himself the victim of an experiment gone wrong, he turns into a creature that must consume the blood of others to survive. But being a devout, religious man, how does he reconcile his new craving with his long held beliefs? It's an intriguing moral dilemma made all the more compicated by his girlfriend, who's all too eager to revel in their new found powers.

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The List! 11/13/09

It's another huge week of movies I'll have no chance of catching up with unless I pull the fabled triple-header-sometime this weekend. I've pulled it off before but had to recuperate for nearly three days by actually, get this, hanging around live human beings and talking to them about their lives and such. What a concept. With two screenings on tap next week(Bad Lieutenant on Monday, Ninja Assassin on Thursday) and the Coming Attractions Trailer Night on Thursday, I'll be spending the bulk of my weekend holed up in the darkness with only the light of the projector to guide me.



Don't be fooled, this story is only about 1/8 factual, not that it matters. Richard Curtis' comedy about a band of rogue DJs broadcasting that evil satan's music, rock 'n roll, via a pirate radio station in a ship in the middle of the ocean looks like a ton of fun and has a brilliant cast. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, and Rhys Ifans ensure that the mood will be light and the jokes fast and furious. Reviews have been sorta mixed. The film's been out for awhile and re-jiggered a little for the American audience, but if it's half as good as Curtis' other directorial effort, Love Actually, then we could be in for quite a treat.



"Some men just want to watch the world burn." I'm convinced Roland Emmerich is one of those directors, since he can't make a movie without the world being destroyed in some way. Too bad he can't get swept up in one of those tidal waves of his own creation. The buzz around 2012 is pretty bad, which comes as no surprise to me, a loyal Emmerich hater who counts the man as a pock mark on the ass of Hollywood. I expect I'll get some awesome special effects, and a story that includes horsecrap like people getting chased down hallways by cold breezes(my favorite unintentionally funny scene evah!!).



So we're finally gonna be allowed to see this thing, eh? Troy Duffy's vigilante justice sequel looks a lot like the first one, which is a good or bad thing depending on which side of the aisle you come down on. The first Boondock Saints was a polarizing flick, you either loved it or wanted to lump Duffy in with any number of one-hit wonders biting off Quentin Tarantino. I don't necessarily subscribe to that theory. I just know I really want to see this, not necessarily for the main stars but for Clifton Collins and Julie Benz, who I'm sure will help cheese this baby up a little bit.



I can think of few jobs worse than being the guy who informs military families that their son or daughter has been killed in the line of duty. Oren Moverman's directorial debut tells that story, of two soldiers(Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson) who bear that grim duty. But when one of them falls in love with the widow of a recently fallen soldier, ethical and moral questions begin to swirl. I've been wanting to see this ever since I caught the buzz on it from Sundance, and it features a cast that I can only salivate over(Samantha Morton and Jena Malone also star).



I've heard some horrible things about the hardships endured by Precious, the title character of Lee Daniels' highly acclaimed film, but what struck me is that by all accounts the film isn't half as disturbing as the book. I'm hoping things weren't lightened up to make the movie more palatable. I've been swamped with questions and comments about this movie for weeks, most of them surrounding Monique's performance as Precious's conniving mother. Hey, I dunno. I ain't seen it yet, okay? But I'll rectify that soon enough. I have a hard time believing she's as good as everyone is saying. I saw Phat Girlz. I saw Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins.

If there's time....



I feel bad because this should've been on the list last week, and now it might get pushed to the back burner. Sophie Okenedo(Hotel Rwanda) stars in the true story of Sandra Laing, a woman classified as black even though she was born to two white South African parents(Sam Neill and Alice Krige) during apartheid. I guess you could call it The Human Stain, only in reverse and hopefully a lot better acted. Anthony Hopkins as a brotha? Inconceivable.

No...no...a thousand times no...

Wow, nothing so objectionable that it need be openly shunned! Congratulations, Hollywood!

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