Review: 'Hotel Transylvania: Summer Vacation', Not a "Zing" To Be Found On This Cruise

With Adam Sandler taking his "talents" to Netflix, the other reliable place to find his juvenile brand of humor is Hotel Transylvania, but at least it knows its audience. Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation finds a lonely Drac taken on a vacation cruise to the Bermuda Triangle by his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) and a Monster Squad of his freakish buddies. While there were a few chuckles in Drac's failed attempts to scare off his daughter's eventual husband Johnny (Andy Samberg), there's simply no  "zing" when the attention turns to his love life.

What this vampire needs is an Anne Rice-style makeover. Even the Twilight vamps are getting more action than the king bloodsucker himself, who continues to run his fancy hotel for monsters. He's worried about growing old without someone to love, an odd concern for someone who shouldn't age. But monsters only get that "zing" once in a lifetime, and he had it with his deceased wife. I guess her death is the only death that sticks because all sorts of dead and undead creatures are running around. Sensing her father's loneliness, Mavis takes it upon herself to book them all on a Monster Cruise, which is when Drac instantly "zings" with the creepily enthusiastic Captain Ericka (Kathryn Hahn). Unfortunately, she happens to be the latest in the long line of monster-hunting Van Helsings, and her true goal is to kill him and all of his pals.

What's up with the Dracula fam all falling in love with humans? Seems illogical and counter-productive; nobody wants to be in a relationship that sucks the life out of you.

The laughs are feeble, but the animation by Genndy Tartakovsky is beautiful, angular magic. His monsters bounce, the fur whips in the wind, and fangs glisten in the moonlight. Character designs spring with personality, from the lounge-singing Kraken to the giant salivating pup stowed away on board by Vlad's grandson.  He builds humor out of the animation, but the overlong comic/musical sequences feel strangely out of place in a movie aimed at a child's short attention span.

The stunning visuals are a decent distraction from the utter lack of memorable jokes. Okay, there's a fart joke that's pretty funny but you'll be ashamed for laughing at it. Vlad's best gag is a misunderstanding with his phone's vocal assistant. He's lonely, but she offers him baloney. Blah. Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Mel Brooks, Keegan-Michael Key and more all return as Vlad's monster buddies who are looking to stoke the fires of romance. Best of all, and the closest thing to funny this movie gets, are Steve Buscemi and Molly Shannon as werewolf parents who ditch their cubs at the daycare and run free like young wolves in heat.

The kiddies may get a kick out of the eye-popping animation, but will they really care if Drac finds himself a new woman? Adults...well, they get to do the "Macarena" like it's 1995 all over again. Consider a staycation rather than booking passage on this Summer Vacation.

Rating: 2 out of 5

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'Hotel Transylvania 3' Trailer: Drac's Summer Vacation Is A Summer Trap

Even Dracula needs a vacation, and in Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation, Drac (Adam Sandler) makes his a summer cruise. At night, of course.  The third chapter in the box office heavyweight franchise finds Drac lonely and swiping through monster Tinder, until his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) convinces him to take a vacation from planning everyone else's vacation.

Aboard a monsters-only luxury liner, Drac falls in love with a descendant of Van Helsing who has a secret plot to destroy them all. Should make for awkward dinner conversation.  Kevin James, Andy Samberg, Fran Drescher, Steve Buscemi, Keegan-Michael Key, Mel Brooks, and Molly Shannon all return, with Kathryn Hahn joining as Drac's monster-hating love interest. Here's the synopsis:

In Sony Pictures Animation's Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation, join our favorite monster family as they embark on a vacation on a luxury monster cruise ship so Drac can take a summer vacation from providing everyone else's vacation at the hotel.   It's smooth sailing for Drac's Pack as the monsters indulge in all of the shipboard fun the cruise has to offer, from monster volleyball to exotic excursions,  and catching up on their moon tans. But the dream vacation turns into a nightmare when Mavis realizes Drac has fallen for the mysterious captain of the ship, Ericka, who hides a dangerous secret that could destroy all of monsterkind.

The first two movies have earned over $900M combined, however they typically arrive closer to Halloween. We'll have to see if the summer release date on July 13th was a good idea or not.

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Review: 'Sandy Wexler', Adam Sandler's Best Netflix Movie Is Still Awful

Netflix recently claimed their users have spent 500 million hours watching Adam Sandler movies, or something around 29 million hours a month since The Ridiculous 6 in 2015. If that's true, and we have no reason to doubt them, then Netflix should be convicted of crimes against humanity. Nothing wrong with them having an exclusive deal with Sandler, one they just re-upped another four movies on, but could we get one of those rare Sandler movies of quality, please? It doesn't even have to be on the level of Punch Drunk Love. We'll take Reign Over Me. Just please, give us something better than Sandy Wexler.

A period piece set in 1994, Sandy Wexler is so bad you'll want to go back in time and erase Netflix from the timeline. This is one of those Sandler comedies where he takes on a wildly over-the-top, hyper-annoying persona that would be fine for an SNL sketch, and then sticks with it for an entire feature length movie. You might say, "Oh, well Sandler movies are usually 90 minutes so that's not too bad." Nah, son. Sandy Wexler clocks in at  an unholy 131 minutes, more than enough time for you to reconsider the path your life has taken. I nearly turned in my film critic card about halfway through.

For the most part the film is total inoffensive, it just isn't funny at all and has zero direction. But it doesn't set out to degrade women like Sandler's last film, The Do-Over; nor does it set out to embarrass Native Americans like The Ridiculous 6. In fact, Sandler does seem to be trying to say something sweet about his longtime manager, the man who inspired the Sandy Wexler character. Of course, he's doing it in typical Sandler fashion which is by hiding anything decent about him under some ugly high-water pants, a nasally voice, a disruptive high-pitched laugh that always sounds fake, and a chronic case of lying. But, like the cavalcade of celebrity cameos insists (And seriously, practically all of Hollywood appears in this thing), Wexler genuinely cares about his clients, working diligently to make them happy. He's a talent manager who is all about the "management" aspect, which is why he can agree to work with a talentless wannabe Evil Knievel (Nick Swardson) or a hokey puppeteer (Kevin James) even though their prospects are limited.

That loyalty is eventually rewarded when Sandy happens upon Courtney (Jennifer Hudson, deserving MUCH better), an incredible singer he discovers performing The Ugly Duckling at an amusement park. Sandy's cheesy lines may not work on more experienced stars (Arsenio Hall literally runs away), but Courtney falls for it hook, line, and sinker. It's to both of their shock that their oddball pairing actually seems to work, and she becomes the biggest success Sandy has ever had.

In general, that's the setup for a pretty inoffensive comedy, and for the most part that's what Sandy Wexler is. It's also got a pretty good message about being loyal to the people who put their trust in you. And if you want to take it a step further, it's also about finding and creating a family wherever you can find it, especially in Hollywood where being crowded is no cure for loneliness.  So kudos to Sandler for...being decent, I guess? But did it have to be through such an unbearable character as Sandy Wexler? You know it's bad when the best scenes are of others (Chris Rock, Judd Apatow, and Conan O'Brien among them) sitting around talking about Sandy, but not actually any scene that he's in. Soon it becomes clear that eternal runtime was so Sandler could keep packing in the guest stars, abandoning the story to come up with reasons for one more cameo. Then another cameo. Then another. What was this movie about again? And for God's sake, where are the jokes??? There are plenty of attempts at humor, poorly staged by Sandler confidante Steven Brill, but they are utterly devoid of anything close to funny. They exist just to get to the next celebrity highlight, and to be fair, Pauly Shore surrounded by an entire harem of ladies is a definite highlight.

Look, it's totally possible that millions of hours have been spent on Adam Sandler movies, and the rot that has done to our brains is probably incalculable. But Netflix knows that no matter what he does, Sandler will always have an audience and he will cater to them with every ounce of his being. What's sad is that amount of dedication only leads to more Sandy Wexlers in our future. Maybe Sandler should think about making a movie for himself next time. Nah, that's not what Netflix pays him for. The sad thing is, Sandy Wexler is probably the best we can hope for out of this deal.

Rating: 2 out of 5

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Trailer For Adam Sandler's 'Sandy Wexler' Takes Us Back To The '90s

As Adam Sandler burns through his Netflix deal at an extraordinary clip, the latest, Sandy Wexler, looks like the one that took the least amount of time to make. Actually, if there's anything good to say about the '90s-set Los Angeles comedy it's that it at least appears authentically of the era. Or maybe it's just the jokes feel old and stale. Probably the latter.

Sandler has surrounded himself with Jennifer Hudson, Kevin James, Terry Crews, Lamorne Morris, Nick Swardson, Rob Schneider, Jane Seymour, Aaron Neville, and Arsenio Hall. The newbies must feel screwed they aren't getting the free exotic location Sandler usually takes his co-stars on. Sorry, this one looks positively domestic. Here's the synopsis:

Sandy Wexler is a talent manager working in Los Angeles in the 1990s who diligently represents a group of eccentric clients on the fringes of show business.  His single-minded devotion is put to the test when he falls in love with his newest client, Courtney Clarke, a tremendously talented singer who he discovers at an amusement park.

Ugh. Sandy Wexler hits Netflix on April 14th.

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Adam Sandler's 'Sandy Wexler' Trailer Looks Like Another Awful Netflix Effort

Adam Sandler is burning through his 4-picture exclusive deal with Netflix, and before you knock shitty movies like The Ridiculous 6 and The Do-Over, just recognize they were some of the most streamed movies on the network. So they do their job, and now Sandler's ready with his next flick that will probably be damned atrocious.

Sandy Wexler finds Sandler as a talent agent in the 1990s, meaning he can make fun of all the era-specific stuff he couldn't make funny when it WOULD have been funny. Surrounded by all of his best buds like Kevin James, Terry Crews, Rob Schneider, and Nick Swardson, Sandler treats us to what looks like A Star is Born for stupid idiots.  Here's the synopsis:

Sandy Wexler is a talent manager working in Los Angeles in the 1990s who diligently represents a group of eccentric clients on the fringes of show business.  His single-minded devotion is put to the test when he falls in love with his newest client, Courtney Clarke, a tremendously talented singer who he discovers at an amusement park.

Directed by Steven Brill and co-starring Jennifer Hudson, Lamorne Morris, Arsenio Hall, Jane Seymour, and Aaron Neville (!!!), Sandy Wexler hits Netflix on April 14th.

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Kevin James Is A Killer Author In Trailer For 'True Memoirs Of An International Assassin'

As easy as it may be to knock Kevin James, the simple fact is that people love him. It's how a pair of awful Paul Blart movies exist and have made nearly $300M combined; it's how The King of Queens lasted nine seasons (!!!) on CBS and the reason they jumped to bring him back for *groan* Kevin Can Wait. He makes a dreadful film like The Zookeeper? Pfft, $150M box office easy. So now James is doing like his buddy Adam Sandler by bringing his fanbase to Netflix, and the first movie with the streaming service is True Memoirs of an International Assassin.

Directed by Jeff Wadlow (Kick-Ass 2), the comedy finds James as an accountant (but not the Ben Affleck kind) and author whose hit spy novel is published as a memoir rather than  work of fiction. Oops. Simple error, right? Well, not so much, because it makes him a target for assassination by those who think he's actually an agent.

Based on this trailer it should be pretty harmless and maybe worth a chuckle or two. At least it looks better than anything coming out of the Sandler wing. Co-starring Andy Garcia, Zulay Henao, Rob Riggle, and Yul Vazquez, True Memoirs of an International Assassin hits Netflix on November 11th.

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Pierce Brosnan And Dave Bautista Earn The 'Final Score', 'Blade Runner 2' Adds Lennie James, Kevin James Joins 'Sandy Wexler'

Former James Bond Pierce Brosnan is teaming up with former Bond villain Dave Bautista in Final Score. The action flick reunites Bautista with Heist director Scott Mann, and follows an ex-soldier who must put his skills to the test saving a crowd of 35,000, including the daughter of his fallen comrade, when a stadium is taken over by terrorists during a major sporting event.

Lennie James, who plays the pacifistic Morgan on The Walking Dead, is joining the cast of Denis Villeneuve's Blade Runner sequel. He joins Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Robin Wright, Ana de Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, Carla Juri, Mackenzie Davis, Barkhad Abdi, David Dastmalchian, Hiam Abbass and Dave Bautista in the follow-up to Ridley Scott's 1982 sci-fi classic, which takes place years after the prior film's events. Blade Runner 2 opens October 6th 2017.

In what will shock nobody, Adam Sandler's latest Netflix comedy, Sandy Wexler, will co-star his pals Kevin James, Terry Crews, Rob Schneider, and Nick Swardson, along with Arsenio Hall, Colin Quinn, Lamorne Morris. Jennifer Hudson is already on board to play the female lead in the film about a Los Angeles talent manager serving the fringes of the entertainment biz until he falls in love with his newest client, a tremendously talented singer he meets at an amusement park.

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Kevin James Takes The Field For Inspirational Football Drama, '44'

With Miracles from Heaven already proving to be another hit faith-based film, its producers are already lining up a big star for their next project. Kevin James is set to star in 44, a film that will combine faith and football like an episode of Friday Night Lights.

The film is described as similar to The Blind Side, and tells the true story of Joey Williams, a middle-aged father of four from Tennessee who returns to college to complete his degree and fulfill his dream of playing college football.  Using his faith as a guide, Joey's path would go in some interesting directions, such as competing against his own son on the gridiron.

While there's no director attached the screenplay will be written by Heaven is for Real's Christopher Parker, and obviously he would like to find the same $100M success of that film. Next up for James is his Netflix comedy, The True Memoirs of an International Assassin. [THR]

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Genesis Rodriguez Is An 'International Assassin', Chris Cooper Joins 'Live By Night', 'Bourne 5' Adds Scott Shepherd

Kevin James' upcoming Netflix comedy The True Memoirs of an International Assassin has added Genesis Rodriguez (Casa de mi Padre) to the cast. James plays an accountant and would-be novelist whose book is published as a true story, convincing others that he is a renowned killer-for-hire. Rodriguez plays a DEA agent who teams up with him when her cover is blown. Jeff Wadlow (Kick-Ass 2) is directing from Jeff Morris' screenplay which ended up on the Black List. Look for the film to hit Netflix in 2016. 

Ben Affleck's forever-delayed adaptation of Live By Night finally gets rolling next month, and he's rounding out the cast with Chris Cooper, who he worked with on The Town. The Oscar-winner joins Affleck, Sienna Miller, Zoe Saldana, Elle Fanning, and Chris Messina in the Prohibition-era drama that follows organized crime in Boston.  Cooper plays a Florida sheriff who has an encounter with Affleck's character, Joe Coughlin. [Variety]

Scott Shepherd, last seen shadowing Tom Hanks in Bridge of Spies, has jumped to a different espionage film, Bourne 5. Marking Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass' return to the franchise, the film stars Julia Stiles, Alicia Vikander, Tommy Lee Jones, and Vincent Cassel, with Shepherd reportedly playing the deputy director of the CIA. Filming is underway now in Budapest to hit a July 29th 2016 release date. [Variety]

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Review: 'Hotel Transylvania 2' with Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez & Andy Samberg

I really sit here wondering if anyone was caught by surprise with the fact that Hotel Transylvania got a sequel? I was shocked for sure. Was the first really that good and made that much money? Well at this point it doesn’t matter. Adam Sandler and Robert Smigel wrote another movie and they sadly got Genndy Tartakovsky to do this after killing that Popeye the Sailor movie. All these things gave Sony a nice Halloween pumpkin spice cartoon for the season to sell some products it seems. Being I’m a bit of an animation enthusiast of the Punch Drunk Critics I said I’ll take this. I watch cartoons on Saturday morning but sadly I could’ve watched repeats of Gumball on Cartoon Network and had a better morning.

So Hotel Transylvania 2 goes through the motions of time very quickly. Jonathan (Andy Samberg) and Mavis (Selena Gomez) get married and have a son in a montage lasting a few minutes. So you get to the point of Dracula (Adam Sandler) being just as much of an overprotective Granddad to Dennis (Mavis’ son) as he was a father to Mavis. The main crux of the film is Dracula excited for the possibility of Dennis being a vampire while Mavis is becoming a helicopter mom and thinking of moving away from the Hotel to California. At this point there are many things that Dracula is trying to do to get Dennis to transform into a vampire while skirting around Mavis. The parts here are where the movie becomes mostly a cartoon version of a Sandler movie in writing and gags. We get essentially two movies with poor Jonathan having no growth as a character at all from the last movie. His character could’ve died and you would’ve had the same movie basically. The movie at a point feels like three half hour cartoon episodes strung together. The last act has a villain and a grandfather (Mel Brooks) that really pops out of nowhere. It doesn’t make much sense along with the action set piece at the end. While it’s nice to see this part as the only sequence where you can experience Tartakovsky’s animation style and cartooning genius it doesn’t make any sense that it’s in there. It does make you want a Dial M for Monkey movie though.

One thing that really takes you out of the movie is the force-feeding of Sony product placement in the movie. I joked that we were going to see a PlayStation 4 in the movie 15 minutes in since at that point we had already seen multiple Sony android phones and televisions. While there are laughs throughout the movie there is overall less heart in this sequel than the last movie. That’s saying a lot since the last one wasn’t anything to cry at home about, either. Most of the look of the movie is on par with the last one with some small apparent improvements to the design and effects.  The hair on Dennis is really something. It’s to the point I think hair in CG animated films will reach the uncanny valley way before anything else.  A lot of the lighting set designs are nice. The lighting really works well with palette along with the way 3D works in terms of darkening everything. Maybe it was thought out but it might also be a nice happy accident.

Overall Hotel Transylvania 2 is not that great and not terrible either. It’s a project that you wish the Tartakovsky had invested a bit more of himself in. While his name is on it I don’t lay the blame with him.  It's sadly something that I don’t think will really hold the attention of many kids over time and surely not something you would want to have to sit through again and again. In the end what you end up with is Monster Grown Ups and I think we all deserve a bit better than that.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

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Review: 'Pixels' Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Josh Gad, and Peter Dinklage

It's not surprising that the daggers have been out for Pixels long before it ever opened in theaters. Adam Sandler's movies generally are pretty terrible, and director Chris Columbus was the only guy who couldn't make a decent Harry Potter movie.  And let's face it; there's an aversion to anything that dares to play on our childhood memories, whether it be remakes or movies about our favorite action figures. Chances are, the same people who played with those classic toys also plucked down a few quarters at the local arcade, and they will get a kick out of the way Pixels brings those games to glorious life.

First, you'll have to wade through the typically sophomoric Happy Madison junk to get to the fun stuff. Penned by Sandler's buds Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling, Pixels is loosely based on Patrick Jean's amazing short film in which aliens attack the Earth by using classic video game characters. Sandler plays Sam Brenner, a childhood video game maestro who very nearly became the Donkey Kong champion, but he lost to the Billy Mitchell-esque Eddie Plant (Peter Dinklage, nothing short of hilarious) in the competitive finals. The defeat sent Sam on a tailspin he never recovered from, and as an adult he's basically a member of the Geek Squad, installing video game systems in the homes of more successful people. At least his best pal (Kevin James) is the President of the United States (!!!), which is a lot better than his other childhood buddy, Ludlow Lamonsoff (Josh Gad), who grew up to be a total crackpot.

After an awkward and overlong meet-cute between Sam and tough military mom Violet (Michelle Monaghan), its game on when an army base is suddenly obliterated into 8-bit rubble by mysterious forces. Turns out that a time capsule (remember those?) sent into space decades ago was interpreted by an alien race as a declaration of war, and so they're on the attack using Pac-Man, Galaga, Centipede, and more as their weapons of choice. If the Earth loses three battles, its game over and the planet will be destroyed.

The most fun to be had with Pixels is scoping out the literally hundreds of characters populating the screen at once. Everything from Burger Time to Q-Bert to Paperboy (my favorite) can be seen in the background trying to destroy the Earth, and those who have a fondness for those games will get a kick out of it. How often do you get to a 3D version of Pac-Man take over New York City, complete with power pellets and little cars posing as the "ghosts"? Columbus has never been the most visually inventive filmmaker but he's stepped up his game with impressive digital renderings that are like something straight out of your Atari 2600. There's a fair bit of action, too, far more than your typical Sandler film, and other than the bland Centipede set piece they're surprisingly well-choreographed, resembling stages from your favorite coin-ops.

Pixels is all about the nostalgia factor, though, and it's important to remember that Columbus is partially responsible for some of the '80s most unforgettable films: The Goonies, Gremlins, Adventures in Babysitting, and others. His love for the era and respect for these games is what makes Pixels so enjoyable. It also doesn't hurt that Sandler is largely in the straight-man role, leaving the humor to Gad and Dinklage who are far funnier than him at this point. Sadly, this is still a Happy Madison production and that means a ton of useless cameos from Sandler's useless buddies, and occasionally a crass joke disrupts what is generally wholesome family entertainment. The best cameos are by Q-Bert and Frogger, anyway. Pixels isn't the kind of movie you sit around and think too much about, but it works as a fun and fast-paced celebration of the arcade era. When it's over you won't want to hit the reset button and get your money back, at least. 

Rating: 3 out of 5

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The Drac Pack is Back in New Trailer for 'Hotel Transylvania 2'

For a long time one thing we could say about Adam Sandler was that at least he didn't do sequels. Well, that's no longer the case. Not only did he inflict Grown Ups 2 on us awhile back, but this summer brings a sequel to Hotel Transylvania, but at least this is one film audiences may be happy to see return.

Sandler is back voicing Dracula in the animated monster comedy, with Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Fran Drescher, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, David Spade, Keegan-Michael Key, and Mel Brooks filling out the rest of the "Drac Pack". Here's the official synopsis:

The Drac pack is back for an all-new monster comedy adventure in Sony Pictures Animation's Hotel Transylvania 2! Everything seems to be changing for the better at Hotel Transylvania... Dracula’s rigid monster-only hotel policy has finally relaxed, opening up its doors to human guests. But behind closed coffins, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. But little do they know that Drac’s grumpy and very old, old, old school dad Vlad is about to pay a family visit to the hotel. And when Vlad finds out that his great-grandson is not a pure blood – and humans are now welcome at Hotel Transylvania – things are going to get batty!

So more supernatural parenting problems!

Once again directed by Genndy Tartakovsky, Hotel Transylvania 2 opens September 25th.

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Classic Video Game Characters Attack in Two Trailers for Adam Sandler's 'Pixels'

Before Adam Sandler inflicts upon us graces us with his already-controversial Ridiculous 6, he's going to plop a few quarters into Pixels, an alien invasion comedy full of popular video game characters. Directed by Chris Columbus (Home Alone) and co-starring Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Josh Gad, and Peter Dinklage, the film has extraterrestrials misinterpreting our classic video games as a declaration of war (???), and so they send an army in the form of those video game characters to destroy the world. Sandler plays a former video game champion who assembles a team to fight back.

Pretty goofy, right? Of course it is, but the new trailers also shows how incredibly cool it is to see a pixelized version of Pac-Man and Donkey Kong attacking New York. If nothing else the special effects should make this a fun summer escape.

Pixels hits theaters on July 24th, and think about it; this may be the last time you see Sandler on the big screen for awhile since he struck that multi-picture deal with Netflix. He'll still return to voice Hotel Transylvania 2, but that's it.

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Review: 'Little Boy' Starring Kevin James, Emily Watson, and Jakob Salvati

by guest writer John Armstrong

Probably the most interesting part of seeing Little Boy was the impromptu discussion of theology between myself and another critic after the screening. It's not that the story is particularly deep -- it's really not -- but it departs from the vast majority of overtly Christian films in one really notable way. It's clear that, almost without exception, Christian movies are pretty bad, but this one is specifically a bad Catholic movie rather than a bad Evangelical movie, and yes that seems to make a difference.

The story itself is deep into the same glurgey "family film" mode as The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Pepper Busbee (Jakob Salvati) stands a single meter tall at eight years old, earning the nickname "Little Boy", and it's not a coincidence this is set during World War II. His older brother, London (David Henrie) is turned away by the army for his flat feet -- a detail I don't buy for a second since they were able to find a spot for my grandfather despite the same impediment -- and so his father (Michael Rapaport) must go instead, leaving mom (Emily Watson) home with the boys.

When his dad is taken prisoner in the Philippines, Pepper hears a sermon on the Parable of the Mustard Seed, telling him that anything is possible with faith. It's also the same time as the end of the Japanese internment, which brings one Mr. Hashimoto (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to their coastal California town. Pepper follows London to ineptly harass the old man, which lands London in jail and Pepper in the office of Fr. Oliver (Tom Wilkinson), who tries to explain the power of faith a little better.

And here's where the film takes a turn from the normal "y'all need Jesus" mode: Fr. Oliver gives Pepper a list of the corporal works of mercy, telling him that these will help strengthen his faith. And on top of the usual litany -- feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and imprisoned, burying the dead -- he adds one more: Pepper must befriend Mr. Hashimoto.

Now, the schism between justification by works and justification sola fide is a deep and messy one that I'm not nearly expert enough to get into here, but it does make for a real difference in how these movies get made. The usual formula from Evangelical movies basically has someone living in a state of sin until they finally turn to Jesus, at which point everything is okay. It's a really boring and predictable story that appeals to pretty much nobody except those who already buy into it.

But throw works into the mix and now you have something like an arc. Pepper starts out just as racist as his brother, but working through his list gives him a growing appreciation for the humanity of the Other. And Hashimoto is a true Good Samaritan, showing Pepper greater kindness than anyone else in town.

None of which ultimately excuses the saccharine tone, the vaseline-smeared lens, or the truly bad taste in nicknaming the lead moppet after the weapon that levels the city that -- it's heavily suggested -- was his new friend's former hometown. It's heavy-handed and manipulative, and it wants to wring out deep sorrows before taking them all back to deliver a happy ending all around. It's at about the same emotional level as one of producer Roma Downey's old Touched by an Angel episodes. But, I have to admit, it wasn't quite as bad as most Christian movies.

Rating: 2 out of 5

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Review: ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,’ starring Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, and Neal McDonough

People laughing at fat men isn’t new, but it’s never felt as old as in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Kevin James is fat! Kevin James can barely move! Kevin James does somersaults even when he doesn’t really mean to! Kevin James eats everything in sight! Kevin James falls over things! It goes on and on, with no respite, for what seems like forever but is somehow only 94 minutes. When people talk about waking nightmares, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is what they’re talking about.

Set six years after its predecessor, this sequel that nobody wanted catches up with Blart after things aren’t going so well in his life: his wife has left him (because actress Jayma Mays couldn’t get out of her Glee filming schedule), his mother has been run over by a milk truck (because this movie hates women), and his job at the West Orange Pavilion Mall just doesn’t seem so fulfilling anymore. And, he’s also in the dark about his daughter Maya’s (Raini Rodriguez) acceptance into UCLA, which she’s afraid to tell him about because he’s such a needy desperate loner that she’s not sure she can leave him alone.

But then Blart learns that he’s been invited, expenses paid, to a security officers’ conference in Las Vegas, so it’s vacation time for him and Maya. No matter that when they get to Las Vegas, Blart keeps hit getting by cars because of his terrible Segway driving, or that he starts essentially spying on Maya when she strikes up a friendship with a handsome hotel employee, or that he gets attacked by a peacock and kicked by a horse … because he also finds out that some criminals are planning to rob the hotel and the casino, and so with his glue gun and his Taser and his inflated sense of self, Blart decides to foil the heist.

You can pretty much guess where this is going. Neal McDonough, so wonderfully deranged in things like FX’s underappreciated Justified, is given short shrift here; there’s a scene where he and James are clearly improv-ing with each other to prove whose character is more crazy, but their comedic rhythms are off. James seems fine with being a gluttonous hack, but that doesn’t mean his character is the Everyman the movie is trying to sell him as; he’s still just a pumped-up weirdo. And there’s one scene where one of Blart’s drunk, disorderly friends comes on to a woman to a gross degree, but it eventually ends with the woman apologizing for overreacting, because how dare we not accept any random guy’s overtures at a bar even if we’re completely disinterested? How disgustingly feminist of us.

No one wanted Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and maybe James and Co. knew that, since this is such a passionless, unfunny slog through the most pathetic iterations of “laugh at the fat man” comedy. But if there’s a Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3, then I think it’s safe for us to burn Hollywood to the ground.

Rating: 0 out of 5 Guttenbergs

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Game On! Adam Sandler vs. Classic Video Games in the First 'Pixels' Trailer

The words "Adam Sandler comedy" don't mean much anymore, but surround him with a great cast and an entire arcade's worth of digital effects and you may have the makings of a summer blockbuster. The first trailer for the video game comedy Pixels has been released and may be worth plunking down a few quarters for.

Directed by Chris Columbus and co-starring Kevin James, Peter Dinklage, Michelle Monaghan, and Josh Gad (is he everywhere lately or what?), the film has Sandler as a former video game champion called upon by the President to defend the world from invading aliens that have taken the form of '80s video game characters. The vintage pixelated graphics look great against the modern backdrop, and this looks like it could be a lot of fun.

Pixels hits theaters on July 24th.


Pixels (2015) Official Trailer #1 - Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage Movie HD by CG Record

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First Trailer for 'Hotel Transylvania 2' Opens Its Doors

If the $360M haul of Hotel Transylvania told us anything, it's that Adam Sandler is better off heard and not seen.  It also meant that a sequel to the monster-filled animated comedy was a definite, and now we the doors have opened to Hotel Transylvania 2 with the first official trailer.

Sandler is back along with Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Andy Samberg, Mel Brooks, Keegan-Michael Key, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Molly Shannon, and Fran Drescher. The haunted hotel no longer excludes humans, but Dracula faces a new problem with his grandson who may or may not be a vampire like him. Here's the full synopsis:

The Drac pack is back for an all-new monster comedy adventure in Sony Pictures Animation's Hotel Transylvania 2! Everything seems to be changing for the better at Hotel Transylvania... Dracula’s rigid monster-only hotel policy has finally relaxed, opening up its doors to human guests. But behind closed coffins, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. But little do they know that Drac’s grumpy and very old, old, old school dad Vlad is about to pay a family visit to the hotel. And when Vlad finds out that his great-grandson is not a pure blood – and humans are now welcome at Hotel Transylvania – things are going to get batty!

Meet the Drac Pack when Hotel Transylvania 2 opens on September 25th.


Hotel Transylvania 2 Teaser TRAILER 1 (2015) - Adam Sandler Animated Movie HD_HD by viveos

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Kevin James is Back in New 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2' Trailer

Blame yourselves, America. The first Paul Blart movie made nearly $200M six years ago, and while it's a little crazy to think it took that long for Kevin James to suit up for a comeback the trailer for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is here so just deal with it.

Looking pretty much exactly like the last one, the bumbling security guard now finds himself in Las Vegas attending a conference with his daughter. There he stumbles upon a heist and will trip, fall, crash, boom his way into disrupting it. Whether we like it or not people flock to stuff like this and chances are enough will turn out that we'll get a Paul Blart 3 at some point.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 opens April 17th.


Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 - Trailer 2 (Official HD) by MOVIES-Trailer

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Believe the Impossible in Trailer for Faith-Based Drama, 'Little Boy'

When it comes to cornering the market on the growing faith-based entertainment market, Roma Downey and Mark Burnett have it covered. The duo scored a huge hit with Son of God earlier this year, and they also were behind that miniseries on The Bible that performed so well. Now they're back again with Little Boy, a film meant to inspire the belief that faith can achieve anything.

Starring Emily Watson, Tom Wilkinson, Jakob Salvati, Ali Landry, Ted Levine, Michael Rapaport, Ben Chaplin, and Paul Blart...er, Kevin James (!!!), the uplifting WWII drama centers on a little boy whose only wish is to have his father return from the war. So what do you think happens? No, perhaps the better question is "What do you BELIEVE happens?"

Directed by Alejandro Montverde, Little Boy hits theaters February 27th.

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Kevin James Patrols Vegas in First 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2' Trailer

Did you forget that a sequel to Paul Blart: Mall Cop was coming? Or did you intentionally block it from memory? Whatever you think of it, the first film made $183M five years ago, and that's a lot of people paying to watch Kevin James stumble around and fall over over stuff, all while wearing a uniform designed to emphasize his chunkiness. And if you were one of those who liked it then, chances are Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is already on your radar.

The first trailer has arrived and...let's face it, it's exactly what was to be expected. The sequel finds inept security guard Paul Blart attending a security expo in Las Vegas with his daughter, only to stumble upon a major art heist. Somehow the band KISS figures into all this, and of course there's plenty of time for that special brand of Kevin James tomfoolery.

Despite the earlier success was anyone really clamoring for a sequel? And how long until we can get a crossover between Paul Blart and Melissa McCarthy's Tammy? Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 hits theaters April 17th 2015.


Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 Official Trailer #1 (2015) - Movie HD. by TrailerNow

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