The Twilight Saga: New Moon
The oddball love story between Bella(Kristen Stewart) and Edward(Robert Pattinson) turns into one hairy threesome as Jacob(Taylor Lautner), Bella's Native American buddy from the last film, makes his presence felt by getting all buff and ripped and stuff. Director Chris Weitz, taking over for Catherine Hardwicke(Thirteen), puts his stamp on the series, adding a touch more action than in Twilight. No amount of criticism I throw at this film is going to matter. You already know if you love it or not, so the only thing I can do is ask you to buy it from us. :-)
The Princess & the Frog
Disney's return to the traditional hand drawn animation style was a welcome treat for me, as well as the spicy New Orleans locale, providing a wealth of cool jazz tunes and a unique group of ethnic characters we're not used to seeing in these roles. The Princess & the Frog features the first African-American Disney heroine, Tiana, who wishes to start her own restaurant. But an errant kiss with a talking frog throws her plans into disarray when she becomes a slimy amphibian as well. Whether or not this film, which was both successful and yet disappointing at the same time, ushers in a new era of animation for the house Mickey built is anybody's guess, but it's a story with an important enough message for the kids.
Did You Hear About the Morgans?
I heard they sucked. What the hell happened to Hugh Grant? Remember when it was criminal to not see one of his lame ass romantic comedies? It didn't matter who his romantic counterpart was, that film made a rack o' dough. Apparrently that time is now over, and he's left to dried up retreads like this. Oh, and it stars Sarah Jessica Parker. Another reason to run screaming in the opposite direction.
Ninja Assassin
There's something perfectly cool about a lone ninja, a one man army with the fighting skills to stop anybody who dares get in his path. You can make a good movie about such a guy. In fact, tons of awesome ninja movies have done just that. Ninja Assassin should've been one of them. For what it's worth, it's a perfectly decent action spectacle, bloody and gorey as anything you'll see. The problem? Director James Mcteigue(a long time friend of the Wachowski Brothers) just can't seem to hold back on the CGI. CGI blood, CGI ninjas, CGI ketchup(you got that right), and it smothers what should've been a great flick.
Astro Boy
Yet another reason why you can't trust the fanboy reaction at venues like San Diego Comic-Con: the hype after that event for Astro Boy was ridiculous, and yet the film was a huge floperoonie at the box office. Based on the 1950s anime series about a futuristic robot with the memories of a real boy, Astro Boy features the voice talents of Nicolas Cage(who's everywhere it seems), Kristen Bell, and Freddie Highmore.
Broken Embraces
Penelope Cruz should've been nominated for this film and not her glitzy, but minute role in Nine. In her fourth film with director Pedro Almadovar, she plays a beautiful, determined trophy wife to a jealous financier. She longs to be an actress, and soon finds herself in love with director Mateo Blanco, the man narrating the film also known as Harry Caine. Broken Embraces is a tragic love story, and a nod to the film noir classics of the past.
Armored
Dig that crazy cast, man. Matt Dillon, Columbus Short, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne...Armored is a man's movie. Pure testosterone and adrenaline, absolutely no brains whatsoever. Short plays Ty, security guard for an armored delivery service. A good guy just trying to make ends meet and take care of his little brother, left behind after the deaths of their parents. When his co-workers hatch up a scheme to steal the contents of their next shipment, it's up to Ty to either join in or blow a hole in the entire plot. Speaking of plots and holes....eh, it's Armored. Why complain? Just go along for the ride, marvel at how this amazing cast got roped into this movie, and have fun with it.
The Fourth Kind
Here's what I remember about The Fourth King: Milla Jojovich desperately pleeing with us in the film trailers that everything we're about to see is real. Based off real case studies, backed up by real doctors. In the movie itself, they even bring on the film's director to have some sort of mock interview with one of the principle characters. It all feels very "film school final project". If the residents of Nome, Alaska were really getting abducted by aliens at the rate this film claims, you'd think they wouldn't leave behind so many of them to hand over their exam footage to be used in badly made sci-fi movies.
Bandslam
I know more about astrophysics than I do about this movie. The only thing I do know is that it stars Vanessa Hudgens. Unfortunately I think she keeps her clothes on throughout, otherwise I would've seen it ten times over by now.
Paris
While it'll never surpass Tokyo, Paris is quickly becoming one of those locales that you can set any movie in and I'm probably gonna love it. Juliette Binoche(Chocolat) and Melanie Laurent(Inglourious Basterds) star in Cedric Klapisch's ensemble about a myriad of different people who's lives all casually touch one another in different ways, some for the better and some for the worse.
